02 • I Must Be Hallucinating

It has only been seven months but never have I wished for death as much as I do now. That fucking asshole knew! He knew and he made a fucking joke out of it! Thought he could be some clever ass and foreshadow my misfortune without me remembering, did he? Well, tough shit Dave, I'll throw myself off the balcony if it means getting to strangle you sooner!

I can't believe this shit.

It started off normal, as normal as being reincarnated could with no previous experience. I found out that the people around me don't speak English, and if they did it wasn't very much. No, instead they speak Japanese. A fucking language I have about a week of experience with as Anna and that was with a fucking translator on sight. Thankfully, through sheer stubbornness and rage, I've come to understand the language as well as a five or seven year old would in these past months — I'm guessing, I honestly don't know how much a five or seven year old should know especially of a foreign language like I'm learning.

I next found out I have an older sister and twin brother. My sister is older by three or four years, I haven't figured that out yet. She has black hair and eyes, like our Father. Her name is Hana and she's a...happy child. I'm still iffy whether that's a good thing or not. On one hand, the family has already raised one happy child and has had that experience so I don't have to keep up a pretense. On the other hand, it can be very annoying.

Then I find out that I'm not even in the same fucking universe anymore! And if that isn't enough, I'm in a motherfucking anime. One that I only saw like...like five episodes of! This is bullshit! I am the most under qualified person for this! I don't know half the shit that's going to happen or when! Some big shit happens and I want to know what so I can avoid it damnit!

This is bullshit. If it hadn't been months of seeing the same ass shit on the news, I would think that I was on some baby drugs or something. Maybe my milk bottle was spiked because honestly, superpowers? What kind of grade school imagination roller coaster shit is this? Am I supposed to just go with flow? No "oh hey yeah heroes exist and when you reach a certain age you get a superpower too" warning? Was I supposed to figure this out on my damn own!?

Not only is it incomprehensible, but the details are just a headache. If I thought society was bitch before, it's a little fucker now. Superpowers - sorry, I mean quirks, are the big thing. I don't need to see the news or take a walk outside to know that. It's just common sense. Once the initial fear of something new and strange fades, it becomes the new normal and the greatest thing. Now, take that and use it to replace race. And there you go! Society is still fucked just even more so! Way to go government!

What complete horse dung. Fucking superpowers.

What were the "higher-ups" thinking?

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It was pretty hard to figure out that I wasn't in my own universe. As a baby, I'm confined to my own room almost 24/7. It's not bad since it means I don't have to deal with other people and I get to work on language with my brother, but it gets boring very fast. The toys are absolutely mind numbing.

My twin and I get visitors in our room often. I've already met my grandmother (whose name I don't know) and my grandfather (again, I don't know his name). My mother (still no name) and sister Hana are the most frequent visitors. Oh, and my father. I saw him like once, and I think that was just so we would know that he actually exists. Talk about father figures, right?

Point is, we get visitors and don't leave the room. It was during one of the rare times Mother took us out the room to the living area and the TV was on. Hana was seated right in front of it, Gran and Gramps on the couch to the side. Since my vision was complete shit, and still is as a baby, I didn't see all too clearly what was on.

It sounded like the news though. Gran and Gramps and Mother talked like it was the news. It sounded very terrible - a hostage situation or something similar along with a fire. And then I'm placed next to Hana on the floor and I could see the screen. And you know what I saw? A man in a fucking spandex.

What the fuck was I watching? Spider-Man? The Fantastic Four? No. I was watching the fucking news. The news, which showed a man in a spandex throwing out his hand and producing a tough wind, knocking the offender down. And you know what else? The news lady cheered! What the fuck!

And then Mother moves closer and quietly explains to my brother and I that superheroes exist and are a job occupation. What, like the fucking Avengers?

I was too dumbfounded to do much in response to that revelation. The channel was quickly changed after that and my twin and I were pulled away for a nap.

Many would think I'm living in the dream world - the one where it's awesome. I thought it was a load of crap and I was ready to die and strangle Dave. Because when heroes become normal, then so do villains. And I did not - do not - want to deal with assholes thinking it'd be a good idea to do some illegal shit everyday and potentially get caught in the crossfire.

Tch, I might just die before my twentieth with all this crap.

Fucking superheroes. And villains.

The hell are the police doing then?

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Hana bounces into the nursery excitedly, Mother following at a much more calm pace behind her. Mother has light brown hair that falls in uneven waves to her shoulders, bangs parted in the middle. She also has hazel eyes, expression always furrowed into a worried crease. Her eyes have always made me curious as to where my twin and I's eye color comes from.

My brother, named Tenko, lays beside my seated form in our shared crib. He giggles, spit falling from his lips as he babbles excitedly at Hana and Mother's entrance. He has curly black hair and red eyes. I share the same look as him, having seen a mirror before. Only difference between the two of us, beside gender and name, is the mole on the right side of his chin, underneath his lips.

"Hi, imouto, otouto!" Hana whispers, pressing her face against the crib bars. I cried when she shouted last time in greeting. I understand her enthusiasm but I do not appreciate her screaming in my face, only inches away.

Tenko giggles his own greeting, and I refrain from rolling my eyes. Mother simply watches, leaning against the door frame. I ignore Hana, opting to watch as well instead of playing mind numbing games. Well, I try to ignore her. She reaches through the crib bars, smiling and giggling as she lightly pokes Tenko, making him smile and giggle. Then she tries to do the same to me but I've long decided I wasn't going to play along with the happy child act. Once her finger is close enough, I try to swat her away. She just tries again. This goes on for five more tries before I've become annoyed.

Once she tries for a sixth time, I lean forward and clamp my mouth down on her finger, biting with all my baby strength.

"Ow! Rena-chan! No!" She shouts childishly while trying to forcefully pull her finger away.

"Hana, no!" Mother shouts, alarmed and rushing forward to stop my sister from doing more damage. "Don't do that! You'll hurt her!"

I glared at her once I let go of her finger, turning over for a nap. Being a baby is exhausting. With so little energy, I can't do anything! Ugh!

"Come on, Hana-chan," I hear mother coax. "Let's leave Tenko-kun, and Rena-chan nap, okay? You can help me with.." I don't hear the rest as the door closes and they move down the hall.

Frustratingly enough, it took a long while to figure out what my own name is. Honestly, what sort of name is Rena? It's almost sounds like arena in English and that's just stupid.

I huff, rolling back over to look at my brother. He stares back curiously before smiling and blowing spit bubbles at me as he tries to talk. It is both adorable and disgusting. It also has me thinking, what should my first word be? A curse word? A name? Can I say it in English and freak everyone out?

No, wait, that's a bad idea. I've seen enough movies with child geniuses to know that's a stupid thing to show off. I'm not trusting this world until I learn the damn laws myself. You can't break the law if you don't know what you're breaking. It's a lot more fun to know exactly what sort of law-breaking I'm doing.

As it is, I can barely pronounce words much less read them. I groan in annoyance, wishing I was older already so I could do some shit. I might just go stupid staring at soft pink and blue walls and wooden bars. This isn't the sort of prison I imagined I would land myself in. It's pathetic.

"Fuck," I mutter, pushing the english word past my tongue and lips. If I can't pronounce Japanese then I might as well practice my English.

"Fu-fuuk."

Ah shit. Don't tell me...I look over to see Tenko staring at me intensely as he moves his lips up and down, clearly trying to say something.

"Fu..fud..ck...fu..ck...fuck!" He chirps brightly with a smile, showing off his baby teeth.

"Well, shit," I say, pushing the words out in surprise. I had already planned on corrupting my twin because no way in hell was I going to be twins with a pansy. I didn't plan on corrupting him till we were at least three.

"Shh..ii...shit," he spits, saliva falling from his lips as he smiles again.

...an early education never hurt anyone, right?

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It's been maybe two, three months since I first started teaching Tenko english. He took to it like a duck to water. It was slightly slow going since I didn't want our parents to find out. They noticed the increase in babbling however and Mother deemed it evidence enough to have us start trying to speak our "first word".

It was hilarious how everytime Mother tried to get Tenko to address her, he would shoot her confused and bewildered looks. The english lessons may have gotten in the way of that but he eventually got around to it. It helped that I had started my own japanese pronunciation. He's a very bright boy, and always seemed to understand my intentions. Maybe those scientists and doctors were on to something about twin telepathy and empathy back in my old world.

As it is, Hana and our grandparents began trying to get us to address them first. Father...well, we don't really see him all that often. I've noticed that it seems to be the norm in the house. The only thing I really know about him is that he's a business man of some sort. The distant type of father. Disappointing but I don't exactly have a good track record when it comes to father figures.

Oh well.

Today's just another day of sitting in the living room bored out of my mind. Hana and Tenko are currently playing some block game to my right. Mother is across the room at the diner table. Gran and Gramps are on the couch, watching some sort of soap opera on TV. It's absolutely mind numbing!

"Rena! Rena!"

Ugh, what now? I just want to sleep my boredom away.

"Rena!"

I groan, my little patience thinning as my annoyance flares. I look over with a glare to see Tenko pouting at me and holding a block in my direction. Blocks. He wants me to play blocks. How do you tell a child not even a year old to fuck off without actually saying fuck off?

"Rena!" He shouts, glaring as much as a baby could.

"Tenko," I answer boredly, making sure to convey my irritation and exhaustion through my facial expression alone.

I must have succeeded because he huffs, reluctantly turning away and placing the block back with its block brothers and sisters….I really need a nap.

"Bitch," he mutters which woah ho. I did not teach him that.

"Bastard," I bite back reflexively.

He turns back to smile at me and I reluctantly smile back. The little shit thinks he can get away with being cute, does he?

"Oh my god," Gran whispers. "Oh my…Nao! Nao! They..they said their first words!"

What? Who?

Mother quickly abandons what she was working on to come over. "What? Their first words?" Oh, so she's Nao.

Wait, first words? Ah fuck. I wanted a curse word to be my first word! Damnit!

"Tenko-kun, Rena-chan, can you say it again? For Mommy?" She asks, smiling as she kneels down next to Hana who's smiling if a little confused.

"Rena!" Tenko shouts happily.

"Tenko!" I complain.

He turns, nose scrunching as he sticks his tongue out. I am offended. Maybe I corrupted him too early.

"Little bastard," I mutter, glaring at him.

He grins, completely unperturbed, "Bitch."

"Tenko! Rena! No!" Mother gasps aghast. "Where...where did you learn..," she trails off, horror written all over her face. Her brows furrow and her lips press into a thin line. "Your father is the only other one that speaks English," she mutters, her expression quickly changing into irritation and anger.

Huh. Never saw Mother to really have a backbone with that permanent worried expression on her face. Oh well, at least Father is in trouble and I'm not. Take that you distant dickwad! That'll show you ignore your two newborns!

Mother breaks off into angry mumbles. Hana twists her head between Tenko, Mother, and I in confusion. Gran and Gramps still look shocked. Tenko is grinning, his attention already back to his blocks.

This...this actually might not be too bad.

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Ahaha! Rewrite is done! Now I can finally get on with this fic!

So sorry this took so long! My attention has been split between posted fics and new fic ideas.