warning: mention of r*p*


I was completely lost in the maze of short, narrow old streets of the city and yet I couldn't bring myself to stop running. Some of them were bustling with nightlife, decently lit not only by light posts along the sidewalks but also by open stores and bars. I did my best to avoid hitting anyone and anything in my crazed race against time but every now and then I bumped into someone.

Jane's words echoed in my head, the playfulness in them only adding to the horror of what they suggested.

Please, Alec, don't go through with it, don't hurt my Luke.

I prayed and hoped but I didn't truly expect Luke to be alright. With every minute I spent looking for either one of the two the less real hope I had of ever seeing Luke again. I was running aimlessly, feeling the tears on my face being wiped away by the wind as I crossed the centre of the city.

After what felt like hours I reached emptier streets, shorter and darker. A lot of them didn't even go anywhere, they would just abruptly become a wall. I would have to turn around and run back to where I came from and most of the time I couldn't even remember where I came. My feet started to hurt from running on stones with sandals, I became tired and began to trip on the hem of my long skirt.

Just when I was getting used to turning around a corner and finding yet another completely deserted street I ran into an alley and found Alec standing a few meters away, engulfed by shadows.

I nearly tripped over myself and fell down.

" Alec. " I breathed out with relief and barely saw a smile spreading across his face under the dim light coming from the post he was leaning against.

"Looking for me?"

I hesitated for just long enough to check him for any sign that he had hurt Luke and when I found none I ran to him. He was dressed in some type of uniform, much like the first time I saw him passing by inside of a car all those months earlier. He was perfectly clean and composed, not a hair out of its place, and I felt the heaviness of my worries leaving my shoulders. I threw myself at him forgetting all about his true nature and the hardness of his body for a few seconds, unloading the tension I had accumulated in my desperate search for Luke. He immediately embraced me and buried his face in my hair.

"God, I thought I would never find any of you. I was so worried" I whispered against the cool skin of his neck and he removed his face from my hair to look at me.

All the air left my lungs.

He kept his arms around me even as I put mine on his chest, open palms pressed against him so that my fingers rested on the fabric covering his collarbone. I was caged but it made no difference because when I met his gaze I stared right into his very crimson eyes and froze in place. His face was as close to mine as it could be without touching and in the moments I stood there completely static with shock his cold breath hit me repeatedly. I knew I would become irrational as soon as I inhaled it but I had to breathe eventually so I tried to break free to move away from him.

He wouldn't let me.

"Don't be afraid."

It was pointless to say that and he probably knew it. Fear took over me in instants and I squirmed to try to break his hold on me. He sighed in annoyance and grabbed me by my hair, his other arm still holding me firmly in place.

"Marina," he said as if talking to a spoilt child who was throwing a tantrum, "calm down before you hurt yourself."

I swallowed dry, feeling an uncomfortable lump in my throat. I gave into my need to breathe and allowed my lungs to be filled with Alec's delicious smell.

It's so fucking good, how can it be?

My body reacted right away. The memory of how even more wonderful the taste of his mouth got me automatically leaning in and sucking on his full bottom lip, a lust-filled murmur escaping my mouth as my eyes fluttered shut.

I could feel him smiling against my lips.

"So easily distracted."

He pulled me away by the fistful of hair he still held, just enough to get me to look at him again.

"I have missed you" he said kindly, his voice so soft I almost didn't hear him.

I need to get a hold of myself, I still need to find Luke.

"Alec" I closed my eyes again to try to concentrate on what I needed to say, "I need to find Luke."

"Lost your pet, did you?" He teased me. "Leave him be, I will be taking you with me anyway. He can't come."

I shook my head nervously.

"I can't go with you, I already told you. And I can't just leave him, he could be in danger."

Alec let go of my hair and put his hand around my neck without applying any pressure. Though he was just letting it rest there I felt my heartbeat picking up at the gesture.

He looked at me in the strangest of ways. I couldn't say what he was thinking if my life depended on it and in that moment it probably did.

"You told him," he accused, his eyes glinting dangerously, "didn't you?"

"No." I lied without hesitation. He smiled broadly.

"Liar."

God, he looked so ferociously beautiful . It was so difficult to react logically to him being so close to his face, taken by his scent. Though the real colour of his eyes startled me when I first saw it from up close I grew used to it and he just looked even better with it. It made him look otherworldly and absolutely captivating just as much as terrifying. He looked like a fallen angel.

"He won't tell anyone" I promised, desperate to save him, "he didn't even believe me."

"Oh, love" he sighed with false pity, "I'm afraid I can't take your word for it. We have a very strict law and I must uphold it. It's my duty."

I felt on the verge of tears again. I thought about what that meant for both Natalia and Luke, and for anyone else if Natalia broke her vow of secrecy to me. I began to panic as I imagined what he would do to ensure absolutely no-one knew about it. Then I finally worried about what that meant for me .

"Did you come back to kill me?"

He found that terribly funny. He laughed loudly and it echoed through the dark street, lingering hauntingly in the air even after he stopped. He took my face in his hands, his thumbs softly drying my wet cheeks in soothing motions.

"No, Marina. Nobody is going to kill you" he assured me.

"Then what do you want?"

"Right now I really want to taste you."

That did it for me. I snapped out of my haze like I had been kicked violently and pushed him away with all the strength I could muster. He wouldn't move at all, it was like I wasn't even trying.

"No, don't do it. Let me go, get off of me."

It was like pushing away a wall. He clicked his tongue impatiently and grabbed both of my wrists with a single hand. He then shoved me against a wall so quickly that I didn't even see him moving. I blinked and suddenly felt my back hitting the bricks. He kept me in place pressing me with his own body and I began to ache all over, new bruises joining the old unhealed ones I still had.

"Alec, get the fuck away from me."

His face lit up with something like admiration and I swore I was mistaken in my interpretation until he spoke, his voice filled with wonder.

"No pleading, no begging. Just orders." He smiled fondly. "Such courage. If I didn't know better I would think you are not afraid of me at all."

I am about to pass out in this fucking street .

"Alec" I tried to reason with him again once I accepted I couldn't force my way out of his hold, "don't do anything that would make me resent you. Don't ruin this."

Something flashed in his eyes and his smile vanished from his face.

"I was so sorry to stop you that night," he said ignoring my words. "I was looking forward to watching you kill that deplorable man."

I furrowed my brow as I tried to process that.

"For how long were you watching me before you stopped me?"

"Since you left your house to go to work."

What the fuck .

"You were already watching when he followed me?" I asked in disbelief. "You watched as he tried to rape me and did nothing ?"

He shrugged.

"It would have been a mistake" he admitted "and I would eventually regret it. But I had direct orders to not interfere in your life unless it seemed you were at risk of dying" he explained in a dismissive tone.

Jesus Christ, he really is a sociopath.

I felt something slowly dying inside of me.

"Alec, do you have any idea of the seriousness of what you are telling me?"

He didn't care, he did not care one bit.

"You didn't need me at all. You handled it just fine."

"It doesn't matter !" I was pretty infuriated at that point, I felt like punching him but knew it would just hurt me and annoy him. "You were willing to let me go through something like that! Fuck, I thought you cared. I thought we were friends and even if we weren't, what type of person just stands and watches that?"

"I did not care for you then nearly as much as I do now. Everything is different now."

That is goddamn right.

"It is," I agreed, "it's all pretty different now that this is on the table. I don't think I can ever forgive you for this."

He chuckled.

"I can understand your feelings regarding this but you are mistaken. You will have more than enough time to find it in yourself to forgive me for everything."

I eyed him suspiciously.

"Everything? What else?"

My wrists were burning from being held so tightly by him. It took me a while to realise what his words implied. I felt like vomiting.

"You hurt Luke," I accused. "What did you do to him?"

He remained in silence, his expression blank.

"Where is he?" I pressed with urgency.

He is dead. He is dead and it is my fault.

Alec agreed with me like he could read my thoughts.

"You chose for him" he released my hands but kept himself pressed against me. "You knew exactly what would happen to him and yet, being fully aware of the consequences, you disobeyed me. You wanted this for him."

He is right. I did this to him .

I felt faint.

"I think I'm going to pass out."

I was breathing with difficulty. I grabbed his arms to support myself when my legs began to tremble and he passed an arm around my waist to help me up.

"I'll catch you."

I couldn't stand to be so close to him but I couldn't get away.

I genuinely hated him at that moment.

"Something died in me, Alec" I breathed out, "I think it was every good thing I ever felt for you."

His fingers sunk in my skin.

"It will pass."

I felt something tingling underneath my skin, slowly building up, ready to explode. I had felt that before and the memory of it only fuelled my rage. I felt that when I pushed the drunk guy off of me, when I discovered Alec watched as he attacked me and I had to fight for myself all alone, unaware that someone I considered a friend stood only meters away idly observing as I was stripped of my dignity. I thought of what could have happened to Luke and Alec's words came back to me. Slowly and painfully he had promised to kill him. Luke was not only dead, he also must have suffered greatly before he passed.

And it's my fault, I brought it upon him .

No. Alec did.

I didn't kill Luke, Alec did it. With his own hands, not mine. My kind, sweet Luke was gone, probably after a hellish torture session and the person responsible for it had his arm around me like he had any right to touch me.

I exploded. I shoved him back with everything I had in me and he was forced to take a step back.

His expression was taken by pure bewilderment.

" Impressive ."

I hardly thought so. He barely moved at all and when I tried to get past him he easily prevented me. My sudden burst of strength lasted for only a second, if that much, and after that he effortlessly subdued me again.

"You really are something" he marvelled. I had no idea of what impressed him so much and I sincerely didn't care, I just wanted him gone.

I noticed then that some type of fog was going up in the air around us. It creeped towards me and I lost all sensation where it touched me. Alec could probably tell I was panicking because he took my hand, as he used to do so often before it all went downhill, and spoke to me in a reassuring manner.

"It's just me. I have a gift. I will use it on you for a little while so you can feel better when you wake up" he smiled softly. "Don't fret."

I did fret, I freaked out.

It was like dying.

It was the single most horrifying thing I had ever been put through, physically. It was just absolute nothingness , just an awful void. It was like time didn't pass, in fact it was like time didn't even exist at all. I couldn't tell for how long he used it on me but it felt like forever. I had no way of knowing if he was doing anything to my unconscious body and that thought made everything so much worse.

I couldn't even know if he was killing me, if death would be just an extension of that total lack of feeling. I was floating in total darkness, alone with nothing but my troubled thoughts, drowning in them. Thrown into an abyss.

Stop it, just make it stop.

He did stop eventually.

We were in a completely different place when he lifted it from me.