I used to love watching the sky when it looked special. When the sunrise or the sunset seemed even more beautiful than usual, like in the peak of summer when I would look up and see a swirling mixture of pink, purple and blue bathed in the most incredibly golden light. When the clouds were bigger and looked fluffier than most days and all of them had that amazing shimmering outline, as if the gods embroidered them with magical threads of gold. Here and there the sunlight would go down to touch the land either in large visibly separated columns or in dazzling pouches of light, spilling from up above like a thick waterfall. I would watch it from the top of the hills of my birthplace, hills covered with vividly green grass that spread over the horizon like a big blanket covering a roller-coaster. The city really lived up to its name, it truly was a beautiful horizon. Those moments would stretch out so much as the sun took so long to go up and then down that I would feel that time was frozen.

When I learnt of my "gift" those memories were a little tainted. Like I was, in fact. It seemed that everything I had was a little tainted but as I noticed what it was that I was capable of doing I began to wonder if time was actually frozen so I could watch the firmament unfold at my own pace.

I don't know why but that possibility made all of those memories lose a bit of their magic in my eyes. I thought of that as I ate the food delivered to my room and couldn't even finish my plate.

Corin did go back to my room. She was even more excited to be under my so-called gift after Demetri confirmed that I had used it on him and told her I had felt it myself for the very first time. As her bright eyes bore into mine I reprimanded myself again for telling him such a thing so carelessly.

"You have little idea of how important you are, haven't you?" She said as she unceremoniously sat on my bed with me. "You were so lost, it was adorable."

"I wasn't expecting that many people" I admitted, "I'm just a very average girl. College student, minimum wage job, the usual package for people my age."

"You have been the hottest topic here for months , I thought Alec told you."

I shrugged.

"It didn't really hit me. I had a whole other set of things to worry about."

She got serious and pressed her lips together.

"Right. You were all ungrateful and sad about some human boy. You are over that now, right? Alec is a much better partner in every way."

I was taken aback by her declaration and the sudden shift in her mood.

"And how would you know? You never met my 'human boy.'" I sounded more defensive and a little angrier than I intended but she merely laughed.

"I don't have to. I know Alec, no human is competition for him in any sense."

Something in her voice raised a suspicion in me that I was not very sure that I should share with her. After confiding in Demetri so impulsively I took the chance to keep that one to myself for the time being.

"Well, I am also worried about my friend Natalia, and my parents and how they will deal with my absence."

"Oh, you worry so much. Life is no fun that way. Thousands of parents lose their children everyday, yours will deal and live the rest of their lives like all of the other ones."

Something like an electric shock ran through my body as I heard her dismissive tone and insensitive words, but she kept talking and I had no room to counter her remark even if I wanted to say anything.

"But you are living a very exciting life all of a sudden and you don't even care. Come on, are you not even the slightest bit thrilled about discovering your power and being here?"

I sighed in defeat.

"A little bit."

"Ah, that's the spirit!" She clapped and jumped a little, shaking my bed. "You'll get to be out of the castle in missions and battles, you are so lucky."

There is that word again.

I studied her as she spoke and wondered if she ever left the castle at all. Either her self-awareness or my question reflecting in my face made her spontaneously answer what I never voiced.

"I don't leave the castle very often."

"Hm, I thought so." I took my fork on the empty plate I still had on the bedside table and played with some leftover food, fidgeting under her stare. "I don't think I want to do any of that, honestly. I'm pretty chill."

"You're going to feel much differently once you're turned. Trust me."

Right, I'll lose all of my sense of self to be a violent monster. Can't wait.

"So, you ate. Do it on me."

She stood up and waited for me.

"Uhm, ok. I don't know if I'll manage. I never know for sure" I warned her.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm aware. But you're getting better, I'll keep my hopes up if you don't mind."

That actually didn't help me but I kept quiet.

I turned to her, still sitting on the bed, and rested my hands on my legs with my palms up. I searched for it, the pressure that was finally familiar to me though not very much. I took some time to find it and Corin must have grown impatient because she giggled and distracted me.

"Look at you all deep in concentration," she teased with a smile.

"Yeah, and you just broke it."

"Wow, are we grumpy?"

I tried not to roll my eyes at her and started over. I did the same as I had done in front of the kings and with Demetri, but I couldn't feel anything. I groaned in frustration and kept trying, but there was nothing there. When I looked at Corin she was not reacting so I was sure that nothing happened.

"Are you too at ease? I have this effect on people. Maybe you need some fuel."

At that she threw herself at me, so suddenly and quickly that my scream was caught in my throat and I barely gasped. My head bounced on the soft mattress with a force that made my neck hurt and my hair cover my face, I could see only the glimmer of her vivid red eyes through its curtain before I closed my own eyes and felt my heart beating as furiously as the wings of a hummingbird.

I grabbed her wrists instinctively and with the burst of emotion she caused in me I quickly found the buzzing of my power under my skin, coming to the surface like a defence mechanism. I pushed it forward in a desperate attempt to protect myself and my scream came out with a considerable delay.

Corin disappeared from my sight and her weight left me. When I recomposed myself and sat back up I saw her on the other side of the room and Demetri standing between us, frowning in displeasure. The door that led to the corridor was wide open.

"I was just helping her," she said defensively.

His frown deepened and he looked at me.

"She was," I confirmed.

"You could have hurt her nonetheless. Do not touch her again."

She huffed, obviously beyond offended.

"I would never."

Demetri walked over to me and gently turned my face in all directions with one hand, looking for something. He then gave the rest of my body a quick scan and hummed, seeming satisfied.

"You're alright."

" Of course she is."

He silenced Corin with one stern look.

"Please leave now, Corin."

She argued with him a bit, saying how he interrupted me and she didn't get to feel anything but ultimately left when he threatened to throw her out.

"God, how unnecessary. Honestly ."

She vanished from my sight frighteningly fast; I blinked and missed it.

Demetri turned his reproaching expression to me.

"You are not making my awful job any easier."

"Sorry, I didn't think she would do that. Obviously ."

Don't be cheeky, Jesus Christ .

He chuckled and an almost imperceptible smirk escaped him.

"Let's take you to your blasted friend. Try to get to the other side of the castle in one piece."

My heart skipped a beat.

Natalia. Finally.

We left the room and I walked slightly behind him so he could lead the way. He laughed to himself, probably as he thought of the question he decided to throw at me.

"You still like Corin?"

"Yes, I do. I like her a lot, even though she fucked Alec."

I couldn't hold it, I knew I should stop telling him things Iike that but the desire to shock him was too strong.

As I watched his horror-stricken expression I smiled to myself and decided it was worth it.

"He told you?" He guessed. He heard all of my conversation with her, being on the other side of the door, so he knew she didn't tell me.

I slowly moved my head from side to side.

"Then how...?"

I tried to hold back a cocky smile but failed.

"I'm very perceptive."

Usually .

He stared at me incredulously.

"So I've heard."

A heavy silence befell us, awkward on his side and somewhat satisfied on mine. He seemed to be struggling to speak after that and I rejoiced in my little victory. We walked for a good while before he ventured talking to me again.

"Are you worried about their relationship?"

I frowned.

"No. Should I be?"

"You shouldn't" he assured me, "but I can see why you could be."

"I'm fine" I said in my best nonchalant tone. "Worst thing to happen is what, Alec chooses her over me? I think I would survive that."

"Would you now?" He sounded amused and I didn't like it.

"Sure, I have been through worse."

He smiled.

"There is not a chance of that happening anyway. You won't have to survive it."

I wondered how he could be so sure of that but won against the urge to ask him. I shouldn't care either way, in fact if Alec decided he didn't want me it would be for the best.

I lied to Demetri and it would crush me, but it would definitely be for the best.

"Will you talk to him about it?" He sounded genuinely curious but I couldn't quite understand why.

"No, I don't think I will mention it to him."

He shook his head and the worry in his voice made me both confused and scared.

"You should. Don't let anything stand in between the two of you."

Why would he be so worried about something that doesn't concern him?

Like it happened when Corin jumped in to speak in his favour the fact that Demetri was willing to interfere for Alec unsettled me. Was everyone in there so protective of him and his feelings? Were they like that with each other in general?

Did Alec hold any sort of authority over them?

I noticed then that I didn't know anything about their hierarchy and never really knew much about Alec's power besides feeling it myself. Corin spoke of how important I was to them but I suddenly wondered how important Alec and his sister were to that coven.

There really was a lot I still didn't know and the more I realised it the more I felt caught up in something much bigger than me without any real idea of its danger and complexity. I wanted to know everything just as much as I wanted to run from there as unaware of it all as possible.

We finally stopped in front of a door similar to mine where a guard wearing a pale grey suit stood by.

Demetri sighed and turned to me, speaking in a very low voice.

"Do not speak Portuguese with her" he ordered, "and do not attempt anything you both could regret."

"I don't even know what you mean by that, but sure. I'll be good."

He stared at me suspiciously for a moment before he looked away and nodded to the unknown guard, who opened the door for us without knocking first.

She was sitting on the floor, holding a strand of her hair and looking at its tips. The door flung open and she looked up. As soon as our eyes met she let go of her hair and shrieked. I saw her getting up and running to me, and the force of the impact of her body on mine knocked me down, causing us both to fall to the ground with her on top of me. Just like he did to Corin, Demetri quickly took Natalia and threw her away from me.

He looked at her fuming with anger.

"What is wrong with you?"

Natalia just gawked at him.

" Ouch . Rude much?"

"She was just hugging me!" I got to my feet and tried to go around him to reach her but he held me with one arm around my stomach.

"If you get hurt I get punished and honestly even if I didn't I would still be really mad. I literally have one job."

Natalia grunted.

"She is not made of glass for crying out loud. You ruined our reunion, can we talk please?"

I tried not to think of how differently I was being treated by those vampires compared to when they still didn't know if I was powerful at all but I couldn't help but remember how Alec was going to let me get hurt back then. The difference was too big, like polar opposites.

Demetri let me go and left the room mumbling something about annoying disrespectful humans. I ran to Nat and finally hugged her properly, lingering in her embrace. I didn't think I would cry but when we stepped away from each other I could feel my face was soaked with tears.

"God, Ma, what the fuck is happening?" She inquired in Portuguese and I quickly shook my head, scared that Demetri would go inside again and do something harsh after getting angry too many times.

"No Portuguese" I told her in English. "He just told me outside."

She sighed deeply.

"I thought you were crazy," she continued in English. "I thought you were out of it but you were the only one seeing things right. Fuck, this is unbelievable. And Luke is dead ? Is it true? Please tell me it's not true, tell me that boy just wanted to torture me."

It all came back to me then, what I had buried inside to deal with later. I felt it building inside my chest, coming up from a freezing cold place in my belly. It was like I could feel Luke swimming up from the deep waters where I had buried him because I thought I should focus on Natalia until I found her.

But there she was. Safe and sound.

I began crying even harder, I could simply not hold it in anymore.

"Fuck, it's really true? That bastard fucking killed him?" She covered her face with one hand and then ran her fingers through her hair, sobbing as she started to pace around the room.

"Fucking Christ . What for? For knowing? Because you told him?"

I heard an underlying question hidden in her words.

"Is this really all your fault?" That is what she is truly asking me.

"That's what they said."

She tried to contain her tears and dry her face.

"Good God. Yeah, I figured. Jane was going to kill me too for knowing but changed her mind for some reason. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine" I answered automatically, focusing on the other part of what she said. "Jane brought you here?"

"Yes, she went to our house. I guess she went after me while her brother had you."

I got a little lost with that information. I had seen Jane in Rio before I met Alec there but I only told Alec that Natalia knew their secret after I left Jane. If she went to Minas Gerais to kill Natalia she must have done so before I informed Alec of Nat's knowledge.

My blood ran cold.

"Jesus Christ, they already knew? They knew it before I told him? They were watching us the whole time?"

I was whispering to myself, completely in shock. A lot of things were still getting into place in my head about their operation to get me to be part of their coven and the more I found out the stranger I felt.

They went through a lot of trouble to have me.

I still hadn't decided how I truly felt about it. I missed their motive. I still needed to know that.

Nat ignored my mumbling, shocked with something else entirely.

"Fuck, and now you're with him? You're with Luke's murderer ?"

She was clearly disgusted and suddenly so was I.

She is right, what the fuck am I doing?

I snapped out of something after that. The way she threw the truth in my face woke me up.

"Fuck, you're right. I am out of it. What am I even doing?"

"I don't know but you're gonna stop right now." She held my arms and actually shook me as if she was trying to get some sense into me. "You have to be under some dark spell."

"Nat, please don't judge me too harshly. The past few days have been insane, I just... I think I am in love with Alec. I think I was never really in love with Luke"

Her mouth fell open but for a few seconds no sound came out. When she did speak her words were dripping with disbelief.

"You're kidding me. Marina, you are fucking kidding me."

I looked away in shame.

"He is rotten , for God's sake"

"He is not that bad. He is actually very nice most of the time. I do like him a lot."

I did, I had liked him before I knew of what he was. I liked him before I kissed him but if I was honest with myself I used to like him in a very non-romantic way and that only changed when we started to touch. Something about being close to him physically made me confused.

Nat studied my face and what she said after that made me remember that she was the person to know me best in the whole world.

"No, Ma, don't try it. You can't fix him, he is not some poor bird with a broken wing. He is not going to heal, he is just going to drag you in the mud with him instead."

I hugged her again, desperate to be comforted though it was her own words that hurt so much. She removed her face from my shoulder but kept me in her arms as she spoke again.

"Cut this bullshit" she said in a contradictory warm tone. "Whatever they did to you, brainwashing, dark magic, I don't know, shake it off. This is pure bullshit, I know you were in love with Luke, I was there. Through the whole thing, ever since you met him, remember? I saw it all, Marina, so I won't fall for whatever you fell." She raised her hand and for a moment I thought she would slap me but she just put it on my cheek. "You're all over the place, girl. This thing you feel for that filthy beast can be more intense but it is not stronger than what you felt for Luke, ok? What you and Luke had was pure, what you're doing now is lusting after a demon. These creatures can be pretty alluring, I will give you that, but you can't possibly believe he really loves you, Ma. These monsters don't see us as their equals so they can't possibly love us. You know that, right?"

That hurt like a bitch but I did know it to be true. I couldn't say it didn't occur to me before.

"I do. I know that but what I know and what I feel have never been so different."

She hugged me again but not a second later I heard her door opening one more time.

"That is enough. I'll get you back to your room."

Demetri stood at the threshold and he was obviously not pleased with the turn of our conversation.

"I just got here."

"I don't care. Let's go."

Natalia and I searched for each other's eyes and reached for each other's hands at the same time, locking our fingers in a desperate attempt to stay together. The guard whose name I didn't know came inside and tore her away from me.

"No!"

I stumbled after her and she kicked and screamed against her captor but soon Demetri held me again and dragged me out of the room, closing the door on our way out. He released me as the door lock clicked shut.

"Your friend is very opinionated, isn't she?" He stood close enough to me that any step forward would make him touch me but he didn't get any closer, he just bent over so that our eyes were at the same level. I shivered but stood my ground. "She should be more careful."

"She is right . None of you see me as an equal, not even Alec."

"She is right," he admitted, "for now."

I'm so fucking lost, I need to get it together.

"What is going to happen to her? I didn't even get to really talk to her, please let me go back inside."

"No, I said enough."

"Then you tell me. Please?"

He sighed and turned his back on me, starting to make his way back to my room.

I daringly tried to open Nat's door before following him, but it was really locked. When I did follow him he was looking at me over his shoulder with one eyebrow raised.

" Come ."

"Sorry. I missed her."

He sighed again and grabbed my wrist, pulling me with him.

Meeting Nat was too brief and chaotic, we barely talked at all. I wanted to push him for answers but didn't want to annoy him any further, so I stayed quiet and kept my head down as he took me back to my room. I longed to know what they intended to do to her but couldn't bring myself to ask. After a few minutes he decided to break the silence.

"You should teach your friend to be more like you. You know your place a little better than she does."

I frowned, offended, but otherwise didn't react.

He seemed to be specially peeved that he had to look after me for someone who didn't think I was too obnoxious so I ventured a guess.

"You don't think I should be kept human for any longer, do you?"

He froze and I took a few more steps before I noticed it and stopped walking as well.

"You really are perceptive."

I had been trying to understand him since I first saw him but it was not as easy with vampires as it was with regular people. I was not used to them and they were generally less open and expressive than humans.

"I'm sorry to be a burden."

I thought his eyes would burn a hole in my face from how hard he stared at me. I grew nervous under his gaze and looked around awkwardly. When I looked back at him he was much closer to me and I jumped, causing him to smile again just like when he opened the door to my room.

"I believe it is unnecessarily dangerous and bothersome to keep you human in this castle for a full week, but Master Aro is adamant. He wants you to get acquainted with him, Master Caius, Master Marcus and the rest of the guard before you are turned. Unfortunately I have been chosen to stand guard by your door."

"Can't you just stay inside my room?"

I noticed a little too late how my words could be perceived and he was quicker to joke about it than I was to correct myself.

"Alec might not approve of whatever activities you have in mind."

I thanked God for my brown skin as it made it harder for anyone to see me blushing.

"I was thinking we could talk, damn" I crossed my arms defensively and he gave me a full, real laugh for the first time.

"And what would we talk about?"

"Whatever you want, I suppose. You're bored so I think any topic would suffice."

He hummed pensively.

"We could talk," he agreed and resumed walking, "but not now. Master Aro awaits you in your room."

I thought I would faint.

" Right now? "

"Yes, right now."

"Why?"

He smirked.

"To talk."

God, just thrown at me like this, no warning or anything .

As we neared my room I thought of how I needed Nat more than ever before. I had been oscillating between fighting Alec and giving into him as my mind and my body fought for control and I needed to rein in my emotions before I lost myself forever. There was too much I still didn't know, there were too many conflicting feelings clouding my judgement, but she was not lost in the midst of that storm. She could save me.

She could be my anchor.