"You were right. The other girl is unpleasant and causes too much trouble."

I heard Demetri's words with little to no surprise. I was not interested in his impressions of Natalia at all but his motivation to think ill of her worried me instantly. She was supposed to meet Marina that day and I immediately thought that whatever she did would make my life harder.

I was right about that as well.

"They met and had a short conversation" he informed me and I could sense the caution in his voice. It was not unusual for him to be relaxed around me and even joke in spite of the difference in our positions within the coven so that alarmed me even more.

"What did they talk about?"

He avoided my eyes as he answered.

"About you for the most part."

As I feared.

He then repeated their conversation to me, which turned my mood sour enough, but then he told me of Marina's encounter with Corin.

"Corin went to see her," I repeated, trying to figure out how to feel about it. "Did Corin also mention me?"

Demetri grew anxious.

"Yes, she did." He hesitated for only a second. "She knows, Marina noticed."

I closed my eyes in frustration.

"Corin didn't tell her," he quickly added, "she just noticed."

"Of course she did."

She was too attentive for her own good. She was also too docile and susceptible to outside influences for her own good, something that hardly bothered me before as I used it to my own advantage, but that was proving to be a nuisance once someone else started to do the same to oppose me. Natalia knew her for longer and possibly a little better, and given her personality she would not go down without a fight.

I knew her choice to be killed was too good to be true. It was an illusion, I was not that lucky. Not like Marina. Marina was the lucky one, the one to whom amazing things simply happen. Natalia was a propulsive force, she made things happen to herself and those around her. She was the one making it all happen from the start, she had been responsible for placing Marina in my path to begin with. She was orchestrating Marina's most decisive life events ever since they met, I could bet on it. It would be convenient to have her removed from the equation but it might be even better to use her in my favour instead.

Could I ever persuade her?

She would never help me willingly, but perhaps I could play my cards well enough to make her help me unknowingly. Perhaps I could sway her and she wouldn't even notice, make her get Marina to want to stay with us and throw her right into my arms.

I decided to talk to her.

"She is not to be hurt too badly" Demetri warned me and I smiled at the specificity.

"A little should be enough for now" I joked. I had no intention of hurting her unless she forced me. "Marina is still talking to Master Aro, I suppose."

Demetri confirmed it and I walked past him to go to Natalia's room. I would rather talk to Marina about Corin first, but that would have to wait. Her conversation with Master Aro could take hours, I had little time to spare before going back to work.

"She is a confused little thing, your human" Demetri commented before I left. "She doesn't even know what she wants, does she? How dangerous that someone so powerful is so lost."

"Immortality will clear her mind."

Demetri shook his head in silence, agreeing with me. Once Marina was no longer human she should have no problems sorting out her thoughts, I just didn't know if that would be a good thing for me. I did not delude myself, I knew she believed herself in love with me mostly because of the unnatural attraction humans felt for my kind. I was as alluring to her as I was to any other human, and any other vampire could lure her in with the same tricks. She had liked me as a friend when we first met and I didn't know how she would feel about me after her transformation.

That notion troubled me constantly.

She was mine for as long as my vampiric charm worked on her, but would she still be mine after she was one of us? Would she still want me the same way? Her prolonged time as a human could be what I needed to secure her. Winning her over permanently could become more difficult after she became a vampire.

I will have her heart. Natalia will give it to me and she can choose to die after that, she will have served her purpose.

There was too much at stake and it all started and ended with Marina. It was already clear at that point that her gift would give us all the advantage over the rest of the vampire world that we craved so much; she had to stay. But we shouldn't force her, she had to be convinced.

I hoped Master Aro would be achieving that with his words as I tried to work with another strategy. As he undoubtedly tried to influence Marina directly I went to Natalia to do it indirectly. It was as if a chess match had started and we were the pieces as well as the players.

It would not be a very easy one, I was prepared for that.


Natalia was still too angry when I went to see her. Her encounter with Marina had left her in a very bad mood.

"We didn't even talk, really. They just took her away when they thought I was talking too much because everything I said was true and all you beasts ever give her are lies."

She did not attempt to attack me again after I numbed her, I gave her a little credit for that. She didn't completely lack a sense of self-preservation, only a little. When I lifted the mist from her she didn't scream and didn't try to hurt me anymore, she simply sat on her bed and began to whine after sulking for a while.

"That's your power, then" she said, trying to sound unimpressed and failing. "You make people feel nothing? Doesn't seem all that useful."

I laughed at her attempt to downplay it.

"I can cover a really large area with it. Besides, I can choose which senses to take away and target specific people within the area covered."

She couldn't hide how impressed she was, it showed on her face like a colourful carp in a crystalline lake. I smiled with satisfaction.

"Nobody here is lying to Marina. If she said anything untruthful to you she came to her conclusions on her own, I am sure."

"Huh, right. You're telling me you never convinced her she is in love with you?"

"I never tried to convince her of that" I guaranteed and she frowned. "I am in love with her so of course I tried to make her reciprocate my feelings, but I never tricked her into it."

Well, that is a lie but I don't suppose she can tell.

"Are you even in love with her, really? I don't buy that. All of you vampires see humans as less than you, you can't even feel for her that way. You treat us as pets at best."

I considered her words and had to admit that she was right. I couldn't bring myself to see her or even Marina as anything more than inferior creatures, no matter how promising they were. They were just that: promises for the future. In the present they were hardly worthy of our attention or affection.

Still, I knew myself to be obsessed with Marina. I wanted her even in her human state and could not stop thinking of how much she promised for our future, as my mate and as part of the coven. I knew I could genuinely love her if only she was a vampire, and she would be one very soon. My heart was already in the future, I was in love with who I knew she would become.

"Don't pretend to know anything about me or my feelings. You don't get to question my love for her."

She scoffed and crossed her arms. I had prepared for her hostility but I had underestimated her. Whenever I had watched her interact with Marina and her other friends she had seemed silly and superficial, she was proving to be much smarter than I ever gave her credit for.

"I know you act harshly because you are concerned with Marina's safety" I continued in a tone I hoped would appease her, "but you don't really have to antagonise any of us. Everyone here has Marina's best interests in mind."

"I see things a little better than she does, demon boy. I am not blinded by your 'irresistible charm'" she mocked, using my own words from earlier. "You and your people want something very important from her, that is the only reason why you treat her so well. It is probably the only reason why I am still here, alive. I bet you don't even like her as you say you do, you just want her to believe you love her to make her stay here and work for you."

She was partially right, which surprised me, and although she was wrong in her other assumption I could see how she came to that conclusion.

"I am not pretending to love her, you don't have to worry about it."

She blinked confusedly.

"Are you telling me you are incapable of that?"

Now, that was very funny.

"I am in no way saying that. I am perfectly capable of that and much worse, all I am saying is that it is not what I am doing to her. I do love her, in my own way."

The look on her face was hilarious.

"Wow. Ok, that seemed honest. Props." She looked down and I revelled in my little victory. "What exactly do you mean by 'in your own way'? Do you love her enough to let her walk away from here?"

That was a very difficult terrain to navigate. I took a little time to choose my next words, they could grant me my success in that little endeavour or be my downfall.

"I love her enough to want the best for her. As it is right now, the best for her is to stay here."

Natalia shifted in her position on her bed and I asked myself for the first time if I was unsettling her by standing for so long. The most logical alternative would be to sit by her side on the bed but I figured that would unsettle her even more, so stayed where I was and sat on the floor. She seemed to relax slightly at that.

"This is the situation, Natalia" I began to explain in my best friendly tone. "Marina is here because we need her. She is crucial to us, so we took her from her life and offered her a new one. We will not force her to stay here, we want her to feel welcome. She can refuse the position in the coven, but she cannot refuse immortality. Now that she knows of our existence she cannot be allowed to leave the castle as a human and her death would simply destroy me."

Natalia didn't say anything when I paused, she merely raised her eyebrows and waited for me to continue.

" You on the other hand are here only because you discovered our secret. You are collateral damage, we did not want you. Jane saw a little something in you but it is not enough to guarantee you a place here, and even if you managed to be accepted you would not be nearly as important as Marina, Jane or me. You would be a very low ranked guard if that much."

She fidgeted with her hair.

"But here is the thing: Marina is important enough to us that the kings are willing to let you stay here with her if you wish. You can still choose to die if that is what you really want, but you can choose to stay by her side. If you choose to do that, you will be treated as any other guard of your rank and you would be allowed to live nearby while Marina would live here in the castle. You would get to stay with her forever. It's your choice."

I could almost hear the engines working in her head. I knew exactly where her thoughts were going, I didn't need to read minds in order to do that.

She would not want to leave Marina alone with us, she would consider that as abandoning her friend. She would want to be with Marina and she would try to turn her against us. She would attempt it without raising any suspicion.

Any of us could see right through her but she would try nonetheless.

"What is it that you need her for? What can she do?"

I couldn't possibly tell her everything in that regard. Marina herself was only just learning of how much we needed her.

"As you should know by now we uphold the law in our world. Because of that it is of the utmost importance that we are undefeatable, so we are always looking for powerful vampires to join us. Marina happens to be very powerful though we can't be sure of exactly how much as long as she is human."

"So you need her for battles?"

"Essentially, yes."

She seemed to process that for a moment.

"Ok, that is not a really evil motive or anything" she conceded, "but you are still evil. Even if you killed Luke because he knew your secret you still took pleasure in it. And then you took pleasure in seeing me suffer when you told me. I don't even believe you were merciful to him at all, I bet you were awful to him because you were jealous."

Annoyingly correct once more .

I started to regret my decision to talk her into being on my side. She worried about such small things and focused so much on them that I suddenly felt like killing her so she wouldn't be an obstacle to me.

"I did have my fun when I informed you of his death, but it was hardly gratuitous. You were misbehaving."

" Misbehaving . Sure, like I'm a child."

"To us, you are "

She huffed and childishly looked away with her face scrunched up in displeasure as if to prove my point.

"I am not perfect and I am not human, but that does not mean I am not good. You can't judge me by your human parameters, it is unfair."

She didn't have an answer to that.

Would she believe she was being unfair to me? Marina had done just that, but then again Marina was soft and tame while Natalia was anything but either. I didn't think she was above rebelling for the sake of it so I didn't count on my victory too much.

"I guess I will stay with her" she decided, "and I could give you a second chance. If you really care for Marina we at least have that in common, and maybe you are really not that bad."

Her heart was beating furiously fast. She was lying through her teeth.

I smiled and pretended to fall for her act.

"Thank you, Natalia. Maybe you are also not as bad as I believed."

Maybe you are also not as smart as I thought.

I had to thread carefully. I didn't know exactly how close they were and how well they knew each other. Natalia couldn't possibly outsmart me in any normal situation but Marina was not guided by logic, she was driven by emotion. If she had to choose between us I didn't like my odds very much but I could make Natalia sabotage herself.

I would use Natalia to beat her at her own game and winning would be even sweeter.

Marina was asleep when I entered her room. After I spoke to her friend I had to work for a while and she was still with Master Aro, so I only met her several hours later.

I sat on her bed and took the liberty to touch her face. She was breathing slowly and softly but I could tell she was not deeply asleep. She could wake up at any moment and yet I couldn't keep my hands to myself when I saw her resting so serenely. I traced her features with the tips of my fingers and watched as she moved in response, trailing down to her neck to feel her pulse and imagining myself closing my hands around it as lightly as I could to see her gasping for air without truly hurting her. I wondered if she would like it, I imagined her begging me for more.

Oh God, I hope she lets me. I hope she loves it.

She turned her head, still asleep, as if to offer her neck to me. I instinctively lowered my head to touch it with my lips and when she didn't wake up I risked sliding my tongue from the soft curve of her shoulder up to her jaw. I moaned softly and the sound was too close to her ear. Her hands went up to my face and she almost opened her eyes.

I stopped and waited to see if she was awake, but she wasn't. Her hands slid down and fell back on the mattress and I lifted her shirt to trace her ribs. Her skin was so thin and fragile against her bones that I feared I would rip it in a moment of distraction, but then I wished I did. I longed to make her bleed again. I could still see the red lines of my nails across her belly, it would take so little to reopen the wounds...

I couldn't possibly do it there, not inside the castle.

I put my hands over her body, my thumbs right underneath her breasts, and felt as they went up and down as she breathed. I could feel how her ribcage would move as she inhaled and exhaled, her heartbeat like the wings of a bird encaged in her bones, and the desire to choke her to watch her fight for oxygen grew in me. I pushed it to the back of my mind and went down to brush my lips against her skin, feeling the warmth she emanated. I would miss it, if only a little. I would also miss having her so vulnerable to me as she was in that moment and how easy it was to subdue her and make her squirm. Maybe I could find other ways to do that after her transformation.

Maybe I would enjoy having her do it to me instead.

A murmur brought me back from my contemplation.

"Alec?"

I sat up to meet her eyes in time to see her opening them.

She tried to sit up as well and I moved away so she could do it. She looked at me with confusion.

"I thought I felt you licking my neck."

"You did."

" What ?"

"You looked so peaceful, I couldn't help myself."

She touched her neck and as she confirmed it was wet her eyes widened.

"I was asleep. "

I laughed and she noticed her shirt was lifted. The realisation seemed to appal her.

"Do you have the habit of touching me this freely when I am unconscious?"

Not nearly as much as I would like.

"No, I do not. But you are so very much at my mercy here in the castle, it is too tempting."

"That is a terrifying thought, thank you for the sleepless nights I will definitely have from now on."

I smiled but the irony of her words was lost on her, she was too distracted by what I had done.

"You're mad at me."

" Of course I am. You were touching me as I slept, I was in my most vulnerable state. I can't even do the same to you so you know how awful it feels."

The same question occurred to both of us at the same time.

Can't you?

"Or could I?"

She could. She paralysed me right then, so much faster than I had ever seen her do to a vampire before that it caught me by surprise. She threw herself at me without hesitation, certainly thinking of how brief her influence on me would be, and sat on my lap. Her hands grabbed fistfuls of my hair and she slowly licked my cheek. Her power stopped working on me long before she finished but I couldn't move, paralysed by shock instead.

She looked me in the eyes and I could almost see the fire burning behind them.

"If I wasn't human you could be dead by now."

Having her on my lap right on her bed and hearing that after she licked me could have killed me and I wouldn't have minded.

I took a deep breath and allowed her to go back to her spot on the bed, away from me. I touched my wet cheek and she watched with pride as I mimicked her previous movements.

Just like her attack in that alley, so unpredictable.

"I see your point," I said, still breathing somewhat irregularly, "but I don't think I can say I didn't enjoy it."

I did, because it was her. Anyone else doing that would have scared me. I couldn't move for a moment and felt truly vulnerable, it was an unfamiliar feeling.

"Just because it was me. Someone else should give you a scare."

"No one else could, my dear."

She crossed her arms and her legs and leaned back on the wall behind her bed. I couldn't quite tell if she was bothered solely by what I had done or if anything that happened before I went to her had any part in her defensive manner.

"Aro said that Natalia chose to die. Where is she?"

So that is your biggest concern.

"She changed her mind."

"She did? Really?"

"Yes. I talked to her."

She uncrossed her arms, taken by disbelief. She leaned forward and frowned, and I almost leaned forward as well to try and touch her again.

"You made her change her mind?" I nodded to confirm it and her frown deepened. "I didn't think you would like her."

"I don't. I did it for you."

"Oh."

I tentatively reached for her hand and she inched away from me.

"You come and go like the sea, Marina. I wish you knew what you want."

"I know what I want" she differed, "I just wish I didn't want it."

"That is a waste of time. If you know what you want and you can just have it then fighting it is pointless."

"I'm sorry that I have morals."

"Do you, really? Or do you just wish you had them?"

Her mouth fell open and she stood up indignantly.

"Wow. I can't believe I had to hear that."

I laughed and walked over to her and though she didn't step back I could tell she was scared. I held her face between my hands and she shivered.

"We are so alike. We are " I insisted when it seemed that she would disagree. "That is why we liked each other when we met. Have you forgotten?" She didn't answer but it was out of stubbornness. "We have very similar personalities, we respond to things in such similar ways. You just don't want to accept it."

I see myself in you so clearly, you must see it too.

I know she did and that it horrified her.

"I want to see Natalia again" she said to avoid the subject at hand and I smiled.

"You can do it tomorrow," I promised. "Stay with me now."

She put her hands on top of mine and I remembered our moment in the church so many weeks before, when I held her face like that after she tried to comfort me. I missed how fearlessly she would touch me then, so frequently and carelessly. I wanted her to revert to not being so scared of me.

"I do like you so much" she whispered and my heart nearly started to beat again. "It's just that all of this is a lot. After everything Aro told me it all feels even more overwhelming than before and I was already having such a hard time. You are all expecting too much of me, I am not going to live up to your expectations. Even if I do it is still so much responsibility."

I asked her how much Master Aro had told her. I wondered how honest he would have decided to be with her and of what they talked about.

"He talked for hours. He taught me about this coven, talked about you and Jane and your gifts, talked about everyone else's gifts. Then he told me what you were doing when you found me, he talked about the Cullens."

"So you do now know exactly why we want you so much."

She shook her head and I released her, letting her sit back on her bed.

"I don't think I will be nearly as formidable as you all seem to think I will be."

She is worried .

"You already are. You don't have to be afraid of disappointing anyone. You will only get stronger with the transformation and after that you can train your gift so you can improve it too."

She successfully used her gift on a room full of very powerful vampires while still human and she thinks she will not be powerful enough to satisfy the masters, it is almost comical.

"But you might need to work on your fighting skills if you are this docile as a vampire."

She snorted.

"I will kick your ass into the next century."

I can't wait.

"I'll kick Corin's ass too if she wants to keep fucking you."

I could have fainted if I was human. She smirked as she saw my expression.

"I wasn't going to say anything but Demetri scolded me, so let's talk about that ."

Her cheerfulness terrified me.