warning: violence, blood, mention of r*pe.
A hundred different things passed through my head as I heard her words. I thought about how it could work, I thought about what that would mean for her in the guard, I thought about how the kings felt about it. Feeling a little guilty, I wondered if that made her more important than me in the end and quickly pushed that treacherous feeling aside.
Nat sighed dramatically and her shoulders sagged. She didn't look happy about her newfound ability, much on the contrary, and I couldn't understand why. It seemed like she saw it as a huge burden.
"Seriously? That's pretty awesome, how come you look all sour about it?"
She looked at me with a tortured expression and it was crushing. A faint, smothering feeling echoed through my chest, something so strong and awful that it crossed all the barriers the transformation put up in my head and punched me in the gut with astounding force. She looked at me so haunted that it reminded me of the way she had crumbled down when her father died.
"Fuck, what is it? What do you know?" I started to freak out, exactly like she had asked me not to. "Do you have visions, like Alice Cullen?"
Nat furrowed her brow. " That's how she does it? Wow, that's so Raven, am I right?" she chuckled but I couldn't do the same. She noticed my straight face and her smile disappeared.
"Alright, this is how it works;" she started cautiously, resting her hands on the table in front of us.
"I don't see or hear anything. I just… know. It's horrible to explain, so maybe you won't get it at all, but it's like there is a map in my head. Or rather, a tree. But instead of seeing it like a picture, I feel it. If something dangerous has a high chance of happening to me or someone close to me, I can tell. I can sense all the most probable outcomes of said event too, like branches of that tree."
"Nat, that sounds really cool but I sincerely still have no idea of what you're trying to explain," I interrupted her, feeling too confused to let her go on. Her fingers drummed against the table.
"Okay, let me give you an example. Earlier today I knew that Corin wanted to go see you and warned Alec to keep her away because I knew that three things could happen if she did that: most likely, you would behead her. Second most likely outcome, you would need to be restrained by Jane. Less likely, you would behave."
"I did behave, though," I protested with a pout and she petted my head condescendingly. I pretended to try biting her and she laughed weakly.
"Yeah, yeah, but it's all about taking chances, right? I knew the odds, not exactly what would happen. Those things are subjective, after all, we can only know so much."
"So you can only tell the future if it's threatening?"
She shrugged. "So far it seems like it, yeah. But according to Aro - oh, excuse me - Master Aro, it's 'just what we need', so that is an upside and not a downside as far as I understood."
"Is that why you only went to see me after Corin left?"
She looked a little embarrassed though her words contradicted that.
"Well, can you blame me?"
I laughed, and she smiled again.
"Yeah, I suppose not. What got you so troubled, though?"
Her face fell one more time and she cleared her throat nervously, a human habit that seemed to have survived the flames of her rebirth. Her countenance was shadowed by the darkness of her worries and I knew right away that whatever she needed to discuss was not just something truly bad, but also something that would fall heavily on our shoulders… or at least on hers, if only for knowing it.
"Nat, you're scaring me."
"I'm sorry. I just… It's a lot of responsibility."
Yeah, tell me about it.
"Before I really tell you anything, I wanted to know what the Cullens are like."
I stopped to think about it, a little surprised by the request.
"They were nice, I guess. Took me in, fed me and everything."
"Yeah, yeah. Right. Think a little harder, please. You talked to them, right? About the Volturi. I seriously need to know your opinion on that subject, specifically."
That was trickier. I tried hard to remember any specific conversation, but even without changing into a vampire I wouldn't be able to remember anything word by word. Could I remember what I thought of them when we had the conversation she was talking about?
"Ok, let me think. I talked to a guy that had an ability to sense other people's gifts… uhm, he used to be a guard. He said… something about war and… Jesus, this is difficult."
Nat groaned impatiently and blew her hair away from her face.
"Yeah, sorry, but I need your opinion on this. It has to be you, you're the only person I actually trust that has ever met them. Do you think they want to overthrow the Volturi?"
"Oh! Right, that's what the conversation was about!" I got very excited to remember that, but Nat just rolled her eyes.
"I know," she said tiredly. "What do you think? The kings think they have such a large coven full of gifted people because their leader - Carlisle, he is called - wants to turn on us to usurp the power."
Hearing her say " us" when talking about the Volturi was a little weird, but I forced myself to ignore that so I could fish out my memories of my visit to Alaska. However, that visit was so short and so chaotic that I didn't know if I could trust any memory at all.
"They said that they have no interest in that, but I guess anyone would say such a thing if confronted. You want to know if I believe them."
She shook her head affirmatively.
I tugged at my fuzzy memories, trying to remember the man's words, but I couldn't even remember his name.
"Why do you want to know that? What is about to happen?"
Natalia averted her eyes and started to play with a strand of her long hair, stalling her answer. She met my eyes again. "The Cullens, they have been threading the line for a while. Apparently, besides living with humans and pretending to be one of them they all keep in touch with Bella's human parents and her father knows about the shapeshifters. It's not really knowing about vampires, but it's pretty shady. He knows about the supernatural and he has to have noticed that his daughter and her new family are not getting older, and that his granddaughter grew up way too quickly… the kings have been pondering if things like that are a breach of the law."
"If they disrespect the law, what does it matter if they are nice people or not? Or if they are not planning a coup?" I suddenly remembered some words, said more than once by different people while I stayed in Alaska. "I mean, they did say that all they wanted was to live in peace with their loved ones, but just because they don't want to declare war to steal the thrones does it mean that they can do whatever they want?"
Nat flinched, becoming agitated by my words. "That's not what I meant, not even close. Of course not. There is just a lot at stake. I have been thinking and it seems that they keep doing that, from what I've been told. They are probably really confident in their ability to win against the Volturi and they just do whatever they want, you know? They have their own standards of what is breaking the law or not, like they get to decide that. But now there is you and that changes everything, which is why I need us to be very sure of where we stand."
"Why would I change everything?"
I could see then, why she looked so fucking haunted. As soon as she said that I felt the whole world on my shoulders.
"This is the map right now." She started to walk and I followed her into the maze of heavily occupied rows of bookshelves, nervous beyond belief. We passed by the old, battered volumes hand in hand, looking for comfort in each other. She whispered her next words once we put more distance between us and the doors where Jane was ordered to wait, undoubtedly trying to keep at least part of our conversation really private. "Caius wants to go back to confront the Cullens now that you're a vampire and Aro is enthusiastically on board. Thing is, the 'crime' they have is just them letting humans notice they don't age… like Bella's father almost knowing the secret, and something about a guy making them fake documents for decades also noticing they don't get old? Anyway, out of the many results I have been getting, the only real chance of a battle ending well for us is if you go and use your gift on the Cullens and their folks. Are you following?"
I was certainly trying to, but that was quite a lot to unpack. I remembered the fake documents I had received when they took me to the airport.
I whispered my words as well, aware that our chat could get very dangerous very easily and that Jane was paying close attention. "That seems more than enough, you don't think so? They keep dealing with humans and letting them notice that they don't get older, that sounds bad enough to me."
But just as I said the words it dawned on me. Why she was so worried.
"You don't sense danger in any of those guys knowing, do you?"
She shook her head no.
"But the kings still want to attack, " I guessed, and she shook her head yes that time.
Damn. Way to make it obvious that it is not about justice.
"It doesn't mean that there is no danger. So far I can only tell when I am directly involved," she reminded me.
"But if the secret got out, all vampires would be in danger. And you are a vampire."
"That might not be direct enough. We can't be sure."
I stopped walking and closed my eyes. Could vampires get headaches? I almost felt like I was about to have one.
"Marina, this implicates a whole lot of people. The Cullens, their extended family, anyone that chooses to stand with them, the shapeshifters, the humans that kind of know… we have to be pretty damn sure of where we stand in this. You're gonna tip the scale pretty damn hard."
"There is no way I would make that much of a difference." Did I have that conversation before?
She sighed heavily. "Trust me on that one."
I trusted Nat with my own life, that was out of the question. Still, that notion was absolutely alien to me. It was true that I had no idea of how far I could extend my gift or how many people I could hold under it, but in order for what she said to be true I would have to stretch it incredibly far and affect dozens of people. I couldn't wrap my head around it and told her so.
"Not necessarily. If you bring Bella's shield down they would only need Alec and we already know his gift goes that far," she reminded me, sounding very bitter about how powerful Alec was.
That was true, of course. And then it struck me how closely Alec and I would keep working due to the nature of our gifts. I could stop his targets so that his mist could reach them, he could affect their minds while I affected their bodies, and he could help me focus as he did earlier that day. A horrible thought went back to me.
How… convenient that we are romantically involved. How suspicious.
It could just be Fate, I told myself. I really wanted to believe that.
"So you're worried that I would make all that difference while not being sure if we're doing the right thing?"
She glanced at the direction of the doors, looking ready to have a nervous breakdown.
"I just want to be one hundred percent sure of what we're getting into. There is so much depending on you, so many people could die. Forever is a very long time to be haunted by a wrong decision of this magnitude, y'know?"
"You sound so very sure of how your gift works." When I heard myself I noticed the obvious jealousy in my voice and felt awful.
"I've been awake longer," she reminded me. "Also, mine is not offensive. Aro can just touch me and experience it first-hand."
I nodded absentmindedly. Made sense.
Then another memory punched me and I held her hand again, a little too strongly. She gasped but I ignored it.
"I'm sorry that I left you behind."
She had the nerve to laugh.
"Marina, I would have kicked you in the face if you came back or got caught waiting for me." She flicked my nose and I slapped her hand away playfully. "It doesn't matter now anyway, we're here. We're staying. Let's just roll with it."
I wished life was all that easy.
"Let's also try not to enforce tyranny, yeah?" She half-joked and I knew she would have said it in a serious tone if not for our one-girl audience.
I then realised Nat and I were fundamentally different and our perceptions of that dilemma diverged drastically. She was primarily worried that we were choosing to play a significant part in a fight that could unfairly end the lives of many righteous people. People that, in her eyes, deserved better than that.
I just hoped to be on the winning side.
I told her I would think really well about it and she seemed to get reasonably chiller about the whole thing, even if I didn't get to convince her that if the Cullens got another visit from the kings they would have brought it upon themselves. No fight broke out the last time, though, I reminded her.
"Look how well that turned out," she countered sarcastically. "A reputation in shambles and a decade looking for someone that would guarantee nothing that disgraceful could ever happen again."
I couldn't argue with that.
Jane decided to go back inside the library at that moment, which told me she was definitely listening into our conversation.
"If you two are done, Alec is still waiting for you," she told me like she didn't know exactly what we were talking about.
"Yeah, right. I'll get going."
I didn't want to leave Nat so soon, and I was still ravenous for information on her thing with Felix, but our time was cut short once again as per usual.
"We are not finished talking about everything ," I warned her before I followed Jane out of there. She lifted her chin and smiled smugly, knowing she got away just as she wanted.
Only for the time being!
"See ya later!" She waved enthusiastically before I turned my back on her.
The door closed with a soft thud and Jane raced back to her room. I kept close to her, running just as fast, until we reached a corridor illuminated by a few solitary sun rays coming from sparse openings in the ceiling. I baulked and Jane stopped to look at me when she noticed I wasn't following her anymore.
"What is the matter?"
My eyes went from the sunlight to her questioningly. We were not completely covered, not even her with her grey cloak. Her legs were exposed under her short skirt and the hood of her cloak was lowered, which meant her face was unprotected as well. Yet, she had made no move to protect herself from the light before entering the corridor.
"Won't we… burn?"
I had no idea if vampires actually burnt under sunlight, but ever since meeting real vampires I had always seen them avoiding the sun. I had assumed that this part of the myth was true, like drinking blood also was.
But Jane just stared at me like I grew a second head and then burst into laughter.
"Huh, guess not. Never mind."
She took a few more seconds laughing at me, then she shook her head incredulously.
"It didn't occur to me that you didn't know yet!" She said in a better mood than I had seen her in a while. She took my hand and dragged me to the closer sunlit spot. "Go on, put your hand under it."
I eyed her suspiciously, wondering if this was not her way of "resolving" our problems, as she had called it before. Would she trick me like that to get back at me for running away?
"Oh, come on! Here, let me show you."
She put her own small hand under the light and it sparkled like it was made of diamonds.
" Whoa. "
I stared at it with awe and finally let my own hand be hit by the sun. It sparkled in the same way.
"Fuck, that is why vampires hide from the sun? Jesus, I would never have guessed."
Jane laughed again. "How incredible that you didn't know yet. And to believe the sun would actually hurt us! So very silly…"
I was offended but didn't voice my dissatisfaction. It's not like I could just know everything from that brand new world without being told or seeing stuff! It was a good thing that Jane got in a good mood, though. Maybe she would forget about being mad at me.
When we reached her room Alec was standing with a book in his hand, waiting for us. Jane excitedly told him about my slip as soon as we set foot inside and they took a few more moments laughing at me right in my face.
"How adorable ," Alec mocked me, pinching my cheeks in the most patronising way he could accomplish. "I can't believe I missed that."
I slapped his hands away, embarrassed to death. "Shut up. It was an honest mistake."
I had a feeling that in no time the entire castle would have heard about it.
"Of course it was," he said condescendingly, "and not your last one for sure."
Jane giggled and I tried not to cuss them both. Alec handed me a sheet of paper.
"Your timetable," he explained. "You won't have much to do for now, mostly working on your gift. You won't be included in our regular chores or in missions until you get a cloak."
I checked the paper and saw that he was right, there was almost nothing there. The times set for each activity were also quite far apart.
"And how long will that take?"
He shrugged. "It depends a lot on how much progress you make and how quickly you make it. A few weeks, a few years… perhaps a few decades."
Damn, a few decades? That's… quite some time.
At least for me, it was.
"We got ours in ten years," Jane said matter-of-factly.
"Natalia will get hers much sooner," Alec added, "there is usually little to be done regarding non-offensive gifts. Hers is already quite impressive as it is…"
I couldn't help but notice that he too sounded bitter recognising how powerful she turned out to be, just like she wasn't happy in admitting the extent of his power.
How fun to be in between them, I thought to myself.
"So for a while I will kind of be on a trial period?"
"Not exactly. It will be more of an adjusting period. Your permanence is not conditioned on your results, only your position."
"Will you break up with me if I rank too low?"
I said it as a joke but he didn't laugh.
"Don't be absurd. You won't rank low."
"That does not answer my question at all."
"Yes, Marina, he will leave you for Corin in that case." Jane chimed in and watched the horror on my face with sadistic pleasure.
Alec merely rolled his eyes.
"Do not add fuel to that fire just yet, sister."
I will add fuel to the fire where I will burn that bitch if they keep testing me.
Jane gave me one last challenging smile before taking her cloak off and going to her private room. Just then it occurred to me to ask about my own room.
"You'll be here with me, of course," Alec said like it was obvious.
"But… you already share. With Jane."
Jane spoke from her seclusion. "I don't mind!"
I stared and stared at Alec, almost feeling the gears in my head squeak in protest with the effort to process that. He stared back in silence, a neutral expression in place.
"No, no way. I can't share with you both ."
"Why not?" He sounded genuinely confused and I wanted to shake him. Were they both having fun at my expense again?
"Because it's weird ."
He continued to look at me like he had no idea of what I was talking about.
Jane spoke again through her doors.
"It does not matter if you two stay here or down the hallway, I can hear it anyway."
Realisation flashed through Alec's face immediately and he smirked. "Oh, so that is your concern. Jane is right, it doesn't make a difference."
"Maybe I should stay somewhere else for now. I could have my old room, perhaps?"
"Nonsense. You should stay with me, obviously."
I didn't want to. I felt incredibly weirded out by the prospect of sharing rooms with Jane, even if just a part of it, but to share with the both of them was definitely too much.
"You shared rooms with Natalia," Alec pointed out.
"She is like a sister to me."
Jane made her way back to the common area, huffing impatiently. " I could be like a sister to you if you'd let me." She crossed her arms and glared at me, a sight that would be adorable if I didn't know just how dangerous it was to cross her. "And if you stopped being so bothersome."
"I need time."
They looked at each other, surely using some type of twin telepathy, making me all the more uncomfortable.
"Very well," Jane conceded, "we'll see if you can stay somewhere else for a while."
I breathed out with relief but Alec looked every bit the upset teenager that was denied something nice. I passed my hands through his hair and smiled to try and soothe him. "Don't be so spoiled."
He closed his eyes and sighed, leaning into my touch. "You keep trying to get away from me."
"You snatched me away, you're lucky I'm here at all."
His eyes snapped open and darkened dangerously. I regretted my candour once again, but he soon relaxed and smiled mischievously.
"You never even wanted to get away from me, not really."
I didn't have a comeback for that.
The guard in charge of helping me with my gift turned out to be Alec.
I was not even surprised.
"Our gifts work similarly," he reasoned, "I was the obvious choice."
That resulted in the both of us spending an alarming amount of time together, which would have resulted in little practice and a lot of distraction if we were not being - for lack of better word - chaperoned by Demetri of all people.
It was obvious as I attended my first practice session that the tale of my hilarious mistake had spread like wildfire through the castle. Every time I turned on a corridor to follow Alec I was greeted by someone holding up a cross as if to ward me off, or with a sprinkle of water that the jester would say to be holy while asking me if my skin was burning. It happened a handful of times and Alec would take great delight in watching these people tease me, and eagerly laughed along at my expense. When we reached our destination Felix pretended to attack me with a wooden stake and Alec laughed so hard and so loud that half a dozen transitory guards went to see what was happening.
"It was an honest mistake!" I repeated, that time yelling exasperatedly. Felix and all the other guards joined in the laughing fit and I would have burnt up with my embarrassment if I was still human. I crossed my arms and tried to ignore them, walking into the room, but Alec wouldn't let it go so easily. He held me with one arm around my back and continued with the jokes.
"You were so lucky my mirror was not silvered. Couldn't have seen yourself in it then, could you?"
What a bastard.
I spent my first days trying to get a better hold of my gift, to make it work farther and for longer. Alec had other things to do in between these sessions and I was granted another room temporarily, though Aro didn't seem very happy to hear that I didn't want to share Alec's room with him.
"For the time being, perhaps… but in the future I hope you will reconsider that decision?"
Nat was by his side, as she mostly was ever since becoming a vampire, and quickly offered her hand. After taking it with a feather-like touch he smiled warmly at me.
"I see. I will have a new room assigned to you, Marina. Not the same one you had, if you don't mind."
"I don't mind at all. Thank you, Master."
The word fell so naturally from my lips that I didn't even notice I had said it until his eyes shimmered and his smile broadened.
I was adjusting alright.
Nat, on the other hand, was not adjusting so easily. We both needed to feed more frequently than the rest of the vampires living in the castle and were not allowed to feed with them or with each other, and with the fact that Aro wanted to keep her close to him as much as possible I took a while to know she was struggling with that.
As the days went by we managed to be in each other's company more and more, though rarely alone. Actually, never truly alone, but a few times whoever was listening in would at least not be in sight as to give us the illusion of privacy. I quite liked to meet her in the library, though she preferred the gardens. We were in her favoured place when she told me.
"It's too damn hard to drink the blood."
I frowned and stared at her but she didn't elaborate, instead looking at the nearest flowers. I followed her eyes to see a few beautiful yellow roses.
"How do you do it?" She asked me and it just confused me more.
"I don't know what you mean. I just… bite. And then drink. And make a bloody mess, literally."
She rubbed her hands together, visibly uncomfortable. "Well, yeah, but they… like, they fight you, don't they? They scream, and beg, and cry?"
Oh, she feels bad about it.
It took me enough time and effort to even think of such a possibility that I felt like a heinous monster. Shouldn't it be obvious that something like that would bother her?
Shouldn't it be troubling me too?
Suddenly uncomfortable as well, and for a very different reason, I cautiously answered her.
"They do… I just don't think about it."
More like you don't care, you conscienceless vicious bitch.
Was that what I had become, an unscrupulous monster? As opposed to the "good" vampires that drank from animals and lived among humans?
Nat seemed to be fighting with herself and slowly getting to that conclusion. She couldn't understand how I didn't feel for the humans we killed.
"They feel like food," I explained but it sounded weak even to myself. She shook her head.
"They're people, all of them. They die in pain, terrified…"
I sighed, knowing that there was no way out of her guilt. I saw where it was coming from and where it would go before she even formed her argument.
"Nat, there is no such a thing as a vegan vampire," I reminded her. "Even if you don't drink from humans you still need blood. You could kill animals instead, but would that make you feel much better?"
Her eyes were filled with pure gut-wrenching pain as she took in my words.
"Yeah. I might not have thought this through."
I hugged her and murmured my suggestion against her hair, knowing it was not much help. "When we're older we can kill them quickly before drinking. Terror minimised."
She stepped away, eyes still full of sorrow.
It was really not much help.
"I keep thinking, though. The animal drinkers… you've met them, so maybe you remember if they are… nicer?"
"Nicer than…?"
Neither of us wanted to outright say it, but I understood her well enough. Are the animal drinkers nicer and kinder than these people we ended up living with, she wanted to ask.
"I don't remember," I lied. I very much didn't want to discuss something like that inside the castle, but Nat was either oblivious or couldn't sense any immediate danger because she insisted.
"Well, I mean, other vampires - even human drinkers - they are not all like… these ones?"
Fuck, Nat, are you trying to get me in trouble on purpose?
She can tell the future if it's dangerous, I repeated to myself a few times in my head. It's fine, or she wouldn't be talking about it.
"I honestly don't know. Haven't met any others."
I was somewhat glad for my ignorance.
Nat hummed but was obviously not satisfied by my answer. I felt uneasy about the things that worried her and feared that her train of thought would eventually drive her away from Volterra, and she would leave me there all by myself with the very people she disapproved of.
I decided to turn the conversation to a lighter topic, not even trying to be subtle, partially to distract her from those topics but also because I was still too goddamn curious. I whispered, knowing there were always ears around and at least one pair actively listening to us. "If you don't tell me what is going on between you and Felix I swear to God that I am going to implode. You're going to see it on the news tomorrow, 'fofoca mal contada mata fofoqueira'. Spill!"
She threw her head back and laughed carelessly. It was amazing to see her doing that again.
"Well, let me prevent your tragic death then!"
She told me what happened between them ever since she first set foot inside the castle, glossing over her human memories because she didn't remember that part very well. She had his version of what happened and what he felt when they met and that filled up a few holes.
"We're… getting to know each other," she concluded.
"Did you two kiss?"
"Don't be so loud!" She punched my arm and looked around, alarmed. I slapped her hand away and laughed at her panic.
"Tell me or I'm gonna ask him."
Her eyes widened. "You wouldn't dare ."
I smiled defiantly. For some reason, teasing her felt like payback.
"I bet you two kiss all the time. I bet you fuck all the time."
"Marina, I am going to tackle you!"
The threat only made me laugh harder. I pretended to start leaving the garden. "I'm gonna go ask him if you are a good fuck."
She tackled me. We fell to the ground and I laughed all the way down.
"Over my ashes!" She roared comically.
God, I missed this.
The next time I had to feed it went as usual. I had it scheduled for me in my time table and Heidi would take me to the dungeons and call the clean-up crew once I was finished. I would get three humans every four days for a while and then less and more far apart as I got older, she had told me. One day I would be ready to feed once a week with everyone else, and so would Nat.
That day, however, Heidi was not waiting for me alone. Like the first time I fed, Alec was waiting with her.
I was not so dirty that time around, thankfully.
He smiled excitedly as I came out and I felt a thrill wondering what he could be doing there.
"I have a surprise for you," he said with that bright smile. I found myself smiling back, suddenly excited too.
"Why? Is this a special day?"
His smile turned into a smirk and he held my hand to take me away. "Are you not keeping track of the date or have you forgotten that much about yourself?"
"The date?"
I hadn't been keeping track of the date, actually, but I also wasn't giving much thought to most things regarding my human life during those first days as a vampire. It was difficult to remember stuff anyway, so I wasn't bothering all that much. But when Alec said that I realised I didn't remember my surnames.
"Damn… I don't remember my name!"
He chuckled, tugging me along to wherever it was that he had the surprise for me. "Your name is Marina, surely you have noticed by now? Everyone calls you by that name."
I always felt like punching him when he treated me like I was stupid.
"You know I meant my surnames."
He stopped in front of a plain door, still deep down in the lower levels of the castle, and continued to smile at me. "This has nothing to do with your family name, so right now that information is quite irrelevant." I opened my mouth to fight him but he rested a finger on my lips to silence my protests. "Do you know which day it is?"
"It's the end of April?"
"Yes, my dear, indeed. It's the 27th." He said it like it should mean something to me and I couldn't be sure because I didn't actually remember it, but the fact that he mentioned the date while having some surprise for me was telling enough.
"It's my birthday," I guessed with bewilderment.
"It's your birthday," he echoed in confirmation. "You are not turning twenty-one, you've stopped ageing. Still, I have been feeling that you are keeping some distance from me and thought that perhaps it is because you still resent me." He put a hand on the doorknob as he explained and I got confused.
"What do I resent you for?"
He didn't answer, instead unlocking the door.
"You're well fed, yes?" He asked before opening the door. "You will probably want to take your time with this one."
My face scrunched up with sheer confusion but I shook my head to answer him. Though the burning never truly ceased I was satisfied enough to go a few days without blood again.
But he had another human there for me?
I focused for a moment and sure enough, I could hear a heartbeat and smell human blood nearby. My whole body tensed, but with some effort I forced myself to get out of attacking mode.
He got inside the room, pulling me along and closing the door behind us. There I saw a man that looked fairly older than me sitting on the floor. He didn't look familiar at first, with plain features and plain clothes, but then he spoke -
"What is all this? What am I doing here?"
His voice along with the fact that he said it in Portuguese brought me an unpleasant memory. A dark street, a hand on my shoulder, being thrown on the ground and having my skirt lifted…
He took longer to remember me than I did to remember him. When his eyes flashed with recognition I already knew who he was. With my face only a few centimetres away from his I smiled softly and said —
"You remember me."
He breathed out heavily and my smile got a little wider.
"Oh, love, you shouldn't have!" I said to Alec in a joking tone and he chuckled darkly.
"Happy birthday, Marina."
I turned back to the man, who was now both angry and confused. His heart raced and he started to sweat when he noticed our eyes, but he hid his fear behind his anger as best as he could. He got up and towered over me, trying to scare me with his imposing stature. He was not even that tall, just tall enough to do that when compared to Alec and I. Still, the sight was comical considering the difference of our abilities.
"You were lucky that time, you bitch! Got me by surprise. You think you'll get to finish what you started, huh? I'll finish what I started!"
He lunged at me and in my eyes the movement was so slow that I could have laughed at his attempt. I was flared up by his words, though. I couldn't find it funny, just pathetic. I easily grabbed him by the neck with one hand and threw him back on the ground, preventing him from getting back up by putting a foot on his chest and pressing down. He groaned loudly and it felt so good to hear it. I knew I would drink him dry the moment his blood was spilt, so I tried to be careful not to make him bleed too soon.
"You really are just an awful person, aren't you?" I pondered, not really expecting him to answer. "I thought maybe you were just too drunk that night, I felt really bad for the way I reacted, but you're pretty sober right now and you're still just scum."
I knelt down by his side and slapped him before he could think of getting up. I punched him in the ribs and heard them cracking, prompting him to start screaming. He hugged himself in pain and I elbowed him between his legs.
"Fuck! You bitch!"
I wanted to break every bone in his body.
"You really do not know when to stop talking, do you?"
I took my time breaking his fingers, revelling in the way his voice got coarser as the time went by. Then I remembered how he had pulled my hair and buried a hand in his, pulling it with enough force to have chunks of it come out between my fingers. He started crying and it was cathartic.
"Not so scary and fearsome now, are we?" I laughed as my anger left me, being washed away by the therapeutic sounds of his sobs and screams.
When I felt like I had enough of his suffering I grabbed what was left of his hair and smashed his head on the ground in the same way I did the night he attacked me. Alec stood there watching me just like he did that night, only this time he didn't stop me. He just looked as I did whatever I felt like doing to the man and once the guy started bleeding he looked as I lifted him and bit into his neck.
The taste of the blood took over my mind and the feeding frenzy didn't let me notice Alec had approached me until his face was centimetres away from mine. I growled, but he took his chances and put a hand on the back of my head, caressing my hair in a soothing way. I relaxed a little and still drinking from the guy watched as Alec bit into the other side of his neck, his hand still on my hair.
If not for the dying man letting out gurgling noises between us it would look like we were kissing.
When there was no more blood to be drunk Alec cast the limp body aside and kissed me hungrily. I finally questioned myself and my actions, wondering what Nat would think of me if she saw me like that… Unrestrained, unbound. Gorging on blood, sinking so deep into the luscious depths of my revenge and my wicked pleasure that the light from the surface was but a twinkle - far away, forgotten and indistinguishable.
It was nothing but a passing thought. All I could truly feel was the taste of blood. So sweet... It was as sickly sweet as the taste of Alec on my tongue and I wished I could drown myself in that rotting feeling.
Sweet decay, glorious defeat. I was a monster through and through.
And I loved it.
a/n:
fofoca mal contada mata fofoqueira - ok so this is a meme and Marina wouldn't know it at the time the story is set lol also I didn't know how to say it in English but it's something along the lines of dying out of curiosity? someone help
this chapter was longer than I intended but I think all the remaining chapters are going to be much longer than the first ones
