warning: violence
There was an astringent quality to the aftertaste on my tongue. It was an illusion, of course, but I knew better than most people just how powerful illusions can be. You don't feel anything any less just because, rationally, you know it's an illusion. The knowledge does not soothe the body and it rarely even calms the mind, destroying everything it can and driving one to madness in due time. There was an unpleasant, bitter flavour to every drop of blood I drank and it was Marina's fault. She made everything taste the sweetest she could before she ruined it all and left it to rot within me.
She was ruining everything and she didn't even care.
It pained me to watch as her carelessness cemented her bad reputation in Volterra. I could remember being targeted like her, along with Jane, as the new stress reliever. The newcomer, not yet cloaked, that looked frail and weak enough to accept any level of aggression without retaliating. Some of the temporary guards liked to exercise any form of power they could to compensate for their lower positions and the kings had more important matters to keep them occupied. Anything regarding our personal lives was our own problem and we were expected to deal with it ourselves.
I was sure that Marina would have done as we did - Jane and I - when we arrived. That she, like us, would have made sure that everyone knew that they were not on her level and she should be feared. That her appearance was misleading and she was powerful, and I was once sure that she would impose herself and earn their respect. No aid from me or anyone else needed, nothing but well-deserved merit.
I was disappointed and I was far from being the only one.
Master Caius had been very excited to have an addition to the offensive part of the permanent guard. He had been anxious to give Marina a dark cloak and have her assist him in his missions. Master Aro had thought she would fit right in and add to the power of the coven. I had been happy to find someone suitable for me, that could stand by my side as my equal.
She was not living up to expectations and the most infuriating aspect of her situation was that it was her own fault. The barrier that prevented her from using her gift to its full extent was an illusion, conjured up and arranged by her own mind. The only thing keeping her from putting her attackers in their rightful place, right by her feet, was herself.
It was ironic, how I circled back to find another disappointing Marina at the same place where I found the first one - the older, blonde Marina that was still in the castle trying to improve her own gift. I had believed that my Marina would be better than that, but so far she was as much of a disappointment.
The feelings it incited in me were horrid enough to make blood taste bad.
I could hardly force myself to stand and idly watch her bring herself down in such a way, but I didn't want her to need me. I didn't want her to need my help, I wanted to be with someone that was perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. The problem with Marina usually was, as I already knew by that point, that it took a lot to get an aggressive reaction from her. She would take a great deal of abuse before she acted out, and she would act in a sudden, extreme way. No graduality, no slow ascension and absolutely no careful consideration. She would take as much as she could and then she would simply explode.
I did not think she could afford to wait for her inevitable explosion. The longer she let the rumours about her docility travel through the castle, the worse was the damage they would cause.
Which was why I decided to speed things up a bit.
I did not worry for her well-being. I knew she could defend herself if she truly felt in danger and that was why I decided to force her to act by making her feel in real danger.
Marina had too much free time for her own good. Not only because it kept her away from me far too often but also because it kept her away from every elite guard and Natalia most of the time. I had imagined she would busy herself with harmless activities, like her usual hobbies of calligraphy training and bookbinding, or reading in the library. After entertaining herself with those she had somehow found time to mingle with the lower guards and get accosted by a few hostile ones in the corridors. Unbelievable.
I had talked to Natalia about it. She had been told about it by Marina herself and she was upset in her own right.
"I know!" She exclaimed in her loud manner when I voiced my worries. "I told her to kick their asses but does she ever listen to me? She'll do something about it when it's too late, that is so her."
We could always expect to agree on something when it regarded the fault in Marina's ways.
"You're not gonna like to hear this but, you know, if things don't get better and she wants to leave I'm not gonna stand in her way or anything. I've been feeling like I don't quite fit in here too."
Oh, you're not going anywhere, child.
"Oh?" I feigned polite curiosity. I had heard her preoccupations from Master Aro himself.
"I want to go vegetarian and Master Caius won't let me. Besides, I have a bad feeling about this whole campaign against the Cullens and the Denalis."
"Master Aro has given you a very good, detailed and long explanation about that matter," I patiently pointed out. "We all do what is best for our community and do not act without reason."
She sighed. "Yeah, I heard it all. And I can see all the reasons, don't get me wrong. I really do. It's just… I keep thinking it's preventable but none of you want to prevent it, you just want an excuse for revenge. They haven't actually done anything wrong so far, you're all waiting for them to do it."
She was right, of course. Master Aro felt threatened by his so-called friend's large coven, full of incredibly gifted members. He felt humiliated by their last encounter, when our reputation had been tarnished. He did want to eliminate them and he was growing impatient while waiting for a punishable crime to present itself. Carefully and slowly, little seeds of doubt about the Cullens lifestyle had been planted. Innocent questions about how dangerous their proximity to humans was, which implied an understandable uncertainty about the safety of it. As time went by, their disguise was beginning to be less and less efficient, though humans were no more observant than any other time before. Technology, however, was becoming more of an obstacle to those who attempted to hide in plain sight.
It was all we ever really needed in order to do anything. If public opinion was on our side, the solid truth was an inconvenient detail. We never needed hard proof to accomplish anything, all we ever needed was legitimation from the majority of those we ruled. It could take a considerable amount of time for the public opinion to change in such a way, especially considering that it was not on our side after what happened the last time we attempted to rid the world of the vegetarians, but it could happen. It would have to be slow and organic, and our hand in it would have to be invisible, but we would wait.
"It is not our job to take anyone by the hand and prevent them from being foolish. We couldn't possibly do it to everyone, nothing else would get done around here."
Natalia pouted and crossed her arms, but said nothing. She could see I was right, she just didn't want me to be right.
"What about Felix?"
She flinched.
"What about Felix?" She challenged. "He's not in love with me or anything."
"He will still be very sad to see you go."
She gave me a long, suspicious look. My intonation suggested that I knew something she did not and like a mouse getting too close to the cheese on the trap, she leaned closer to me.
"Yeah?"
I suppressed a smile. "I suppose he would. He has mentioned how very fond of you he is becoming…"
She frowned and looked away, an evidently false indifference taking over her features. "He's talked about me?"
I did smile that time.
"He talks about you constantly."
Her resolution was fluttering, it was clear to see. It always did when it came to the matters of the heart and I had learnt that fast enough to use it to my advantage at any given opportunity.
"Fine. I won't tell Marina for now. But she has to be getting fed up with everything going on here, you people are so hard on her."
Not nearly enough.
"Marina can take more than she thinks." I turned and went for the door, deeming our conversation over.
"She is still a girl, you know."
I stopped and looked back at her.
"Now, what is that supposed to mean?"
She rolled her eyes. "It means that if you won't cuddle her she will find someone who will and she will be starved for comfort and affection."
It was like she poured a bucket of ice cold water over my very soul.
"Who?"
She faltered. I had scared her.
"Never mind. Just watch out."
My hand closed tightly around her arm, gripping it a little too strongly. "You know something," I accused.
"Alec, for the love of God…" She tried to weasel herself out of my grasp and did so successfully, being stronger than me. "Marina is pretty and way too nice to everyone, come on. You're smarter than this."
She was being evasive but she had a point.
Our relationship was supposed to be stable after her transformation, but of course she would make that as difficult as possible as well. Her adaptation in Volterra was not going as well as I had anticipated.
She spent a great amount of time in one of the media rooms in the subterranean levels, though she had not mentioned it to me for some reason. I had to hear it from Felix and that fact alone unsettled me. Growing suspicious, I decided to pass by when I was sure she would be there.
"I see."
Natalia let me go then, quietly watching me reach for the door a second time.
Once done with Natalia I started my search for Marina's attackers.
Felix was proving himself to be an endless source of information on Marina and her endeavours that did not include me. He couldn't provide a list with all the names of the guards that were constantly attacking her, but he knew which one of them did it the most.
"Flaming red hair, lean type and not too tall? It's Finnick. You know how he loves to slap pretty girls."
The thought of him slapping my pretty girl whenever he pleased was beyond infuriating, but to know that he did so because she allowed it was even worse. The mere concept seemed disgusting in my mind, that she would give him permission to hurt her. In a way, the gesture felt too intimate… that she would make herself vulnerable to someone else and allow them to touch her in such a way when she didn't have to.
It disgusted me.
I took the first opportunity I saw. Heidi announced to the kings after a quick trial that Marina had received a letter. She wanted to know if they would let her read it since it came from Alice Cullen. After some deliberation, Master Aro suggested that I deliver it to her.
"I will not be free for some time still. I believe she could benefit from someone else delivering it."
Heidi then wondered aloud if any of the lighter grey cloaks would know her, to which I promptly answered -
"Finnick does."
Felix's eyes flashed to me. He raised an inquisitive eyebrow but I didn't humour him, saying nothing else and remaining unmoving in my post. He wasted no time once we were out of the throne room and came directly to me.
"You're up to no good."
"That is one point of view."
Demetri joined us, drawn by the subject.
"The other one being?" He asked.
"I will just give her a little push."
They looked at each other in shared suspicion.
"She hasn't been spending much time with us…" Demetri mused.
That fact displeased me and its reason escaped me, but I didn't voice that.
The next thing I did was find Finnick. Jane followed me, reminding me that we had a news inspection scheduled at that time.
"This won't take long."
He was sparring with a few other guards in one of the lower levels. I passed by as Heidi spoke to him about the letter. He fixed his eyes on her and perked up at her description of whom he should give the letter to, his eyes glinting dangerously until he heard she was studying in the library. At that he deflated, certainly disappointed that he would find her surrounded by other people. When Heidi left, I casually commented on his task as indifferently as I could.
"Deliver it to the new girl… like a loyal dog with the morning newspaper."
I laughed to myself, risking a quick look at his face before I went back to Jane.
He was frowning and before we left I could hear him talking to someone else.
"She could very well get it herself."
Yes, and you can think of it as your own glorious idea if it suits you, can't you?
Jane looked at me in the same way Felix had done earlier. "She can't go in there."
I shrugged. "She knows that. I suppose she will be upset with him for suggesting it."
I was wrong, of course. Never ceasing to amaze me by taking all the worst decisions since she set foot in Volterra, Marina went to get the letter herself and fed on the secretary. When she came back from the lobby, Jane was fuming.
"You miscalculated. You should have known by now that she would not be sensible."
I couldn't disagree with that.
"It seems that I have. Still, it serves the same purpose. She will be mad at Finnick. Well, even more so than she already was."
Jane sighed and returned to her task.
"I would have taken matters into my own hands by now, if I was in your place."
I stroked her hair, "Sister, this is taking matters into my own hands."
She huffed. We did not agree on the best way to go about a myriad of things, so it was not surprising to hear her diverging opinion. She was not personally interfering with my affairs that time so I didn't complain much.
"She wants to write back to Alice Cullen."
"Hm."
Yet another thing to worry about.
I was not prepared to see what took place in that godforsaken media room Felix had mentioned.
She was alone with Alina, one of our more physically imposing guards. I listened to their discussion about what film to watch and already felt uncomfortable, imagining the two of them sharing the couch and cuddling each other throughout its duration. Natalia's voice was a mocking, smug echo in my head. "If you won't cuddle her she will find someone who will."
She knew. She had to have known.
I stood by the entrance, unnoticed and anxious to see how Marina interacted with her companion, and was taken by surprise by the declaration that came from the older woman.
"You're just so endearing."
How dare she. Her intentions were clear enough that not even Marina could ignore them; she stared at Alina in utter shock and confusion. She did not even react when she was kissed.
It was interesting. To see it happening again and feel so incredibly different than I did back in Brazil, when I had seen her kissing her human lover… I had felt furious in an impatient, immediate way. My body had burnt with the need to solve it as soon as possible, to just be done with it and move on with her. Seeing her with Alina was completely different and exponentially worse.
Alina was no ignorant, oblivious child who had no chance against me. She was not a weak mortal that would be forgotten in little time. She might not have been anywhere near my level, but for a great number of reasons she could take Marina from me. She was a real threat. That realisation angered me in a directly opposite way. I felt cold, frozen at my core, and paralysed by the mere prospect of that ever happening. I was positively enraged by the sight of her touching Marina as she did, but in a patient manner. It was a type of fury that took its time and propelled me to take revenge into careful consideration. Before I even spoke and caused Marina to shove her away my mind was already racing with different and various plans to punish Alina.
I would have to really get my message across.
"I'm sorry." Marina ran to me after her shock wore off. "Oh God, I'm so sorry, I didn't think she would… I didn't mean for that to happen."
My eyes were fixed on Alina's confused features and Marina took my face in her hands to make me look at her. I caught a glimpse of her wide, bright eyes before she closed them and touched my forehead with hers.
"I know, my love." I whispered against her lips. She took a step back and locked our fingers together.
"Let's talk somewhere else."
She must have sensed Alina was in danger - clever. But I had no intention of being so easily distracted. I pulled Marina and stood in front of her, addressing Alina as calmly as I could.
"She is mine," I warned. "You can't have her."
Marina tugged at my cloak with her free hand, but I waited for the lower guard to answer me. She eventually nodded, slowly and cautiously. Her eyes flickered to Marina, who remained quiet behind me.
I left then, with Marina on my heels, our hands clasped together. She wanted to take me to her quarters, but I firmly told her no and took her to mine instead. Jane was not in there, which seemed to calm her, but I took her all the way to my private chamber. When I closed the door she threw herself at me, embracing me with a force that hurt my ribs.
"Please forgive me," she begged, repeating the words in a frenzied state, her voice muffled by my hair. "Please, please, please-"
How should I play this? She feels guilty enough, I could calm her. Make her think I am sad and not angry and enjoy whatever she does as compensation for my pain.
"Have I been neglecting you?" I inquired, brow knitted as if trying to make sense of her actions. I knew she didn't reciprocate the kiss but honestly felt annoyed that she never mentioned me to the other guard, something that was obvious enough by Alina's perplexed reaction. Marina shook her head vehemently.
"Jesus, no. It's nothing like that. God, am I that cheap?"
"I was not suggesting that at all. I thought you could have felt lonely."
She parted her lips, stunned. "Alec, no. It's not like that. I just didn't know what to do, she never did that before. Fuck, of all the moments you could go in there… It's like the Universe truly hates me."
I didn't mention that I was nearby for longer and had listened to their conversation.
"I know I haven't been very present, physically or mentally, but it's still difficult to spend time with you and share some things when we have such different schedules. Perhaps if you spent more time around the elite guards…"
"I'm sorry." She loved to say that, and as much as I always loved to see her fumbling and stuttering for me it was nauseating to think she was like that to everyone. "I know I said I would mind the hierarchy and all that, but I wanted to make connections of my own. You know, without your influence."
"You don't want to be associated with me?"
"Don't do that. You know perfectly well what I mean."
I did, but I still wanted to milk that chance as much as I could.
"You're still straying away from me," I complained.
She then seemed to face an internal battle from which I could only catch glimpses, little movements and subtle twitches of the muscles in her face. She swallowed, a nervous tick that made her look so impossibly human that if not for her blazing red eyes and pale hard skin I would have sworn I had been thrown back to her mortal days.
"I'll give up my room," she offered after her silent deliberation. "I'll bring my things here and stay with you if you still want me to."
I smiled, so genuinely happy that I did so naturally and effortlessly. "Of course I still want that."
"Then I will. Does it make you feel any better?"
"Marginally."
"What else can I do?"
Ah, that is the right question, love.
Wordlessly, I extended my hand to her and she eagerly took it, bringing it to her lips and kissing my knuckles. She brought my head to her chest with her other hand and caringly ran her fingers through my hair, massaging my scalp with her fingertips every now and then in what I recalled her referring to as "cafuné". I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, taking in her scent as I nested myself in between her breasts.
"I won't talk to Alina or the others if you don't want me to," she continued to suggest whatever she thought had the potential to please me. "I'll get it just right the next time we practise with my gift. I'll really, really try from now on."
"Hm."
Her fingers gently combed my hair and I felt her cheek against the top of my head. It was fairly distracting to be held by her in such a manner and for a blissful moment I allowed myself to be lost in her touch. She began to purr and it became too much. "There are still other things I would like you to get just right."
She stopped moving and I lifted my head to meet her gaze.
"Yeah?" She smirked. "Like what?"
A tingling began to spread from the extremities of my limbs to the rest of my body, reaching my chest. I suddenly felt uncomfortably warm inside.
I matched her smirk and brushed my lips against hers. "Get on your knees."
She did so, and stared up at me as she undid my belt.
"Alina said Corin is a pervert because you look too young," she commented, looking up at me as if in a daze. "What does that make me?"
"I suppose" - I grabbed her by the hair - "it makes you wicked."
She quivered and a jolt of electricity shot down my spine in response. She hadn't even touched me yet.
I'll be dead before I ever let anyone take this from me.
"Am I truly forgiven?" Her voice betrayed her doubt and her fear, but I was growing impatient.
"Yes," I hissed, harsher than I had intended to sound. "You are absolutely forgiven, my dear."
She exhaled sharply and smiled, her hands resting on my hip bones. Then, at an excruciatingly slow speed, she started to unzip my trousers.
You're forgiven, Marina.
Alina, however, is not.
I came up with a very simple plan, in the end.
It was imperative that I only had to do this once, so it had to be extremely effective. I couldn't kill or permanently injure her but I needed to frighten her in such a way that she would never attempt anything close to what she did to Marina ever again. She was taller and stronger than me, but held no advantage over my gift. I would be as quick as possible, but I would not spare her from any level of pain. She had to understand that I meant what I had said in that media room.
My mist was a slow weapon. Without someone to distract or incapacitate my targets, they could easily outrun it. That trait had always annoyed me, ever since I woke up to my second life, but as I had been part of the Volturi Guard from the beginning I had always worked along others who would take care of that little problem for me. I would have no such thing against Alina. No Jane, no Marina, no one else to keep her in place until the fog of my power engulfed her.
She would have to be with her guard down. Unaware of my presence, completely at ease. I believed I would have a better chance to succeed if I could find her alone in the very room where she offended me, but she was rarely alone in there.
Of course, I had considered for a brief moment not acting just yet. She didn't know Marina was spoken for, perhaps I could let it pass with just a warning…? But then I came to know that she talked to Marina again, after I warned her. That made me realise she did not take me seriously enough.
"We had to talk at least once more," was Marina's reasoning. "To set things straight. She won't keep talking to me, I think. I won't go there anymore, or talk to the boys. I promised you."
It was not enough for me.
I walked in the shoes of Marina's attackers, in a sense. Monitoring Alina as much as I could, waiting for a chance to take her when she was alone. It was not very easy, it took a few weeks as I was busier than her, but eventually it happened. With her back against the corridor wall just by the entrance to the library, she casually stood there as if waiting for someone. In a few seconds, I had her. The clear fog enveloped her tall frame without her notice. I took her sight, taste and smell.
It had to hurt and she had to know why.
"Alec?"
As I made my way to her, she aimlessly stretched her arms forward in a reflex to situate herself. I stopped out of her reach.
"Yes. It's me."
She dropped her arms and turned her head in the general direction of my voice, her only guide to my location.
"I won't talk to her again. That was the last time, I swear."
I sighed, but felt no sadness. In reality, I was looking forward to what I had planned.
"Ah, I don't think you mean it right now. But you will."
She felt the wall behind her in order to move sideways, trying to escape the fog, but I had spread it as far as I could. I didn't want her fleeing before I had begun and I didn't want anyone interrupting me. It crept away from me, covering several metres. I was untouchable.
Unless Marina appears to ruin the fun.
She wouldn't. She was in a completely different level of the castle at that time. I had made sure of it.
To her credit, Alina made no other attempts to dissuade me. She straightened her posture and prepared to fight as best as she could in her condition. She did not attack me first either, to try and catch me by surprise; it was evident that she meant only to defend herself.
It was not fair, but I never aimed for fairness. I wanted no justice, I wished only for unapologetic revenge. Flashing by her as quickly as I could, I ripped her arms and then her legs off one by one, always distancing myself once I was finished so she couldn't take a proper hold of me. The first metallic sound echoed through the hallway, loud and denouncing, but she merely grunted. People started to gather at the edge of the mist, trying to watch what was happening. The mumbling and whispering was a little distracting, but I tuned them out. I wasn't done.
Without any means to protect herself, her limbs discarded out of her reach and lacking most of her senses, Alina squirmed in pain and fear. She did not cry, or beg. She was a warrior.
"Remarkable boy," I quoted, amused by the coincidence, "I do admire your courage. I think I'll eat your heart."
I knelt down and clawed my way into her chest. I was in no hurry and was in total control of myself; the only thing that attested for my cold fury was my unwavering resolution and the disregard I had for the sounds of her suffering - for she finally screamed, and she did so during all the time I took to grasp her heart with my closed fist and push it out of her rib cage. The murmurs around us got louder, fueled by astonishment and incredulity.
"God, what did she do?"
"What could have prompted something so drastic?"
"Does anyone know what happened?"
"Good Lord, is this really necessary?"
I stood up with her heart in my hand just as Master Caius joined the curious audience.
"Alec."
The command in his voice was clear and I was glad to be done by the time he arrived. I retracted my mist and threw Alina's heart on the ground. Her friends were the first ones to step forward, anxious to go to her. Master Caius came right after them and a few of the curious spectators ventured forward as well.
"What is the meaning of this?" He sounded curious and not at all angry. I was not one to do such things lightly.
"She was courting Marina."
He chuckled. "I see." He turned to Alina's friends. "Take her away to reassemble her." His voice got a little louder as he addressed the rest of the vampires present. "The rest of you can return to your previous activities."
They obeyed without complaint, though it was undoubtedly because they had the answer they longed for.
"I don't suppose she will be happy when she hears of this," Master Caius commented as he eyed me with a smirk. I shrugged.
"I cannot say I was particularly happy when I saw them kissing, Master."
"Hm. Fair enough."
He turned with a flick of his black cloak, shielding his amused expression from me and leaving me with my thoughts.
The next task would be dealing with Marina's response to my actions.
