Chapter 8: The Hiking Extravaganza
"Can we not go? I'm not hungry." I whined through the bathroom door to Jasper. I looked myself in the mirror and grimaced. Pretty much anything was better than going out there.
I just knew that dinner would be horrible. How could it not? I had managed to surprise Ariel so she had no opportunity to try and destroy me during lunch, but now she had no doubt spent the last 6 hours coming up with a plan to make my life miserable. She was a vicious bitch and she got off from my suffering.
It was safer here in this small, poorly lit bathroom. I just wanted to stay right here and look at my beautiful face in the mirror. Try and build my confidence back up before my family tore it all down again.
"It's going to be okay. I'll stay with you the entire time."
Look at him being all chivalrous. It was obvious that he was going to be with me the entire fucking time. There was no way I was going to give an opening to any of those fucking vultures.
I stared at myself. The lighting was horrible, but I had done my best to work with it. My hair was down in soft waves and I had a pink rose shaped hairpin attached above my left ear. I kept my make up relatively subtle to go with my white dress. The only dramatic thing was my fake lashes, and they made my eyes pop.
I looked good. I looked damn good! But that didn't meant that I wanted to go out there to be seen and judged by my relatives. Or heaven forbid, my mother.
I was surprised that she hadn't stormed in to our cabin yet, but I guess she was busy with driving Faye insane. Her big plan was to announce the engagement to the family during dinner, so Faye had to be perfect. There couldn't be one single hair out of place.
Thank god Faye had been stupid and naive enough to come. She just bought me an extra day of staying under the radar. I obviously wouldn't be unnoticed entirely, not with Jasper there with me, but I wouldn't hopefully be the main attraction tonight.
"You don't understand. She's evil, Jasper. Pure fucking evil."
"...which one are you referring to?"
Fair point. I could count the beareable relatives I had with one hand. Cousin Lydia and Brody. And Brody was stretching it a little. He had his good moments... sometimes.
"I just know she's going to do something horrible..."
I felt sick. My stomach was knotting up and I wanted to cry. Curl up into a ball and stay there until Sunday.
"I can hear your brother and Faye walking this way. Are you ready to come out?"
Did he have to sound so fucking sweet and supportive? It was so damn tempting to walk out of this safe haven and into the hell that awaited just beyond that door with him saying stuff like that. But it would be a horrible mistake.
The front door of our cabin opened and I could hear my brother's loud steps all the way to my sanctuary.
"Is she holed up in there?" Brody asked.
I did not appreciate the indication that I was hiding or something. I was just having a little me-time. I definitely was not having a nervous breakdown. No way.
"It's been an hour already. She won't come out until I promise that we can stay in the cabin."
What a snitch. And such an over-exaggeration. I had not been 'holed up' in the bathroom for an hour. I had been getting ready for an hour while in the bathroom, but that's completely different. It's not my fault that doing my hair and make up takes time. Jasper was just lucky that I hadn't decided to take a shower in between lunch and dinner.
"Hey idiot, get out of there already!" Brody yelled at me. It was easy for that bastard to be so fucking confident. He wasn't the fucking black sheep. Ariel didn't hate him, at least not as much as she hated me. He didn't have mom hounding over him trying to push him into Jasper's arms.
"But I'm not hungry!"
What? Temper tantrums worked for little kids, so why wouldn't they work for me too? It never hurt to try.
"Either you come out or I'll break down the door and tell Aunt Hannah that it was you."
Fucking bastard. There was just no sibling loyalty in him.
"Fine! I'm coming out..."
000
I fucking knew it. Ariel Reagan was the Devil reincarnated. I looked at our assigned table and I wanted to run away. Jasper had his arm wrapped around my shoulders and he was applying enough pressure to keep me right there. I kind of hated his vampire strenght. It was cheating.
We were seated with Granny May, the evil bitch-monster from hell herself, her Justin and my cousin Harry and his wife Elena, both of whom I hated. Elena and Ariel were besties, so she was nearly as bad as the bane of my existance.
"I can make you feel calm and confident, if you'd like. Just say the word." Jasper whispered into my ear. His whispers did strange things to my body. It suddenly got 20 degrees warmer in the room and my eyes may have rolled back. If I asked him nicely, would he be willing to see if he could give me an orgasm by just using his voice...?
And it was really sweet of him to offer his help. And give me the opportunity to decline. It was so great to see a person who didn't abuse their power.
"Thanks for offering, but no. I know I'm a hot mess, but I want to feel my real emotions."
The very thought of someone controlling my emotions made me uncomfortable. I mean, sure it would come in handy if I ever got caught in a hostage situation or something like that, but my every day anxiety and overflowing feelings? A hard pass.
Jasper helped me into my seat again and Granny May was staring at him like he was a piece of meat. Eww, Granny May was eyeing my boyfriend... It was so wrong and so fucking gross!
"It's great to see you again, Granny May." I said, plastering a fake smile on my face and pretending that everything was just fine and dandy. Like she hadn't ruined my life by creating this fucking family.
She was so scary-looking. She didn't look a day over 60 years old. You know, like a 60 year old who was sweating botox and collagen and whose skin was stretched so far back that her previously round brown eyes looked like almonds. Still, it was an incredible feat from a woman who was in her late 80's.
Her heavily dyed brown hair was in a tight bun and I wondered if she had finally moved to wearing wigs. There was no way in hell that a bat this old would have such luscious locks. Her tightened up face didn't let the corners of her lips drop down, but the coldness in her eyes made it perfectly clear that she was frowning. And she said nothing.
Ariel was smirking at my discomfort. What a fucking bitch.
"Everyone, this is my boyfriend Jasper."
It was so messed up. I never liked it when Granny May said something to me, but it was almost worse when she ignored me. It made me feel like I was unworthy of her time.
"It's good to meet you Jasper. I was starting to fear that our Ella would become a spinster when she always showed up to family gatherins alone." Cousin Harry said. His stupid wife let out a fake giggle like Harry had just told the world's funniest joke.
Jasper took a hold of my hand under the table and gave it a gentle squeeze. Holy shit. There goes my heart again. Jasper Hale clearly didn't need to use his magic powers to make me feel better. That was going to come in handy during this weekend.
"I like to think that she was simply waiting for me to sweep her off of her feet."
So. Fucking. Smooth.
I was swooning. Thank god I was sitting down because my legs were useless. I looked up at him and gave him a smile. I didn't even have to fake it, or the googly eyes.
This shit was dangerous to my emotional well-being. Falling in love with Jasper Hale was not a fucking option.
"So, I've noticed there aren't that many faces in the crowd that I don't recognize. Are your friends unable to join us for the entire four days, Ariel?" I asked.
Ariel's face turned angry red and I couldn't help the satisfied smirk that appeared on my face. I knew exactly why there weren't that many strangers at the venue. Who in their right mind would be friends with someone like Ariel?! She couldn't conceal the smell of rot within her.
And it wasn't like her Justin was the type of person who was popular. I was willing to bet that whatever friends he ever had, Ariel had driven them away. She was so fucking toxic that nobody wanted to deal with her.
"It's just... very busy time in their lives..." She mumbled.
I bet it was a busy time for anyone who had ever associated with Ariel. I would make myself busy too, if coming to this shit show had been a choice and not a direct order from my mother.
The waiters brought out the dinner plates. I looked at the juicy piece of steak that was steaming in front of me. Fuuuuuck it had been a long time since I last ate a steak. If I remember correctly, I didn't even have boobs back then.
"So, tell me a little about yourself, young man."
Holy shit! The mummy spoke! IT'S ALIVE!
...was it too late to go back to that blessed time when Granny May didn't say anything?
000
I woke up, finding myself draped all over Jasper's still body. The TV was on, making a really quiet voice. He was propped up against the head of the bed and running his hand through my hair. It was like a scene straight from my private fantasies, of which he had incidently become the main star.
The dinner had been... bearable. And by that I mean it had been horrible, but not as bad as it was bound to get at some point. Jasper had been my rock and saving grace during the entire three-hour affair. He was courteous to my relatives, chatted up Granny May like an expert, and kept his attention on me the entire time. I appreciated that like no one's business.
"Morning." I mumbled, taking a firm grip of my sleep addled brain and deciding that I would not freak out or get any funny ideas about our closeness. I knew I was a sleep cuddler. Angela hated sleeping in the same bed with me since she was a person who couldn't really relax if someone was touching her all the time. We really did make a perfect pair of besties.
"Good morning. Did you sleep well?" He asked, all casual and sexily southern. My mind went to him whispering dirty things into my ear with that drawl. Bad Ella! Mind out of the gutter! I had to once again remind myself that he was a bloodsucking vampire in a committed relationship and it wasn't appropriate to use him as a sex object to fuel my fantasies.
"Yeah. Real talk, do I snore?"
What? A girl needs to know! Angela always says I snore like a lumberjack, but then again, she likes to talk shit about me. Jasper laughed and my god it felt wonderful. I rolled my eyes. I foresaw a cold shower in my near future. Maybe it would knock my hormones out of balance or something.
"No, but you do drool. Just a little." He said with an illegally sexy smirk and pointed a faintly dark spot on his chest. Well, that was embarrassing. I started making a mental list of all the people who had seen me sleeping. Maybe that was the reason none of the guys at school wanted to date me? I fell asleep often enough during class and nobody wanted a slobbering monster as their girlfriend. That explained so much!
"I didn't mind. You kept me more entertained than the night chat on TV."
"You couldn't sleep?" I asked, rubbing my eyes and feeling my skin situation. I needed to put a mask on. My skin was feeling a little dry around my cheeks. Jasper gave me another cheeky, bordering on smug, smirk.
"And here I thought you had us vampires all figured out. We don't sleep."
"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! The undead life must be so boring!" I gasped out, eyes round and wide. A life without sleeping? That was just wrong. Oh, the humanity! Thank god for being mortal!
Jasper laughed again. Like really laughed. Belly-deep and all. It was the single most human thing I had ever seen him do. My heart did one of those little flips that were beginning to get annoying. Falling in love with Jasper Hale had never been part of the plan, and I would do my damnest to keep it that way. Nothing good would come from those thoughts.
"Well, I'm glad you find me that amusing."
"Where have you been all of my life, Ella Johnson?"
Mmmh... I quickly pictured those words being said to me by Jasper in a vastly different scenario. One where we were both naked and sweaty and he was out of his fake breath. I guiltily placed that fantasy into my spank bank for later use. I needed to have a girl's night with my friends. I was in a dire need of some Ryan Gosling to exorcise Jasper out of my system.
I picked up my phone and checked the time before groaning and burrowing my face into Jasper's chest. I had to get up and start making myself pretty for breakfast. I did not want to think about the upcoming day with the Devil's spawn.
Ariel, in her infinite suckiness, had declared that she wanted to hang with her generation of the family, which meant everyone aged 13 to 25. We were supposed to go hiking. Something I would never want to do with Ariel anywhere near by. I could hardly wait.
"Can we say we're too busy screwing each other's brains out to bother with the schedule?" I whined, wrapping my body around him like a sloth.
"I specifically remember you making me promise to get you out of the cabin yesterday. It's just a few hours." He said, patting my back in mocking way.
"Ugh, fine!"
000
Now that I think about it, I really should go out hiking with Ariel more often. This might've been the best day of my life.
Ariel was not meant for walking on anything else than paved, even roads. She was stumbling around like a newborn deer. I was gleefully waiting for that one moment where her ankle would twist and hopefully break. Or maybe she would fall off of a cliff or something. A girl can dream.
"You know, if I wasn't a vampire, I would be scared of you." Jasper whispered into my ear, bringing delicious shivers to my spine. How was he doing this to me?!
"I surely have no idea what you mean." I said snottily, pulling his arm around my shoulders.
I looked around and I had to admit that it was beautiful. Green, misty and kind of magical. You know, until you looked closer and saw all the little critters destroying a perfectly beautiful place. Ugh, nature... so not my thing.
Butterflies were the only insects that I could stand, and even those I preferred to keep their distance. They looked gross as fuck up close. Kind of like Ariel, now that I think of it.
"Hey, I already told you I would kill her if you asked me to, so no judgement!"
Fuck, there he goes again, tempting me. It was so hard to be a decent person when a vampire promises to kill your nemesis. It would be so easy. We were in the middle of the woods. He could toss her over a cliff. Tear her limbs into bite sized bits and say the animals got to her before us. It would be the perfect crime. Brody would never talk, Faye would follow his lead... My numerous cousins wouldn't shed any tears over Ariel either. Well, Harry and Elena might, but Jasper could threaten them with violence...
We arrived to a clearing that had a little pond. It seemed to ooze coldness. My mind went immediately to a fantasy in which I pushed Ariel into it and watched her freeze to death. My god it would be glorious.
Brody, being the idiot that he was, tossed his clothes away from his gross body and jumped head-first into the pond. I shuddered, just imagining how fucking cold that shit was. There was no way I would follow my idiotic older brother anyway near that pond.
"You do know you're marrying an idiot, right?" I asked Faye who was sitting next to me.
"Yeah, but he's a hot idiot."
Disgusting. Faye had a terrible taste in men. Seriously, Brody? He's a pig!
"Eww. What's the situation with the booze?"
Brody was supposed to break into the booze storage and steal us a bottle or five so we could survive our relatives without going crazy in the process. He was supposed to do some recon after dinner had been served.
"Brody says it's going to be impossible until tomorrow when Ariel's birthday party is in full swing. You know, after the staff has left and your aunt Hannah is completely wasted."
"I can't believe he told you his plans. I know you don't approve."
Faye was the straightest of edges. She didn't think it was appropriate for Brody to drink while he was underaged and she especially didn't approve him hooking his sister up.
"I don't, but I understand. I don't like it, but I understand."
Faye was awesome. I'll never understand why she settled for a loser like Brody. It had to be one of life's biggest mysteries.
"Hey, I think one of Ariel's lackies is staring at you..." Faye whispered.
Fucking hell. The girl had an amazing set of eyes.
"Fucking vultures... It's like they are just waiting for us to slip up..." I groaned.
Jasper suddenly slid between my open legs and sat down on the forest floor. He leaned his head into my lap and my God! My body was suddenly on fire. How embarrassing! I mean, vampires were supposed to have super senses, right? There was absolutely no way he didn't notice the sudden dampness found in my panties.
I had to give props to his acting. He looked completely unfazed, just gazed upwards at me with this most adorable puppy-eyed look.
"Think I could get a massage, Darlin'?"
Goodbye my ovaries. I will miss you dearly. Faye giggled into her hand, and I just knew my face was all sorts of red at the moment. That wouldn't do. I quickly glanced around to see if anyone else had seen my flustered face.
She-Devil and her unfortunate fiance were too busy making googly-eyes to notice, thank god. Ariel sticking her surgically altered nose into my fake relationship was the last thing I needed. I really had to pull it together. Fuck. Why couldn't I just risk Lauren's wrath and bring Tyler with me? This was not good for my heart. Or my ovaries.
I decided to grab a hold of my metaphorical testicles and push all of my awkwardness away. It could wait until I was in the privacy of my own room. I dipped my fingers into Jasper's magnificent golden mane and by GOD it felt good. Smooth as Italian silk and soft like a baby's bottom! I had to learn his hair secrets. I could literally kill for a hair like that.
It was a bit alarming to realize how easily I could be persuaded to kill someone. Did it mean that I was a psycopath? If so, I was blaming my mother. She could drive anyone to commit murder.
"Honey! Come warm me up..." Brody yelled from the pond. Faye rolled her pretty eyes and grinned.
"Duty calls. The things we do for our boyfriends, right?"
"I'll still love you even if you finally get smart enough to dump his sorry ass." I said and watched as she got up and practically ran to Brody's side.
Ariel let out a horrible screech. She threw her hands up and started flailing around.
"What's her problem?" I was thoroughly enjoying her suffering. It was only fair when she was the one who had dragged us out here.
"There's a bee in her hair." Jasper said softly.
Okay wow, it sounded like he was really enjoying himself. Tummy tingles were back in full blast and I think I was blushing. It was so fucking stupid. Why was I having a reaction to him looking so pleased?
Also, blessed be all the fucking bees in the world. Long may they reign and hopefully they would sting Ariel for the rest of her life. Fucking bitch...
I wrinkled my brow a little when I touched Jasper's forehead. His skin felt colder than it had during our morning cuddling. And fuck yes, I could actually say that I cuddled with Jasper Hale. Anyway, back to the matter at hand.
I could've easily discounted his cold skin for being in this cold-ass weather, if not for the fact that his skin felt harder too. It had been almost pliable yesterday and now it was feeling more and more unyielding. I gently pushed my finger against his forehead and frowned when the skin didn't dent at all.
I wracked my brain through my Cullens Collection as I kept rubbing his head. I was pretty sure I had written something down about their skin...
"What are you thinking so hard about, lil' darling?" Jasper said, his voice octave lower than before. Fuck, it sounded like his potential sex voice. At least, that's what my dirty, dirty mind connected it to immediately. Oh, to be able to hear his sex voice... Damn that Alice was one lucky bastard.
"Are you... hungry? You feel colder." I whispered out, careful not to let anyone hear me. I let my fingers travel down to his cheeks, the potential meaty part of his face. No denting there either. Okay, so Jasper was chiselled and his cheeks were delightfully sharp, but EVERYONE had little something soft on their cheeks.
Jasper raised his eyebrow and let out a throaty chuckle that went straight to... somewhere that was not my brain. The sexy bastard was clearly trying to distract me from the subject, and by God it was working beautifully. I was so over this hormonal overdrive.
"Not really. I could eat, but I'm not feeling even slightly peckish, sweetheart. It's another few days until I have to hunt again. You don't have to worry about it."
Ah, so he wasn't trying to distract me. Maybe. He clearly enjoyed making me feel all hot and bothered. Probably boosted his ego nicely. I will continue to claim that my attraction to him was simply physical and the result of his unnatural sex appeal. Never mind that Creepward and Emmett didn't cause similar feelings in me. Two out of four was pretty good. Not to mention how hot Rosalie was. Maybe they just needed to be blonde vampires?
"Well, not to be a nagging girlfriend, but people are going to notice if your eyes change pitch black and your skin turns ice cold and stony. Isn't that what happens to vampires?" I asked, waving to Faye who had attached herself to my freezing and dripping excuse of a brother.
"We'll follow you in a bit!" I called out a little louder so the group could hear me. Jasper played the part perfectly and nuzzled into my inner thigh. I was in so much fucking trouble. I wanted to have this conversation, but I wasn't a hundred percent sure if I could trust my body if I was left alone with Jasper at the moment. Fuck, what if I tried to jump his bones? He'd turn me down in an instant and then this whole affair would be even more awkward and horrible.
Brody snorted into Faye's neck and followed Ariel and her group of side bitches. I guess everyone bought that we wanted to have some alone time to get naughty. Man, I wish...
"I never thought about humans noticing the difference in my appearance before."
That didn't surprise me at all. The Cullens were HORRIBLE at pretending to be humans. Their eyes changed colour all willy-nilly. I swear half of our school just believed that they were wearing contacts for shits and giggles. And I had been feeling up Jasper enough to know that he let his skin become hard like a marble. The Cullens had to be fucking experts in avoiding human contact because I think every single human in Forks could tell the difference between a human hand and a fucking statue.
"Maybe you should start. I mean, don't you want to pass as a human?"
Jasper hummed and closed his beautiful eyes. He looked so fucking satisfied that my mind went to the gutter again. Hell, who could blame me? I had his head between my thighs! Now if only we weren't in a forest and wearing workout clothes...
"You know, this is sort of fun. I was dreading this weekend, but I'm quite enjoying myself." Jasper said.
Fucking hell. I might actually agree with him. Okay, so I hated being here and I wanted to get the fuck away from my relatives, but so far it had been... not the worst. Maybe even a little bit fun. Like, for a hot second.
Jasper was my saving grace. He performed his fake boyfriend duties with perfection. I also liked being around my stupid brother when we formed an united front. At home he was just your regular asshole, but when the Johnson kids were out gunned and left for dead... we fucking made it work.
Still, I couldn't just go around and admit it, right? I mean, what would Jasper think? Probably that I had conned him into this whole thing. My family, as awful as they were, had put on their best act in front of Jasper. To keep him from bailing in the middle of the celebration. Jasper didn't understand why this was so horrible.
"Well, I'm glad one of us is enjoying themselves. You're going to need your positive attitude tonight."
And oh boy, Jasper Hale was going to have the surprise of his life. It was the rehearsal dinner and that meant drinking. So much drinking... If he thought my relatives were iffy when they were sober and actively playing roles, he was about to have his fucking mind blown.
Like they say; the truth will out!
Author's Final Notes:
Well, I had a busy week. I was hoping to get this done earlier, but work and other real life stuff got in the way. Kids, enjoy your youth while you can. Life only gets suckier after school. I'm not entirely satisfied with this chapter, but at some point you just have to let go and hit that 'submit' button. The next one will hopefully be a little better, at least for me.
I'll try my hardest to get the next chapter out around Sunday-Monday. No promises, though!
Things are about to get interesting for Ella and Jasper. There may or may not be a close call with death. Ooooh, dramatic!
And yet another thank you for you awesome people who continue to waste your precious time reading this. You guys really are the good sort!
