~ Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight and no copyright infringement is intended ~
Authors Note: Hello Everyone! I just wanted to thank everyone who reviewed, favorited and followed. You are all so kind, sweet and simply wonderful for doing so :) Here is the next chapter so I hope you enjoy! If you have any questions, criticisms, suggestions or anything please feel free to leave a review! Happy Reading :)
As the threads that connected me to the dream world slowly frayed, I shivered at the coolness of the air – it's loamy fragrance tickling my nose as a gentle reminder that I was no longer in India. I snuggled in closer to the soft duvet and kept my eyes closed as the fabric caressed my cheek. Hugging the duvet a little tighter and nuzzling my nose against the tip of my grey bunnies head, I ran my fingers along the silken mattress. The comforter was far thicker than the one I had in India but I suppose that was because I rarely needed one – rarely needed a sheet or blanket, as I tended to sleep underneath the protective gazes of the stars above.
Not yet wanting to face a reality haunted by stares and schoolwork – a world without Fitz, I allowed myself to drift in and out of consciousness. The world was a blur as random images ghosted across my eyelids. A hand on my shoulder momentarily brought me back to reality, but after a second I was lost once more. I could feel someone trying to wake me as I tried to cling onto this wallowing, peaceful blackness.
It was only when an unknown force came crashing down onto my cheek that my eyes flickered open. I released a small gasp that quickly slid into a moan. With my fingers, I pushed at the pillow until I could no longer feel it's cool fabric against my cheek before swiftly tucking my head underneath the duvet.
"Willa, wake up." Bells said in a groggy voice and hit me once more.
"But…but i-it's not morning yet." I muffled into the duvet – my bunnies head now safely underneath my chin.
"Willa, it's seven in the morning and class starts soon." I slowly pealed back the covers – just enough so both my and bunnies eyes could peep out to see Bella sitting on the bed holding her pillow. She was still dressed in her pyjamas and her hair was messy with her unruly curls. "You have to get up."
I hoisted myself up on my elbows so I could look out the window. Behind the rain splattered glass the small town was enveloped in fog – the sky mirroring the sleepy haze that clouded the minds of those who were forced to wake. Turning my head back so I could look into Bell's eyes, I allowed myself to fall back onto my bed – to coil into myself like a child in protest.
"But the sun is still sleepy, so maybe…maybe we could wait for her to wake up first?" I wondered aloud with foolish eyes that made my cousin smile.
"What sun?" She asked me, flicking her eyes to the window for just a moment. "And when did your optimism leave you?"
"Oh, it hasn't." I said in a small defensive voice, shaking my head as my light brown hair fell over my shoulders. "She just went to sleep when I did. She'll be up and about soon." I told her, shifting my gaze to the plain, white ceiling. I frowned, furrowed my eyebrows at its nakedness. I raised my hand up to that white sky above and licked the dryness away from my lips as I thought how I could transform it; bring a sense of familiarity to it. "I-I think I'm going to paint."
"To paint?" Bella asked – confusion binding her words. I looked back at her to see her tug her hair behind her ear. I nodded, sitting up in bed as the covers fell down to my waist. "Paint what?"
With wide, imaginative eyes I replied, "the stars." I held up both of my hands and wiggled my fingers as if to mirror the shimmering movement of a fictional star.
"Yea, well first you have to go to school." Bella said with a motherly tone to her voice. I suddenly felt sadness nibble at my heart as memories of my mama – the fact that she was no longer here bit and tore at my flesh. I forced a smile to my eyes and widened them in hopes that fragments of glee and courage would piece together my dark brown irises. "Come on." She pulled at my covers and reluctantly; I swung my legs over the side of the bed – the cool carpet sending a slippery icicle down my back.
"Jeepers it's cold!" I exclaimed and leapt out of bed – wrapping my arms around me tightly as I trembled.
"Well, better get used to it." Bella said. "The heaters don't work." She stated as I attempted to turn one on for myself. When nothing happened, I licked away the cool shell that had formed over my lips and ran my hands up and down my trembling arms. "I'll see you in ten?" She asked and I nodded in response with a smile before she left.
With my little cousin now gone, I padded my way to my wardrobe with nimble steps and retrieved my clothing for the day. I traded in my pyjamas for a pleated caramel skirt that's hem was slightly fraying, a black shirt with a peter pan collar and cupped sleeves and to keep me warm – a comfy purple cardigan. I then slipped on black tights, converse and a headband to complete my first day look. Standing in front of the mirror, I closed my eyes.
I let my arms hang loose at my side, my shoulders slumping and my mind – my mind crack open to spill all of it's vulnerability, all of it's nervous energy, it's every doubt and fear into me. I let all those negative emotions fill me, consume me as it wriggled within me and snaked around each of my veins. I let them strangle my muscles and swim within my blood like schools of trembling fish. I didn't have my mama to comfort me, I didn't have Fitz at my side and I didn't have the comfort of knowing there would be people like me – travellers, explores. So I let myself become buried within these emotions, within these feelings that no one must ever see, ever know of. But when I opened my eyes, when I parted my lips to let the cool air whistle down my lungs, I closed that crack in my mind and concealed them.
Blinking, breathing – I let the air calm me as my positivity bloomed within me once more. With a final smile at my reflection, I slung my bag over my shoulder and made my way downstairs where I found Charlie sitting at the small kitchen table as he ate his breakfast whilst reading the paper.
Offering him a small smile as I went to the fridge I said, "Good Morning, I hope you slept well."
"Um, yea." He replied as I moved to search the cabinets for something eatable, closing the fridge with my hip. "You?" He asked.
I gave him a small nod. "Surprising yes. The rain was almost like a lullaby."
"Seriously?" Bella asked as she came down the stairs. I simply shrugged and decided on some toast and fruit. We mainly ate in silence and once Charlie had finished, he wished us both luck for school and left for a long day of work. It wasn't long before Bells and I had to leave as well. We wanted to get there early, in hopes of avoiding the stares, so once we finished getting ready we got into Bells old red truck and drove off into the enchanting rain.
The trip to Forks High School was rather quick and pleasant. The tunes on the radio were playing softly in the background as Bella drove. Sitting cross-legged in the passenger seat, I rested my head against the window and listened to the water droplets. Opening the window, I stretched out my arm – my palm facing the weeping sky. The droplets prickled my skin in a gentle, soothing manner. I titled my fingers upwards and watched as the rain ran down my fingers and trickled underneath my sleeve. If this is the way rainy days are here – this would be the last time I rode within Bell's truck.
"Willa, could you close the window?" Bella asked. I rolled my head to the side and smiled at my sister as the rain droplets played on my skin. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, prompting her to explain why I should shut out something so magical. "I don't like the cold," she shook her head as her features pulled into a look of discomfort – disgust. "Any cold wet thing…"
"Do not be angry with rain; it simply does not know how to fall upwards – Vladimir Nabokov." I spoke the words from memory as I turned my attention to the soft, visible lullaby outside. I could hear a puff of laughter escape Bell's lips at my words and when I flicked my gaze to her, I was happy to see a playful smile tug at the corner of her lips. "Here" With my free hand, I switched the radio off with the soft pressure of my finger against plastic. "Listen," I told her softly. And with that, for the remainder of the trip we did just that – listen as the rained soothed our trembling nerves.
As we approached the school I withdrew my hand from the rain but kept the window open. Drawing my knees up to my chest, I wrapped my arms around them and rested my cheek against my kneecaps as I looked at the school. Seeing a sign with 'Forks High School' written on it with big bold letters, the truck turned off the highway and drove up to the school. I licked the dryness away from my lips and turned to look at my cousin once she had parked the car. I watched as she drew in a shaky breath before I outstretched my hand to hold hers. My thumb stroked her oh so pale skin, in hopes that the motion would sooth her somehow – remind her that she wasn't alone.
"Everything's going to be alright." I told her gently. "I'm right here." She turned her head towards me and offered me a tiny smile.
"I know." She took in a deep breath – her chest rising and falling dramatically. "Lets do this."
After squeezing each other's hands, we got out of the car. There weren't many students around just yet, which was a gentle relief. I let my shoulders sag slightly and loosen my grip on the strap of my bag as I walked around the trunk to where my cousin stood. Entwining our arms, we huddled together as we walked down a small path lines with flowers that dropped underneath the weight of the rain. For the few students who trickled the school grounds, staring at Bells and I, I gave them a cheerful smile and for those who smiled back, a little wave.
Once inside the small office building, I was slightly surprised at how warm it was. There was only one desk in the room and behind it sat a redhead woman who looked up above her spectacles as we approached. Taking my arm away from Bell's I took a step forward and brushed some damp hair behind my ear.
"Hello." I said shyly with a smile. "My name is Willa Fawn and this is my little cousin Isabella Swan." I gestured behind me to where Bella stood. I wasn't sure what else I was supposed to say, as I had never been in this situation before. My mama had always taken me to school on the first day. She would wrap her arms around me and sing ancient songs in my ear to calm me down. She would kiss my cheek and ruffle my hair - but ... never again.
"Off course, the Chief has told us all about you two." She exclaimed as she spun around on her chair to dig through a messily stacked pile of files that rested on a cabinet whose drawers were too full to shut properly. "Here we are." She said with triumph coaxing her words out. She spun back around on her chair and placed two piles of sheets on the counter. I ran my finger along the edges of the paper before plucking them up, as Bella did the same. We ran our eyes over our timetables in curiosity and my lips twitched with happiness and the classes I had been put into.
The tip of my finger ran down the side of my schedule – hovering over each class before moving on to the next.
The classes, which I had been placed into where Environmental Science, Physics, English, Calculus, Music Theory, Physical Ed and lastly my lips parted slightly as my finger, trembled over the subject – World History. Despite having a love for different cultures, languages and discovering different elements that construct a nation – I had always disliked History. It was a subject of a past – a past that would not return in the form of the future or time travel. Because of this, I had never put much effort into it – never done well in it and it became hard to care when there was so much more to do, so much more to explore and see that was in the present, that I could touch, small, taste and be in.
"Thank you, miss." I replied politely as she handed us two pink slips that we had to get signed by our teachers before the end of the day. "Have a lovely day."
"Hold on, Miss Fawn. I need to speak with you for a moment." The lady called just as I had turned my back to leave. I scrunched up and nose and squeezed my eyes as I predicted the subject of the conversation she wanted to have. I nodded, and quickly relaxed my face as I turned to face her. Bells took a step towards me – confusion molding her features. "Alone." The lady said and pushed her glasses higher up the brim of her nose. I glanced towards Bella who gave me a questioningly look but I simply shrugged and gave her an encouraging smile as she left. With my cousin now gone, I took a step towards the desk. "Miss Fawn," She drawled as her eyes ran over my transcripts. "It seems to me that from your previous grades you are clearly capable of passing all of your courses, all expect one." I gave her a timid nod, watching as she held up a finger to illustrate her point. I swallowed deeply. "Do you need me to tell you what it is, or are your results from the past years enough for you to make an accurate guess?"
"World History?" I asked sheepishly and received a curt nod as confirmation.
"Yes, that is the one Miss Fawn." She replied and placed my transcripts back down on the table. "Because of your grades I have talked to your history teacher and he has decided that it would be best if you have a tutor." I widened my eyes slightly – trying my best to keep my features calm and composed. "Your teacher, Mr. Monroe, has appointed his top student as your tutor to ensure that you do not fail as you have done…" she sighed as she looked back down at my transcripts, "in your previous exams. You will meet on Mondays, Wednesday and Fridays after your last class in the Library and the session will last as long as it takes for you to understand the information you are taught." I nodded in understanding. It was no surprise that I would be getting a tutor but I couldn't help but succumb to the gnawing pain – the pain that reminded me my tutor would not be Fitz.
"Yes, Miss." I replied, inclining me head as she smiled at my acceptance.
"Great. Mr. Monroe has suggested that you two sit together so your sessions after school will be more manageable. Your first session will start this Wednesday." And with that, she dismissed me with a simply wave and I embarked on the journey to find my first class.
As time went on it became more and more clear to me that this school was a labyrinth of brick and marble. Every building that I slipped into became more and more suffocating due to the lack of fresh air, of a raw and untameable cage. I walked through the hallways – slipping in-between the gaps of the bustling groups of students. I hugged my books and papers to my chest, trying to become as small as possible as I searched for my class. It was only when the chatter in the halls died to a distant echo and the number of students dwindled down to zero that I knew I was in trouble.
Sighing, I paused in the middle of a silent hallway and looked at my map. I turned it this way and that, tracing my finger along the bold red lines. I had never been good at map reading – I tended to rely on my senses but right now, all my senses could pick up was the sticky smell of sweat mingled with air freshener. I released a small puff of frustration as I looked around my surroundings before deciding to keep on walking. I tightened my hold on my shoulder strap as I continued to walk down the hallway with hope persuading each step.
It was only when I rounded the corner that I ran straight into someone. I was propelled to the floor; a small noise of surprise escaped my throat as my body sprawled against the marble floor. Hoisting myself up, I peered through the curtain of hair to see the girl I had bumped into. She was pretty – with delicate features upon her roundish face flecked with freckles that lay over her nose and upper cheeks. Her hair was a range of butterscotch and light blond hues that fell in long straight strands down past her shoulders. Her ocean blue eyes widened in shock, in embarrassment at what had just happened.
"Oh, I-I'm s-so sorry." She stuttered out, quickly adverting her gaze to the mess of papers and books that lay scattered between us. She reached out a trembling hand and began to separate our papers. "I-I d-didn't h-hurt you, d-did I?"
I have her a soft smile and pushed some of my hair back so I could help her gather her papers before tending to my own. She seemed shy, and was slightly on the chubby side – her aura warm and comforting. "Oh, no you didn't hurt me." I told her gently with a smile. I handed her the rest of her papers – noticing the high grades that were written upon them in felt tip pen. My eyes lingered over her marks, slightly intimidated by her intelligence. "I may be small, but I'm as tough as nails I am." I told her lightly in an attempt to ease whatever tension or social fear she may have. For my whole life, I had always looked out for the shy kids – the outcasts and it wasn't just because I was a shy girl too. It was because I knew what it was like, to be bullied, to be looked at as different ... and because of that I made a promise to myself to never let anyone feel left out - alone.
Her lips twitched upwards at my statement and the trembling in her hands slowed. "I'm Willa," with my free hand I outstretched it slightly, "I'm new here." I told her shyly as she looked at my hand before slipping her own into mine.
"J-Josephine." She tightened her grip on my hand as her confidence bloomed within her. "B-but most p-people call me Josie."
The smile widened across my lips as I inclined my head and released her hand. Lifting my eyes back up to hers I replied, "Josie it is." I kept my words soft, delicate as we stood and exchanged papers. Josie was a lot taller than me, but I suppose that wasn't hard to be. She wore a pretty white top with a navy blue cardigan for warmth and jeans.
"S-so, what class do you h-have now?" I was relieved by her question – hoping that perhaps she could help me find my way. Shuffling through my books, I smiled lightly when I found the one I searched for. Holding it up, I showed her my Physics book and crunched up my nose at the sight of it. The only reason I had done Physics was for Fitz, so he would never have to be alone. We sat together, helped each other – him with my grades and me with his happiness. But now as I looked at the book, as I realised that I would walk into that class without Fitz, I couldn't resist wrinkling my nose and poking my tongue at it's menacing, metaphorical stare.
"Oh, I-I can take you, i-if you like," she said sweetly, pointing behind her back with her outstretched thumb. "We-we're in the s-same class." With a smile of gratitude and a nod of acceptance I followed her down the hallway lined with lockers – each one of her long strides were two of mine. "S-so, I-I guess you like t-to read?" I narrowed my eyes in slight confusion but widened them slightly when I saw she still held my copy of Dracula in her hands.
Plucking the book with gentle care from her hands, I skipped slightly ahead of her before whirling around on the balls of my seat so I could walk facing her. "Books," I began, my fingers caressing the white, cool metal of the lockers as I walked, "are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers – Charles William Eliot." When I finished, I paused midstride and leaned against one of the lockers, with a light smile waltzing across my lips at her surprise. "Do you read?" I wondered aloud.
"Y-yes." She admitted timidly. "B-but mostly for school." She gestured to the pile of books in her hands with the end of her chin. "Did you know that studies have concluded that r-reading m-makes you more en-engaged throughout l-life and a-assists in the enhancement of a-analytical thinking?" I looked up from the books she held to meet her now sparkling eyes with captivation glimmering within my own.
"I…" I shook my head with a timid smile. "How do you know that?" I wondered, fascinated with the remark and intelligence her mind must have. She looked away as a blush crept up her neck to stain her two cheeks.
"I-I, ah, I remember things easily." She informed me, shifting her books within her arms.
"Then I suppose you must be one of the lucky ones, aren't you?" I teased, walking towards her and nudging her shoulder gently with my own. She smiled, shyly, happily and embarrassed. "Come on then, lets get to class." And with that we resumed walking down the empty halls – our shoes and chatter, echoing through the hallways and perhaps drifting underneath the closed doors.
After wondering the twisting halls, Josie eventually stopped outside a closed door – her had hovering over the handle. It trembled slightly as if unsure whether or not to open it or not. She then dropped her hand to her side and mustered up the best comforting smile her lips could perform. "I…I k-know w-what it's like to be the n-new kid h-here and I'm s-sure you'll be fine but…" She shifted her gaze to her feet as she pondered her words. "If you need," she lifted her eyes to mine once more, "any help then – then I'm always here." My features softened at her words, at her kindness and I felt a sudden urge to envelop her in my arms.
But instead I gave her a gentle smiled and said, "thank you, that's very sweet of you." I told her honestly before nodding towards the handle, indicating that she could open the door.
Twisting the handle, the door opened with a soft click to reveal a class whose students all turned their eyes to us, the second the door had loosened a sound. I rolled back my shoulders as I tried to fake confidence. I gave the class a small wave, my fingers moving like a little Mexican wave, before I followed Josie towards the frowning teacher cloaked in a white lab coat.
The teacher, whose name I quickly discovered as Mrs. Florence had crow like features – her inky black hair was tied up in a server bun that tightened her features and tugged at the corners of her eyes. I handed her over my pink slip, which she signed with a tight signature. She then placed a hand on my back as she pointed to a desk at the back and informed me that my lab partner for the semester would be Josie. Despite feeling the pressure of stares, I could feel the tension slowly leak out of invisible holes as I took my seat next to Josie. I didn't think I would have made a friend so quickly but here she was – a quiet, sweet girl who had shown me a kindness that was a rare thing to come by.
She took me to each of my classes and the further I went with her at my side, the lighter my steps became, the more relaxed I was. But Fitz was still nibbling at my heart. It was as if I searched for his ghost – every turn I made, every step I took, I felt myself looking for him, to see his sweet face as he walked towards me with a jump in his stride and a pile of books cradled in his arms. I wondered what he would think of it here, how he would take in the weather – the people and the absence of raw nature that had once engulfed us.
After Environmental Science, Josie began walking me to my worst subject, World History, when she bumped into a tall and slightly gangly boy. He stopped to steady her – the touch of his hands turning her cheeks a rosy pink. By his height I could guess that he was a senior like us. His hair was dark and lustrous and a pair of coffee colored eyes swiveled from Josie's to meet mine.
After wiping his hand against his jeans, he outstretched it towards me with a friendly, goofy smile stretching his lips. "Otto." He said in a voice with fake deepness. "Is-is me." He quickly released my hand to place it on his chest.
"Hello." I responded lightly with a smile. "I'm –"
"Willa." He finished for me, his voice loosing its deepness and his eyes suddenly widening as I arched my eyebrow in surprise. ""I-I uh, it's just that w-we don't get many new s-students here." He admitted as if to justify why he knew my name. I shook my head at his embarrassment, wanting to tell him that it was all right and that there was no need for the redness blooming underneath his cheeks. But before I could tell him, he quickly continued on. "Well, uh, I think I should go. But, uh, maybe I'll see you around…maybe at school since we both go here and are seniors." I smiled at his awkwardness and went on my tiptoes to place a comforting hand upon his shoulder.
"It was lovely meeting you, Otto." I told him cheerfully, squeezing his shoulders slightly as I watched the tension drip out of him. I dropped my hand to my side, releasing a puff of laughter as he gave me a casual salute.
After he left and Josie and I continued our way to World History, I couldn't help but notice the way her cheeks remained a soft tinge of red – her nose twitching as she smiled shyly. When we arrived outside my World History classroom, I could feel my nerves bubbling inside me. Josie gave me a one-arm hug, which I happily turned into a full one before quickly pulling back and apologising for my forwardness. Josie, however, did mind and promised to come and get me for lunch.
After waving her goodbye, I took in a deep breath – closed my eyes and whispered, "Everything is going to be alright," before forcing my courage to bloom from closed buds and walked into the class. I could feel the student's stares – my skin tingling at where they looked. I smiled at them lightly – not afraid of meeting their curious stares with polite ones. Once I reached Mr. Monroe, he stood from his chair that released a small groan when he did so. He offered me a warm smile that eased my nerves but the very sight of all the pre-written notes on the Russian Revolution caused my nerves to quickly consume me. I handed him the slip, which he sighed.
"I've been told that you've been informed about having a tutor?" He stated, keeping his voice low so the rest of the class wouldn't hear.
"Yes, sir." I replied and he nodded in approval before running his hands through his salt and pepper hair.
"I hope it didn't make you feel uncomfortable, but I thought it would be best to nip any problems that might occur now rather than later." I nodded in understanding before he turned to the class and scanned the rows of students. Like all the other classes, there were two students seated at each desk with narrow walkways separating the desks. The student's stares were heavy on me as they watched in curiosity and anticipation.
"I've placed you next to your new tutor who you will start sessions with on Wednesday so," He said quietly, leaning in to whisper in my ear. He then cleared his throat, straightened his back and raised his voice so the rest of the class would now hear him. "Mr. Hale can you please raise your hand."
My eyes searched the room before stopping on a pale hand raised in the air, I took a step forward and my breath hitched in my chest when I saw his face. I may be wild, I may be friendly and I may have male friends…but I was still just a girl, a girl who became easily intimated by attractive boys and a girl who could not stop the fluttering of her heart when her eyes clasped upon a handsome man. But I never judged anyone by their appearance – never. So I locked away my fluttery nerves, caged my hiccupping heart and walked towards Mr. Hale.
