It was a strange thing – being the new kid. It's as if your foreign presence could snuff out the gossip, the mundane conversation and consume everything that surrounds you, including silence. So, as I walked down the narrow path, lined with desks on either side, I held my head high as the conversation slid into captivated glares. A timid smile waltzed across my lips as I met the eyes of students, students who were taking in my every detail as they determined where I would fit on the social ladder – the type of person I may

"Sliding into my seat, I spared a glance at the boy sitting next to me. His posture was impeccable and his figures were as white as virgin snow as they coiled around the edge of the table. He resembled a perfect, colored in statue with skin paler than the crust of a porcelain doll…yet just as delicate. His mouth was pulled into a tight line and every muscle in his face was tense. Outstretching my index finger, I allowed it to brush over his knuckle, keeping my touch as delicate as the kiss of a floating dandelion against flesh. His eyes snapped to mine, his hand hiccupping underneath my touch.

"Sorry." I whispered, maintaining a warm smile and friendly eyes. I slowly withdrew my finger and outstretched my hand towards his. "Hello, there." My words were gentle as they hid underneath the history lecture. "I'm Willa, Willa Fawn." His eyes were the color of yellow–deepened with the fire that filtered in behind them. But those eyes that bore into mine were an enigma. Golden flames of suffering and pain seemed to lick the glass walls of his eyes. But as I lowered my head to nod a hello – to coax a response from his throat, the fire in his eyes dwindled down to a smouldering ember. My eyes flicked to his curled fingers and I watched as they slowly relaxed.

"My apologies, I'm Jasper. Jasper Hale." His voice was tight – controlled, as he outstretched a timid hand. The tips of our fingers kissed – teased one another in a cautious manner before they called upon their courage and held each other. His grip was firm – large as it swallowed my small hand. But what captured my attention most was the coldness of his hand. I refused to let him know how cold his hand was in mine, though I was tempted to offer my cardigan to him for an extra layer of warmth.

"Oh, sorry!" I quickly whispered as I was still holding onto his hand. His lips twitched as I broke our physical touch – a tinge of prickling pink staining my cheeks.

"The lesson that I was now caged within seemed longer than the others, the monotone of the professor drummed in my ears. The professor's lecture was only interrupted by the scratching of pencils and the repetitive sniffing of the boy sitting next to me. I ignored it for the first few sniffs but as they continued – grew deeper, I reached down into my bag to retrieve a small packet of tissues. He seemed amused when I handed them to him – surprised. The corner of his lips trembled and his eyes narrowed before he shook his head and returned his focus on the lecture.

"We were supposed to be copying down the notes that our teacher scribbled on the board, but it didn't take long before I found myself with my novel open between my knees. After the lecture, Mr. Moore then gave us our new textbooks. When he stopped at our desk, I didn't fail to notice the suspicious look that he gave me.

"Willa." He said. A smile lit up his face when he thought I was taking notes. However, when he leaned in a little, I watched with fearful eyes as his forehead crinkled. He sighed, "I understand that coming to a new school must be difficult and that you dislike this subject. However, whilst you are in my class I expect you to focus." He said stiffly. "Do you think you can do that for me?" He asked, softening his tone.

"Discreetly closing A tale of two cities, I gave him an apologetic look. "I'm sorry sir." I replied. But from what he knew about my history grades and the look he gave me, I knew he was dubious about my apology. With that, he spun around and walked back to the front of the class to dish out an absurd amount of homework.

"As I packed up my things, I felt a feather brush across my back as Jasper quickly passed me – his hand applying the lightest of pressures for me to move out of his way. I quickly apologised before stepping to the side to allow him to pass. He seemed shy, a person who suffered from unwanted attention for his appearance and I…I felt sorry for him.

"Shaking my head, I slung my bag over my shoulder and nimbly made my way out of the classroom. I was instantly greeted with the bustling crowds and quickly took a step back into the classroom as I waited for people to pass. But when I realized my patience was in vain, I took a deep breath and quickly inserted myself into the crowd. I wrapped my arms around me as tightly as I could – apologizing each time a stranger bumped into me. It was only when I saw Josie coming towards me that my anxiety slowly dissolved.

"H-hello." Josie stuttered as she fell into step with me, her arm pressing against mine so we wouldn't lose one another. "H-how wa-was class?" She wondered with a soft genuine voice.

"It was," I paused as I searched for the right world, "interesting." I settled with. "I've never been a big fan of history." I told her honestly, walking on my tiptoes so she could hear me. "I mean, why learn about the past when you can live in the now?" I fell down to the palms of my feet. "That and we got a lot of homework." I continued anxiously. "Two essays on the Russian Revolution and a whole bundle of reading." I held up my history book before gazing at it as if it had physically hurt me. "Just the size of this book is enough to give me the trembly trembles." I shivered to prove my point. "Ooo locker alert!" I exclaimed and pinched the end of Josie's cardigan to pull her towards my locker./p

"As I twiddled the lock on my locker, Josie leaned against the other as she said, "I-I'm s-sure you'll b-be just fine. Mr. Monroe is-is usually understanding." She replied and once my locker clicked open, I turned to Josie with a smile to see her friend, Otto, coming towards us. He walked with a goofy swagger – his hair falling over his eyes. When he reached us, he rested a casual arm over Josie's shoulder.

"Hello, you." I greeted him with a cheerful smile as I closed my locker.

"Hey! You guys busy? Am I interrupting? I'm interrupting, aren't I?" I couldn't help but pause at his strange yet comical awkwardness…feel memories of Fitz blossom up inside my mind…. and as I looked at Josie and Otto, the way they looked at each other – cared for each other, it was as if I was looking through a memory mirror – at what I once had. I couldn't help but suddenly wonder why I could no longer have what they do. What had I done that was so bad that I had my best friend taken away from me, my mama? I could feel those dark feelings nibble at my heart – bite at it, rip at it as the prickling in my eyes magnified. No, I shook my head as I tried to shake away those feelings, feelings I didn't want to possess in public.

"Nope." Josie popped, brining me back to the conversation.

"So, Willa what's, what? You liking it here?" He asked and I nodded with an enthusiasm I wasn't sure was fake or real.

"Yes, it's lovely here." I said without hesitation. "And it's so nice to meet both of you." My words honest in their meaning.

"Well, you know, we just want to make you feel welcome…to feel at home…unless you don't like your home, then that's not what we want." I shook my head at this with a little smile. "So, what's your favorite color, what do you do for fun, look for in a man," I rose an eyebrow as he tried to slip that in unnoticed, "we wanna hear it…uh… hear it all."

"I stared back at the two of them, startled by their sudden interest in me.

"Jeepers." I exhaled, not knowing what to say. "Everyone wants to know about me, huh?"

"Well, not a lot happens in the small town of Forks. Your sister and you are pretty big news." Josie said and I shook my head once more.

"We're not really." I told her shyly, adverting my eyes to the floor. I had never received such attention at my previous schools. It wasn't that I didn't want it, I liked it – I loved meeting new people. Everybody has so many different and interesting stories and whenever they decided to open up, to reveal a mystery that now became ours to share – my ear were always ready to listen, to discover.

"Lifting my gaze up, my pupils widened slightly at the sight of my cousin. I could feel myself relax; the small hands clasping my veins loosened as Bella approached. She was with a short, yet not shorter than I, girl. Her hair was voluminous, curly and brown – bouncing as she walked beside my younger cousin. When Bella's eyes captured sight of me, I watched as she loosened a sigh before quickening her pace. She jogged towards us – a hand holding onto the single strap of her bag before she enveloped me in a one-arm hug.

"I felt her reluctance when I slowly pulled away and regarded her with worried eyes. As I introduced my cousin to Otto and Josie, I kept my arm around her waist in a gentle yet soothing gesture. I was the older one – her protector and from the moment I saw the worry, the anxiousness glazing her eyes I knew I had to get her, to get us, out of this claustrophobic building.

"After saying goodbye to our new friends, I interlocked my arm with Bella's and made our way into the beckoning forest. Taking my arm out of Bella's, I bent down and took off my tights and shoes – placing them in my bag before craning my neck over my shoulder to smile at a bewildered Bella.

"I tried to discover," I began – my bare feet kissing the soil, the raw skin of the earth as we walked deeper into the forest. "In the rumor of forests and waves, words that other men could not hear," I kept my voice delicate, fragile as I walked in-between trees with my hand caressing their trunks. "And I pricked up my ears to listen to the revelation of their harmony – Gustave Flaubert." I paused; resting my cheek against the naked bark as my fingers tickled the tree's spine. Forests are truly the most magical of places. They are a labyrinth of mystery, a gateway to the impossible – to turn the things of dreams, the things of nightmares into reality.

"I nuzzled my nose against the bark; breathing in its deep sent as if it were a drug. Craning my neck over my shoulder once more, I smiled at my cousin who now had her arms crossed as she shivered slightly in the cold. "Come on, you." I said cheerfully before pushing myself of the tree and skipping through the trees. I skipped, skipped with the wind in my hair and the trees a blur beside me as I went. My hair flapped like a tail as I moved, as I jumped over logs and balanced on fallen tree trunks. It was only when I heard a loud thump behind me that I whirled around in surprise.

"Bella had tripped. Her hair covered her face as she hoisted herself off the ground and brushed the dirt from her pants. I bit my lip, suddenly feeling horrible that I had went so fast, that I had done what I used to do with Fitz, with my mama as they knew how to keep up. Fitz and Mama and shared my love for the wilderness, they had nurtured that love of mine, encourage it. But as I looked at my cousin, I knew then she wasn't mama, she wasn't my Fitz.

"I…I'm so sorry Bella." I said quickly, dropping my bag onto the damp soil before helping her.

"She shook her head, "I'm fine." Bella told me, her eyes firm as she spoke. "But hey, let's not go any further." I nodded in agreement, trying to ignore the way my bones sang at the sight of the unexplored forest.

"Alright." I told her with a soft smile before helping her take her bag off. "We- we can just relax here. Y-you know? Away from the c-crowds?" I asked, my voice taking on the tone of a child as my eyes became foolishly wide.

"Yea, we can stay here." Bella replied before plopping down onto the floor and resting her back against the tree. I frowned, turning my back to her as I looked at the small stream that cut the forest in half. As Bella recited her day to me, her classes and the people she had met, I dripped my toes into the water. It was icy, but I didn't mind. As my cousin talked, I waded out further into the water until the transparent water nipped the tips of my shins. Bending down slightly, I pressed my hand against the water and watched as it moved softly around my outstretched fingers. I pulled my hand out of the water and observed the droplets, both transparent and opaque, fall as if they were snatched my gravity. I could easily stay here all day and as my eyes drifted from my hand to the stream, I was overwhelmed with the temptation to dive into the water.

"Don't even think about it." I heard Bella say bluntly from behind me. I turned and smiled at her.

"It's hard not to." I tell her honestly – imaging the water kissing my skin, moving around me like shifting velvet. "How long do we have till our next class?" I wondered aloud, flicking my gaze up to the sky.

Seeing my thoughts glimmer in my eyes, Bella shook her head. "Not enough to do what you're thinking." She said and gave me a stern and disapproving look as I flicked my eyes back to hers. I tried to plead with my youthful features, to mold them into a childlike begging face. But Bella simply shook her head and voiced her logical reasons on why I shouldn't dive into the water.

Sighing, I pushed away that child inside me, silenced the singing in my bones and got out of the water. We sat there for a little while, just talking. But unlike with Fitz, unlike with mama there were pauses. As we talked there was the presence of long pauses, pauses that had not existed when I conversed with Fitz and Mama. I hadn't seen Bella in such a long time and I knew it would take a while for our relationship to become what it once was, for the pauses to vanish and chatter to dominate.

When we decided to venture back into the school, after we had paid for our lunch I did not get the chance to find Otto and Josie before Bella's new friends hurried us to their table. I searched the cafeteria with my eyes as an Asian boy squeezed in-between Bella and I, draping his arms over our shoulders. I stiffened at the sudden touch in surprise and looked to Bella who showed the discomfort in her eyes that I was able to hide.

"Mike, you met my home girls Bella and Willa?" The boy said with smugness binding his words.

The boy named Mike, raised an eyebrow as he looked apologetically towards my sister and I. "Oh? Your home girls?" He asked with a hint of sarcasm when suddenly a boy grabbed the back of his chair and leaned in towards my cousin. I straightened my back – my protective instincts kicking in as I felt my nerve bubbles burst slowly.

"My home girls." The boy says before giving Bells a peck on the cheek, pulling out Mikes chair and running away. I craned my neck over my shoulder as I watched with amusement as the two boys chased one another out of the cafeteria. I scrunched my nose up in confusion, not remembering boys behaving that way in India.

"Ugh, oh my gosh." Jessica breathed and she shifted closer to Bella and I. "It's like first grade all over again, and you're the shiny new toys." She spoke as I shoveled a forkful of lasagna into my mouth. To my surprise, it was delicious – the taste igniting my taste buds. I smiled awkwardly at Jessica, my cheeks slightly puffed out due to the amount of food in my mouth. Jessica recoiled – her lips pursed as she stared at me judgingly. I swallowed quickly, having no time to savor the taste as I gathered myself.

"My lips parted to ask Jessica a friendly question when suddenly a flash blinds me – dark spots ghosting over my eyes as I tried to peer through them. After rubbing my eyes with small fists, I was able to recapture my vision to see a small, sweet looking girl with beautifully shaped almond eyes and jet-black hair. In her hands she held a camera, an apologetic look molded her features.

"Sorry!" She gestured to her camera, "I needed a candid for the feature."

I gave her an understanding smile than soon tightened when I felt Eric lean into me. "Features dead, Angela. Don't bring it up again." He snapped, causing me to jerk in surprise at his harsh tone. I narrowed my eyes at him as he patted my back, rubbing his hand up and down my purple cardigan. "I got your back babies." My pupils widened in shock as he winked. My lips parted to speak, to spark a retort but before I could think of anything he quickly exited the situation.

I watched as Angela adverted her gaze to her camera with sad eyes. I could feel my heart droop in sadness for her. "It's okay, I guess we'll just run another editorial on teen drinking." She murmured and before I could restrain myself, I dropped my fork and reached out to place my hand over hers. Surprise glimmered in her eyes at my action.

"It's alright," I said gently – soothingly. "I'm sure that brilliant mind of yours will come up with something else, be able to write something else." I told her with a soft enthusiasm – encouragement. She gave me a small smile, the corners of her lips twitching upwards as I removed my hand to resume eating./p

"Sorry." Bella said as she pushed her food around in embarrassment. "There's always eating disorders, or Speedo padding on the swim team."

The twitching of Angela's lips blossomed into a full smile as ideas ignited within her mind. "Wait!" She exclaimed with excitement. "That's a good one." I nodded in agreement, a timid smile pulling at the corners of my lips as I ate, as I gobbled up the delicious food on my plate. It was only when I had finished my meal that I noticed Bella had barely touched hers. My eyes frowned with concern – with worry. I turned towards her, licking my lips before parting them to ask if she was all right. But before I could part them, I paused when I saw her attention was transfixed somewhere else. I followed her gaze with my own and as my eyes followed hers, my pupils widened slightly when I realized what she was looking at. My cousins gaze was fixed on the table furthest from ours – a table that held four of the most physically, beautiful people I had ever seen, including my tutor - Jasper.

I felt Bella's warmth as she leaned into me, her shoulder brushing mine as she asked, "who are they?"

My eyes shifted to Jasper as Bella spoke her question. My lips parted in the tiniest of motions but no words escaped my throat. I quickly closed my mouth and shook my head with a timid smile to confess my bewilderment.

"They are the Cullens." I drifted my eyes up to Angela. She had abandoned her camera, her food and her previous ideas as she stared at the Cullens with dreamy eyes. I narrowed my eyes slightly, puzzled at how someone could look at someone else with such a look if they did not know them on a personal level. Or perhaps she did? It was personality that captivated me, not appearance, not status but the heart – the soul.

Jessica leaned in; her eyes were just as big as her hair as excitement bubbled within them. " "Doctor and Mrs. Cullen's foster kids. They all moved here from Alaska two years ago." She kept her voice hushed yet the excitement was evident as she spoke of them as a group – not individuals. I felt my eyebrows furrow as I looked at Jessica, at her willingness to gossip in such a manner.

"They kinda keep to themselves." Angela added, her voice but a bare whisper as her eyes continuously drifted from their table to her empty plate.

"They are…very nice-looking." My cousin said, trying to keep her voice casual as a blush crept onto her cheeks.

Yes!" Jessica agreed. "But they're all together though." I tilted my head to the side in confusion – a prompt for her to explain although it was none of my business to know. "The blonde girl, Rosalie and the big dark-haired guy, Emmett…they're a thing. I'm not even sure that's legal."

Before I could process her words, Angela quickly added, "yea, but Jess, they're not actually related."

Jessica shook her head, "but they live together, it's weird." I was surprised at her statement, at her judgment. Who was she, who were we, to judge whether or not their relationship with weird? Jessica must have seen my disapproval, my cousin's confusion so she quickly continued on. "Okay, um, the little dark hair girl, Alice," she paused allowing Bella and I to quickly glance over our shoulders to see who she was addressing My eyes quickly found the girl in question and just as my eyes found Alice's, she found mine. Her two eyes – a mirror shade of Jasper's, were wide, too wide as she stared at me, into me. They held an expression of shock, of confusion, of frustration. Her hand was in Jasper's as he caressed her small hand in soothing movements. His lips were close to her ear as he whispered and the more he whispered, the more her eyes relaxed – her features become naturally delicate. A small smile waltzed across her lips at something Jasper had said and her eyes left mine. The way she stared into Jasper's eyes and he into hers – it was endearing, inspiring in the way that I hoped, that I wished, someday someone would look at me like that – with love.

I turned my attention back to Jessica who seemed to be bursting, as if her soul, her ideas would suddenly explode within her. "Well, she's really weird." She said with a smile that made me recoil from her.

"Who are the other two?" Bella quickly asked, placing a hand on my knee.

"Oh, well the one with the reddish-brown hair, that's Edward. The one with the honey-blonde hair, he's Jasper." I couldn't help but smile inwardly at the way Jessica and Angela stared at the two people in question. Their cheeks bloomed with red as their eyes glazed over in a dreamy, no – longing state. "They're both gorgeous, of course, but don't waste your time." Jessica said, anger seeming to coax her words. "Neither of them dates, although for a while everyone thought that Alice and Jasper were together but apparently they are just really close." I peeked over my shoulder as I looked back at Alice and Jasper, at the way they looked at one another, touched one another - I couldn't help but feel disappointed that they weren't together. But the more I thought about it, the more admiration I had for the two of them – to have a best friend who they loved so dearly, too dearly that they would never risk any possibilities of destroying that – and in that way, I understood.

"Anyways, none of the girls here are good-looking enough for them, not like I care though." Her words were sour and I knew then why she was frustrated – why she was so willing to talk about them. Seeing the smirks on both Jasper and Edwards faces as they looked towards Jessica explained it. Both of them had denied her.

As the conversation dwindled down, I decided to start on my Environmental Science Homework. It was one of my favorite subjects – a class that opened your mind to the raw history of how the earth, how the world and everything in it became the way it is now. It fascinated me so, so as I worked on my homework I felt no reluctance like I would in my other subjects, simply joy.

It was only when I felt a hand rest on my shoulder that I looked up from my work and into the deep brown of my cousin's eyes. "Hello, you." I said with a soft smile.

"First day and you're already doing homework?" She gestured to my papers with her eyes, a look of amusement flickering across her face.

I shrugged, smiling with my eyes and lips as I did so. "I can't help it." I told her childishly, "it's just so, freeing." I shrugged once more, nudging my cousin in a playful manner.

"Hey, I meant to ask. What did the lady at the office want?" Her question hadn't caught me off guard. From the moment, I had been told I was having a tutor I had prepared – prepared an answer for my cousin - a lie. I shrugged casually before answering. "She just wanted to talk to me about my homework scores. My history teacher thinks I can do better here if I just focus more… so they've allowed me more access to the library after school." I felt guilt nip at my heart but I tried to ignore it as I spoke. The reasons coaxing out my lie was a plethora, a plethora that only made my guilt flicker within me instead of igniting. I didn't want Bella to know I had a tutor; I didn't want her to know my weaknesses. For my whole life I had been the protector – the strong one. My little cousin knowing that I needed help…it would be a weakness, a weakness I didn't want her to know I had. And as I looked at Jasper, after I met him and knowing of the gossip, of the attention that surrounded him – I was afraid that him being my tutor would only magnify the attention of me, on him.

Bella had believed my lie, and just as the bell ran to single the end of lunch I gathered my things, said farewell to my cousin and her friends before making my way to PE. As I walked, I noticed the way people stared at the Cullen family, the way they gawked and chased them with their eyes. So when the Cullens look my way I made sure that I did none of those things.

As they stared at me as I walked passed their lockers I smiled. I gave them a little wave, a way of saying I did not judge them – did not isolate them into any social category. Although they did not smile back I did not waver my grin nor drop my wave. No one deserved to be judged – to be isolated and that was what my smile and wave promised – never judge, never isolate - only accept.