Disclaimer: I do not own Tolkien's lovely world nor do I make money off of it...
Ch 16: The Weight of Grief
After Makalaurë's latest meltdown, Nelyo decided he and his brothers would be moving back to the Fëanorion side of the lake. The move set Makalaurë's healing back more than Nelyo was comfortable with. His fever came back and he gained a nasty, wet cough that lingered for many weeks. His nightmares also ramped back up again to the point that it was nearly impossible for him sleep through the night. He would wake up in a panic and if he didn't quickly find something deeply familiar to anchor himself with, it would take hours to draw him out of himself and convince him that he was, in fact, safe. To forestall this result, his brothers took turns sitting with him while he slept.
Some bore the responsibility better than others. Surprisingly enough, impatient Curvo rose to the occasion, willing to sit for hours with Makalaurë and calm him when he woke. The smith admitted privately to Nelyo that he had lots of practice with Tyelpe. The young Elf had witnessed his mother's and younger sister's brutal deaths at Alqualondë. Apparently he had been suffering from nightmares for years and because of that Curvo had become quiet adept at calming someone after a nightmare.
Makalaurë continued his slow recovery. It often felt that for every two steps forward, he took one back. Despite Makalaurë's slow progress, Nelyo felt exhausted and defeated. It was hard to find a good balance between ruling and caring for his brother. He felt guilty about his time away from his royal duties while he was caring for Makalaurë. His other brothers and advisors tried to convince him that it really was fine, that they could handle his absence. Even still, Nelyo felt the guilt clinging to him whenever he put his brothers above duties of the crown. He thought long and hard before coming up with a solution.
It was nearing a year since Makalaurë's rescue when Nelyo abruptly invited Nolofinwë over to their camp. Nolofinwë arrived the next day, concern and unease written on his face. Their greeting was stiltedly cordial. Nolofinwë was trying to figure out why he had been commanded to come before the King. Even more unusual was the fact that he had been ordered to come alone. He sensed no hostile intentions in either the carefully worded message nor the escort Nelyo sent, but he was still wary of what the meeting might entail.
Nelyo was casually dressed with coppery hair unbound in stark contrast to the rich robes and braids that Nolofinwë wore. The older Elf felt very overdressed and embarrassed about it. After the pleasantries were exchanged, Nelyo poured them both drinks. Nolofinwë accepted the goblet graciously. The liquor was a pale pink and smelled invitingly of roses. Nolofinwë took a sip. It was sweet and tasted like honey and something tangy Nolofinwë couldn't identify.
"Good, isn't it?" Nelyo asked, "It's called Mallos or Mellis or some such ridiculous name I believe. Moryo got it when he bartered with the Moriquendi for some supplies to supplement what we already had. This, apparently, is a delicacy."
"So this was it? You called me here to discuss drinks?" Nolofinwë snorted disbelievingly, "May I suggest that next time you call for my eldest or Finderáto instead?"
Nelyo didn't answer the jibe right away. Nolofinwë could tell that something was weighing on his mind, but he waited for Nelyo to answer in his own time. The redhead fidgeted for a moment longer before locking eyes with Nolofinwë.
"I've decided," Nelyo took a deep breath, "I'm giving you the crown."
Nolofinwë choked on his drink, before looking at his nephew in concern.
"I'm sorry what?!" Nolofinwë wasn't sure he had heard correctly. No son of Fëanor would ever give up such a coveted position of power. Maybe this was all some elaborate joke?
"I'm handing over the crown. My attention is needed elsewhere. I feel that I cannot focus on both my brothers and our people," Nelyo sighed, idly swirling his own drink which he had yet to take a sip of.
"Are you sure Nelyo? Couldn't your other brothers keep watch over Makalaurë?" Nolofinwë didn't know why he was trying to convince his nephew to keep the crown. Nelyo gave a quick shake of his head.
"My mind is made up. I'm stepping down. If you don't accept the crown then I will offer it to Findekáno and I know I can guilt him into accepting it."
"You wouldn't do that," Nolofinwë protested, horrified.
"Hmmm, no?" Nelyo shrugged, "You're probably right. I wouldn't do that to him."
Nolofinwë let out a sigh of relief.
"Then I accept," Nolofinwë said, "Are your brother's aware of your decision?"
"Mostly, yes," Nelyo grimaced and unconsciously rubbed his arm where Tyelko had punched him none too gently, "Tyelko and Curvo were particularly vocal against my decision. Pityo, I think, is glad and Moryo could care less. I haven't told Laurë yet because I don't want him to feel like he was the reason."
"But he is, isn't he?" Nolofinwë pointed out.
"Yes, but there's more to it. I've ruled for nearly the past four decades. It has been long enough for me to know that I don't enjoy it. I enjoy leading, but being King was never my dream; that was father's dream. I've got five younger brothers left. Keeping them alive and out of trouble is more than enough responsibility for me. If I am king, my position forces me to put my brother's well being below any mundane squabble and that is not something I can willingly do anymore."
Nolofinwë considered his nephew's words for a moment.
"What you're doing is brave Nelyo," Nolofinwë said, "And also something I would have never expected from one of my brother's sons."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Nelyo raised an eyebrow. Nolofinwë gave a small laugh and clapped Nelyo on the shoulder.
"What I'm saying is you have my respect. Choosing family over power is sometimes a hard choice. There will be days ahead where you regret many things, but don't ever regret this choice."
End.
Quenyan names:
Nelyo/Nelyafinwë/Maitimo/Russandol = Maedhros
Makalaurë/Laurë/Kano/Kanafinwë = Maglor
Tyelko/Tyelkormo/Turkafinwë = Celegorm
Carnister/Moryo/Morifinwë = Caranthir
Curvo = Curufin
Pityo/Pitafinwë = Amras
Nolofinwë = Fingolfin
Findekáno = Fingon
Thank you all for reading. For those who are curious, there is a sequel...
