"Don't."
Santana looked down at where Charlie's head was on her lap and raises a brow as she runs a hand through Charlie's hair, "Don't?" she prompts though she has a sneaking suspicion what Charlie is going to say.
"Don't feel sorry for me, and don't start treating me like a broken child again. It happened and there are probably a lot of things that they did to me that were really fucked up, but I'm here and I'm fine. Sebastian and Blaine are making sure that I have someone to talk to about it, and help me work through it. It helps that sometimes I don't understand what's normal, so it's difficult to pinpoint what they did that was so fucked up."
Santana doesn't say anything for a moment before she sighs, for someone who had been raised by those bastards, Charlie was fairly normal which probably said more about her mental fortitude than anything else. "You know if you ever want to talk to me about what happened to you—"
"I don't," Charlie said leaning into Santana's touch. "I don't actually like talking about it, I do it when I have too like with my therapist. It makes people uncomfortable and then they treat me different. I don't want you to treat me different." When Santana looks ready to protest Charlie pokes her side, "I know you will, that's what people do. Blaine treats me different; I don't mind it because he makes Sebastian be nice to me. I like being treated like I'm normal. Azimio is introducing me to online dating."
Santana blinked at this information, she wanted to press if Charlie was indeed going to be okay with dating, but the idea of Charlie with anyone bothered her. "We've talked about this, Azimio is an idiot and you shouldn't listen to anything he has to say," she said dismissively. "You certainly don't need to try online dating."
Charlie studied Santana for a moment, before she smiles. "That's what Sebastian said, so he's going to find me the perfect plus one to his wedding."
Santana scowled at this, she couldn't tell Charlie not to listen to Sebastian, "Sebastian has questionable taste in men. Don't think I didn't notice all the hair gel that is in Blaine's hair."
Charlie crinkled her nose, "Don't be insensitive, you shouldn't assume that I want a man Santana. Sebastian isn't."
"Sebastian is gay, what does he know about women?"
"That's also insensitive. And you dated him."
"He wishes I dated him. We had sex a few times, he was a bad decision that I made when I was bored and wanted to have sex without putting much effort into it. Also, even a broken clock is right twice a day." Santana sniffed indignantly, and she glances down at Charlie who laughs at this and she shakes her head. She runs her fingers through Charlie's hair once more. "So, you like men and women?" Santana asks.
"No," Charlie stated simply. When Santana taps her nose prompting her for more information, Charlie hesitates for a moment. "I think I like one person. It's complicated though."
It probably wasn't as complicated as Charlie was making it out to be, it generally never was, but still Charlie didn't have a good grasp of societal norms at times, "Are they married or seeing anyone?"
"They aren't married and I don't think they're seeing anyone."
"Do you work with them?" That could also be what made things so complicated, and Sebastian had probably filled her head with rules about workplace romances. "Or for them?"
"They tell me to make my own food all the time."
It takes Santana a moment, she didn't know everyone in Charlie's life. She didn't know Charlie's teammates, she didn't know Charlie's assistant or if Charlie even had one, but she did recognize the fact that Charlie was talking about her. "Oh." She can feel Charlie's eyes searching for a response and she hesitates for a moment. She liked Charlie, and she had a higher tolerance to Charlie then she did with most people but there was so many things that she couldn't ignore. So many red flags. But Charlie deserved an adult answer, "I'm not sure that we should be dating Charlie. I think you like me because I've been kind to you and I feed you."
Charlie studies Santana for a moment, there was a fleeting look of disappointment on her face before she nods at the let down. "I do like you because you were the very first person who was kind to me. I like you more than anyone else because you feed me, but I don't know if it's because 'I love you'. I don't know if I understand what those words mean. I just know that I like you more than anyone else."
Santana swallows, she wasn't sure how to respond to such a declaration, it was touching in a way but that didn't mean that the two of them dating was in any way a good idea. Truthfully, people admitting that they loved her had always made her feel uncomfortable, it was why she had made the bad choice that was Sebastian over and over again. Sebastian would never love her, so she falls back on her usual humor to get her out of the situation. "Well, you always did have questionable tastes," she jokes hoping that it's enough for Charlie. "And you're like my third favorite person."
"Third?" Charlie crinkles her nose. She figured she was in the top two. "Who do you like more than me?"
"Most people who don't eat me out of house and home? And they don't demand that I make them food." When Charlie gives her a look Santana smiles, "Brittany. Mike."
"Mike? You like Mike more than me?" Charlie looks outraged at this and Santana snorts at her.
"I don't have to worry about Mike!" Santana laughs when Charlie puffs out her cheek, clearly offended by this. It was nice it was normal, and even though she had let Charlie down it was clear that they were still going to be okay. Charlie's response had been surprisingly mature. "I mean it could be worse, you could be under Sebastian."
"What number is he?"
"Fifty?" Santana shrugged; she wasn't even sure if she knew fifty people off the top of her head. "Don't give me that look, I was bored and I knew he was never going to fall in love with me!"
"Mike says that I should make good life decisions. You should make better life choices too Santana. It's Sebastian," Charlie said as if she was wiser beyond her years.
"Are you—are you judging me?" Santana's jaw dropped and when Charlie flashes her a smile she rolls her eyes. "At least I didn't dump someone into the Hudson," she smiles and immediately tickles Charlie who wiggles on her lap and tries to pull away.
"He surprised me."
"So, you chose the Hudson?"
"I didn't think about it," Charlie huffed at this.
