Author's Note: Hello my angels! I hope you are doing well and are happy! I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading, reviewing and following this story! Getting over 200 followers was so overwhelming and I can only hope that you enjoy the rest of the story! With that being said...here is the next chapter! It's a rather long one so it'll be broken into two parts! But I hope you enjoy it! I can't wait to know what you think! Much Love, Lisette!
His skin illuminated like a speckled galaxy as we lay underneath that bewildering moonlight, worshipping its absolute tranquility and mystifying promise of magic. I watched him silently, turned my eyes away from the moon and focused on him, on his freckled skin and boney hands that played with strands of grass and grains of dirt. I wasn't sure what the time was, and nor did I care. For all that matter was him and I…Fitz and Willa as we lay like helpless servants underneath the night sky.
"Fitz," I whispered, turning to my side and pressing my body against his arm. The air had become cold, sneakily cold as if some unknown force was looking for ways to push us into that intimate mist that was romantic love.
He turned towards me, a lazy smile pulling at the corners of his lips. His glasses dropped down on the bridge of his nose – allowing his eyes to peak above the glass lenses and look into me with a soft and innocent tenderness. Today was the last day of the holidays before school resumed, and I could tell he was afraid. He was a victim of violence and torment, a prince of intelligence and kindness that had been brutalized for his giving heart. And I could not understand why. He was different…extremely so, but that was what drew me towards him. His mind was a labyrinth of colossal knowledge and I…he fascinated me like no other had ever before. I suppose I had always been drawn to the mysterious and the outsiders…those who were quiet and reserved because in that way…in their silence, I did not know if they were lost in a world of dreams and magic, or if their lips were sewed shut from years of suffering and pain. And for some reason, over time…I realized that it was both.
"Do you know why the moon shines so bright?" He asked, his voice factual as he pressed his glasses further up his nose.
"No," I told him. "But I would love for you to tell me why." I whispered softly.
"Well," he exhaled, his nose twitching before he began. "The moon's surface reflects light from the sun, and yet despite its almighty glow it only reflects three to twelve percent of the sunlight." I smiled at his factual manner, yet his eyes…they were completed glossed over with rapture. "It's as if the moon knows." He then said softly, all matter of fact dissolving in the air between us.
"Knows what?" I promoted, eager to hear whatever he had to say.
"What it feels like to be placed in the light unwillingly." He spoke the words timidly, as if he were afraid to speak them. I reached in-between us, threading my fingers with his. "The moon is a naturally timid creature, a mysterious one. Yet due to another the moon is forced to wear a façade that is not its own. And so, it runs, orbits the world in hopes of capturing it's true form." I gazed up at him with complete intrigue, as if he had hypnotized and claimed my mind as his own possession. Fitz never talked like that. He was always so factual, so focused on logic and research. Never did he become poetic…He released a deep sigh, closing his eyes as he scrunched his face up in embarrassment. "I'm sorry."
I crinkled my nose, confused by his sudden apology that had no need or cause. "For what?" I asked him, feeling his fingers tighten and then loosen around my own.
"That wasn't proper of me." His voice was thick, tight as if filled with regret. I shook my head, my eyes pinching slightly as they narrowed.
"Proper?" I sat up, looming over him as I brushed his stray shaggy hair away from his eyes. "You should never use that word." I told him. "Because there's no such thing. Proper can mean different things to different people. It's a term that is defined by judgement and self-procured perspective. There's no such thing as proper."
Fitz quirked his eyebrows, a sly smile pulling at his lips. "On the contrary, the term Proper can be defined as of the required or correct type or form, suitable or appropriate."
"Exactly!" I told him, "it's a nonsense word. We all have different definitions and perspectives on what is right and wrong. So therefore…the word proper is improper." I told him, smiling down at him as he looked up at me with exasperation.
"I'm not going to win this argument with you, am I?" He raised an eyebrow and I shook my head.
"Nope, I'm afraid not." I chirped, ticking his chin. He squirmed, his chin pressing down against my hand to trap it against his neck. I laughed lightly, using my other hand to tickle him until a burst of laugher shattered his throat. He caught my other hand, using all his strength to pull me against him and roll over me so he had me pinned to the ground. I struggled against him, laughing as he held me and pinned my arms against the grass.
"You may have won that battle, but I think I won this one." He said, looking down at me with huffing breath and a carefree smile. It was so rare to see him like that. To see him without a worry or care or ounce of rigidness. He was always so focused on his study, on doing well in the academics that when he became like this…it was like his heart had opened and spilled this repressed light.
"Maybe." I replied with a smile. But while he was distracted, I managed to snake my foot around his, and with a few clumsy motions…I flipped him over and rolled on top of him. Pinning him to the ground instead. "Or maybe not!" I chimed laughing. He rolled his eyes and I allowed him to push me off him. Brushing himself off I stood up in front of him and recaptured my breath.
Holding my hand out for him, I asked him – "Will you dance with me?"
"Willa…I don't dance." He said factually, his features looking timid and embarrassed as he stared at my outstretched hand.
"Why not?" I countered lightly.
He rolled his eyes, standing so he towered over me. "Because I'm not comfortable with it. I belong in a world of facts and research." He said, looking down at me with those hard eyes of his. "Dance…it's too foreign." I could see the redness of his cheeks blush in timid embarrassment.
I shook my head, smiling as I took his hands in mine and pulled his towards me. "Oh, don't be such a silly goose."
"Willa," He exhaled, turning his head from me as he looked uncomfortable. His hands were stiff in mine, rigid as his fingers did not bend around my own.
"Fitz." I mimicked him, raising an eyebrow that encouraged him to look down at me.
He bit back a smile as I grinned up at him. His eyes flicking back to mine as his chin quivered and he restrained a puff of laugher. "I'm being serious."
"And so am I." I told him softly, feeling his fingers wrap around my own and caress the backs of my hands. "Now," I breathed softly, lowering my voice to a mere whisper. "Wrap your arms around me."
He let out a startled cough. "Excuse me?"
"Fitz, my darling, my angel, my light…I'm afraid you don't have an excuse to be shy around me physically." I told him lightly, biting back a smile as I took in his complete shock.
"I think you'll find I have every reason." He replied defensively, releasing my hands to cross his arms before his chest. He raised a single eyebrow. "Would you like me to list a few?"
"Will it stop us from dancing?" I asked, placing my hands behind my back as I childishly swayed back and forth.
"Well yes –" He stuttered out.
"Then no, tell me tomorrow." I said softly, smiling as I took his hands back in mine. His skin was so soft against mine, so warm as I felt every bone, every hair and freckle that made his skin so beautiful. And as I looked up into his eyes, as I saw them soften and weaken in this breathtaking vulnerability…I, "For now," I whispered, so softly and shyly. "Just feel me."
He stared back at me, differently than he had any other time before. "I don't –"
"Don't think." I whispered, our eyes never breaking as he whispered my name and wrapped his arm arounds me. I gasped as I felt our chests caress, as we slowly moved to that silent melody. It was just him and I…it had been for so long but now, everything had changed. His arms no longer felt weak, no longer felt timid as he held me in his embrace. I had never felt so protected before…like nothing in this world could touch me or him. I could feel my eyes prickle with that salty wetness, feel the tip of nose burn and my heart wither like a rose who's falling petals sought to bury themselves in the heart of another. I rested my head against his chest, closing my eyes as he rested his head on top of mine and he began to hum. Fitz never sang, never whistled or hummed but now…my arms wrapped around him tighter, trying to melt our bodies together as one as…his foot clumsily stepped on mine.
I released a small wince, and before I knew it…he pulled away.
"No, no I can't do this…" He rushed out embarrassed, his eyes looking everywhere but me.
"Fitz." I walked towards him, my eyes wide with concern as he ran his fingers through his hair and tugged.
"I stepped on your foot, I'm sorry I-"
I quickly placed my hands on both sides of his face. Yet he still did not look at me. "Why are you so afraid to let go, to feel?" I asked him, feeling his stiffness claim his body once more.
He raised a finger, clearing his throat before speaking. "If I try one more time, will you forget you ever asked that question?"
"I can't promise forget but…I won't ask you again…for a wee while anyways." I told him honestly. And I did not need to say anything more. He let me wrap my arms around him, let me press my cheek against his chest but it was all wrong. He was so stiff…so shy that his hands barely touched the fabric of my dress
"Stop thinking." I whispered.
"I'm trying." He said through clenched teeth.
"Just feel, let your heart control you…just this once." I whispered, looking up at him. "Just this once," I repeated softly. I took one of his hands in mine, placing our entwined fingers against his chest as we began to sway once more. I felt him relax, felt him become weak in my arms as his eyes melted as his lips quivered.
"Willa, can I ask you a question?" His voice sounded different. It wasn't shy, yet it wasn't confident or factual…it was deep, raw as if it was no longer his mind speaking but instead his heart.
"Of course, you can ask me anything." I replied softly.
"Can…I want…can I kiss you?" We stopped swaying, stopped moving as my heart paused and my lungs forgot to breath. Every part of me was in shock, paralysed in this beautiful and mystifying shock and I…the corners of my lips twitched upwards…but I couldn't speak. My heart had robbed me of all words, and my mind…it was lost…lost as I was in his eyes, mind and heart. For I was his, I wanted to be his. I went up on my tiptoes, and felt him lean towards me, felt that distance begin to close when -
"I mean…I…It's the logical thing to do." The moment Fitz said those words, spoke them with his mind and not his heart, I pulled back.
"Logical?" I exhaled, disappointment and fear and hurt and
"Yes." He said, said so factually.
I shook my head. Tears threatening to spill but no, I couldn't let him see me like that. "What do you mean?" I asked, inwardly cringing at how clipped my words were.
"Well we…"
"Willa!" The sound of my mama's voice echoed through the sky.
"Willa?" The sound of my little cousin's voice pulled me out of that memory. I blinked, unsure why my mind had strayed back to that moment in time as I was confronted with Bella and Edward. They both appeared stiff and nervous, as if they were hesitant about telling something, unsure of what my reaction may be. I noticed Edward's hand holding Bella's, noticed the way he looked at her with such adoration before flicking his eyes to mine. He released her hand, swallowing the forming lump in this throat as he shifted his weight from one foot to the next. He looked increasingly uncomfortable.
"What," I took in a small breath, "is everything alright?" I asked softly, taking a few steps towards him. Edward stiffened, became more solid as he took a step forward. His eyes were soft and tender.
"Willa, there's um, there's something we need to talk to you about." He kept his voice low as he spoke. I nodded, a nervousness creeping up on me as I realized where this would be headed.
"Of course," I said lightly, gesturing to my bed for them to sit. I took a seat on the floor, crossing my legs as I watched Bella sit on my bed and Edward lean against the wall. I began fidgeting with my hands, feel them begin to sweat.
"Well um…" Edward began, his nervousness increasing as he looked off to the side of the room. "Willa," He flicked his gaze back to mine, "My family and I…we're vampires."
And the moment he spoke those words, I knew I could no longer keep in what I knew I should. But I had to tell them the truth…or at least part of it. And so, looking into his eyes, straightening my back…I ever so calmly said, "I know." I could see the shock on Bella's face, see the surprise in Edwards but I did not let them speak, I couldn't and so I quickly continued on. "And there is one thing you need to know about me…I'm not human. I'm...I'm a healer." As I spoke that word…healer…I watched as Edward jolted back in surprise, watched as complete shock molded his features and he…recoiled. Not in disgust, but in fear, in guilt.
I quickly got to my feet, walking towards Edward who backed up against the wall. I didn't understand his reaction…why his body trembled and suddenly…suddenly he took my face in his hands. I could hear Bella's voice in the background, hear her confusion and panic but I was too lost in Edward to hear her specific words. His eyes searched my face, narrowed in on me as his hands trembled against my skin. His grip was firm, tight but then he became gentle, his thumbs caressing my skin as if I was some forgotten memory that could fade in an instant.
"How could I be so blind?" He whispered sharply. "This, you…this all makes sense now." I raised my hands to rest against his wrists as I waited, waited for him to tell me what was going on, what had sparked such a reaction and – "I should have known."
"Should have known what?" I asked, pleaded delicately as I desperately wanted him to speak to me, needed him to speak to me.
"I can't read your thoughts, Alice can't see you in her visions, Jasper can't read your emotions…your eyes, your face, your voice…everything about you screams purity." His hands fell from my face and he collapsed against the wall. He seemed to be breathing rapidly yet I didn't understand why as Vampires had no breath, no need for it. "How long have you known about my family and I?" He asked, his voice still sharp yet a light softness lingered.
"A few days," I stuttered out, trying to remain calm as he ran his fingers through his hair. "But I've always known something was different, that some grain of magic lingered in you and your family."
"How." He shook his head, ignoring my previous statement. He walked towards me and I looked to Bella who still held an expression of surprise, helplessness and…betrayal. I felt guilt nip at my heart, but no…we would have that conversation later. "How do you know?"
"Jasper." I said his name before I could stop myself, before I could…no, I had to tell him. But as soon as I did, I felt as if it was a mistake.
"Jasper?" Edward asked, prompting me to tell him more. He shook his head, disbelief smeared across his features. "Of course." He sighed, "that's why he's always been disappearing, being so secretive."
"I'm sorry." I whispered feebly. "We just wanted something that was…just ours. Something that we could allow to blossom without anybody's influence or watchful eyes. We both felt this connection and I…we…I didn't know what it was. He didn't know and…" I ran a shaky hand through my hair. I hated confrontations. "We -
"I don't need to read your mind to know that you love him." He said, putting his hands in his pockets as he looked me up from head to toe. "I should have seen it. The way you two looked at each other…the way he never spoke of you, did all he could to avoid brining you up in conversation." He shook his head again, smacking his forehead in frustration. I parted my lips, took a step towards him to stop him but he continued on. "But I was too distracted by Bella to notice. The whole family was."
"I'm sorry." I whispered once more, but then…I suddenly felt confused on what I was apologising for. Yes, Jasper and I had kept our relationship a secret. But we didn't do it for the wrong reasons. We just wanted something that was just ours, something that was –
"How old are you?" His question caught me off guard, yet absolute puzzlement painted his features. "How long have you been a healer for?"
"Since the car accident." I exhaled, watching as guilt painted his features. "Why? What's...What's wrong?" I asked innocently.
"You're practically a child…just a little girl." He breathed out, walking towards me as he took me in, drank me in with horrified eyes that were slowly losing their sense of confusion. "No wonder we couldn't smell you, feel your healer's presence...you're still changing, still..." His words were so airy, as if he was speaking his thoughts out loud yet was unaware that he was doing so. "I'm so sorry." He confessed, caressing my cheek with such delicate fingers. Yet it was an apology that frightened me, that…
"What for my lovely?" I asked him, silently pleading with my eyes for him to keep talking. He bit his lip, sparking fear inside me. What was wrong? What did he know that I did not.
"You can't…you have to end this." His voice was pained, weak and vulnerable as his eyes became soft and glossy.
"I…I don't understand." I said softly, placing my hand on top of his as it wiped away my tears. I felt my heart hiccup, felt my breath stutter as fear and uncertainty consumed me.
"You and Jasper, you can't be together." Regret and pain swam in his eyes, but I shook my head…backing away from him as he spoke those words. No, I…I…
"How…how could you say such a thing?" I asked him weakly, wrapping my arms around my body in a protective embrace.
"Because it's wrong. You may have been hiding your relationship with Jasper because you wanted it to blossom without external influences but Jasper, he knows it's wrong. That's why he didn't tell anyone. Because he knows that a love between a Vampire and a Healer…it's more dangerous then you could ever understand." His words sliced through me, like some hand had burst through my chest, ripped my heart out and squeezed it…nails digging into my beating heart and all.
"Then help me understand. Please, tell me, explain it to be because you're right. I don't understand. What is so wrong with a healer and a vampire falling in love? What makes it any different than a vampire and a human?" I asked desperately.
"A lion falling in love with a lamb is not the same as fire and ice intertwining." He said softly, looking away to the floor as he spoke in a timid manner, as if he felt my pain…felt sorry for me. "You're blood…" He flicked his eyes back up to mine. "it's not like human blood. It's so much warmer, so much richer and intoxicating. It burns and consumes until there is nothing left but the ashes of a future you could never have."
"How," I wiped my tears away. Trying to calm myself as I looked up at Edward with now hard eyes. "How do you know this? Have…have healers and vampires been together romantically before? Was it you –"
"No." The word was sharp and vicious. "No," he repeated, yet all venom had gone. The word was now soft and broken, like a withered old thing that had floated into the room. "It was not me. But…" He shook his head. "I shouldn't."
"Please." I walked towards him, my hands trembling before I rested them against his chest. "I would never hurt you or your vampire. You can trust me. Help me." His eyes softened as he looked down at me, as he brushed a stray hair of mine away from my eyes and beheld me. "What are you so afraid of?"
He blinked, startled by the question as if the answer was so obvious. "What am I afraid of?" He repeated breathlessly. "You." My heart hiccupped in my chest. "I'm afraid of you, Willa."
"You have no reason to be." I told him softly, reaching up to caress his cheek. To try and calm whatever was pounding inside him.
"I'm going to tell you a story." He whispered, leaning into my palm. "Will you come with me?" His eyes nervously shifting between Bella and I as he swallowed deeply. I paused, looking at my little cousin and suddenly…I felt so helpless. I had kept this secret from her…and I…I was afraid to go towards her, to comfort her in case she rejected me. Yet as I looked at her, as she looked at me…
"Bells," she shook her head, walking towards me slowly before taking my hands in hers. "I…"
"It's alright." She said, smiling softly. "You had your reasons and well, I get it." My eyes widened with hope at her response, and I couldn't resist a tiny smile, because despite everything…I still had Bella, my darling cousin. I pulled her into my arms. Her body was soft against mine, warm and perfectly human.
"What did I ever do to deserve a little cousin like you?" I whispered in her hair, placing a single kiss against her cheek before she pulled back.
She released a small awkward laugh and her cheeks become an embarrassed rosie pink. "You should go, with Edward." She gestured towards him as he stood against the wall, his hands tightly folded in his pockets.
"Are you sure?" I asked gently, "I promise I won't get him into any trouble."
She laughed lightly, "Just has long as he doesn't get you into any trouble." She gave Edward a pointed look, making him smile as he relaxed slightly. "Just be back before the sun comes up, I'm worried about your sleep patterns."
"I promise." I told her, "Shall we?" Edward nodded in response and after a quick goodbye to Bella, we left the walls of this house and walked towards the darkened forest.
I wasn't sure how long we walked for…silent as fear itched and nipped at our skin. The air was cool, and the stars, despite their glow and shine, seemed like a jury above us. I looked towards Edward as we walked, as he lost himself in his thoughts and fought against that conflict which drummed within him. This story that he wanted to tell me, I could tell it was something he found difficult to share, a secret that was not his to carry nor tell. But as he turned his head to look down at me, I saw an unfamiliar softness in him, a sense or need of him wanting to be a saviour, to be a protective and a warrior and this story…he believed it was the only think that could let him come close to being those things.
"You said you'd tell me a story." I told him softly. I needed to know…needed to understand this pain and agony that ate away at us as the silence became smothering.
"Yes, I did, are you ready?" He asked, placing his hands in his pockets as he looked down at me, as he breathed me in and allowed his eyes to mist over for a few moments.
"I think so." I replied.
He smiled sadly. "Then let's begin."
Once upon a time, a lonely vampire fell in love with a healer, and despite the innocence and purity of their love…it did not end well. The year was 1878, and that winter…when the snow fell heavier than any other and the cold froze the skies and pavements, Lilia Vasiliev, a girl crafted from the purest of starlight…encountered a creature of darkness who was dying from a lonely heart. They met in a hospital…she a nurse and he a doctor, opposites in every way except one. They shared the same philosophy and value for human life and they…despite their differences, craved each other. She knew what he was, and he knew what she was…but they didn't care. They fell in love, became drunk on their love for each other as she slowly healed his heart and he protected hers. They became bound to one another, addicted and consumed and completely wed soul to soul.
He could hear every one of her heartbeats, hear and feel her warm breath against his flesh as it burned him. Her blood, that silky velvet liquid that flowed through her like melted moonlight…it called to him every night, teased him as he fought every day to resist the knocking of the beast that lingered within him. But he never told her, never spoke of the darkness that she inadvertently teased within him. And so, every night as she lay naked and pale in his arms, her pale blond hair spilling over her exposed breasts and closed blue eyes as she slept, he would clench his teeth and drown in her sweet aroma…convincing himself that he was stronger than the monster within him.
Yet one day…one night, when she lay in his arms and he clenched his jaw…she awoke with a start and fluttered her eyelids open. She looked up at him, ran her fingers through his blond hair and asked him what was wrong. She could feel his nails dig into her bare flesh, see his eyes struggle to look into hers as he finally confessed to her his secret.
"My love, try to understand me when I say you torture me." He spoke the words softly, and she…with all her delicate and fragility understood. She knew what he was, what that meant…and so she caressed his cheek, her fingers teasing the corners of his mouth as he became hypnotized by her touch. "Let me be free…just this once…can I feel warm?"
"You won't hurt me…you can't." She whispered to him, leaning up to place a chaste kiss on his lips. It was then that she moved her hair, exposing her neck…that beating pulse that thumped delicately beneath her smooth and milky skin that glowed in the moonlight. "It's alright," she whispered, as he lowered his mouth towards her neck. "You can never hurt me."
And before he could stop himself…before he could think that one last thought…he pierced her skin with his teeth and drank. She arched her body into his, and he…his hands held her gently, caressed her as he drank and filled himself with that sweetness that first exhilarated his insides and then…he felt his whole-body change, felt his body become warm and weak and…he pulled away from her…panting and quivering as he collapsed against her body and stared into those blue eyes of hers. And when she looked into his, when she saw the humanness of him, saw the man and not the immortal prince…she ignored her weakness, ignored her loss of blood for he was calm. He was human…free and warm as her healer's blood morphed him into that 23-year-old boy before he was reborn.
He lifted himself off her, still quivering as he adjusting to this mortal form…to the warmth and tranquil silence as he stared down at his beloved. He no longer felt that beast' knock within him, no longer craved her but instead…simply loved her. He smiled down at her, wide and pure and glee claimed him. They both laughed as they looked at one another, as Lilia rested her hand against his chest and gasped at the feeling of his heartbeat. It was strong, strong and pure and perfectly mortal.
"I can feel your heartbeat." She cried softly, her tears spilling over the rims of her eyes and down her cheeks. "Thump, thump, thump thump." He smiled down at her, wiping away her tears with his nose before placing a kiss against her lips. His lips were warm…softer and gentler and so much more innocent. He seemed timid, as if he was unexperienced and nervous…like a young boy. For he was just that, and he…he loved it. He released a long warm breath…his oxygen kissing her face and causing her smile to widen. He felt free…felt solace.
"I don't want to go." He whispered, the human in him whispered. "I…I don't want to change back." Tears blossomed in his eyes, tears he had not cried since the day he was made into a vampire. And Lilia, loving him above herself and all others…knew that she could not let him suffer. And so, despite the harm it did her…despite killing her a little bit more each time he drank from her…. she changed him into a human as often as she could. The effect would only last a single day. And the time in-between changes were a week or two. She lived of his happiness, of his humanness that he longed for…
It is impossible for a vampire and a healer to produce offspring…but a healer and a human…it was a year after Lilia began changing him that she fell pregnant with his child, that he returned home from work and was greeted by his lover with her hands resting on her belly and a soft toy teddy on the kitchen table of their home. They had never felt such happiness before…such sense of feeling complete and fulfilled. Yet having this child inside her…she could no longer change him, not until she gave birth to their child.
His craving for her returned, as that knocking of the beast inside him turned to screaming and trashing as she and his unborn child lay next to him. Their scents saturated him, coated him whole as he heard not one, but two heartbeats of purity. Two healers who were bound to him through love and DNA…
On a summer's night, when the heat sweated through glass windows and boiled the air dry…Lilia stared up at her lover's brokenness as they lay in their bed…sheets gone as she pressed her naked body against his too cool herself and their unborn child. She could see how he suffered, how he fought every day to accept what he was and resist the darkness within him. He trembled over her, his hands quivering as they caressed her cheeks and ran down in-between her breasts before resting on her stomach.
"My love, try to understand me when I say you torture me." He whispered. "I am at your feet, as I gaze across the chasm that divides you from me as your humble servant." For his craving of her did not only come from that creature that lurked beneath his frozen porcelain skin, but it came from her being his salvation. He needed to drown in her purity, in her goodness as it reminded him of what he wanted to be…of what he could be. Yet he hated himself, loathed what he was despite her love for him. He wanted to be mortal, to be a creature of the light and the stars and the sun. He envied her, loved her, worshipped her…
"Carlisle," His name was so sweet against her lips, so dainty and fragile as his name floated in the heated air between them.
"What do you see in me?" He asked her, complete raw confusion painting his features.
"I saw a broken saint, an immortal prince of righteousness and purity and loneliness trapped in a body that he did not wish was his. I see a warrior, a –" He shook his head at her words, closing his eyes.
"Your blindness is slowly killing me…. for I'm not that. I'm a monster, yet you treat me like a man." Lilia shook her head, kissing the tip of his nose as he opened his eyes once more.
"Because you are." She told him softly. "Just because your labelled as a vampire…does not mean your soul or heart is tied to the stereotypes that come with a title like that. Because despite being a vampire, you are the furthest thing from it. You are a healer, my healer, my prince, my warrior…my man."
She brushed her lips against his, felt him succumb to her as he pressed his body against hers gently. "Tell me you love me." He whispered against her lips.
"I love you." She told him in-between kisses, each motion soft yet desperate with need and love and passion.
"Tell me you want me." He asked her, kissing the corner of her mouth to allow her to speak.
"I always want you." She whispered, running her fingers through his hair.
"Tell me you need me. Tell me I'm forgiven and say you'll always be mine and I'll always be yours. Tell me that I'm not a monster…tell me…tell me…" His words became rushed as he fell against her, burying his face against the crook of her neck as she held him. For if he could weep then he would be crying, and if he could breathe…he would be gasping.
"I have nothing to forgive you for," She whispered into his hair, "I'll always be yours and you will always be mine. You are not a monster, you're…" She continued to comfort him, to bare her soul naked and vulnerable to him as she held him and told him what she thought of him, of how she loved him and…he pulled away from her…his lips so close to her neck…his teeth..." you won't hurt me." She told him…" You can never hurt me." For his suffering had become her own…and maybe…just maybe…she could change him and he would pull away just in time…he would know when to pull away, when too…. he pierced her skin with his teeth, sucking and draining her and gripping her body against his. She felt her pulse weaken, felt her healer's blood bubble and pop and sparkle within him. She knew he had enough…knew their child was still alright and perfectly healthy but…he didn't stop. She felt his grip tighten on her, felt his nails dig into her flesh as his love turned to hunger and he lost control.
"Carlisle." She whispered, trying to push him off her, trying but was too weak…she felt her pulse fading, felt her child's pulse weaken…"Please…please," She begged, yet her voice was too fragile, too weak as he drained her like a meal rather than a lover. "Please, remember…you're…you're…" her heart crumbled, and her lungs withered…"you're not a monster." And whilst he continued to drink from her, continued to drain her blood into him…he had not realized that his lover was dead in his arms, that his unborn child had passed with their mother and –
"He stopped drinking before he fully drained her. The only way a vampire can become permanently mortal is if they drain a healer completely. But Carlisle…he managed to stop himself just before…." Edward's throat was raw from his speech…raw and dry and pained as we both stopped walking…this strange and threatening silence consuming the darkened sky. I didn't know what to say, did not know what to think…I could feel Edward's fear, feel his pain and guilt and anguish as if it were my own.
I laced my fingers with his, my touch so delicate yet he pulled away…pulled away so quickly as if I had hurt him. "I…I'm so sorry." I whispered feebly. What was I supposed to say to a story like that? What could I say? I felt my heart call out to Doctor Cullen, felt it cry and scream for him as I clenched my teeth and looked up to the stars. Was she watching, this Lilia that had held his heart? Was she now safe, safe and free with their unborn child in the skies above?
Tears fell down my cheeks, I had to see him…needed to despite what anyone said. "You can't." Edward whispered, guessing what I had thought. "He can never know I told you."
"Does," I swallowed deeply. 'Who else knows of this story?"
"Just my family, although we do not talk about it." He took a step towards me, breathing in deeply as if he were searching for my scent. "It'll only become more dangerous." He whispered, resting his hand against my cheek. 'The older you become, the more your blood matures and blossoms into that feverish healer's aura…you cannot go down this path with him." His fingers ran through my loose hair as he sighed, as he felt its softness against his hard skin.
"It may be different." I whispered, feeling this hope inside me. "Jasper isn't Carlisle and I am not Lilia. We are two separate people, two people with different minds and hearts and souls that are not bound to the same fate."
"You don't know that." He shook his head.
Yet I took a step forward, strengthening my voice as I felt and believed the words that I was about to say. For I know knew the risk, I knew what could happen…how complicated and dangerous this love could become. But as I saw Jasper in my memories, as I saw his heart lay bare before me in my quivering hands… "I do know that." I told Edward strongly. "I have to."
"And what about my family? When your scent becomes too much? What about me?" He scoffed, his chest expanding as he tried to appear threatening. I felt that danger that rolled of him, felt his warning and hints at the consequences. "Love only strengths that scent. If you become a part of our family, if we love you like a sister, like a daughter…things could become very dangerous. We could hurt you, kill you and not even know it or want it." His words were venomous on purpose, sharp as they slithered out like the tongue of a snake. "I am the face of death standing in front of you. Open your eyes and see it, see what we are."
"Stop that." I took a step closer. "Stop this. I know what you're doing, and I know that you are trying to protect your family and me but your wrong. You can't hurt me, because I won't let you. I won't be blinded by what Lilia was, won't be consumed in that feverish desperation and need. From what you told me about Carlisle's story…it's different to Jasper and I's. It's"
"It's not." He interrupted. "Jasper has that same lonely heart, has that same search for salvation within him. He is exactly like how Carlisle was and –"
"And no. Jasper is not like that because two people cannot be identical. Yes, we may have similar experiences and emotions yet no two are the same. The way we think, the way we process and understand things…it's different. He's different. And from how Carlisle has grown, he's different. You all are."
"You don't know that." He said, his words softer as he trailed his fingers down my arms and took my hands in his. "Can you feel how cold I am? Feel how strong I am?" His grip on my hands tightened and I couldn't help but wince in pain, wince as I felt his fingernails dig into me and break my flesh apart. "I could kill you now if I wanted." He pulled me towards him, our chests colliding as he stared into me with cold and threatening eyes…with hunger.
"And what do you want?" I asked him softly, pulling my hands away and tossing my hair over to one side to reveal my pulse. "Go ahead." I challenged, tilting my neck towards him. His hands shook as he gripped my shoulders, as his mouth parted and lowered down towards my bare flesh. Yet he did not bite me, he couldn't and I knew it. He flicked his eyes to mine. Seeing my challenge and what I was showing him.
He swallowed, pushing me away causing me to stumble back as he turned his back on me and ran his fingers through his hair. "Is there anything I can say to change your mind?" He asked helplessly.
He looked over his shoulder. "Is there anything I can say that will change yours?" I repeated back at him. He shook his head. "I know you said I can't tell Carlisle but I…" He narrowed his eyes, asking me not to but I had to. "Please. I need to see him. There is no use for these lies and secrecy anymore. We need to talk about this, because in the end this is so much bigger then you and I in this forest."
He nodded in understanding. "No, you're right. You should talk to Carlisle tonight. I'll take you, I suppose it's time all this all came out, even my relationship with Bella. It's time." I could hear the fear in his voice, and before I could stop myself I walked towards him and took him in my arms. He held me against him, ran his fingers through my hair as we comforted each other in the moonlight and stars. "I'm sorry." He whispered into my hair. "But I'm afraid that our future may be darker then you expect."
As we approached the Cullen's house, I felt Edward's fingers brush mine. And so, we paused, looked up into each other's eyes and held that moment. We were both afraid, both timid and hesitant as we knew that everything was about to change. His eyes softened as he gave me a hopeful smile, a smile that was vulnerable and helpless, that wished and dreamed and desired, a smile that was rare. My fingers tightened around his, shivered in his palm as he raised our joint hands and placed them in-between our chests. As he made that unspoken promise of protection and understanding.
"Together." He whispered.
"Together." I whispered.
And so, we let our hands fall, let them sway by our sides as we walked up the steps and towards the door. Opening it with a soft click, he placed his spare hand on the small of my back, allowing his hand to lightly graze the fabric of my dress in a silent way to encourage me forward. The house was lit up, as if it was not the night but instead a day swimming in those peak hours of noon and sunlight. There were so many windows, so much space as I walked ahead of him and took it all in. It was beautiful…a haven where they did not have to hide, did not have to pretend.
I looked over my shoulder at where Edward took off his shoes and placed them neatly by the door. He was stalling, for there was no shoe rack or other shoes present by the door. An unnecessary action. He titled his head up, gesturing to the upper floor where sweet laughter and chatter filled the air.
"Shall we?" He asked quietly. I nodded, following him to the base of the stairs. He was so light on his feet that no sound was made and I…being the dancer I was, tried to be as light and dainty as I could as I followed him up the stairs and towards the source of the chatter and laughter. I remained behind him as we walked down the corridor, as he kept his hand behind his back so if I needed to take it, it was there. We stopped before we rounded the corner, paused as he looked behind him and gave me that one last encouraging smile that blossomed my hope and faith and enteral optimism to emerge. "Ready?"
"Always." I whispered back, the corners of my lips pulling upwards as he rounded the corner and stepped into the living room. The moment we emerged, all eyes went to us. Yet I did not cower. I stood by Edwards side, stood straight and hopeful with my fingers playing with the hem of my dress.
The first pair of eyes I met were Jasper's. He had been sitting on the couch next to Alice as he read and smiled at whatever she had been telling him. Yet when his eyes captured sight of me, when he took me in and saw my nervousness and fear…he placed his book down beside him and stood…stood so quickly and suddenly that everyone looked to him. Worry glazed his eyes, surprise and confusion and need as he restrained himself from walking towards me. My lips parted weakly as I fought the urge to go to him, to wrap my arms around his torso and kiss his pale skin. Alice looked up at him in confusion, Emmett who was leaning against a piano whistled and Carlisle and Esme beheld us with deep confusion. It was when I met the eyes of Rosalie that I saw something different…something raw and deep and sensitive, some strange sense of understanding as she looked at me from where she sat at the piano.
'Edward." Carlisle breathed, after sharing a brief look with his wife. "What's the matter?"
"We need to talk." Edward said, looking down at me. "Willa's a healer and she and Jasper.. they are romantically involved and…so are Bella and I."
Author's Note: Hello my lovelies! So here is part 1! I hope you enjoyed it! I can't wait to hear what you think so please review! I hope that you are all excited for part two! I love you all with all my heart! The world needs more love, so let's spread it along with happiness, hopes and dreams! Until next time...Much Love, Lisette!
Review Responses:
Arkytior's Song: Hi! Oh my goodness, bless your heart! That is so sweet of you to say! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I can't wait to see what you think! Much Love, Lisette
Littlecosma001: Hi! Thank you so much for your beautiful review! I honestly don't know how to thank you...you make my days shine so much bright and you seem like such a rare and beautiful person! That makes me so happy that you think so! That's what the main purpose of that chapter was, to take a deeper look into her struggles and not glossing over anything! As to why Willa and Jasper have been sneaking around...I hope this chapter answer's that for you! It is no? There's a lot of struggles to come but so many beautiful moments too that will only make the relationships grow so much stronger and deeper! I'm so happy that you liked the moment between her and Carlilse! They are going to have a very special and deep bond, especially after what was revealed in this chapter about Carlilse's past and all! I hope you liked this scene between Fitz and Willa too! I've had it in my head since chapter one! As for Rosalie and Willa...I have something really special planned for them two! N'aww you're such a sweetheart! I absolutely adore your reviews! I truly mean it when I saw they bring such warmth and sunlight into my days! Thank you so much and I truly hope you enjoy this chapter! I can't wait to see what you thought of it! Much love, Lisette!
connnieee: Thank you so much for your beautiful review! It made me so happy to read! I truly hope you liked this chapter and are excitied for what is to come! As for Willa and that characteristic...she does having a growing journey to go on so she's far from perfect! But the whole point is for her to grow and struggle and become so much stronger and discover herself! I hope it is oki and I'm so sorry if it's not truly. I'm trying my best! That's so sweet of you to say about my writing! I'm so shy and always question my skills so hearing you say that means so much to me! Oh, I am actually Ukrainian but I grew up all over because of my parents work! Where abouts are you from? I can't wait to see what you think of this chapter! Much Love, Lisette
BelguimBear: Hiya! N'aww that's so sweet of you to say! Your review truly made my heart flutter! I don't know how to thank you! You seem like you have such a beautiful and gorgeous heart! I truly hope that you like this chapter as well and i can't wait to see what you think! Much Love, Lisette!
