Chapter 23: Rollercoaster
It was 9:15 pm when Sam slipped into the room, quietly closing the door behind him. He paused to glance at the bed and then made eye contact with Deeks, who was still standing on the other side of the bed. "He asleep?" he asked softly.
Deeks looked at Sam through raised eyebrows and shook his head negatively.
Sam's eyes narrowed when he took another look at Callen and he began quickly making his way around to where Deeks was standing. "Who put him so close to the edge of the bed?" he asked with a hint of alarm in his voice.
Deeks took a big step to the side to allow the protective ex-SEAL some space. "No one. I mean, he put himself there."
Now tilting his head to one side, Sam continued studying his partner. "He turned over by himself?"
Kensi got up from the couch and went to the bedside, opposite Sam and Deeks. "Yeah," she confirmed. "Not long after you left, he started hurting really bad. Before we had time to react, he grabbed hold of the rail and pulled himself over on his side."
"We called the nurse," Deeks explained. "She said he was having muscle spasms in his hip. It was pretty intense for a while. Don't think his nurse wanted to move him once the pain finally let up."
Sam's features softened. He squatted down beside the bed so that he was face-to-face with G.
It was obvious by Callen's labored breathing, and the weariness in his eyes, that his concentrated effort to suppress his pain over the past hour had taken its toll – he was on the verge of losing the battle.
"Hey, G." Sam waited until Callen made eye contact with him. "Are you comfortable like that?"
After a brief pause, Callen lightly shook his head negatively.
"You want us to help move you so you're not up against this rail?"
G closed his eyes and shook his head "no" again.
Sam and Kensi exchanged concerned looks before Sam, once again, focused on his partner. "Can I get you anything?"
Callen's tired blue eyes opened. "Some water?" he replied hoarsely.
"Sure."
"Got it." Deeks said before Sam had time to rise up from his crouched position. Marty took the pitcher from the windowsill beside him and filled the Styrofoam cup. "It's nice and cold," he said while handing the cup to Sam.
"Thanks." Sam positioned the cup at the opening in the rail and held the flexible straw up to Callen's mouth.
After several small sips, Callen released the straw and closed his eyes.
"Was that enough?"
G nodded once and then finally succumbed to the fatigue.
Deeks squeezed behind the big SEAL and came around to where Kensi was standing.
Sam waited a few more seconds, until he was sure his partner was asleep, and then rose to his feet. He let out a breath and mumbled to himself, "Gonna be a long night."
The room was silent for the next few minutes.
Sam glanced at his watch and then looked at Kensi. "You two can go get some sleep. I got this," he said softly.
Kensi bit the corner of her bottom lip. "I know there's nothing I can do, but I don't want to leave him."
"My thoughts exactly," Deeks agreed. "I'd like to stay just a little longer."
Sam gave them an understanding nod.
The three had been taking quietly for fifteen minutes, or so, when Callen flinched in his sleep.
A few minutes later, he winced again. This time the tension did not leave his body. His breaths started coming faster. He shook his head several times and whispered something in Russian.
Sam huffed out a frustrated breath. "Here we go."
Callen's body jerked again, much harder than before, and his eye popped open. His panicked gaze found Sam's eyes. "Sam!"
"I'm right here, G."
"You've got to get out of here. They'll take you if they find you here."
"Who, G?"
Callen's stress level was increasing by the second. His next sentence was intermingled with Russian words.
"English, G. You have to talk to me in English."
He looked at Sam in confusion and repeated his previous sentence, only with even fewer English words than before.
"Sam," Deeks cut in. "Hetty said he's been hallucinating that he's being held and tortured by the Russian Mafia."
Callen tried to turn over onto his back, struggling against the pillows that were tucked in behind him.
Kensi carefully slid the pillows out, allowing her distressed Senior Agent to roll onto his back.
G appeared even more disoriented when he looked up to see Kensi and Deeks standing there. He raised his head from the pillow. "Go!" he said. "They're coming back. Otravlyayut..."
"Poison!" Marty said abruptly. "I remember he used that word earlier. He told Hetty they were trying to poison him."
Kensi looked down at Callen. Sadness filled her eyes. "He thinks they're going to capture us, too."
Callen swallowed hard, and stopped to get a breath. "They'll try to... make you talk." On the verge of hyperventilating, his head fell back to the pillow. "Otravlyayut..." he repeated.
Sam grasped both of Callen's shoulders, not too hard, but firmly enough to make him look at him. "There's no poison, G. You're in the States."
Callen shook his head several times, as if refusing to believe what he was hearing.
"G. Listen to me. You are in the hospital – in Los Angeles. No one is trying to hurt you. No one's coming after you... or me... or Kensi or Deeks."
With his chest still heaving, Callen began cautiously scanning the room.
"See? You're Okay, G. We're all Okay."
Callen blinked slowly a few times, focusing on slowing his breathing while letting reality sink in.
"You with me, G?"
Callen averted his gaze and then gave a small nod.
Sam felt the tension leave his partner's body. He waited a few more seconds and then removed his hands from G's shoulders.
Still avoiding eye contact, Callen weakly lifted his left arm and crossed his forearm across his face, shielding his eyes from those who were standing around his bed.
Whether hiding unshed tears, or just trying to conceal his emotions, it was obvious that Callen was now at least oriented enough to be uncomfortable with the fear and vulnerability he had just exhibited.
Kensi placed her palm just above G's right knee and lightly patted his thigh. "Callen? You need to get some rest. I'm gonna go now."
The blonde Detective nervously ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah. I need to go, too." Then in a softer voice he added, "Call if you need anything, Sam. See you in the morning."
Sam nodded, and Kensi and Marty quietly exited the room.
With his forearm still covering his eyes, Callen did not move or make a sound for a while. Sam was just beginning to wonder if his partner might have fallen asleep again, when G grimaced and faintly moaned.
When Callen's wave of pain subsided, he moved his arm down to his side, exposing his tired, and now red-rimmed eyes. Staring at the wall in front of him, he shook his head. "I don't know what's a dream… What's real. It all runs together. He turned and looked up at his partner. "Sam… I'm losing my mind."
"No, G. You're not losing your mind," Sam assured. "You have a concussion. You've been a little off. But the doctor says you'll get better."
Callen's eyes suddenly filled with tears. "Don't leave me here."
Sam cleared his throat, fighting down the lump that had formed there. "I'm right here, G. I'm not going anywhere. Me, Hetty, Kensi, Deeks… We've been with you the whole time. We're not going to leave you here."
Callen lowered his eyes, causing a single tear to spill over and trickle down his cheek.
Sam busied himself by pouring a cup of water, giving his partner a chance to wipe the moisture from his face.
He turned around to find G holding both forearms up in front of his face, curiously examining the cloth cuffs fastened around his wrists.
Sam raised the head of the bed a little. "Those are just as a precaution, G," he said matter-of-factly. "The nurse will take 'em off after while. Here, drink this."
Whether satisfied with Sam's explanation, or his thoughts were simply too muddled to attend to more than one thing at a time, G lowered his arms and focused on the Styrofoam cup in front of him.
Callen had taken several small sips when he was suddenly hit with a surge of pain. His eyes squeezed shut. He pushed the cup away, almost causing Sam to spill it. Just about the time he was able to take a breath, the pain came crashing down on him again.
Sam watched helplessly over the next half hour while his friend practically squirmed between the bed sheets, trying desperately to find relief from the excruciating pain.
The relief finally came when he was just too exhausted to keep his eyes open any longer, and Callen fell into a restless sleep.
Sam sat down next to the bed. He studied his partner for a little while.
Every so often, Callen would wince and then hold his breath for a few seconds. Other times his brow would tense, his breaths would come faster, and he would weakly raise his arm like he was trying to push something, or someone away.
Sam could usually determine if G's restlessness was due to pain he was experiencing in his sleep, or if he was having a bad dream. At the moment, Sam was afraid it was both. He knew there was nothing he could do for G at the moment. He'd just have to be ready for whatever came next.
Sam only had to wait forty minutes for 'what came next.'
Callen had become increasingly agitated and had whispered a few phrases in his sleep, when he suddenly gasped. His eyes opened wide and he lunged toward his right, attempting to go over the side rail.
Sam was to his feet, had lowered the side rail, had his hands on Callen's shoulders, and had his partner pinned down on his back in a split second.
Callen struggled to free himself from the huge hands that were pressing down on him. "Get… Off… Me."
"G!" Sam pressed down a little harder. "Don't do this to me again, G," he said softly.
When Callen could no longer move his upper body, he frantically turned his head back and forth. "No!... No… Don't."
"G!" The big SEAL tightened his hold on Callen, squeezing hard enough to leave bruises.
"No… Let me go." Callen drew up his left leg and kicked.
"G! Stop! It's me." Sam gave his dazed friend two rather rough shakes.
Callen stopped fighting. With his chest heaving, he stared up at Sam's face.
"That's it." Sam loosened his grip a little. "No one's trying to hurt you. You're Okay."
With his panicked gaze still locked on the familiar brown eyes that were looking down at him, G swallowed dryly. "Sam?"
"Yeah. It's me. It's Sam." When he felt Callen relax, he released his shoulders. "You're Okay," he repeated.
Still struggling to get control of his breathing, Callen slowly scanned the room. "Where am I?"
"You're in the hospital, G."
"This is real?" he asked softly. "You're real?"
"Yes. This is real. You're here in the hospital. They're taking good care of you."
Callen's bloodshot eyes stared straight ahead. "Don't want to sleep anymore," he said softly, and then his voice trailed off. "Please," he whispered.
"Nobody's gonna make you sleep, G," Sam assured while putting the covers back in place that Callen had kicked to the foot of the bed.
Sam was taken aback by his friend's vacant stare. G had not even blinked when Sam raised the side rail and it clicked loudly into its locked position. The big SEAL walked around to the foot of the bed – still no response. It was as if Callen was looking right through him. Although G did not seem to be in distress at the moment, Sam felt uneasy about how quickly his partner had shut down.
Sam was still standing near Callen's feet when he felt his cell phone vibrate. He slid the phone out of his pocket and took a look. He recognized, from the unusual sequence of numbers, that this was an international call. Could be an informant with information about an ongoing case. Or the call could be forwarding from one of his undercover numbers, someone trying to make contact with one of his aliases. In either case, he knew he needed to take the call.
Sam's mind was racing as he stepped into the hall and answered the call. "Hello?"
"Sam. How are you?"
Sam visibly relaxed. "Nate."
"Are you with him right now?"
"Yeah. Standing outside his room."
"I've talked to Greg a few times…"
"Who?"
"Sorry. Gregory Lee."
"Oh, yeah. G's doctor."
"He's been keeping me updated. But I just wanted to hear from someone who knows Callen. How's he doing, Sam?"
"It's been rough. Feel like we're on a rollercoaster ride. One minute he seems like he's pulling out of this, the next minute he's confused and fighting us. Right now, I don't think he even knows he's on the planet."
"With all that's been going on with him medically, that's not a surprise. Is he still experiencing flashbacks?"
"Not as many. But when he does, they're pretty intense. We've found out some things about his past that I don't think he intended anyone to ever know."
"I'm sure that's been difficult for all of you to see… How are you doing, Sam?"
"Scared. Scared we're gonna lose him."
"Just remember, Sam, he's a survivor."
"I'm afraid this has just been too much on him, Nate… that the rollercoaster's gonna crash."
"Sam, you're more of a brother to him than anyone else he's ever known. Whatever happens, you'll be right there to help him get it all sorted out… to help him feel grounded."
"I hope so."
"You will. Just hang in there. I'll be in touch. But if you need to talk, let Hetty know and she'll get a message to me."
"Thanks, Nate."
Sam ended the call and shoved the phone back into his pocket. He leaned his back against the wall and took in a deep breath, allowing the Psychologist's words to resound in his mind. …More of a brother to him than anyone. Nate was right. He'd need to stay strong, stay focused, so he could help keep his partner grounded.
