Everyone left the berthing area and Hap turned to Anastasia, "You want to join everyone for cards?"
"No, not really, I'd rather spend some time alone with you. Can we do that?"
Hap nodded as he took off his boots. While taking off his coveralls he asked, "How's your day going?"
Anastasia got comfortable on the bed, and replied, "Badly. All my missiles went wide when I targeted the locust, which made us fail our mission. Then I had to do all the dishes, and the book I'm reading implies our relationship is doomed."
Hap cozied up next to her, "So now you think our relationship is doomed?"
"The book said statistically first love romances between teenagers end in breakup. " Anastasia said
"We're not teenagers" Hap said as he pulled her back so they could rest their backs on the bulkhead.
"I'm nineteen, but you're right it's not the age. Really the problem is the book said the same thing you told me about taking things slow, building a relationship, ensuring we know each other and want the same things in life." Anastasia said with mock sorrow as she got comfortable.
"What's wrong with that?" Hap asked
"Nothing really, but it shows how impatient I am." Anastasia said. "I want a whirlwind romance."
"No you want a relationship that lasts, but you want it right now." Hap told her.
"I'm not sure if I like how much you hear what I mean, and not what I'm saying." She said sarcastically.
"So are you annoyed with yourself, or everything around you?" Hap asked.
"Little bit of both. I'm annoyed we haven't had more time together. I feel our lives have been on pause for weeks, and I'm worried about my Mother. Do you think we've been reported MIA or AWOL?"
Hap thought for a moment, "It's hard to say. Unless we got tracked leaving the planet, we're probably considered MIA. That assumes the RDMM is sending out reports though, they might not be."
Anastasia nodded, "They've likely gone comms silent, either way I'm certain Mother is worried sick."
"When we land at Monhegan we can send her a message and let her know you're okay." Hap said, then flashed a wolfish grin "and you can also tell her about all the new friends you've made recently."
"Mother would love to know I actually have friends." Anastasia said thoughtfully ignoring his sarcasm.
"Even if they are psychotic bloodthirsty mercenaries." Hap said with more sarcastic excitement.
"That's almost how she describes most lobbyists and politicians, and she's surrounded by them every day." Anastasia replied. "Although I don't really feel that close to anyone except you."
"Just so you know, In spite of your hard work, you're generally well liked. David was commenting last week how you've stopped giving him cold stares and now you actually talk to him. Crow and Rolph think you're a pretty good MechWarrior. Mags and Joker like you as much as they like anyone. Oh, and Dillon is still convinced you owe him a dance, so you got that to look forward too."
"I remember he asked me to dance our first night on the Tir na nOg and I guess I didn't give him a definitive 'no'. Would you just tell him I'm your girl?" Anastasia pressed herself closer to Hap.
"I tried to but he said, 'after me and Anastasia and dance, we'll see'."
Anastasia sighed contentedly and put her head on Hap's shoulder, "I wouldn't worry too much about him. I don't think one dance is going to change my mind about how I feel about you."
"But I shouldn't let him get a second dance with you?" Hap said
"Oh I wouldn't." Anastasia replied with a laugh. "Seriously though, I probably won't have too much to say to Mother about anyone except you."
"I thought our relationship is doomed." Hap said with a chuckle.
"You know it isn't. You and I are going to make this work, because where else would you find someone as charming and attractive as me?" Anastasia teased
"I hear the Canopus Magistracy has girls that…"Hap stopped as Anastasia gave him a warning glance. "Yes Anastasia, we're going to make this work, but one of these days we're going to have to talk about why around everyone you're quiet, but when it's just you and me your…suddenly very confident."
"Harold, it's not that I get more confident, rather I'm always thinking these things, but when it's just us I feel comfortable enough to say them." She said, then grinned and added, "Now hold me."
"Our relationship may not be doomed, but I'm starting to worry I am." Hap put his arm around her.
"I have this book you should read. It has a chapter about how long term committed relationships are not 'mutual pain and suffering death pacts'." Anastasia said.
"Yeah, you can't divorce your way out of a death pact." Hap joked.
"It also has another chapter about how marriage is a 'no fail mission'." Anastasia said.
Hap gave Anastasia a bemused look "What sort of books are you reading?"
"Anything I can find on relationships. That particular book was the 'Warrior's Guide to Marriage'. It's really a relationship self-help book. It didn't have anything unique, but it put everything in a pretentious context of war or battle." Anastasia told him with a laugh. "Most of the books are pretty derivative, but there was a book you might like is the 'linguistics of love' it talked about some of the things you mentioned. How everyone says 'I love you' or how they want to be told 'I love you' in their own way."
Hap nodded, "After the divorce someone recommended that book. I read it, and realized I studied psychology, but I never tried to learn anything practical. After the divorce I started to work on how to improve myself and how to understand relationships. That book was good, but I'm curious about all the information you had the gauss rifle, do you have a lostech technical readout?"
"No. At NAIS I had access to the Halstead Station library and the Helm memory core." Anastasia said.
Hap couldn't believe she had casual access to two sources of rare information on lost technology. "Can any NAIS cadet access those things?"
"Not exactly. It required special permission from the Dean of the College of Engineering, and a professor had to sign off on what I wanted to research. Normally it would have required an extensive background check too, but my father's company was one of several that had been approached to attempt to recover the gauss rifle for the Federated Suns."
"I thought your Dad's company just made advanced sensor packages."
"Dad's company is…complicated. He would tell you it is a practical R&D company. Dad had an odd way of looking at problems and finding strange solutions. For all his brilliance though, he usually looked for simple problems that people took for granted and tried to make things that could easily turn a profit."
"So, what's the story with the advanced sensor package on your Valkyrie?"
"You understand how standard sensors work?"
"Sure, the sensor broadcasts an energy wave and interprets the interference for the targeting system."
"Right. The sensor antenna is designed for a specific wavelength based on some ancient star league standard. Some mechs are designed to be hard to scan, and there are ways to jam it. So Dad removed the antenna on my Valkyrie and replaced it with struts that he embedded with a grid of wires that would work as antennas. He programmed the system to energize the right amount of "antenna" to scan an object based on the optimal wavelength for the range. It has the advantages of about 20% greater range than most standard sensors, it can't be jammed, and it can give the same fidelity of information at any range. He also fixed the Valkyrie's 'quirky' sensor problems, and he made it a refit kit for several mechs."
"Alright, I'm not sure I understand all that, but I'm starting to see your Dad's genius. I wouldn't have thought money was a problem, though. I assumed your mother's title came with wealth and riches."
"It does, she can tax her holdings as she sees fit, and she is also the sole landlord for some major portions of Hazelhurst's starport and capital city, and we have investments that go back centuries. My family was granted holdings on Hazelhurst after it was taken from the Outworld's alliance."
"So why did your Dad focus only on projects that would 'turn a profit'?"
"He was looking to subsidize his real project, which was to make a competitive technology to ComStar's Hyper Pulse Generator network, and that's extremely expensive."
"Okay, now I'm starting to suspect your Dad was one of those eccentric genius types."
"Look at it from his perspective, what do you think ComStar is?"
"Never thought about it, but I'd say they're an intergalactic telecom that flirts with being a techno cult."
"First, problems that people 'never thought about' were the ones Dad was looking for. Second, ComStar is a techno cult that has a side business as the only intergalactic telecom. Dad would often tell me everything about that situation was wrong. He didn't trust ComStar and suspected they used their access to everyone's messages to meddle in the affairs of every major house."
"That sounds a little conspiratorial. I mean if that were true wouldn't someone catch them at it?"
"What could you do if you caught them? They have a monopoly on intergalactic communications. Even if you're a powerful House Lord, you have to use them to control your empire. This is why Dad thought some competition would make them honest. He was also a patriot for the Federated Suns, so if the government wanted to pay him to develop it exclusively for the Federated Suns he would have been happy to do that too. Which is the other reason he wanted to work on government projects."
"What did your mom think of your Dad's theories?"
"She loved her eccentric genius. Mother spent most of her time around the political elite, which were, as she put it, generally a bunch of back stabbing sycophants and liars. Dad just wanted to solve problems, and make things better. I think he also liked solving puzzles. Mother loved him, and found his conspiracy theorizing to be part of his mad scientist charm."
Hap laughed as he asked, "So were you and your dad able to recreate a gauss rifle?"
"No, and it wasn't just us, we were part of a team. There were members of Team Banzai, scientist and engineer fellows from NAIS, and a few professors and grad students. The military even pulled an ancient Fury tank out of some vault so we could see its gauss rifle. Team Banzai was more interested in the tank's C2 computer system so they mostly focused on that, but the rest of us were working on the rifle."
"So is the team about to bring the gauss rifle back into production?"
"Probably not. Dad and I were working on the massive capacitors needed to store the energy for the magnets, and the magnetic coil mechanism. We also had to ruggedize everything, since most 'Mech warriors find themselves using their weapons as clubs when they run out of ammunition."
"It's a proven technique."
Anastasia rolled her eyes, "Once you go to all the work to build one of these weapons, you start to realize how dumb that is. Anyway, Dad had contacted me and told me he had a new idea and wanted to send me the data to have the team start making composite materials. Before he sent the data he…"
Anastasia got quiet and Hap gave her a few moments before asking, "How did your father die?"
Anastasia shook her head and breathed in a wet sob, "There was an accident in his workshop." She took another moment to control her voice. "It was a large explosion. Mother said there was almost nothing left of the workshop, and half the windows in the house were blown out."
"Did your dad keep a lot of explosive or flammable materials in his workshop?"
Anastasia could only shake her head as the tears slid down her cheek. Hap knew it was time to stop asking questions. He pulled her close and she buried her head in his chest. Hap held her as she quietly wept. He could feel her tears soak through his t-shirt.
"Not so overconfident now am I?" Anastasia said with a laugh as she used a dry part of Hap's shirt to dab her eyes. "I wasn't able to go to his funeral because of the deployment to Klathandu. I cried myself to sleep every night for weeks, and I thought I was over this." She sighed, "Does this pain ever go away?"
Hap shook his head "When my father died my sister made all the arrangements for the funeral, because I wasn't there. I made it though, and then afterwards all his fellow techs and friends threw him a wake at his favorite bar. I drank with them through the night and they told stories about my Dad, told me how proud my Dad was of his MechWarrior son and they gave me a ration of shit because they were techs and I was MechWarrior."
Hap's eyes misted over, "I broke down a few times that night too, but after that I thought I'd be good. I mourned the man, I celebrated his life, I thought that would be it. About a week later I wanted his advice on something and then I remembered he was gone. The day I won the gyro in that game, I wanted so bad to let him know. When I got promoted to Leftenant he was the only person I really wanted to tell." Hap let out a ragged breath of his own, "I don't think it ever really stops hurting."
Anastasia gently wiped a tear away from his cheek. She looked like she was about to say something, but instead just wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her. After a moment she reached over and closed the sleeping chamber door.
Without speaking they got under the blankets and continued to hold each other. This time Anastasia made sure not to let her arm get pinned. After a few minutes she sat up, modestly removed her bra under her shirt, and then laid back down with her back to his chest. Hap pulled her close to him in a comfortable embrace. As she sighed Hap thought she whispered, "I love you."
Hap wasn't sure what he heard, and jokingly thought to himself, "you wish she said, 'I love you'". That is when he realized he truly loved her. Obviously she was in his bed, and they weren't having sex. He remembered his dad telling him "the only women you'll ever share a bed with and not make love, is your wife." Hap thought it was joke when his Dad said it, but he learned how it can be true. Hap knew this wasn't sustainable for very long. Anastasia had told him she wanted her first time to be special, Hap wondered if that meant her wedding night, or if they just needed a nice comfortable private space.
Hap tried to imagine a future with Anastasia. She was certainly one of the smartest people he knew, but not like an insufferable know-it-all, well some times she was, but it was tolerable. A few weeks ago Hap had pointed out she was naïve about relationships and her response was to read and learn everything she could in the meantime. Hap figured this was something she learned from her intellectual father, or maybe she was just inherently curious.
He wondered about her relationship to her mother. If the Countess told her to come home would she? What would Hap do? He had signed a contract with the McFinnigans, he thought he should honor that. Of course he had also sworn an oath of loyalty to the Federated Suns. Even though his options were limited to death or capture, he could be still charged with violating his oath and other military crimes.
Hap recognized that was beside the point. He and Anastasia loved each other, they needed to figure out what they were going to do about that. Of course Anastasia had made it clear that their relationship was a foregone conclusion to her. She was going to be Hap's 'better wife' and if his Dad's cynical joke was any indication, she was well on her way.
This brought up another point, Anastasia had proved to be pretty determined and Hap assumed once she made a decision he'd have to go with it, or it'd be a fight. He wondered if he could put up with that. Hap started to wonder about a dozen other things he thought were charming now but might annoy him later. Hap realized what he was doing and forced himself to stop souring himself on their relationship.
Hap hugged her and wanted to tell her how he felt. She murmured something unintelligible, but it sounded happy. Hap had no idea if she was awake, but he didn't care, they would talk in the morning, and settle everything once and for all.
