She buried her nose in the nape of his neck, his long jet-black locks tickling her face... The faint scent of lavender made her feel oddly calm, despite everything. She took a deep breath, as if trying to inhale his very essence that, in her mind, personified itself through that soothing, calming lilac scent. Even though his aura shone in deep, rich, mesmerizing indigo blue...
- Oi... are you... smelling me?! - a mild trace of fake annoyance noticeable in his voice.
She let out a small giggle.
- Your hair smells really nice. I can't help it... What shampoo do you use? - she half-teased, with forced cheer in her voice.
- No idea. Whatever my old woman buys. As long as it serves the purpose, it's all the same anyway... - matter-of-factly, and seemingly indifferent to the topic, Keisuke let out a big yawn.
A silence ensued. As if they silently agreed to try to get some sleep, and exchanged whatever was weighing down on both their chests... But neither of them was comfortable or calm enough in order to sleep, both assuming the other one has fallen asleep, and putting effort into staying perfectly still and quiet.
But when she thought that he must have been asleep for sure, she tried getting up. Carefully removing the covers without making a sound, about to put her right foot on the floor, she felt a firm but gentle grip on her lower left arm.
- What are you doing? - Keisuke half whispered. "His hands are really warm..." she thought.
- Sorry, did I wake you up? - she tried dodging the question.
- No. I was awake all along. Where did you intend to go? - her heart skipped a beat.
- Uhm... toilet.
His grip got tighter as she tried pulling away from him.
- Your lying skills suck. Try again.
- Hah, so you saw through me? - she let out a small, defeated chuckle.
- You're too obvious.
- I was thinking of going outside...
- What for?
- To... - she was hesitating.
- What?! - he was putting more pressure on her.
- Call...
- Who?! - As if he was at the end of his nerves to begin with, his feistiness took the better of him, and without letting her finish the sentence, he snapped at her - Who the hell would you call at this time of the night, and after I'm asleep, at that?! Are you fucking cheating on me, huh?! - his tone threatening, but his voice trembling with hurt.
- What?! No, of course not! - she got offended - Hear me out properly if you've asked me about it, alright?!
He sighed deeply in frustration, resting his forehead in his left palm. His long raven hair covered half of his face. - Fine... Go on... You wanted to call?
- Chifuyu. - There was a long pause. As if the time froze for a while, they both remained still and silent. Only the curtain on the open window softly swirled in the gust of the chilly late October breeze. - I intended to call Chifuyu.
- Huh?! Chifuyu?! - still holding his temples between his thumb and middle finger, he shifted his gaze towards her - You know I broke off my ties with Toman, don't you? - he suddenly sat straight up.
- I do. And that's exactly why I wanted to talk to him. To devise a plan on how to get you back to your senses! Keisuke... - she gently put her hand over his that was still gripping her arm - I know you told me to stay out of your gang business, and I agreed to it. - She raised her gaze from their hands up to his face to meet his eye. - But you're not yourself, and all of your friends can see it! You just said I was too obvious, but look at yourself! Chifuyu and I have long seen through your crap as well! You ain't deceiving us! And... - she subconsciously gripped his hand - we ain't gonna let you do something as stupid as joining the enemy side!
He looked away, and after a few moments of silence, he spoke in a calm but still angry tone.
- If you know that I told you to stay out of my gang business, then why are you sticking your nose into it? Huh?!
Her eyes welled up. - Keisuke, I... We... - her voice breaking on the verge of tears - Don't want you to die!
Her words cut deep. He realized he went overboard.
- Sorry... - his apology carrying evident sadness. - ...for yelling. - He subconsciously started caressing her arm.
After a few moments of silence, she asked softly - You want to expose Kisaki, don't you?
He just sighed again.
- That's what Chufuyu said. But, is it true? . . . Keisuke?! Is that true? You want to expose Kisaki? All alone on your own?! Are you that fucking stupid?!
- Then what am I supposed to do, huh?! - he was getting nervous as well. - Let him ruin all I care for?!
- Why don't you talk to Mikey?
- Mikey is the Commander. He decided to put Kisaki on top of 3rd Division. I am not in the position to protest to his will. It's not like I'm his advisor, or something...
- Talk to him as his friend, not gang member... Please... or, at least, Draken... he'll listen to reason!
- I keep telling you to stay out of the gang business. Why are you now ordering me around on how I should act within my gang?
At that moment she realized that she was powerless to stop him from making the bad choice. She may have not understood well the inner workings and hierarchy of the gang life, but she knew his friends. She knew that Mikey was a bit egotistical and usually acted on a whim, but also that he deeply appreciated and respected Keisuke a lot as his childhood friend. He would definitely take his words seriously, even if he'd get angry at him. But Keisuke was actually the no. 1 person that wouldn't listen to reason, or anything other than his own stubborn ideas. She knew that as well. But she had to try. Kisaki and the rest were dangerous enough even for her to notice. She had no choice but to back away, and pray for his safety...
- Alright, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that.
- Then what did you mean?!
- I'm trying to understand you... to understand how you're thinking. And if I got this right, you don't want to disrespect Mikey by going against his decision, but isn't taking the role of the traitor an even bigger disrespect?!
- No. As a traitor, I will be punished properly, and treated as an enemy. "It's a small price to pay if I get to save them from whatever Kisaki's trying to do." - he thought to himself. - But if I go against the word and will of my Commander, it would mean direct disrespect to him. To throw dirt on Mikey's... on Toman's face... I'd much rather die than do that!
- Don't say that! - she suddenly hugged him, burying her face in his chest. The faint lavender scent filled her with strange calmness that really didn't fit with her actual feelings. "I don't want you to die...!" For some reason, this time she couldn't voice that thought. She just gripped the back of his T-shirt.
He simply hugged her back without a word. "Why is each and every one of them trying to get in my way, goddamn it!? I'm gonna kill that fucking piece o' shit - Kisaki! I can't let him fuck up Toman... MY Toman! And that idiot Kazutora... What hell is he thinking?! Tch! And this one..." He placed a soft kiss on her head mid-thought. "Shinichiro-kun... please help me protect them all!"
- Keisuke...?
- Hm?
- Promise me one thing.
- What is it?
- Whatever you do... from now on... Whether you join Walhalla, whether you betray your friends, I won't say a word. But in return, promise me that you won't die!
"Betray my friends, huh... Funny she'd say that."
- Huh?! Why? Don't tell me you'd cry for me! - he tried teasing her to lighten up the heavy atmosphere.
- Your false bravado is falling apart, 'baka'! - she hugged him even tighter.
- What are you talking about? Of course I'm not gonna die!
She slowly raised her eyes up to meet his. - You promise?
Seeing her beautiful green eyes water up at the verge of crying made him uneasy again, reminding him of what was going on. Pulling up his best pretending skills, he put a hand on the back of her head and reassured her with his brightest grin.
- Promise!
And maybe she let herself believe it for a while, maybe she consciously deceived herself, but at that moment, nothing mattered anymore, as long as she could bask in that soothing scent and feel his warmth.
They fell into the silence once again. Lying in each other's arms, both knowing deep down that it was all a big fat lie, that only felt good for a moment. Both pretending to sleep, both knowing that the other one is pretending. But neither of them dared to break the false peace and comfort. Maybe they felt it instinctively that it would be their last night together.
.
.
.
.
.
Four days later, at the Baji family grave, there was a small bouquet of lavender flowers next to the burning incense, and a note that read:
"You broke your promise, and I'll never forgive you for that! I'm mad at you.
Happy birthday!"
