YIKES, its been a while hasn't it?

Sorry for the delay, life has been complicated with the job and everything. Not to mention this was the first chapter of PART 2, so i wanted to make sure it turned out alright.

But i'm FINALLY done and here it is; PART 2 begins here, and with the introduction of a new character. I want to thank everyone that have been reading so far and specially to those that had left a comment.

Well, i dont have much else to say, except that i hope you guys like it!


PART 2: Stay Calm and Keep Breathing

"Anybody can become angry — that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody's power and is not easy."
― Aristotle


Sheriff Lowe woke up suddenly and violently, swinging his fists left and right. It took him a moment to remember he wasn't Rambo, and he wasn't bare-chested and fighting rebels in Soviet Siberia.

He lay back against the seat of the car, rubbed his eyes and waited until reality got a hold on him. Man, what a weird dream! But a funny one tho, he thought with a smile. It definitely beat sitting in his patrol car, at the shadow of a dental floss billboard, trying to catch speeders at…

He checked his watch. 2:39 AM. He was several hours away from going home. This was usually Michelson's spot, but he's been off duty for two days. For a Deputy, Michelson spent more days off duty fighting his ulcer than on duty, fighting crime.

There was the sound of a car coming over. Sheriff Lowe raised his speedometer and hoped… 30mph, it said. Too slow for speeding, to fast for slow driving. Sheriff Lowe dropped the speedometer, and his hopes with it. Sometimes drunk, rich kids with next generation cars liked to use this straight, wide section of the route for road racing, and Michelson had a lot of fun chasing after them —which was probably the cause of his chronic ulcer.

But not that night. Only three cars have passed by through the whole shift.

Naming aside, Death River was a calm town. No homicides, no gunfights and only the occasional domestic argument or drunken fight that ended in someone being stabbed required the police attention. Even drugs weren't an issue; the only dealer around was Jimmy Snakes —and he always bribed on time. Long story short, it was a bummer of a town to be a sheriff of.

Sheriff Lowe fished inside his bag of chips and grabbed a handful.

Maybe that's why the former sheriff retired? Lowe was Deputy when Sheriff Lowe—most people called him Frank; Lowe usually called him 'Dad' or 'Sir'— was on office. One day, the Sheriff came into the police department wearing a floral t-shirt, with the sheriff uniform under his arm.

"I'm moving up to Florida. Good luck, Junior," he'd said, dropping the uniform in his sons' arms, and 'Lowe Junior' has been 'Sheriff Lowe' since then.

Sheriff Lowe squeezed the chips' bag into the smallest size possible and threw the ball into the back seat. What did Florida have that Death River didn't? True, the department wasn't in good shape, but they had Cadillacs as patrol cars. Frank bought three a few years ago, in perfect shape —by a good price too, he'd said, which was equal to the police department's modernization budget. So, the Death River's Police Department had worn-out painting, mold in the corners, computers from 1999 running on Windows 98', rust on the cell bars and an ever growing mice colony living merrily in the basement.

But they also had a fleet of Cadillac Patrol Cars. And what does Florida have?

Probably alligators on the street, thought Sheriff Lowe, smiling wildly. And hordes of mosquitoes, and old people playing bridge and… and those… things that blow your house away… Tornadoes!

He shook his head. No, those were in Kansas. What do they have in Florida?

Another car passed by. 38mph. Sheriff Lowe lifted his feet and rested them over the driving wheel. Frank wouldn't like that… but Frank was in Florida and Sheriff Lowe was in Death River, so screw him.

He crossed his arms and felt into a drowsy daydreaming (or is it 'nightdreaming' at this hour?). He imagined some stupid rich kid, on his daddy bought Dodge or BMW, going way over the speed limit. And Sheriff Lowe would chase them —as it was fitting of him to do— and pull him over and throw a ticket into his shiny teethed face. And maybe that rich kid would be foul-mouthed, reckless and dumb enough to try to pick up a fight with Lowe.

And that would be great, because Lowe was in the mood to beat up some idiot.


"Magical Space Sword."

"Bloody Mayhem."

"Mayor Octopus of Mars."

"Tentacle Mindsex."

"Soldier of the Stars."

"Atomic Empanadas."

"I hate all these bands," said Steven laughing desperately as he tried to steer the car straight. "This is the worst game I ever played."

"You want to stop?" Soledad asked, hiccupping with laughter.

"Never!"

Giggling filled the car as they kept coming with made-up band names. They were terrible; all of them. But Steven didn't care; his mind was clouded with feelings and sensations. The night's chill air coming in from the window. The dark, empty road, with only the light of Rain's Triumph ahead to keep them company. Soledad's nasal laugh that she no longer bothered hiding. The booze induced dizziness in his body. This all made Steven felt like floating. He was weightless.

There was no past on Beach City. There was not uncertain future ahead of him. He was in the transitional place called the present; and the present was amazing! Except for the music…

Because all my exes live in Texas

And Texas is the place I'd really love to be

Because all my exes live in Texas

That's why I'll plant my flag in Tennessee.

I should've left the stereo off, thought Steven. Drunk or not, this mix tape was no good at all. Soledad must have read his mind because she said:

"Steven, this mix tape blows man. They totally ripped you a whole buck!" she gasped, as if it were an extraordinarily high amount.

"I know," Steven groaned, lamenting his choice of cassettes for the first time. "It lied too! The tape says 'country mix', but this is 'cowboy music'."

There was a silence so deep you could hear someone's brain gears grinding.

"Isn't 'cowboy music' the same as 'country music'?"

The car shortly swerved. "Oh my Stars! They are not!" Steven shouted.

What followed was 5 to 10 minutes of drunken explanation of the subtle differences between country music and cowboy music. The speech went over Soledad's head, and by the time Steven was done, he too had forgotten most of what he'd said.

"Man, Idontevencare. I don't know the first thing about music, except that it has to make my booty shake," said Soledad, her aura flickering with excitement. "Why do you even need cassette tapes? We invented CDs for a reason."

"Which is?" Steven inquired.

Soledad gaped for an answer. "I don't know, cause square shapes suck? Everybody knows circular shapes are the best."

Oh man, Garnet would've had a few things to say about that, Steven thought, amused.

"Well I like them," said Steven, meaning the tapes. "It's all about the high fi-fi-fidelity sound and the noise. I like the imperfections. Like, when I listen to a CD I think 'yes, OK, I am hearing a person's voice', but when I listen a cassette I think 'I'm listening to a person's soul', you know?"

Soledad's aura swirled with wonder. Steven caught her staring at him again.

"You're a real mystery, Mister Universe."

"What part?" Steven asked.

"What pa- well everything!" She lifted a hand and started to count. "You're young but you have an old soul. You're cheerful but also super reflective. Goofy but really wise." She lifted her other hand, even thought she still had two free fingers in the first one. "You dress like a candy cane but have a cowboy's heart. You're nice but also…"

She made a confused hand motion. "Mean?" Steven offered.

"No, it's not that. It's more like… though!" she slapped her hands together. "You are nice but though. Like life had hardened you and made you who you are."

"And who am I exactly?" Steven said humorously. "Because I have no idea."

"Give it time, dude! Those things don't happen overnight. Destiny don't come a-knocking at ya door!"

Steven hummed. That's right. Your mom has to die and leave it to you.

"Tell me, you think I always knew I was Trans?" Soledad's aura became solid. This was personal terrain.

"Yes?"

"No," she said. "This isn't some- is not something I came out of my mom knowing." She bit her lip. "Alrightyeah, maybe that's how it is for some people. You read about six year olds that already know it and you think 'yeah, off you go tiger!', but with me, it started when I was fourteen. And forget about the slap-on-the-face revelation. In my case it was like being re-pe-ted-ly smacked on the back of your head by something you know nothing about. It took me years to know what it really was, and even more to know what it meant to me."

Steven found himself nodding excessively. "I didn't know that. I know a few Trans people, but I never thought what it was like," Steven hummed, deep in thought. "I guess gender never really meant much to me."

"Oh, we're doing Freud's couch again?" Soledad asked. "Alright, what do you mean by that?"

Steven showed his empty palms; then he swiftly grabbed the wheel before they got off road. "I don't know. I never really thought much about gender stuff. I mean, I usually see people as just people. I know everyone says that but it's different because I saw myself the same. I was just, you know, Steven. I wore boy clothes or girl clothes, I didn't care."

"What are clothes even?" added Soledad.

"Exactly! They're just pieces of cloth that we label as 'boy clothes' or 'girl clothes'."

"Preach it, man-o-the-robes!"

They laughed for a while, but the air felt different now. Heavier.

"Yeah, it was great," said Steven, gloomy. "And then you grow up and your body grows with you and everything becomes…"

"Not right?"

"Different," Steven corrected. "And if I think about it, I think 'yeah, no duh I'm a boy. I'm Steven', but that's not the point. It sucks that everything is simpler when you're a kid, but when you grow up, people put you into a box. Ugh, I hate people that force others to be what they want them to be"

"Couldn't have guessed," said Soledad and Steven blushed, remembering the incident at the camping site." And you know, it's like Peeps said; the road is the best place to find yourself cause you'll find weirder people than you. Then you realize how much of that gender stuff is bull and you can be this or that or whatever you want."

"But that's the thing," said Steven. "Do you really need to be this or that? Isn't that just, just, 'boxing' yourself? Is life supposed to be just a no-end line of people telling you what you are supposed to be, while you try to find out who you really are? Can't you just be?"

Breathe, Steven, he told himself. Breathe or things could get real ugly, real pink, real fast. A warm, comforting aura hit him.

"Oh man, youknowwhatthatremindsmeof?" Soledad giggled, then immediately became serious as a tomb. "'I am awfully greedy; I want everything from life. I want to be a woman and to be a man, to have many friends and to have loneliness, to work much and write good books, to travel and enjoy myself, to be selfish and to be unselfish'."

The voice sounded like it was coming from an ancient place; a woman wise beyond her years, instead of the hyperkinetic girl Steven had just meet. When she was done, she got quiet. Steven too, as he was deeply in shock; in the five or so hours he'd known Soledad, she'd never spoke with such clarity and patience.

"OH MAN!" said Steven, full of energy. "That's it! That's totally how I feel!"

Soledad made finger guns at him "It's a banger phrase," she said.

"It's the best phrase ever! Wow, just… wow!" Steven let go of the wheel to grab his head. Then he picked it up again; he didn't want to crash now that he was feeling so high. "Who even said that? She must be a genius."

"Ivenoidea. I read it on graffiti on a wall outside my school." Soledad admitted, a bit shyly. "It also said 'and when I don't succeed, I get mad at myself'."

Steven muttered an Oh. Yeah, that sounds familiar too. He wished to know who had said that to thank them for putting Steven's thoughts into words —and if possible, ask them how to deal with them.

His mood turned sour. As that quote so effortlessly said, Steven desired more than what he could have. He'd wanted to travel and he'd gotten his wish, but now he misses home terribly. The nights alone are not as bad as the days, where he looks around and see no familiar faces. Yet the idea of going to Beach City and staying for more than half a day gave him reflux (or was it the beer? No, it had to be thinking about home).

And if he went back to Beach City, then what? Everyone at home missed him, sure, he knew that; they said so themselves. But they were also on board with this trip on the basis that Steven was gonna having a great time. Going back and saying 'hey I actually missed you guys' would mean he put on a drama show for nothing. It would mean that he put all his family and friends through emotional distress for nothing. Even worse, it would mean he'd dropped the towel; that he couldn't live by himself.

Steven's hands clenched around the wheel. Breathe, Steven, breathe.

No way was he going to accept that. Steven wanted… he deserved a life on his own. He'd saved the Universe, and he didn't even got a lousy t-shirt! After everything he'd done for other, why can't he wish for something for himself?

Because it doesn't feel right, that's the answer. Even after months of therapy, there was a basic part of Steven that lived for other people. And he couldn't get rid of that emphatic side of himself without throwing away what made Steven, 'Steven'.

This raises the question… Is that what he wants? To be someone, anyone else but Steven? Yes, yes, yes.

"But you know, I think the quote is wrong," said Soledad, sheepishly.

"How come?" Steven asked.

"Well, first of all: who even said that? And why? I mean maybe we're squeezing our brains over it and the dude who said it just couldn't decide what toppings he wanted on his pizza." She said with a bit of disappointment.

"I don't know. It sounded like a very trans-like quote…"

"I don't mean that part, I mean the thing being selfish and unselfish."

Steven shifted slightly so he was half looking at her, half at the road.

"I think you can think a certain way about some stuff, and think the opposite way about other, and that's not hypo… hyp… you are not looking at two different roads," she concluded. "You are just shifting roads, but you're still going at the same place. You're still you, but you're not a in a 'white box, black box' system. Take me as an example."

"I don't think I should."

"Haha, you're so funny," Soledad said sarcastically. "What I mean is that I'm still sort of… jumping between my old life and the one I am at right now. I mean, am I a closeted Trans girl from California, or a Trans girl from Virginia?

"Well, you're not in California now."

"Sometimesiam," she rushed to say. "Here, in my head. If that makes sense."

Steven gulped and got somber. He told her it did made sense.

"And it's lonely," Soledad proceeded. "Very lonely, I mean that's why I picked my name in the first place." She stared at him attentively, just like she did when Steven had guessed her name. "Soledad. Do you even know what it means?"

"It has something to do with the sun, I know it," Steven said with the edge of one who knows is right, but can't tell why.

"Uh, nope. Not at all."

Her aura made a sharp spike. Liar.

"It means 'loneliness'. Cause that's what I feel."

Steven blinked several times. He breathed in and out. He began to recite a mantra in his head. He counted sheep. Finally he gave up and burst in laughter.

"Go ahead, laugh at me, idontcare."

"I'm sorry, I…" Steven cleared his throat and spoke with calm. "That must have been an important decision."

"Not really, I was just super drunk in a bar in Arizona," Soledad turned slightly red. "And I was alone. I'd just escaped home a few days ago when it hit me I was… Alone."

Steven's head started to spin as much as his stomach. It was getting harder to think.

"Sol?" he said.

"Yes Steven?"

"Do you feel alone now?"

Soledad extended her hand, but hesitated before touching Steven's. "Not anymore," she purred.

He was about to ask what she was doing, when a torrent of emotions flowed to him. Joy, acceptance, companionship. A bit of hunger too. And… want. It flowed to Steven and, in the same way it had happened before, it initiated a reaction that awakened the same feeling in Steven. The warm flowed back and forth between them, like waves on a beach, growing stronger with each new jump. It was too much.

Steven took his hand off the wheel —and by addition; Soledad's too— like he had just touched a stove. Steven certainly felt hot; his hand, chest, and everything else was burning

"What're you doing?" he said, voice trembling.

Soledad recoiled slightly. "What? Just a little hand touching between friends."

Hand touching… So, she didn't feel Steven's emotions? No, chances were that she had felt something, but she had attributed a non-magical explanation to it; like being in a car, alone, with a boy. A boy who was Steven… And Soledad was a girl. And somehow, all of that didn't hit him until now.

Steven straightened his back and said, firmly. "Well, don't do it again."

"Why?"

"Because…" Steven mumbled a few second because there was a reason he couldn't remember. He got distracted as he pondered about it. He didn't noticed when the Triumph's lights turned right and the Dondai kept going forward.

It should be clear by now that Steven's relationship with his physical body, just like with his gender, was a complex one. For all of his life he'd had powers he couldn't control, and a body whose appearance shifted according to its owner emotions. Things like that don't push you towards self exploration. And ever since his incident, his body had changed so much Steven barely looked himself in the mirror when he left the shower.

He'll never forget a session with Dr. A. in which they touched the subject:

"This is a delicate question, Steven," she said, soft like a summer breeze, "but how often do you masturbate?"

Going back to it, yes, Steven had overreacted. Which is why he offered to pay for all the windows and glasses he'd broke. Of course, he'd to write that down, since Dr. A. was temporarily deafened. She didn't got her full hearing back until two weeks later.

That was one uncomfortable moment, but there were many others. One time when he was roughhousing with Connie and realized he was no longer a weak kid and could pin her to the ground. Whenever they napped, hugging, intervened like they did when they were kids, except they weren't anymore. And now, with Soledad.

It's the first time this has happened with someone who wasn't Connie, however, and the concept alone made Steven felt criminal.

"Because I have a girlfriend, that's why," he announced.

"So? I didn't ask you to marry me," Soledad said and didn't notice the light flashing in Steven's eyes. "I just wanted to hold a cute guy's hand."

"Well, you better stop. I don't want… I mean, I don't like you like that," the words came out before he could stop them.

I sounded mean, but in any case, it's true, he told himself. Come on now, you can't like someone you have known for a few hours while heavily drunk. Soledad didn't seem to think the same way; her aura shrank in sadness, before bursting in rage.

"Well, whatever, idontlikeyouneither," she said with poison in her voice. She evaded his gaze, arms crossed and huffing. "I just… I mean… I just think you are nice!"

"And you are nice too but-"

"So what if you have a girlfriend?" she said, not dropping the subject. "She's not here right now. What, do you think she is gonna ma-te-ria-lize and give you an earful for holding handswithatransgirl?"

Steven's head made like a whip. "That's not what I meant!" he retorted. He was getting nervous and it was hard to drive in the dark. Why was everything so dark?

"And in any case, why do you like her so much? She is just a girl," Soledad mumbled.

The energy started to flow from Steven's gem. He was one breath away from turning pink because you don't call Connie 'just a girl'.

"She is my Connie," he said, matter-o-factly. "She liked me when I was no-one. She knows me like no-one else."

"She knows you?" Soledad laughed with malice. "YOU don't know yourself and this Miss Childhood-Friend somehow knows you? Yeahright." She scoffed and looked through the window. "And even if it were true, you aren't the same as before, are you? Isn't that why you left? Because you wanted to find yourself? And you have to-you need to face the possibility that when you go back, you are gonna be someone she doesn't like."

"WHY? Why would that-"

"Because that shit happens, Steven! Peoplechange. She's probably changing right now. You are gonna be two completely different people when you meet again."

Steven laughed and laughed. He laughed so hard he could have convinced everyone but himself.

"That's when you are wrong because we talk and see each other all the time," he said, and omitted to mention that Connie used a magical lion to visit him.

"And I'm sure seeing her through the phone square is ohsogreat," Soledad lowered her voice to a hiss. "But answer me this. If she liked you so much, and you like her so much. Why didn't she make this trip with you?"

The car stopped at such a speed the tires groaned and left a several meters long mark on the road. The passengers were pushed forward by the sudden momentum; thank that Stars for the seatbelts, lest they would have know what it is to fly through a window.

"Steven, what-"

"First of all," Steven said in a voice that cracked the air, "you are talking about stuff you know nothing about. Connie knows me; and even if she didn't, she likes me. Just for, for, for existing! And I know her, OK? We have been through the same stuff together. Stuff no-one knows about! And even, even if we weren't together, we would always be together."

"And I do like you," he said and the words felt bitter in his mouth. "I mean I-I think you are great. You are the coolest person I've meet since I leave home. The first one to be nice to me," Steven started to hyperventilate. "And I thought 'hey, it's alright if you are weird Steven. Soledad doesn't care. She is a good friend.' But now, I'm not so sure-"

"I am your friend!" Soledad shouted.

"Then why aren't you acting like one!"

The Dondai trembled as Steven's fist hit the steering wheel. Not enough to break it —he'd gained a deeper control of his own strength these last few months— but the noise could have splintered the Earth in half. It did seem to have broken the stereo, as only static came out of it.

Neither of them spoke —and neither took their eyes out of the other. Soledad was… she was afraid, but not scared. It was hard to explain; her aura had this weird flash of wonder. But Steven didn't cared. He could take a lot of things; he was used to it. But you can't trash talk Connie in any way or form, and he was gonna let her know it, goddamit!

So busy he was trying to look though, it took him a while to consider... Was he pink? No, that couldn't be. Bu the way Soledad was staring at him, like he was a monster...

No, no! In an attack of panic, he looked at himself in the rear mirror. He breathed out; he wasn't pink, his pupils were alright. No, everything was normal; just regular, freakshow Steven. The only thing different was his furious glare; looking at himself was enough to calm Steven down.

He tried to talk to Soledad, made amends, but she would refuse to look at him.

"You don't know me," she said, each word heavy with meaning Steven could perceive, but didn't have the patient to look into.

At that moment, her earlier words came to him. When you go back, you are gonna be someone she doesn't like. Yikes, now that's something new to consider. Steven wanted a new life but… how did the people he loved fit in it?

"You're right," he copied her and stared through his side of the window. "And you don't know me."

Everything was quiet in the world; the Dondai was still running but unmoving, as its passenger let the seconds tick by. Their minds filled with their own little worlds —not quite separated, as Steven could feel, but not exactly connected either. Their only company was the sound of the engine running, and the trees surrounding them.

At least Steven thought they were trees…. It was kinda hard to see.

It was dark outside. Really dark, actually. The shadows were so dense you would need a sword to cut through them; looking beyond one meter ahead of you was out of the question. There was no moon either, no street light, no… Steven inspected his surroundings. There were no lights at all.

"Sol?" Steven said weakly.

Soledad sniffed and tried to show some composure. "What is it?"

"Where is Rain?"

Soledad looked around and lost her composure.

"Oh shit," she said, "OH SHIT!"

"What? What happened?"

She gave him the look of a feral cat in front of a truck. "OK, don't panic," she said, "but I think we lost the exit."

"…WHAT?" shouted Steven, in total panic. "How did that happened?"

"Howshouldiknowit? You're the one holding the wheel."

"Well, uh…" Steven made a list of things to pass the guilt onto. "Well you got me distracted with your talk about Connie."

"ME?! You're the so called Master Driver. You had one job to do, so dontblameitonme, Mister Universe."

Steven opened his mouth to retort, but then he closed it.

This is taking us nowhere, he thought, as he clenched his teeth, his hands and everything in his body that could be clenched.

Soledad breathing slowly calmed down as her aura brightened.

"Oh! I know where we are," she said, flapping her arms. "Rain took me to this road once. It ends on the river."

Steven waited for the punch line of the joke. "You know this car isn't amphi… aqua… It won't float on the water," he said.

She slapped both her cheeks. "Oh my God, wearenotgonnadriveintotheriver, Steven! There is a road that goes alongside the river."

The pieces didn't match in Steven's mind.

"And the river goes into the city? You know, Death River?"

There was silence before… DING!

"We just had to follow the road into the city!" he said.

"Give this man a cookie," said Soledad mockingly.

Steven stirred the shift and the car drove off. He was slightly happier, now that he knew where he was going, but he still felt kinda nauseous.

Either the beer is getting through me or I made things weird again. Judging by Soledad's silence and the shame vibrations coming from her, it was the latter. But come on. She did make me mad... But I didn't have to react like that. I can't control what other people do, but I can control myself. He found himself repeating Dr. A. phrasing again, but keeping true to it was easier when you weren't intoxicated. Steven was starting to miss being immune to alcohol.

His hand moved through the shifts with ease, and his foot was heavy over the pedal. The speedometer hand made a swift motion right, reaching distances it hasn't before. Soledad was nearly petrified, like a woman between wall and sword.

"Uh, you may want to go easy on the pedal, man," she said, and discreetly did the cross signal.

"It's gonna be fine, don't worry. I'm a master driver," he added, although he was a master driver about to throw up.

The dental floss billboard they passed by didn't helped —Steven didn't want to see the inside of a mouth, real or not! He just wanted to drop Soledad home and crawl back into a hole; never to be seen or spoke again by another person. He'll live in the woods like a hermit and he won't have to deal with nobodies' issues ever again. And nobody would have to deal with him

"Don't worry, everything is fine," Steven insisted. He knew he sounded like a maniac, but he tried to instill calmness in Soledad —and in himself.

That's when he heard the sirens. Blue and red lights filled the Dondai, alternatively. On the rear mirror, Steven saw the police patrol chasing after them.

He crossed sights with Soledad and, in one simple moment of drunken telepathy, their faces expressed the same feeling:

'Oh, give me break.'


Ta dah!

Boy, really, this chapter was difficult. Too much dialogue, too many issues to cover.

Thats actually something thats been worrying me: How do you guys like the dialogue? I mean, do you like how it flows? Is it too much, to distracting, to many actions in each line... If you guys would like to leave some feedback, i would really appreciate it, because that's what helps me know if i'm doing things right or no.

With that said, i hope you guys liked the chapter and had you hoped for the next. I cant make promises about WHEN i'm going to post it, but i'll do my best to be quick.

Anyway, as usual, please comment if you liked it! And see you guys next time!