Part XIII
No Regrets
(For those who haven't seen the No Regrets arc, or read it, this 'chapter' will hold spoilers. Read on at your own will.)
"Levi, please can we talk?!" Begged Isabel as she followed Levi to his horse which he mounted upon swiftly. It was the day of the expedition beyond the walls. The first time he and his friends will be beyond the constraints of their pen. Levi looked ahead of him, his eyes never leaving contact of Erwin, who sat upon his own horse at the front of the formation with Fury beside him. She knew her part in the job too. Lead Erwin astray, allow her friends to make contact.
"Talking can wait, we have to focus on the job." Levi responded as behind him, Farlan approached on his horse.
"But…" Muttered Isabel, if to avoid a scolding. "It's about Fury… It's about what I overheard her talking about a while back! Someone called-…"
"Isabel!" Came Farlan, cutting the girl's final words off, not that Levi was at all interested. He nodded at her, indicating she too should get upon her horse. Friendship troubles weren't the time and so, she knew it was best to wait until they came back.
"Open the Gate!" Soon came the loud voice of the Commander. "Today, we take another step forward! Show me the outcome of all of your training! Show me the strength of Humanity!" The Scouts behind him raised their arms, howling with cheer as the gates were lifted up. "We will now begin the 23rd Expedition beyond the walls! Forward!"
The Commander bolted his horse, charging forward with the Scouts following in pursuit.
As they left the gates into the Walls behind them, each group of Scouts separated into the formations given to them prior by Erwin. Fury rode alongside him and Flagon. Her gaze was directed towards the sky. It was so clear and the air smelt fresh. She suddenly felt a sense of belonging out here, despite her senses keeping her on edge for feeling the threat of what the Titans were capable of. But she was soon pulled out of her minor awe by Erwin, being told to keep her eyes forward.
"Don't lose your focus, okay?" Fury recalled her conversation with her friends before she left them. Though her words were mainly directed at Isabel and Farlan. "We're not going out there to sight-see… As much as we wish we could be. Out there, there's no telling to when we may come into contact with a Titan."
"Pfft!" Isabel scoffed in response, grinning. "I'll be sure to clean one up for you, Fury, if I see one!"
"Stop your jokes!" Fury then exclaimed. She was serious. More so than usual. "You can't be like this out there, Isabel!"
"What's your problem...?" Farlan asked, his eyebrow risen. He wasn't quite sure why Fury was suddenly being this way again.
Fury then sighed, tugging a strand of her hair behind her ear. This action always calmed her down. "All I'm asking is… that you two keep your eyes wide open when we're beyond the gates. You're only being optimistic because none of us have ever seen a Titan before. We have no idea how many people we could lose when we're out there… So please, all I'm asking is that you be careful…"
Fury frowned as she was lifted from her memory. There'd be nothing she could do if her friends were to come into danger. She did her best to hide it, but she was scared for them. She was scared herself.
"Titans sighted!" Proclaimed the Commander's voice. Fury then looked up, her eyes widened. They were taller than the trees. They moved so mindlessly, without focus but they looked so human. "One 15-metre class right ahead!"
Fury then looked behind her, seeing her friends moving in closer to both her and Erwin. Good. If they had to use these Titans as bait, so be it. But her gaze soon left her friends to what was behind them, her eyes widening further. "Two Titans are coming in fast behind us!" She called out, with slight panic in her voice. "They're too close for us to get away!"
The Commander frowned, raising his hand. "Prepare for combat!" He ordered fiercely. Three scouts lift from their horse saddles, latching the wires from the ODM's to nearby trees so that they could swing around and tear through the Titans napes with their cutters.
"Fury, what did I tell you?!" Angered Erwin, yanking her horse back to him as her concentration was too focused on the danger around her. "Keep your eyes forward!" He told her again as she fought to look away from the monsters.
Erwin then looked to Flagon who was riding behind him. "Shoot your flare!" He ordered.
Flagon nodded as he inserted the capsule into the small firing canon and shot the trail of smoke into the air for the Scouts around them. This was how they communicated out here, by the colour of each flare came a different sign.
"Commander, we need to tighten this formation." Erwin called out the man in front of him, but he always kept an eye on Fury. "Looks like it's going to rain…"
"They're here!" Came the cry of Isabel's voice, as Fury dared to look behind her yet again. She saw the two Titans giving chase to both Isabel and Farlan. But Levi was right there with them. That fact was enough to keep Fury from acting out.
Levi himself rallied his horse to run towards the ensuing Titans, causing both Farlan and Isabel to follow him into the fight he was about to cause.
Levi left his horse as he pulled out his ODM, using the environment around him, he swung low around the Titan's feet, causing it to trip over in confusion. That was enough for him to then dive down to slice through its nape, leaving a gash big enough to instantly kill it. In the distance, he witnessed Farlan take down the second Titan swiftly, due to Isabel being in the grip of its hand. He hurried to them, only focused on making sure Farlan had killed it.
"All the Titans have been eliminated!" Came the call of Erwin. "Regroup!"
"So how was that, Levi?!" Asked Farlan, mounting back onto his horse alongside an adrenaline rushed Isabel. "We took that thing down by ourselves!"
"We did it, Levi!" Exclaimed Isabel, waving her arms. "We did it!"
Levi lowered his cutters, the feeling of relief came over him as a small but sure smile formed on his face. "Yeah… you sure did." He praised… Almost.
"Indeed, that was impressive." Approached Erwin, Fury alongside him as she nodded at Levi. "Considering it was your first time… But you used too much gas!" He then scolded. "You need to be especially conservative out here."
"Are you expecting them to take priority over their equipment more so than each other?" Fury asked with disgust. She was beginning to dislike this man more and more.
Erwin then looked at the angered Fury, sighing. "They were performing a lot of unnecessary movements. Are you beginning to doubt?" Levi's eyes widened at the man's question as he began to take off on his horse. "If you are, it'll be the death of you."
Fury lowered her head. It was like Erwin could see right through her, it was like he could see that she wasn't coping well out here whilst surrounded by Titans.
"…. I'm so sorry…." She muttered, loud enough for her friends to hear. It wasn't clear who her apology was directed at, but it was enough to cause even Levi to appear stunned by her words as he watched her ride on up to Erwin, following orders.
"Damn him!" Sneered Isabel. "He'd better watch his back when he's alone!"
"Shut up, he could still hear you!" Scolded Farlan as Levi still appeared to be slightly stunned. The sky began to rumble slightly as the rain began to fall from above. The weather itself, just like the expedition, was taking a turn for the worst.
-1 hour later-
"It's difficult to see…" Erwin spoke to himself through his thoughts. A heavy fog had hit the land, no one could barely see the person they were riding alongside, let alone what was out in front of them. Fury herself was still riding beside Erwin, he made sure of that. She looked lost in thought. "If the storm gets any worse, the flares will become useless."
"Erwin… should we reduce the speed?" Came Fury's voice from beside him.
"Yes." He responded to her suggestion. "Though I'd like to get away from this open area as much as possible…"
The man then shot out a green flare into the sky. It was only just visible enough for Levi and the others that were at the back of the small formation, between the fog and continuous rain. Fury could feel it now. The worry and the fear creeping closer. If she was struggling when the area was clear, could she keep her mind clear now that she was practically blind? The job in which she and the others were to pull off was the last thing on her mind.
"I didn't know it rained this badly!" Spoke Isabel, pulling up her hood that was provided by the protection of a water absorbing cloak. "How are we supposed to see Titans until it's too late?"
"No…" Spoke Levi, his gaze focused ahead of him. "This is our chance. And if she's smart enough, Fury will see that too. "We'll use this rain the get close to Erwin."
"You wanna go for it now?" Asked Farlan, he himself being somewhat worried due to the weather.
"It'll be suspicious if we all go." Levi continued, clearly answering Farlan's question. "I'm going to use Fury's previous suggestion. So I'm going alone."
Farlan nodded in agreement. "It's probably best not to move carelessly around here…"
"Okay, fine!" Isabel agreeing also, a smile on her face. "But we'll be counting on you two! Now go and secure a Citizenship for us all!"
"If anyone asks, tell them I'm surveying the terrain." Levi ordered as he rode ahead upon his horse. Though he fought not to, he took a quick look back towards Farlan and Isabel, who were both waving him off, putting all of their hopes into not just Levi but into Fury as well. The fog was thick. Levi himself struggled through it. He knew, at any moment, he may either run into Erwin or a Titan.
"Just you wait, Erwin Smith." Levi's thoughts muttered. "I'll kill you with my bare hands."
As Levi rode on at full speed, he heard the roar of Titans from around him. The shriek in which they emitted was enough for Levi to pull back on his horse's reins, bringing the animal to a sudden stop. But for what he now witnessed ahead of him was something even he was not prepared for.
Blood among bodies. Decaying Titans, dead Scouts. It was an all-out massacre.
"What… what the hell happened here?" He asked himself as his eyes looked around for a sign of movement. He looked over to the far right of him as he heard the release of a flare with black smoke.
And a flare with black smoke only ever meant one thing; an abnormal Titan. The Scout that has released the flare, though his body severed and bleeding out, pointed in the direction of which the Titan was. This caused Levi's eyes to widened in horror as he looked back from the way he just came.
"No… No way, did we pass each other?!"
He galloped onward, looking fierce but yet worried for his friends. Surely they could handle another Titan, they proved it earlier. But Levi knew he witnessed the release of black smoke from the flare, and the concern he now harboured was too much for him to not go back.
He hurried his horse, pushing the animal to its limits, barely caring that he had pushed the horse too much and it fell to the ground, bolting Levi from its saddle for him to skid along the muddied ground.
His horse got to its feet but did not hesitate in running off.
Only slightly wounded, Levi then lifted himself up, his face covered in damp mud and small scratches but his eyes quickly widened in horror. His heart sank, his breathing quickened as pain hit him hard in his chest.
For before him laid the severed head of Isabel. Her still opened eyes glaring straight back up at Levi, revealing to him that the last thing for her to see was nothing but horror and panic.
Not too far from him, came the groans of the abnormal Titan that had devoured this entire formation in which his two friends were a part of. Levi sat there, among the rain and surrounding bodies in a state of shock and loss as the Titan near him soon spat out the remains of Farlan's body.
The male was now experiencing guilt for the first time. Had he just took his friends with him, they'd not now be severed remains among the dirt. What had he done? What had he caused? All because they had the ideal of living among the light of the sun. All because he wanted to bear the burden of the job himself… Now they were dead and there was nothing he could do to undo that defeating fact.
The abnormal Titan scurried around as it feasted upon any human remains it could find. It soon looked in the direction of Levi, sensing the beating heart of a near human, but it could not see Levi himself due to the enclosing fog.
With a flashing strike, the Titan shuddered backwards as a slashing cut was given to its torso. It looked around, the beast was almost showing its own panic as Levi then brought upon an onslaught of attacks. He was lashing out, using his guilt against the Titan that had taken his friends.
He screamed in anger and the Titan roared in pain. Levi did not directly kill the beast instantly, he wanted it to suffer. Onslaught after onslaught, he used his speed to split open the Titan on every part of its body. Its arm was removed, its entire hand was torn apart by the quick flurries of Levi's cutters. And with one final strike to the Titan, Levi was strong enough to remove the own beast's head entirely as it dropped to ground, leaving Levi to be back standing before the severed head of Isabel. The girl who was a younger sister to him.
The male allowed his tears to stroll down his face. He wasn't holding anything back now. His heart was broken, he felt the powerful hit that the loss had now brought to him.
But it was too much to ask for him to be alone for a moment, for Erwin and the remaining Scouts surrounded him, as well as Fury.
She jumped off her horse, noticing the state Levi was in. She then too looked at the ground as her hands quickly covered her mouth in an attempt to not be sick as she saw the remains of Isabel and Farlan. Erwin watched Fury, and he couldn't understand why she wasn't reacting the same way as Levi.
For all Fury could do was stand there and stare at the loss of her family. She was holding back. She was purposely avoiding showing any care, and she was disgusted in herself, despite how much she wanted to collapse in puddle of pain and loss.
"So you're the only survivor?" Erwin questioned Levi, as Levi himself had not once moved his gaze away from Isabel's head. Fury herself was hanging back. She had no idea how to deal with the pain she too was experiencing, yet her heart reached out to Levi. She could see he was hurting. "How pathetic." Erwin then mocked, causing Levi to break his gaze away from his friend and glare at Erwin with nothing but hatred.
Levi then lunged towards the tall man with his cutter, to which Erwin grabbed onto with his bare hands that soon started to bleed as he pushed back against Levi's strength. Though even Erwin could feel that Levi was weakened.
"I'm going to… Kill you!" Levi snarled as Fury solemnly approached both the men and the rest of the Scouts stood in silence. "That's why I'm here!"
"Levi… Stop…" Begged Fury, doing her best to hold back the same reaction.
"Shut up!" Levi snapped back, causing Fury to be shaken as he was still somewhat crying. "Look at you! You're not even bothered, are you? You didn't even care for them!"
Fury lowered her head. His words cut her deeply. It wasn't that she didn't care, because she did. It was because she didn't dare show it. "Not even a reply?!" Levi continued.
Erwin, who was still pushing back against Levi's outrage, frowned and he took out a document to which he threw towards Fury's feet, causing Levi to gaze upon it desperately. "Those are the documents revealing Lobov's crimes." Revealed Erwin as Fury did nothing but stare at it on the ground. "They are fake. The real document has likely reached Daris Zackley by now. Lobov was finished before you even left for this expedition."
"You… knew everything from the start?" Fury questioned, though her speech quiet, as she still felt distant from the reality she was now facing.
"You knew we were after you and yet you carried on with this shit!" Levi then burst from his anger, causing a Scout to pull him away from Erwin. Levi then knelt to the ground, weakness overcoming him as he now realised his friend's lives may have been spared if they had realised that Erwin was already one step ahead of them. Fury realised this too and she gritted her teeth as a tear of her own finally strolled down one of her cheeks, though she looked away to fight against her emotions.
But seeing Levi this way was painful for her to witness. She knelt down in front of him, and though she was looking at the ground, she placed her hand upon her friend's bloodied cheek.
"Don't, you'll regret it." She muttered quietly, unable to truly loom at him. Knowing Levi was to do something stupid, acting on his guilt and broken state. "If we begin to regret now, we'll dull out future decisions and others will have to make our choices for us. We can't be made to feel like how it was when we were down there…"
"Nobody could foretell this outcome." Spoke Erwin, as he reluctantly agreed with Fury. "Each decision you two now make will hold meaning to the next ones you decide upon. We're going the continue the expeditions. I expect you both to be there alongside me."
Erwin then fetched for his horse, leaving the two friends to deal with their loss on their own terms. As Erwin departed, he too had to overcome his own loss as he had noticed the detached body of Flagon among the dead Scouts.
Levi watched Erwin as he left to reform the Scouts so that they could head back to the walls. The man's words made sense to him, and he couldn't help but feel a form of respect for the him.
As for Fury, she rested her head upon Levi's shoulder as she was dealing with the loss of Farlan and Isabel within her head, in her own way. She couldn't help but feel that if she wasn't alongside Erwin, she could've been here and she could've saved them. A similar guilt to Levi's, evidently, and he knew that too.
He placed his arms around her, for a sense of comfort for them both as it then became too much for Fury and her tears finally poured from her eyes. Levi had calmed down, though still hurting himself. His main focus now was to make sure Farlan and Isabel were put to rest, but as for his future, he knew it would be among the Scouts. Whether or not Fury will remain was her own decision to make.
"…I'm sorry..." Fury muttered within Levi's arms, causing him to remember her saying those words earlier that day.
"Don't…" He spoke to her in a soft tone, about to mimic her words to him from moments before. "You'll regret it. We can't regret things anymore." He knew she had been holding these emotions back, but he didn't want her to become swallowed by them if she were to continue.
Fury came out from Levi's hold and she gently wiped her eyes, sighing, as she knew he was right.
"About what I said… Before…" Levi spoke on.
"No, you were right." Fury quickly responded, looking at him. "I should never have acted like I never cared for them. Now all I can do is give them a proper goodbye…"
Levi, with an intake of air, stood to his feet as he brought Fury up with him. "We'll do it together… Like we should have form the beginning."
