Part 19
To Fight or to Run
The only thing blocking Fury's way now was the wall itself. And there was three of them to pass. She clearly hadn't thought this through that much. She couldn't just walk through the Gates without being stopped for reasons and they sure as hell won't open the outer wall gate which she has passed through before to leave the security of the walls behind. Fury wondered if she could just use her ODM to bypass her way out of here, but even that would be a stretch. Could she lie her way passed the posted guards? Cheap, but it could work.
She knew it would be best to wait until the fall of night to at least attempt any of her foolish ideals. By now, she was sure Erwin and possibly Levi would be aware of her letter left to the Commander himself. She never did like goodbyes, but not being able to say it to them hurt as well. Fury knew this was for the best, in her eyes.
Fury has spent most of her young adult life asking questions but never receiving any answers. She doesn't know her parents, nor does she know if they could still be alive. And the place in which she spent her childhood was full of similar children just like her. All feeling alone, abandoned and stunned with confusion. When she was still known as Aya, she was highly targeted by other children. Even they could see through her facade and they viewed her as weak.
When Fury reached the raw age of 19, she began to think for herself and it was in her best decision to leave her upbringing behind. Well… We all know what happens after that. She was 29 years old now and what has she done for herself to show she has lived a meaningful life? Joining the Survey Corps? She wasn't sentimental and she had a critical way of viewing things but surely, there was more to it than doing this one thing? The flashes of Isabel and Farlan burned within her eyes.
Friends.
She has friends. They were still worth living for.
"Where do you think you're going?" Questioned Levi, somewhat glad he'd found Fury before she left. He'd clearly been informed to be on the look-out for her, but had he seen the letter? Fury spun around, almost in shock at Levi's presence. She put her hand on her chest to calm her breathing.
"It's not like you to be scared so easily…"
"It's not like you to just sneak up on people!" Fury countered with attempted logic, almost pouting.
Levi folded his arms, unamused. "Is that an attempted short reference on my behalf?"
The girl rolled her eyes in response. "If I wanted to call you short, I'd simply just call you a short arse."
"How pleasant of you." The male mocked. "So… Where are you going?" He looked her up and down. It was obvious to him as she was armed with her ODM and Cutters. Levi emitted a small sigh. He knew she was leaving. "At least take a horse with you."
Fury's eyes widened slightly. He was allowing her to just leave? But she soon understood. She knew that Levi was aware of her confliction. His attempted kindness she was thankful for.
Her gaze soon held itself towards to night sky. The moon was bright, the sky itself free of clouds. Fury's thoughts travelled back to the last night she spent with her friends. The night they all convinced Levi to allow them to go with him on their first expedition. This night was exactly the same and again, it involved Levi.
"Or you could stay…" Levi then went on to say, though Fury was not expecting him to suggest such a thing. "Do you want to run? Or do you want to stay and fight?" His opposed question caused Fury to re-think what she was doing. Was she running? Was this what she was truly doing, using her need for answers as the excuse over the truth? But did she also want to stay and fight? What exactly was she fighting for other than humanity's safety? A respectable goal, even if Fury did not believe humanity deserved it. Was this because she was or could be a Bloodborn? Reciting Erwin's tale, humanity purged them from existence out of what… Jealousy? Greed? Humanity erased the very people who kept them hidden from the Titans and as a consequence, those very monsters are now the biggest threat to humanity itself. Yet still, people treat each other like shit. They judge and they fight. Was that worth protecting?
However, Fury's mind was set. She needed enlightenment and that couldn't be achieved whilst cowering behind the walls. "Levi… though I'm not staying here to fight, that doesn't mean I won't continue to fight when I'm out there." The young woman revealed to him. "Out there, I will find myself. I will become what I want to become." She then looked directly as Levi himself with desperation in her eyes. "You know it… And I know it… If it's possible that I'm the world's last Bloodborn, I need to decide for myself if I want to stand and fight for humanity or fight for myself."
As much as Levi searched for a response, he could not muster one. How can someone redirect another person from their goals when they are similar to your own? He'd be a hypocrite for even attempting to do so. However, he wanted to reach for a reason to get her to stay.
"What of Erwin?" He noticed Fury frowned at the mention of his name. Levi had clearly struck a small nerve. "He has the barracks on lock down because of your fucked up head. The man clearly cares… It's rather sickening to watch if I'm honest."
So Levi wasn't aware of her letter. Fury was somewhat relived of that fact. "Erwin would understand." She muttered. "He's a man who is constantly seeking for a way forward for humanity. He knows, from the reports of what happened on the last expedition as well as Ilse's notebook, that I could be the possible answer. Until I'm ready myself, I can't have that burden upon my shoulders."
"You're not that special, Fury." Levi almost mocked, leaning against the wall. "You're just fucked up, that's all." That was almost a compliment from Levi in his own way. "You've been beaten and let down and yet you're still here. It's not that impressive but… most people in your position would have given into their self-doubts by now."
Much to his grievance, Levi emitted a small whistle which caused a lured horse to appear from behind him. It was his horse and he was giving it to Fury so that she had a better chance of surviving when out there.
"I'll tell Erwin I couldn't reach you in time."
Fury was confused. Why was Levi doing this? He'd just spent most of his time with her trying to get her to stay but now… now she has received his blessing. And here it was. The goodbye Fury wanted to avoid so badly. "I will come back…" She then somewhat promised, though it wasn't an outright promise itself.
She took the horse's reins as the animal was gently pulled towards Fury. As for Levi, he had said all that he could muster. But even he wasn't that sure that Fury would survive long out there on her own, despite knowing her skills were parallel to his own. His frown was apparent. For Levi, he genuinely believed this would be the last time he sees the last of his closest friends and it was a thought he was struggling to keep at bay.
But the male was soon encountered with a situation he did not know how to next deal with as Fury had wrapped her arms around him, not just hugging him but almost holding him with enough care that it was beginning to look obvious. Slowly, and with uncertainty, the male eventually held her in return. Fury's eyes were closed as she clung to this moment. Even she could not truly believe that she had just done this. She could almost barely care if it was making him uncomfortable. Fury just wanted to feel the comfort of someone who cared for her one last time, even if it was Levi and not Erwin.
"Fury…" Levi muttered as he was still clung to by the girl. He placed his hands on her hips, causing Fury to slightly pull away from their hug with each other. But the two now found themselves looking into each other's eyes. They were almost the same height, Levi being just about an inch taller, and the gaze was direct. With much fear, Fury quickly moved her head forward and left Levi with a gentle kiss upon his cheek.
She did not linger, however, and she pulled out of it as quickly as she moved in to do it. Fury didn't even give Levi the chance to respond with words either, as she mounted his horse and bolted it forward without thought.
Levi was left stunned, slightly disgusted and conflicted himself as he watched Fury ebb further away from him until she was out of sight completely. Levi himself was not emotionally attached to a lot of things but he couldn't help but subconsciously admit that he somewhat appreciated Fury's gesture. He questioned, that after all this time, was it him Fury needed and not Erwin? Now that thought was definitely unwelcome for Levi and he literally shook his head as a means to remove it.
The question for him now was would he see his friend again? Or was he himself now as alone as Fury used to feel?
