((Peeta's POV))

After hearing about the torture she endured, all I want to do is wrap her up in my arms again and make the pain go away. But as I stare silently through the single sided window at her, I know that I can't. That I won't be able to able to for a long time, if ever. Because even in her right mind before the Quell, there were no promises.

In both waking and sleeping hours, she thrashed in her restraints. I could swear that she has gone insane and that the real Katniss died in the arena. And it breaks me, not being able to help her. Seeing her like that is worse than anything I went through in the Games. Even worse than her rejection. Because at least back then I still had her.

I still can't speak, but I insist on being present when they send Prim in to talk to her. I sit downin the observation room with every fibre of my body on edge. Blue eyes bore into mine as Prim enters the room and they prepare her to go in there. I give her a weak smile and am answered with only a nod.

The moment Prim walks in is the first time I have seen Katniss relax since before the Quell announcement. And it is like she is a child again.

"Little Duck." Her eyes are filled with tears, and she pulls against the restraints to reach her dear sister. "Prim, I thought you died. I- where are we? Are we dead? Where is Dad? Mom?"

Prim winces and sits next to her sister on the hospital bed.

"Katniss, we're in District 13 - yes it's real, no the Capitol broadcasts were a lie- and very much alive. So is Mom. I'm sorry but... Dad is actually dead."

The tears openly flow now and Katniss desperately leans into Prim's gentle embrace. In this moment, Katniss is the one the size of a child, not her younger sister. If nothing else, she is much more emaciated.

It feels wrong to be watching them. I am about to leave when I hear her speak again. "It's all his fault. All of it!" Katniss bursts out, trembling so much that the cot shakes. Prim quickly retreats, scared by her sister's uncharacteristic anger in front of her. Her next words are calm, though her voice shakes.

"Who, Katniss? Snow?"

Katniss hisses, her eyes dark and her pupils dilated as she speaks in a hateful tone. "That terrible mut. Peeta. He's a mutt, Primrose! Do you hear me? He's here to trick me info trusting him, loving him-"

What?!

"-it's a trap. You cannot trust him. You can't. I won't let you!"

Her outburst echoes and all the whispering doctors fall silent. Prim has already backed up very far from Katniss, practically running to the door. "I don't understand, Katniss. Peeta loves you, loves us. He has done nothing but protect-"

"He's a MUTT, Primrose! He's a monster the Capitol made to take you away from me. He's a monster! A mutt!" Katniss explodes into insanity, wailing at the top of her lungs and thrashing. I can already feel the tears cascading down my cheeks, though I know that this is just the surface of the hatred Snow has instilled in her. And I know that it has all been to punish me.

She's not the same. Gone is the brave, passionate, and loving KatnissEverdeen. Gone is the girl in the red dress with two braids with such a beautiful voice that even mockingjays stopped to listen to her song.

Prim is shocked and quickly stumbles her way to the door, visibly upset.

"Don't let him take you from me! You're the only person I love!" Katniss is screaming at the top of her lungs, and her confession burns even though I know that I was never entitled to her love. Never deserved it. And it sounds like I never had it.

Prim is running from the room, scared and shaken. But I can't find it in myself to follow and comfort her because I'm still watching as Katniss screams and struggles. Nurses hold hold her still as another sedation needle is adminosteres, but she fights and flinched from their grip until she cannot fight the drugs anymore and she is dragged under.

I stay in front of that window all night watching the illusion of her sleeping peacefully. In reality, I know that the medication is simply turning her nightmares into an inescapable prison.

Eventually I nodd off.

((Peeta's POV))

I feel almost numb when I wake up and put my wrist under the printer, absent mindedly blowing on my newly inked schedule. In truth, I know that I will not follow single word of it. It's been another week and she hasn't made any major improvements. I would know, having sat in front of her these last days.

Even when she screams atrocious, hurtful things about me, I cannot deny that I will always loved her. That no matter how long it takes I will still be in front of that window believing she will come back to me. Even if it takes forever.

I make my way from my compartment to where she is being held. And I am surprised to find her smiling with Prim.

"That stupid cat will never fail to find a way to annoy me."

Prim seems go be on edge, expecting another 'episode.' But Katniss is joyful and teasing. When I see the IV in her arm, I know why. Morphling. It's keeping her calm, keeping her sane. Giggling, Prim gently smacks her, and Katniss momentarily flinche, retracting back Ingo herself for a few silent moments.

"You know that I love you more than anything else in this world, right Prim?" The words are shaky, almosg like she's afraid there won't be a reply.

"Of course, Katniss. Do you...do you want to see Mom?" Prim fiddles with her hands as she speaks, much like Katniss used to. Much like she would be if she weren't strapped to the cot. We all collectively hold our breath for her response.

But her reaction is measured and stoic. "Not now, Little Duck," Prim tears up at the nickname, "I don't know that I can handle needing someone else again. If she couldn't be my mother then, she definitely won't be able to now. You will always be enough for me."

I inhale sharply, the beach immediately coming to mind. And her fiery kiss. I'm still convinced that it had been genuine. It was so passionate, so innately Katniss.

But I do. I need you.

Prim looks sad, but understanding. Soon they return to meaningless chatter.

((Peeta's POV))
The next time I see Katniss, she is in handcuffs. She is just as thin and frail as she had been when she came here.
But they let her out. And that was a start. Prim waves her over and I stiffen, scared of Katniss's reaction to me being there. I don't want her to relapse, I don't want all of her progress to be lost.
But when she slips into the seat next to me, she does not even look in my direction. She idly talks to Prim, only looking into the eyes of her little sister.
And then Gale does something dumb. Naturally.
"Hey, Catnip."
Her head snaps up, eyes finding his, but as they do I feel her stiffen when she realizes my presence. Her expression from when she woke up in 13 is back, but this time it is directed at Gale.
Her breathing quickens, and I can practically feel her shaking. Gale looks desperate for her to acknowledge him, but I recognize the mistake for what is.
She starts spiraling. I am shoved away as her guards quickly grab her kicking and screaming form, making her disappear from my view.
Rather than look sad, Prim looks furious. She walks over and slaps Gale across the face, even though he could easily overpower her.
"What the hell, Hawthorne? She can't handle you. Not now, probably not ever." She screams in his face. I can feel the rest of the meal hall look away, pretending to not be listening.
Gale grabs her hands and furrows his brow at her. "She has no reason to be-"
"And how would you know about that? Snow knew about you kissing her, Gale. You really think he let her keep those memories intact?!" Prim spits in his face and I pry at Gale's grip on her hands.
"She needed you as a best friend, not as an entitlement to fulfill. She would not have said yes to you, Gale. And I'm glad that she never will!" Throwing her hands from his, she hurries from the room as the tears begin to flow.
It's the bravest and the most impulsive thing that I have ever seen Prim do. In that moment, she reminds me of Katniss.

Katniss's relapse isn't entirely a surprise to the doctors, but they scowl when Gale is named. Everyone seems to be defensive of their Mockingjay, even if they never knew her. And despite his dedication and loyalty to Alma Coin, Gale must already be on their sour sides.
Unable to sleep by himself in his compartment, Peeta continues to sleep in the observation room, Katniss both the first and last thing he sees every day.
He trusts that she'll come back to him, and he's willing to wait for all of eternity. He thinks of what their wedding vows would have been.
"Till death do we part."

In her dreams, she is weaving flower crowns of dandelions, filled to the brim with contentment. Sometimes she is accompanied by Rue and Prim, all of them giggling together like old school friends. Other times it is Dad, though those dreams tend to be made more of memory than fantasy. Her most frequent visitor was Peeta, and she found peace in their shared laughter in the meadow. Other times, there are children with them frolicking in the wildflowers.
Sometimes in her nightmares, she's the one on the other side of the glass. Peeta is the one screaming terrible things at her. Every morning she wakes wanting to make it right. To tell him she's sorry, to tell him she loves him.
Because in those endless hours of solitude, it was one of the many things she had sorted out. You know, in between torture sessions…
Now all she wanted was to truly marry him and spend the rest of her life in his arms, safe.
Make it right. Make it right. Make it right.
But in her waking, her memories are broken again and all she ever feels is fear and hatred. And her love for Peeta is buried beneath a conditioned response of fear.

The doctors stood in a circle surrounding the command table, all of them giving Peeta sympathetic glances.
Katniss was not well. She was barely floating above starvation. No matter how much they tube fed her, she wasn't seeming to gain enough weight.
Despite how calmly they talked, Peeta was petrified, worrying more and more over her health. Even as the talk became optimistic, he was still scared to his bones.
He couldn't lose her. He would never forgive himself. The weeks without her had shown him that. Not only his nightmares that left him screaming her name, but also the emptiness. He knew that had she died in the Quarter Quell (he wanted to barf at the mere idea), he would not have been able to keep going. He would sooner thrust Finnick's trident through his middle if it secured her even a moment more of safety.
His thoughts were spiraling as he was overtaken by images of her wasting away to nothing, leaving his last memories of her tainted with her newfound hatred for him.
It took a splash of water to his face for him to resurface from the drowning. Peeta spluttered and gasped, surprised to find that Haymitch had thrown a bucket of water on him not unlike how Katniss had woken their mentor before the Quarter Quell. Before it had all gone downhill.
The words out of Haymitch's mouth were harsh. "Peeta, get yourself together. What they have to say is important."
Drops of the water fell from every angle of his head until someone gave him a towel to wipe it away. The water weighed down his hair, his fluffy curls drenched and sticking to his forehead. His voice was shaky when he spoke next.
"There's more than just her deteriorating health, isn't there?"
The head doctor nodded, looking into Peeta's eyes with dread as he relayed the news. "Your baby isn't doing well."