Part 30
The Tattered Notebook

Day 11

"I've scouted the area. It's awfully quiet for a land that's supposed to be ruled by Titan's. I'm on my own out here. Can't rely on the Scouts for any aid this time. Leaving the wall… I know I've made the right choice. If I stayed any longer with these lingering questions, I'd of driven myself mad.

Who have I left behind that would even care anyway? Levi? No… My oldest friend, someone I can trust undoubtedly but he cares little for superstitions. Facts and proof have always driven him forward. The amount of times he'd simply leave the room if people would begin to only hypothesise.

And what of Erwin? I do not know… He's my… He WAS my Commander. Yet I always felt like he was lonely, despite the people he'd have surrounding him daily. He's fixated on freeing humanity. By now, I'm sure even he knows that I do support his dream.

"Why are you within the Scouting Legion?" He'd often ask, as an attempt to shake me. Honestly, I only followed Levi. But it was a promise to Isabel and Farlan at the same time, for they seemed to believe in the stupid ideal of freedom…"

Day 23

"I've come across what seems to be an abandoned settlement in the distance. Odd. Looking closer at it, it appears to be untouched by destruction that follows Titans. My instincts are… almost drawing me to that place, I don't understand why. I can't be reckless, not with my supplies now running low. I've only ever used the gas within my ODM to scale trees to attempt to gain a few hours sleep at night. And Levi's horse is beginning to grow weak from malnourishment. But I just can't overlook this settlement.

It's decided. At dawn, I'm going over there."

Day 24

"To think people have lived here for years… How is that even fucking possible? I can even hear the cries of Titans nearby and yet they overlook these people? Why? People are insects to Titans. They eat us without thought, yet they don't require food to sustain existence.

But here I am, now agreeing to stay among them after using the last of my gas in my chambers to slay two approaching Abnormal's. Why do I feel they attacked because I'm here?

This old man, Hexis, is like a Priest or something. He's definitely religious, raising his arms to the sun like he was… praising it or some shite. He keeps preaching about Bloodborn's. And the only thing that comes to my mind is the story Erwin told me about them. No fucking way are they real. That's some voodoo crap. Though, that day in the forest… With that Titan… I did something to it… And it felt the pain enough to start running away.

Seeing as how Levi's horse has bolted and I'm out of gas, I'm gonna have to stay with these strangers. Could these people have my answers?"

Day 37

"In the time I've been here, there has been no attacks from the Titans. Yet I can still hear them in the distance; wandering blindly without goals.

Hexis finally explained it all. This was once a Bloodborn settlement. And once I write here what they were capable of doing as a connected hive mind, it even makes me wanna believe that even in death, their wills prevailed to keep this place untouched.

Hexis speaks of them like they were protectors. Connecting to each other to create one barrier that kept Titans at bay from humanity. But those in power, such as the Government and the Royals, became jealous. The people cheered for the Bloodborn's to keep them safe, and often rebelled against those in power.

So those in power began creating propaganda and malicious lies. Convincing the people that the Bloodborn's, who had only ever protected them, that if they could so easily manipulate Titans by controlling their blood, then they could so easily turn on humanity and control them too. The people became scared, for they were easily mislead. It created what Hexis states was the Blood Purge. Yet the Bloodborn's refused to use their abilities to fight back on their attackers; on the people they once kept safe. Because of that, in a matter of years, the Bloodborn's were gone. And with each death, their barrier weakened. Soon, the Titans walked through it, and humanity learned to fear the giants once more. But it was too late to cry for help, for the help they had were now all dead.

Hexis went on to state this was one of the reasons the King had the walls built. They needed a new way to keep the Titans out from feeding upon the last of humanity.

There's more to this, I'm sure. If I'm one of these Bloodborn's, I need to know how and why."

Day 364

"It's almost been a year already. Still no bother from any Titans from the nearby forest I once found haven in.

Levi's horse appeared today. It had finally calmed down. If I do ever return to the walls, at least I can now give Levi his damn animal back.

Hexis has refused to share much more than that of the cause of the Blood Purge. I sure as hell don't wanna harass the guy, his age could have him pass out any day now.

I have to admit, I'm enjoying being here. It's… peaceful. Everyone is so kind towards the others, often helping with chores or farming food. Not once have I been looked at as the outsider. They accepted me more or less the same day I arrived. People like this… Do more exist? Would that be enough to suede my opinion about people in general? I've only ever been used to hatred and spite. Kindness was unfamiliar to me and yet I certainly welcome it."

Day 732

"Just over two years now. A few weeks ago, Hexis finally sat me down and gave me answers. I needed the time to absorb what I was told before I was even ready to repeat his words here in writing.

Apparently… Bloodborn's are pure bloods. Linked to a race of people called Eldian's. So, the old man admits that beyond this island we all live on, there may be more people than we ever thought.

If two pure Eldian's have sex and reproduce, it was often a high chance that child would be born as a Bloodborn. An individual with enough will to control living things, including Titans. The old man became stunned when I revealed that my name was Aya Tybur. It was my surname that paused him the most.

And then here it all came. The answers about my parents, about who I am and where I myself came from.
My mother was of the Tybur name. She was called Mia. My father seems to be some genocidal tyrant. And here I first thought he had my mother killed because ran off with a better lover, Wilhelm Muller. And yet she ran because she knew of the possibility of what I'd be when born.

I'm going off topic here… Fuck… So, same old shit happens, man meets woman. Woman falls in love. They both get married. Neither families agree to the arrangement. Sounds fucked up to me.

But Hexis states both my mother and Wilhelm had been given refuge here. In the same place I am now. They confided in the man. Told him all of this. During which I was still within my mother's womb.

They were fleeing Marley. For Mia's husband, Willy Tybur, wanted the child she carried dead. Wanted me dead. Hexis tells me if a Bloodborn became known, Willy feared he'd lose his popularity to the people the Tybur's somewhat ruled over in Marley.

Now… here comes the reason why I still seek this other man today. Kenny. Kenny was hired to hunt down my mother. He hunted them both down into the Underground… And it was HIM who fucking killed them. Did he know? Did he know who I was the day I met him myself and told him my name? It all makes sense! But why teach me, Kenny? Were you beginning to doubt Willy? You had your fun though, right? You sick fuck. Now you're becoming the hunted and when I find you, no forgiveness will be given!"

Day 1460

"So its been exactly 4 years since I left the wall. And now it's the day I know I have to go back…

Hexis has been… more than ill over the last few months. He's withering, but he remains strong. But I can't leave without saying goodbye to the man who has given me everything I need.

Alongside him, he has helped me somewhat finally use what I was born with. I can control Titans. It's only right that I return this knowledge to Erwin, if he's still alive.

Oh… how I've missed him. I never thought I could say those words…

There was… one incident, a couple of years back as I was still coming to terms with what I could do. It was like a wave that emitted out of me when I was trying to control a passing Titan in a distance away from the village. I ended up controlling the innocent around me. I saw their bodies bend in pain as their muscles fought against their own control. Their screams and cries, begging me to stop, sent a cold shiver down my spine and Hexis himself had to hit me to snap me out of it. I saw only fear and tear stained faces once I stopped. The Titan, never once controlled, passed by. I vowed to never use what I have on another person after what I did that day. Though I was forgiven, and most of the villagers spoke of their understanding, I can't forget their pained faces.

I worked hard after that. Growing bold enough the leave the village, pushing back one Titan after another. And though they felt pain too, I didn't care less. They were just barriers in my way that I needed to force aside.

Now, I'm ready to go home. Will I be welcomed back though? Levi… Are you still alive? You want your horse back, right?

Fuck… What is this I'm feeling? Nerves? When was the last time I felt like this, if ever?

I'm going to make this my last entry. This notebook is tattered enough. First, I better say goodbye to the old man. May be he can try one last time to convince me that not all people are bad. And though humanity made a great mistake with the Blood Purge, they deserve fighting for.

Bring it on, Hexis. I always loved your attempts to change my mind."