All the theories Jungkook thought about Taehyung and Hoseok's sudden and weird bond (because he thought about it, maybe too much) vanished once he saw Hoseok staring at his friend in Namwon.

Jungkook had seen that look before on his parents' faces when he was very young, while talking during dinner at the table, and doing laundry on Sundays, and holding hands in front of the old record player before dancing to the beat.

It was during instants like these that he saw how deeply his parents once loved each other.

"Hey!" Hoseok got out of the car in a hurry, with his arms open wide. He walked toward his friend, beaming and tugging him into an embrace. "Happy Birthday!"

The guy was standing on the sidewalk, looking tall and approachable. A soft smile on his face.

"I can't believe you're here." He closed his eyes and laughed while hugging his friend back. The yellow long-sleeve t-shirt he wore matched his yellow pants and yellow slippers and gave him a cosy look, warm enough for a chilly night like this.

"I told you months ago I'd be here, whatever it took."

"And it only took two boys with a car and a broken bus from a shitty company," Taehyung said with his hands placed where the rolled-down window was hidden. He had a grin on his face, eyes a little puffy after sleeping for the past hour.

Hoseok let go of his friend and laughed in Taehyung's direction, shaking his head. "Remind me to give them a bad review tomorrow."

"Hope you're talking about the bus company and not us," Taehyung said, making everyone grin, including Jungkook.

"Guys, this is my friend, Namjoon." Hoseok was smiling, face teased by the streetlights, eyes sparkling under them.

"Happy birthday," Jungkook said, followed by Taehyung echoing the same words.

Hoseok pointed at the car. "Joon, these are some friends from middle school. My holy saviours. It was fate bumping into them tonight."

Smiling, Namjoon's eyes moved to where the boys were sitting. "Nice to meet you."

Hoseok turned his whole body to face his friend. "Glad you answered the phone. I'm sorry to be here this late, though. You should be sleeping."

"It's okay, I couldn't sleep. I'm happy you came." Caressing Hoseok's shoulder, Namjoon showed an unabashed grin.

They started murmuring something Jungkook couldn't tell, laughter coming out of their mouths at the same time, making their shoulders shake. Jungkook tore his gaze away, hoping that the shadows filling the car could cover his face. He looked in the rearview mirror and checked the street to avoid being part of the reunion. But there was nothing out there that he could focus on. It looked like they were in the rural part of the city; consistent chirping sounds from crickets lay low in the background. Tall trees circled the road. The dirt pavement was completely empty.

Continuing the journey after helping Hoseok was Jungkook's next goal. The guy was in good hands now, no reason to drag it out any further. He was already imagining his time alone with Taehyung to finally talk about things that mattered, and maybe some more. He needed the opportunity before reaching Busan. But this conversation was taking much more time than he'd expected.

"Seriously, thank you for bringing him here," Namjoon said to the boys in the car, but with his eyes still on Hoseok. "This is… ridiculous. Best surprise ever."

Jungkook gave him half a smile. "No big deal."

"Oh, no, it is a big deal," Namjoon said with wide eyes. "It's— enormous. You guys drove all the way here, dropped Hoseok at my place…" He got caught up in his own thoughts for a second. Jungkook noticed the way he said Hoseok's name, like it was… precious. "I'm sorry. I'm feeling"—he made an impatient sound, as if he was struggling to find the right words—"sentimental."

A quick laugh escaped his lips before he shook his head. Hoseok grabbed both sides of his friend's arms, making a tsk sound with his tongue. The scent of freshly cut grass and rainy weather passed by after some trees swayed with the motion of a chilly breeze.

"Hey," Hoseok said. And there it was. The look Jungkook never thought he would see again. "It's your day. I really wanted to be here and celebrate with you." He gently put his right palm over Namjoon's cheek for a second before letting it drop to his side. "Wished we had spent midnight together but—"

"At least you're here now." Namjoon's hands were tight on his friend's waist. "I'm grateful."

Jungkook cringed, not sure why. He noticed Taehyung was leaning his head closer to him, wiggling his eyebrows way up to his forehead, and making a funny face that brought the corner of Jungkook's mouth up. The muffle sound that came out of him was closer to a snort than a laugh.

At the sudden noise, Namjoon turned his attention to the car. "Wait. Let me return the favour." Loosening the grip on Hoseok's body and gesturing to somewhere at the back, he said, "We have a guest room. You both should stay with us for the night."

They were parked directly in front of an open wooden gate, where the beginning of a dirt road could be seen. Jungkook wondered if at the end of it was Namjoon's house.

"That would be nice." Enthusiasm flashed in Hoseok's eyes. "You guys could get some rest and then leave tomorrow."

Jungkook and Taehyung glanced at each other simultaneously. Jungkook could feel a slight pressure coming from the other boys, his head already working on declining the offer.

"It is kinda late," Taehyung said, getting a raised eyebrow from Jungkook and what seemed to be an almost glare. "You haven't slept much."

"That's true." Hoseok leaned on Taehyung's door with wary eyes stuck on Jungkook. "Aren't you tired?"

Namjoon mirrored his friend's action, sticking their heads together near the window. Jungkook noticed the contrast of their hair colors; the light from the glowing lamps outside gave Hoseok an orange hue, while Namjoon's head was dark gray thanks to the shadows.

But Jungkook's eyes were fixated on the small proximity between them. If one of them moved his head to the side, just a little, they could kiss. Jungkook breathed out and scratched his neck, inwardly cringing at the pictures his imagination was putting inside his head.

"I'm fine, thank you." His eyes settled near the passenger's door where the boys were staring at him. "I'm not tired. I can keep driving. We have to keep going." Jungkook looked at Taehyung for help, but his former neighbor wasn't paying him any attention.

"What about you, Tae?" Hoseok asked.

Taehyung was glancing down at his hands and rubbing the fabric of the seat. The place between his eyebrows had soft wrinkles, and Jungkook wondered if he was actually considering staying the night or was just trying to come up with an excuse. Taehyung had to be in a hurry, too. Busan and Daegu were waiting.

Jungkook tried again, thinking maybe Taehyung needed the help. "We still have a long way to go."

"Actually…" Taehyung tilted his head up and grinned at Hoseok, showing a joyful glint in his eyes. Jungkook was sure about what was coming. "It would be great to rest." Taehyung looked at Jungkook. "Right?"

Jungkook knew he should've said no, because spending the night and waking up at a stranger's house, mixed with the small talk he would have to make with people that only knew the old him, would be too overwhelming. But at that moment, under those familiar eyes and big smile he didn't know he'd missed so much, Jungkook remembered how he never enjoyed saying no to Taehyung.


The first thought that came to Jungkook's mind, after driving down the dirt road and parking the car next to a black SUV, was how intimidating everything looked.

It was all dark. There were a few trees of different sizes protecting the house, thick branches hugging the windows and roof tiles. The faint light from the moon up in the sky created shadows in every corner, giving the place a strange, enchanting glow. It was like a house from those fantasy books Yongsun used to read and tell Jungkook all about. He would've believed the place was full of fantastic creatures if Namjoon hadn't told them his uncle was sleeping inside.

"Let's try to be quiet," Namjoon whispered at the front door after stamping his flippers on a mat and taking them off. "My uncle stayed up late, so he must be exhausted."

The rest of them followed, socks brushing mildly over the wooden floor after taking off their shoes. A musty smell floated around the place. Some curtains were drawn, letting the moonlight slip in. But there were no lamps shining inside, so Jungkook focused on staying closer behind Namjoon and Hoseok to avoid bumping into furniture.

A few steps inside of what probably was the living room, something tugged at the back of Jungkook's jacket. In a reflex reaction, he snatched his arm to his lower back, feeling his fingers against a stiff hand.

"Can't see a thing," Taehyung whispered, his breath close to Jungkook's nape, grip tightening on his clothes.

Goosebumps rose on Jungkook's skin as he let Taehyung lean on him, all the way to a door that showed a long, narrow hallway waiting in the dark, threatening to swallow whoever dared to get closer.

"Here." Namjoon exhaled, leading Jungkook and Taehyung to one of the first doors to the right. When Namjoon switched the light on, Taehyung's hand let go of Jungkook. "There is a bunk bed and some towels in the closet in case you want to take a shower tomorrow."

They entered the room and looked around. The structure holding the two beds seemed stable, with hard futons as mattresses, clean covers, and plain pillows on top. A ragged closet stood tall in the other corner, and some old beige curtains were hiding a window. Everything had a modest look, yet felt kind of lifeless.

Namjoon cracked a smile, opening his mouth to say something when a low voice seeped from his left. He grabbed the doorknob and closed the door under Jungkook's worried gaze before saying, "Wait here."

Jungkook's stomach turned. Namjoon's uncle must have heard them arrive and was probably interrogating his nephew now, asking for everyone to leave. Jungkook would be lying if he said the idea of going back on the road worried him. He might even be okay with it. But spending the night in a bed instead of driving in a piece of trash sounded good, after all.

"You're overthinking."

Turning his face to Taehyung, Jungkook saw him with his eyebrows arched and a faint smirk on his face.

"I'm not."

"You are. It's in your mouth."

Jungkook rubbed a hand on his jaw on impulse. "What's wrong with my mouth?"

"Nothing's wrong. You just kinda do this weird thing with it. You were doing it while we were talking to Hoseok hyung at the gas station." Taehyung went over to the lower futon, leaving his backpack there and his violin case on the floor. The whole bunk bed squeaked. "Then you did it again in the car. And you're doing it now."

After taking off his jacket, Taehyung grabbed a piece of clothing and smelled it, putting his baseball cap aside.

With a hand on his hip and one foot in front of the other, Jungkook ignored what Taehyung had said and watched him turn around. He was trying to pull his t-shirt over his shoulders but stopped when Jungkook shouted in a whisper, "What are you doing?"

Taehyung's fingers froze, holding the fabric at his chest. Without putting it down, he glanced at Jungkook over his shoulder, showing a perky grin. "Undressing?"

He planned it as a question, voice tilting up towards the end. Jungkook attempted to not find it funny.

"I can see that," Jungkook said, trying to stop his lips from twitching up while gesturing with his hand in the air.

"And?" Barely containing an eye roll, Taehyung continued changing his clothes.

"Well." Jungkook's eyes found the exposed skin on Taehyung's lower back, carved with shadows that stressed his lean muscles. "Namjoon's probably talking to his uncle right now and—" Everything looked tanned and way too soft, and Jungkook's body remembered how easy it was for him to react to images like this. In one swift movement, he adjusted himself down there before Taehyung could notice. "I'm just thinking. Maybe we should wait for Namjoon to come back."

Realizing he'd been staring for too long, Jungkook shook his head and looked down.

"See? You think too much about everything." Taehyung was now dressed in a floral beige pajama set. "Why don't you try to relax? Take a deep breath," he said as his chest grew with air before he moved one hand in a circle, sounding tired. "If something happens, then I'll get back to the car like this. It wouldn't be the first time wearing my pajamas outside."

Jungkook lightly snorted. He was ready to say something in response, to prove to Taehyung that what he said was a plausible scenario, when the door opened and a grinning Namjoon slid into the room.

"All good. If you guys need anything, please let me know. My room is across from this one."

After hearing Namjoon's words, a slight tremor of anticipation made Jungkook shiver. Realization hit him at that moment. They were actually staying. He was going to share a room with Taehyung and spend the night near him.

"Thank you, hyung. We owe you one." Taehyung sounded much too cheerful as he stared at Jungkook with a teasing glimmer in his eyes.

The slightest sign of a crooked smile touched Jungkook's lips, although he did not let it show. He just probably should listen to Taehyung and stop worrying too much.

"No problem. Just one more thing." Namjoon stopped in his tracks, one finger in the air. "I told my uncle we were friends. That you knew Hoseok from school and that we met once in Seoul. Have you guys been there?"

Jungkook shook his head 'no' at the same time Taehyung said, "I've been, but only once."

"It's okay, my uncle won't ask much. He's pretty chill, though he's been through a rough time lately. He might seem a bit… harsh at first? But he's nice."

"Letting us stay here for the night is way more than nice. Thank you." Taehyung bowed.

"Yeah, thank you," Jungkook said, joining.

Namjoon gave them a curt nod and left, silence returning to the room. Taehyung went back to his stuff while Jungkook scratched his neck. He might as well change his clothes, go to bed, and worry about everything else tomorrow.

Dragging his feet into a corner, he started sorting through his duffle bag. He was used to sleeping with boxers only, but he didn't want to make Taehyung uncomfortable. An old t-shirt and black sweatpants were the best option for now.

After changing his clothes and putting the rest of his stuff away, Jungkook checked the time on his phone. He made a calculation in his mind of how many hours he would have to sleep to drive at 8 AM.

At least six hours.

Not bad.

"Can you turn off the light?" Taehyung asked before getting under the covers.

Jungkook reached for the switch, letting the darkness consume the room completely. The white light coming from his phone's screen was now illuminating his face, which allowed him to approach the window with no incidents.

He rested one shoulder against the wall and unlocked his phone, quickly giving in to his addiction to checking social media whenever he could. Having a glimpse of other people's lives was his strongest fixation lately.

The second he opened Instagram, his fingers absent-mindedly skimmed through the pictures and videos from hours ago. He saw a pic his friend Wheein shared, showing her outfit for the night with a red cup in her hand. He liked it and left a black heart emoji in the comments like he always did.

Not a second later, he received a direct message.

whee_in

where are you?

you emo kid

Dressing in all black was what always Wheein mocked him about, teasing him during their many shared mornings last year at school, saying that he would be the perfect emo boy in a depressed coming-of-age movie, to which Jungkook always answered with a raised middle finger in front of her face. He really liked Wheein.

0901_jjk

I'll tell you all about it if you stop with the emo shit

Now that he was going to Busan and staying there forever, he wished—really, really wished—Wheein didn't stop.

whee_in

you know I won't

got the rumour you left

I can't believe you did it without saying goodbye

He sighed. She was probably at that party at Taehyung's friend's house.

0901_jjk

seojoon?

whee_in

yeah

yugyeom was there too

Shit. Jungkook went straight to the search bar and typed Yugyeom's nam. There were no messages from him, but Jungkook knew he would have to talk to him soon. He cared for Yugyeom and wanted to keep him as a friend. For that to happen, Jungkook would have to explain what went down with JB.

Yugyeom's last post flashed up on the screen, a blurry pic with a black background, provoking Jungkook's curiosity. He pressed it with his thumb with so much pent-up eagerness that he ended up liking it by mistake. He winced, realizing it wasn't even a picture, but a video. After desperately trying to unlike it, a loud noise boomed out of the phone speakers, filling the room with something like Skrillex music, scaring Jungkook to death.

The video stopped with a swift movement of Jungkook's fingers when a growl from the lower bed echoed off the walls. Jungkook quickly closed the app and cringed into infinity, hoping that the dead silence could swallow whatever the fuck just happened.

The talk with Yugyeom would have to wait.

Wasting no more time, and ignoring the goosebumps on his skin, Jungkook left his phone inside his duffle bag and pulled his body onto the top bed, over the cover that smelled of neutral detergent.

His heart raced up as soon as the springs under the futon screeched, cutting through the air.

Taehyung groaned for a second time, louder.

Taking a deep breath, Jungkook waited a few seconds and adjusted himself, looking for a better position. But when he rolled over on his side, the whole thing cracked. Again.

"Shit."

"What's up with all the noise?" Taehyung asked, voice muffled, probably by a pillow against his face.

Jungkook shut his eyes. "I'm trying to be quiet, but this bed—"

"Just don't move."

A small snort dripped from Jungkook's mouth while he ran a hand through his hair. He finally forced his eyes close, the room falling silent to where only their breathings were discernible. But then another crackling sound filled the space, and Jungkook thought for a moment that he'd accidentally done it, highly considering spending the night awake in fear of moving too much. But after a second crack, he figured what was going on.

"Really?" Jungkook hushed, tilting his head up and opening his eyes to the darkness.

Taehyung whined. "I can't stop."

"You were just complaining about the noise."

"Yeah, because I was falling asleep and then you kinda woke me up, so..." Taehyung's voice was followed by a chorus of popping knuckles.

Jungkook shook his head. He tried to avoid a grin. He really did. "Please, stop. It's so weird."

"Weird? It's nice. Music to my ears. Nice enough to fall asleep to it. The least I can do for you, for kindly helping me stay awake."

"It's not my fault you chose the lower bed. Up here this thing cracks like it was made for it." Something tingled in Jungkook's chest. He felt like a little kid again on a sleepover night, arguing about stuff like this.

"I never liked sleeping on the upper bed. It feels lonely up there."

Jungkook huffed out a breath. "Yeah, maybe."

"Besides, here I can do this."

The room fell silent. Jungkook rolled his head to the side, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did.

"What?" he asked, not getting an answer.

Taehyung was quiet long enough for Jungkook to believe he had fallen asleep. Well. Facing the ceiling and letting out a sigh, Jungkook got to it. But just when he was absorbed in his own thoughts, mind eased to the stillness, Taehyung punched the underside of the springs of Jungkook's bed with his foot.

"The fuck?" Jungkook gasped after almost falling out of the futon.

Taehyung burst out laughing. "Come on. It wasn't that hard."

"You're a pain in the ass." Jungkook couldn't fight the smile on his face as he raised his hand in a fist and hit the futon back.

To no one's surprise, the bed cracked again.

There was no noise for at least a second, until Taehyung's laughter rumbled to the upper bed, releasing some of the tension Jungkook had on his shoulders. He felt the urge to join him, laughing not too loud to be heard outside of the room but free enough to feel his chest shake. And it was nice to laugh together like this. It brought a fluttering sensation on Jungkook's ribcage, widening his grin.

"I just remembered that summer camp with Minhyun when you guys had to share a bed," Taehyung said after their laughter died. Jungkook could hear a smirk in his voice, and Jungkook had to rub a hand over his mouth to make his own disappear.

"That really sucked."

"Not us staying there for only three nights, calling your dad to take us back home."

Jungkook wrinkled his nose, body relaxing to Taehyung's deep voice. "We knew we had to get out of there from the moment we saw the rooms."

"The worst. I wonder if that camp is still running. My grandma told me some months ago there were serious issues with the place last time she checked."

"No shit?"

Taehyung hummed. Jungkook could picture him nodding.

A different type of silence filled the room, more easy to listen to. But Taehyung was quick to change the subject. "I don't think I'll ever stop doing it. The cracking-my-neck-and-fingers thing."

Jungkook dragged his eyes open and looked at some shadows creeping across the dark ceiling above him. "I actually thought you'd be over it by now."

His twelve-year-old self once hoped that it was just a phase after Taehyung saw someone popping his neck at school and imitated them. He never imagined Taehyung would become obsessed.

"It really calms me down," Taehyung admitted. "And I can't stop. I have this strange feeling that won't go away unless I pop every little bone I have."

Jungkook wished he could get it, but he had no obsessions like he knew about, that he could use to build a bridge of understanding between them. He simply settled on sharing information he once read to keep the conversation going.

"Did you know it's not the bones that make the sound but little bubbles of gas between the bones?"

"What?" Taehyung let out a disbelieving laugh. "Gas?"

"Yeah, it's just gas."

"You're saying I've been making my fingers and neck fart this whole time?"

It was something so random, so fucking unpredictable to hear that Jungkook burst out laughing—an effortless, pleasant laugh. The one that always ended up morphing his face.

Forgetting about his brow, he winced at the quick stab of pain. He would be definitely going to the bathroom tomorrow morning to check on it.

"You okay?" Taehyung asked, laughing with a bit of concern in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

Jungkook caressed his temple with his fingers and smiled at the way Taehyung could smoothly change the energies in a room, from one second to the next. It made Jungkook relax and get almost excited at the idea of talking about anything.

"What you just said..." Jungkook fought hard to avoid laughing again. "Imagine if one day you get hurt or die and people call it 'neck farting.'"

Taehyung let out a throaty chuckle. "Glad it's been years and nothing bad has happened to me."

"Okay, but what if?" Jungkook said with a sleepy voice, drawing the words out. Perhaps it was the laughter, or Taehyung's jokes, or finally resting on a bed after driving, but Jungkook was fully comfortable for the first time that night, body feeling lighter. He shouldn't be surprised that talking with Taehyung came so naturally, yet he somehow was. He just rolled with it before his thoughts could come between him and having a good time. "What if one day, let's say in your seventies, when you're all alone in your room, you pop your neck so hard it ends up killing you?"

Taehyung snorted. "Who the heck says I'll be alone in my room?"

Jungkook let out a huff of air, a lazy smirk tugging at his lips after hearing Taehyung's playful tone.

"I just hope I'm the biggest rock'n'roll star in my seventies, enjoying my free time with some groupies in my room." Taehyung groaned. "I just hope it won't happen while experiencing the best suck of my life."

Jungkook yanked his head up and frowned at the image of an unknown mouth giving head to an old version of Taehyung.

"Why did you put that image in my brain?"

"But based on my luck," Taehyung said, completely ignoring Jungkook as irony threaded his words, "I bet it'll happen when I'm in Daegu. Maybe I'll be on TV. 'Kim Taehyung, accidentally dead in his birth town by cracking his neck.'"

Jungkook stared at the ceiling again, thinking about how it would be like to hear this news while living in Busan. Would it be a surprise? Would he even cry? Something squeezed his chest, and his lungs turned somehow small at the thought, an emotion that Jungkook couldn't really name. He wanted to keep up with the sarcastic, joking vibes at the moment, so he corrected him.

"It will say 'by farting' your neck, not 'cracking'." Taehyung punched the springs again, surprising a laugh out of Jungkook. "But hey, you could definitely end up in that thing called a thousand ways to die. The ridiculous version."

"Shit." Taehyung sounded sluggish, voice buried under a yawn. "I could get in the Guinness World Records."

Putting a hand behind his head, Jungkook sighed, rests of a grin still on his face. "It has nothing to do with records. They will put you in a book so people can know how to avoid doing the same thing."

"Whatever. It could still be a record." Taehyung's voice was drowsy and smooth, and Jungkook fought against falling asleep so he could keep hearing it. "Maybe I should start counting how many times I can crack my neck before dying."

"Yeah." Jungkook breathed out. "You should totally do that."

Taehyung sounded barely awake at that point. "I will."

In the silence that came with the conversation ending, everything was at ease. For a moment, all Jungkook could hear was Taehyung's breathing; a soft sound, even and regular. Jungkook tried to match the pattern, taking his time to breathe in and then exhale through his nose just the way Taehyung was doing.

There was a familiarity with how Jungkook was feeling rested, just by laying like this in the same place as Taehyung. It brought a warm feeling to his body while he surrendered to the tiredness of the night, doziness bathing every inch of his muscles, his mind slowly shutting down and drowning in a pleasant nothingness.

The silhouette of his mother visited him in his nightmares again. But if he made any noise while being unconscious, Taehyung didn't mention it.


Jungkook knew he wasn't at his house even before his eyes snapped open. Like his body was aware that everything surrounding him belonged to someone else.

An electric current buzzed from his brain to his limbs, taking full control over his movements. He fluctuated between being rested and tired, all at the same time, but deep in a state of alertness that prevented him from falling back to sleep. It felt as if he had only spent a few minutes in bed instead of the hours he must have actually slept.

The first thing he saw was the ceiling, not dark grey but white, full of cracks that led nowhere. The light that filtered through the see-through curtains, which shone like the six o'clock morning beam he used to see during his school days, was momentarily blinding. Thankfully, he blinked, and his eyes adjusted quickly.

He breathed in, the smell of wood and laundry detergent filling his lungs. Rolling to the edge of the bed, he rubbed one hand against his forehead and looked down.

The bottom bed was completely empty, with only the cover and a pillow sprawled on the futon. Jungkook's eyes darted through the small room in search of Taehyung but found no one. For a second, his heart sunk in his stomach, imagining Taehyung had run away without him. Would he do that? Take the car?

But when his eyes found Taehyung's stuff on the floor next to the bed, his sudden nerves eased and he breathed again.

Why he'd thought Taehyung would do something like taking the car and leaving without saying nothing, Jungkook didn't know. He was just glad the violin case was still there. It definitely meant Taehyung was somewhere in the house.

Taehyung's bag next to the instrument wasn't big, but it looked heavy. The idea that it contained all of Taehyung's belongings numbed Jungkook for a moment. Like his own duffle, full of stuff that once filled his closet. He was sure he'd left some things behind he might miss, but the essentials were with him. Maybe someday he could go back to his dad's house to get the rest. Maybe sell it.

A sudden sense of longing spread throughout Jungkook's chest. He was sure he'd end up missing his house in Gwangju, but hoped the feeling wouldn't last.

Muffled voices echoed outside in the hallway as Jungkook rubbed a hand on his hair. His eyes landed on the door as a cool air prickled the back of his neck. It was probably time to get up and move, find the bathroom first, given that it had been too many hours since he'd last peed.

With a bit more energy, he got out of the bed and landed on the floor, hearing the wood screeching. He half smiled, Taehyung's laughter from last night still ringing in his ears.

He walked over to his backpack and grabbed his phone, finding a new message from his father that Jungkook preferred to ignore. He checked the time instead.

7 AM.

Ah, shit. A groan left his mouth when he figured he'd only slept for 4 hours.

With his phone in hand, he grabbed the clothes he used yesterday and patted them, thinking of taking the shower Namjoon had offered him. He found a clean towel in the closet and reached for the door.

He stepped out and saw the same narrow hallway from last night, now naked and long in broad daylight. It had peeling paint in some places and it looked a little dirty, as if the construction work wasn't finished. There were also no family pictures or decorations on the walls. Just doors.

He glanced at the end of the hall, seeing a door with a little green tree hanging from it. Trying not to make any noise, he strode across the wooden floorboards and reached for the little figurine, touching it gently. The thing left a mint scent on the tip of his fingers, which made him smile. It took him a moment to notice the sound of the shower mixed with someone's whistle on the other side of the door.

Closing his eyes, Jungkook identified Taehyung's voice. He listened to him humming to an Incubus song that Jungkook could recognize.

Without using much pressure, Jungkook put his palm on the panels and listened closely. The white door moved an inch, the noise of the water running down the drain louder than before. Taehyung hadn't locked the door, and Jungkook felt like a pervert after realizing he could look. That he wanted it to.

What the hell.

He squeezed his eyes shut, holding his things near his chest with more strength than necessary, when a door to his left opened abruptly, making him bounce.

"Good morning," a man said with growing excitement.

He was wearing a brown shirt; the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, along with a pair of worn out jeans. The clothes were dirty and Jungkook wondered if the man had been outside gardening.

"Good morning," Jungkook said, remembering to bow.

"I don't have my glasses with me, so I can't see you that well. But nice to meet you. I'm Sejin, Namjoon's uncle."

"Nice to meet you, Sir. Thank you for letting us stay the night."

"Right. You arrived here pretty late. Were you able to sleep?"

Jungkook gave him a quick nod as the man eyed him wearily, like waiting. Jungkook didn't know what else to say or do, feeling the silence building.

"So, are you Taehyung or Jungkook?"

Jungkook made a face after realizing he hadn't introduced himself.

"I'm Jeon Jungkook," he said in a rush, bowing again with his eyes closed.

"Good." Sejin clapped his hands together, wincing briefly at the noise. "We'll be having breakfast soon. Come by the kitchen when you're ready."

"Thank you very much for the offer, but we'll be heading out soon."

"Aren't you staying for your friend's birthday?"

The water inside the bathroom stopped, followed by the sound of the shower curtain being pulled aside. Jungkook panicked for a whole stressful, silent second under Sejin's stare. It was true that Namjoon had said they were friends. It would be rude to leave the house before even having the first meal of the day with the birthday person who was also the one who offered them a bed. Well, shit.

"Yes, we'll definitely stay. Thank you." Jungkook bowed again.

"Great." Sejin's voice sounded dry, but the smile on his face grew wider. "Come when you're ready."

As soon as the man left, Jungkook let out a deep breath, feeling the tension dissipating. He then turned around to the gaping door, but before he could do anything, Taehyung appeared in the doorway. The smell of soap and shampoo encircled him.

"Are you going to shower so you can leave without me?" There was an accusation in Taehyung's tone, but Jungkook saw hints of humour dancing in his eyes.

Feeling loose around him thanks to their conversation last night, Jungkook gave into a warm smile. "I could ask you the same thing."

Taehyung sniffed, the sun coming from the window hitting his back.

He was naked from the waist up, a clean shirt hanging on his left arm along with a used towel. There were drops of water all over his shoulders, sliding to his collarbones and down to his chest. Miles of skin, endless— Shit. Jungkook snapped his eyes up. He didn't want to be this obvious at checking Taehyung out.

Taehyung looked at him with a smirk, playful eyebrows arching up. He ran a hand through his wet hair and tucked—yes, fucking tucked—it behind his ear. And somehow that tiny detail was the one that caught Jungkook's attention the most. Taehyung looked good last night against the light coming from the lamp in their room, but he was gorgeous against the sun. Jungkook's dick apparently agreed after twitching for the second time in Taehyung's presence in less than twenty-four hours.

"Who were you talking to?"

Jungkook cleared his throat, voice coming out weird only because his tongue was dry inside his mouth. "Namjoon's uncle. We'll be staying for breakfast."

"That's actually great. It means free food." Taehyung narrowed his eyes at Jungkook and let out a short laugh. "You're overthinking again."

"Maybe."

Taehyung grinned. "You should turn off your brain for a little while. It'll be great, trust me."

He moved away from the threshold to let Jungkook get inside the bathroom and began walking down the hall backwards with an arm in the air, the one that had been grabbing his towel and shirt. By doing that, he let a piece of skin down near the left part of his stomach show, where Jungkook's eyes found a tattoo, printed near the V that his jeans barely hid.

"Have fun in there."

Jungkook went rigid, eyes stuck on Taehyung until he disappeared behind their room door.

A fucking tattoo?

The eleven-year-old version of Taehyung popped up in Jungkook's head, saying in his squeaky voice how much he wanted to have an inked body like some of his favorite rock idols. Jungkook never believed him, because tattoos looked extra painful. He was more than surprised that Taehyung had gone with it.

Jungkook didn't exactly see what it was, but the thing looked like words. Maybe someone's name or an inspirational quote. Perhaps some song lyrics based on Taehyung's personality. It definitely didn't look badass, like bleeding roses or black skulls. It was actually soft, like written with a pencil.

After hanging his towel and taking a leak, Jungkook got undressed. But under the shower, waiting for the water to warm up, he was still thinking about it.

He couldn't stop.

His muscles slowly relaxed with the heat after a few minutes of waiting. And yet it could not help him lull his mind. Every corner was packed with images of Taehyung's naked torso, shadows covering his skin, the same skin against the morning sun, wet after the shower. That soft tattoo that didn't match the boy wearing it. Jungkook wanted to look at it and touch it and know its story.

This was impossible. Jungkook's chest felt tight, just like when he was fourteen after discovering he enjoyed looking at Taehyung way too much. A tiny, friendly obsession that he realized wasn't so friendly after he grew up. Everything was coming up again to get him, and the only thing he could think of was Taehyung walking backwards with a smirk on his face and drops of water falling from his hair.

Jungkook groaned, with a hand on the cold white tiles in front of him as the sound of the water falling into the drain vibrated through the place.

Maybe he had to get it all out of his system somehow. This pent up frustration that was making him confuse things. With everything that's happened, Jungkook was probably just exhausted. Giving in this one time could actually be a good way to let go.

Annoyed at himself for making it more complicated than what it probably was, Jungkook followed Taehyung's advice and stopped thinking. He just breathed in and out, shut his eyes, curled his wet fingers around his already hard cock, and searched for that release he highly needed.


The embarrassment hit Jungkook half an hour later, while sitting at Sejin's medium-sized kitchen table as the others did small talk and prepared some tea.

Taehyung's face was directly in front of him, but Jungkook preferred to focus on the several dishes of food that made the room fragrant with the scent of mushrooms and peppers.

It was a large kitchen, although not as spacious as the living room. But it was the only place in the house that Jungkook had been in that didn't seem to be half-done. In all the other rooms Jungkook had found essential pieces of furniture, but nothing really felt lived in. Except the kitchen. There was definitely something different here.

A cottage look was plastered in every corner of the room, the one Jungkook had only seen in pictures in random Twitter threads. The wooden windows were letting beams of sunlight flood through, showing the backyard full of greens and big trees and fresh flowers. Jungkook would have believed he was in another country if it wasn't for all the Korean brands he saw through the cabinet's doors made of glass.

"Namjoon didn't tell me you were coming," Sejin said to Hoseok with a small smile as he filled a cup with tea and handed it to him.

Hoseok shifted in his chair, accepting the steaming mug with dimples on his cheeks. "I wanted to surprise him. But then the bus broke."

"I'm happy you came." Namjoon gently touched Hoseok's shoulder and squeezed it.

"What about you guys?" Sejin asked, not even looking up from the new cup he was filling.

Jungkook's gaze crossed with Taehyung's for a fraction of a second until Taehyung looked at Sejin.

"I'm going to Daegu. Jungkook here was kind enough to share the ride with me."

Sejin peeked at Taehyung over his glasses while leaving the mug in front of him. "Do you have family there?"

"Yes." Taehyung rolled his neck and grabbed the cup with one hand. Jungkook took advantage of Taehyung's distraction to stare at him, noticing his lips in a half grin and his eyes blank, similar to the expression he showed outside of the convenience store where they met yesterday. "A cousin."

"What does he do?"

Hoseok had leaned in Namjoon's space and they were giggling about something. But Jungkook only focused on Taehyung while he answered Sejin's questions. His face looked too… practiced .

"He works in the IT department of a company I can't really remember the name of right now." Taehyung huffed out a short laugh, pink dotting his cheeks.

"That's a nice job. And well paid from what I've heard."

Taehyung shook his head 'yes,' his fingers tapping the ceramic mug in front of him. "He's been working since he dropped out of college. Actually, after he spent an entire year abroad."

"I wanted to do that," Namjoon chimed in. His hand had found Hoseok's shoulder again, massaging over the shirt. Jungkook wondered if Namjoon was always this affectionate, or if he was just touched by the fact his friend was here with him.

"It's best to study something first. Jobs are better with a degree. If you want to travel, you can try after college."

Namjoon winced at his uncle's words before taking a bite of his veggies. The speech reminded Jungkook about what his father always said, full of motivational quotes he used on Yongsun and Jungkook when they were growing up. It all stopped once Yongsun left for Busan.

"Don't give me that look," Sejin warned with a chopstick in Namjoon's direction, who was now laughing with Hoseok. "You know how Chen left, and he's— Where is he? Australia. He's still there, and he's doing random jobs, with no college experience."

Taehyung's chopsticks fell to his plate after taking some veggies. Jungkook saw Taehyung's features tensing, a frown showing up on his forehead.

"Sorry," Taehyung said, showing a shy smile while cleaning the table with a napkin.

Averting his gaze, Jungkook focused on his food. He wished they could avoid the college topic, to be honest. But he wasn't going to protest.

"Who's Chen?" Hoseok asked, looking at Namjoon.

"He was the neighbor's son. We were around the same age, and every summer I came here to spend time with my uncle, he would hang out with me."

"You talk about him as if he was dead," Hoseok sniffed, drinking his tea.

"We haven't seen each other in years. Since he and a friend moved to Australia. I guess the jobs were good there."

"They are. Australia has great opportunities for foreigners." Sejin nodded. "But college education is always important. You'll thank me for the advice when you get older."

Namjoon rolled his eyes with a grin, and Hoseok laughed. Jungkook found himself surprised by the bond Sejin had with his nephew. The man acted like an authority, but he let Namjoon treat him almost like a brother.

Even though Yongsun was Jungkook's sister, their relationship had suffered some drastic changes through the years. Jungkook guessed the distance and all the other stuff was to blame. Because they kept talking after she left for Busan, but not like they used to. Yongsun didn't even have Twitter or Instagram, only the message app. The only way to know what she was up to was through a text. Or a call, but Jungkook didn't like those. No big deal, though. He never felt the need to talk about his day or problems with people. He was all good by himself.

"I've heard Australia is cheaper, and it's easy to get a visa," Taehyung said while picking at his food. Jungkook glanced at him, catching a gleam of something on his face. But his voice was so neutral, he seemed to be just making small talk.

Jungkook began rubbing his thumb over his right palm. He was feeling like an alien, living in a bubble where he'd heard nothing about Australia before. His friends only talked about money and booze. It was Jungkook's first time hearing about the possibilities this country offered.

Maybe he could try it out in case Busan didn't work out.

"I'm already in my second year of college." Namjoon bobbed his head from side to side, slouching a little to avoid the direct sunlight that had crept closer to his chair. "Couldn't leave now without feeling bad about it."

Sejin snorted out a laugh. "Yeah, you finish school and then we can talk."

"You should help me out with my dad. So he doesn't have a stroke when I tell him I want to travel the world."

"Baby steps, kid. It's still summer. Enjoy that first."

"It's almost fall, and my second semester has already started. Summer's over." Namjoon's tone held a slight whine, but he kept a straight face, his voice turning smaller. "Remember, I have to get back."

Sejin nodded, swallowing his food after a hearty sip of his tea. He made a sound with his lips before speaking. "The renovations are almost done. I was checking some things earlier, and with the help of the construction company next week, it'll be done soon. I wanted to ask you to buy some stuff downtown, but that's it. You can leave whenever you want."

The mess on his clothes now made sense to Jungkook as he scratched gardening off from his imaginary list. Perhaps the unfinished state of some rooms in the house was because of the renovations they were supposedly doing.

"It's not that I want to leave. I have to," Namjoon assured with soft eyes. Sejin wasn't looking at him, but at his chopsticks on the table. He nodded his head slowly this time, then pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

There was something going on that Jungkook hadn't picked up on, and didn't want to, honestly. He had enough with the family drama he was escaping from. He continued eating, and maybe engaging in conversation from time to time, without being too obvious about leaving soon.

"What about you, Jungkook? Where are you going?"

The weight of everyone's eyes was on him. The image of his bruise reflected in the bathroom mirror before taking the shower burrowed itself into his mind. He cringed inwardly, hoping no one pointed out anything about his looks. Sejin had been stealing glimpses at him since he showed up in the kitchen with his glasses on, but hadn't mentioned a thing yet.

Nudging at Jungkook's foot, a leg appeared under the table. Jungkook glanced down and saw some Rolling Stones socks; red lips with a tongue out. He followed the jeans-covered leg and found Taehyung eyeing him over the mug. Somehow, that tiny gesture calmed Jungkook's nerves, even if it was just a coincidence.

"I'm going to my sister's house in Busan."

"You study there?" Sejin asked, looking at Jungkook attentively to not miss anything.

Sucking in a breath, Jungkook shook his head. "No."

The room grew quiet, and when the man's eyebrows furrowed, Jungkook silently cursed at himself. It had been a dry, brief reply, because Jungkook didn't know what else to say. And he didn't want to share his story full of failures with an adult who thought that college was too damn important in life.

Thankfully, Namjoon dived into the conversation before Sejin could ask anything else. "Busan is beautiful. A friend's cousin lives there. Maybe your sister knows him. You could ask her. His name is Lee Jihoon."

Jungkook didn't know why Namjoon was telling him that. Busan was big enough not to know every single person living there. Yongsun probably has never heard of that name. Yet, Sejin seemed to have forgotten Jungkook's reply earlier and the mood around them eased. He found himself smiling.

"I will."

"So, how does Seoul fit here?" Sejin had a curious gleam in his eyes, looking between Namjoon and Hoseok.

Taehyung still had his leg against Jungkook's, radiating heat through his jeans.

"We met once at this thing." Namjoon lifted a shoulder in a slight shrug and ate the last bunch of his veggies. "And Hoseok has been friends with them since they were kids in Gwangju."

"That's nice." Sejin tugged at his glasses again. "Friends from school can become the most important people in your life. They know the real you."

Jungkook begged to differ, but remained quiet. His only friend from school was Wheein, and they were not that close. They shared a few sunrises before school their last year, both getting there before the doors weren't even open, but Jungkook knew it didn't mean they were close friends. They barely reacted to each other's Instagram posts.

Wiping his mouth on a napkin, Namjoon bobbed his head from side to side. "College friends are great too, if not better. The entire experience differs from school. I actually found my people in college."

Jungkook thought about that for a moment. What if by scratching off getting a degree from his list of goals—that was pretty much empty—he might never find his group of friends?

"Sure. You can even find your people at your first job. But there comes a time when you're older where you crave those childhood friends by your side."

Jungkook looked at Taehyung without thinking, finding him drinking from his mug to hide his smile when their eyes met again. A simple brush, too soft to believe it happened, of that Rolling Stone sock against Jungkook's heel sent shivers down his spine. He had to look elsewhere after remembering he just jerked off in the shower to that face.

Perfect.

"I can't argue with you about that. You're the old man here." Namjoon shook his head with a grin that showed both his dimples.

Looking at Sejin, Jungkook waited for a reaction. A bad one. Redness on his cheeks, a frown on his face. But to his surprise, Sejin laughed. There was clearly a clash of generations here, but Sejin seemed to not mind it at all.

"I'm still way younger than your father. But I'm wiser, so listen to me and stop talking."

After twisting his mouth upward, a flash of pain throbbed in Jungkook's left brow. He reached with his fingers to touch the spot but stopped himself midway, wincing before forcing a breath out.

"I would've ordered a big cake if I knew you were all coming," Sejin announced, a small grin playing on his lips. He got up and grabbed some things from the fridge. "Sadly, this guy over here doesn't like cakes." He pointed at Namjoon with his chin while wrapping some ice cubes in a washcloth. He returned to the table and gave it to Jungkook.

Confusion grew in Jungkook's eyes as his pain-stricken face softened. It took him a moment to nod and accept what Sejin was offering him, gently putting it on his brow. The cold pierced his skin, creating a different type of discomfort, but decreasing the soreness at the same time. Thankfully, no one said anything.

"I just prefer eating a big bowl of fruit." Namjoon gestured with both hands as he spoke. Taehyung sat straight as his brows shot up. "That's the only sugar I need."

"I love fruit," Taehyung said, leaving his chopsticks aside. "Mangos are my favorite."

Crinkling his forehead, Jungkook glanced at Taehyung. His eyes peered at him through long lashes before dipping his head to the side. Jungkook felt Taehyung's toes nudging him. What happened to strawberries, he wanted to ask. But didn't.

Sejin's lips buckled under a smile, his glasses reflecting the glow from the sun. "It's not the best time for mangoes, but we have other fruits that you can eat later." He put a hand over his nephew's shoulder and squeezed. "I can continue with the renovation project alone so you can spend time with your friends."

Namjoon's eyes sparkled. "Thanks. We still have many fruits that we could pick up— I mean, if you guys can."

"Best birthday celebration plans," Hoseok said, smiling at his friend with his chin on his palm, elbow resting on the table. He suddenly opened his eyes wide and smiled, almost bouncing in his chair. "What if we go hiking? Jirisan is not far away."

"You know I would never say no to hiking, especially if it's Jirisan." Namjoon brushed his thumb on Hoseok's hand on the table, looking down. "But that would take too long." Hoseok nodded, flinching a little when Namjoon leaned into him and whispered, "We could go after our morning nap tomorrow if you stay."

"Best naps." Hoseok stared at Namjoon with vibrant eyes. It was like they had an inside joke going on between them because Jungkook saw them smirk at the same time.

The air turned weird somehow. With the ice still against his brow, Jungkook averted his eyes to his food after feeling like he was intruding on something. Not long after, he was fighting back a smile as he made eye contact with Taehyung again. Just like he did yesterday, Taehyung wiggled his eyebrows with a smirk. Jungkook ignored how his stomach swooped at how easily Taehyung made him react like this, all relaxed and… giddy in such a short amount of time.

"You guys can leave whenever you want, no pressure." Namjoon finished his plate and drank some tea as he glanced at Jungkook.

"No way. I didn't spend your day with you last year. We have to sing you happy birthday this time. Then, they can leave." Sejin pushed his glasses up and put a hand over his mug. "We have to get some candles and make a bowl of fruit to replace the cake."

"You didn't buy me candles?"

Sejin sniffed out a laugh, circling the mug with a finger. Jungkook saw how pink the object was, reminding him of his sister. "Given that you don't like cakes, I guessed candles were also out of the picture. But now with your friends here, we should work something out."

Namjoon's voice circled the room as they discussed a way to go downtown and buy everything they needed. But Jungkook stopped paying attention, eyes stuck on Sejin's mug after reading what it said in big white letters: 'it's a girl!'

A light kick on his shin caught Jungkook's gaze. Taehyung raised his eyebrows and tipped his head. Jungkook looked at the mug again, then back at Taehyung, who followed the movement with his eyes.

Sejin must have noticed something because the man looked at the cup, raised it with his hand at chest level, and said with dim eyes, "My lucky mug."

Hoseok talked after swallowing his last bite of food. "Any interesting story behind it? I used to have a lucky mug too that my mom gave me. It was bright red with tiny ladybugs. I took it with me when I moved to Seoul, but then my roommate broke it the first week." He shrugged.

Namjoon cleared his throat, and Jungkook noticed his expression. He knew what it meant. His father used to show it unintentionally whenever someone would ask about his wife.

Jungkook closed his eyes, guilt twisting his heart. It was clearly a subject Jungkook hadn't meant to bring up.

"Not a story for a birthday party," Sejin said, voice even and controlled, as he put the mug back on the table and nodded. Namjoon gently touched his shoulder.

The Universe appeared to be on Jungkook's side today, because in the next second, his phone buzzed in his pocket. Even if his father was calling, it was the perfect excuse to avoid this conversation and leave the table with no comment.

Sitting straight, Jungkook pulled back his legs under his chair and ended any physical contact with Taehyung. When he took out his phone, he saw it was his sister calling.

"Excuse me. I have to take this." Jungkook's chair slightly scraped the floor when he got up. He almost dropped the washcloth to the floor before putting it on the table and bowing his head. Under everyone's gaze, he walked out of the kitchen.


"What happened?" Yongsun's voice was calm, yet Jungkook could feel the exasperation behind her words.

As soon as he stepped out into the front yard, Jungkook answered the call. The sun turned everything it could reach into golden, including some white flowers from a tree Jungkook spotted. It was tall and strong, and the flowers were pretty. Jungkook walked straight to them.

"I had to leave," he replied, breathing in and out the chilly morning air as he rubbed his chest with a finger. Having to explain his actions was the worst part of doing something. He just wanted to avoid it. But her sister deserved an explanation, so he gave her one. "We were fighting and things got out of hand. I'm on my way to your place now, where I'll need to stay for a few weeks."

"Out of hands? I don't understand. Wait— for a few weeks. Does that mean you have a plan?"

"I have an idea," he said, walking to the grass. It felt coarse under his feet, reminding Jungkook he was only wearing socks.

"You need to have a job. Most importantly, money."

"It will only be for some time. I have it all under control." Because he had to. He had to make things right and win this. There was no turning back.

"You know you're more than welcome here. I've told you many times before. But it's not how you think it is. It's difficult, and you're just a kid."

"That's bullshit and you know it. You were eighteen when you left. And look at you now, you're doing good."

"Because it took me time, Jungkook. Effort and time, and support."

"I have you," he said, hating how desperate he sounded. "I'll be okay."

"I just… I don't get why now."

"He didn't tell you everything, then."

Jungkook was sure Yongsun only got half of the story from their dad.

"He said you took the Hyundai with you. He's worried. And stealing is not okay, especially from family. What were you thinking?"

A snort left Jungkook's mouth as he looked straight up into the sun and closed his eyes.

"The car's okay, by the way. And stop treating me like a kid. I'm twenty, for fuck's sake."

"Jungkook—"

"He hit me," Jungkook nagged, cold and flat. There was a thick silence coming from the other line that seemed to last a whole minute.

"What?"

Jungkook got closer to the tree he spotted and touched one of its white flowers with his sun-baked fingers. "So he forgot to tell you that part."

"I didn't know," Yongsun whispered, softening her tone. "There is no excuse, but—" The brief seconds of pause made Jungkook realize how bad his sister was also at these things. "What were you fighting about?"

Jungkook groaned, feeling the way it ripped at his throat. "The thing we grew up learning not to mention."

Yongsun's breathing could still be heard over the phone, but she remained quiet. Jungkook kept brushing his fingers on the flower in front of him, which made him have a sense of reality. A brief, intense connection to life. It grounded him. In that moment, his existence felt real. Big and heavy.

Yongsun breathed out. "I'm not trying to defend him. But I know how most of the time stuff can get too much and make us do things we don't want to do. He's human, and he's growing old. He's felt lost as much as you and I have."

"I don't care. You don't hit your kids."

"I know. I really know," Yongsun said in a rush. "He shouldn't have touched you. But I also know how badly mom's topic has affected him. It's a sensitive one for all of us, I know that. But we should also try to understand that he was her husband—"

"What does that even mean?" Jungkook cut in.

"He was there with her every minute when he wasn't working. He had to be there through the bad times while we were playing outside with our friends, or focusing on our homework." Yongsun cleared her throat as Jungkook remembered all the times his sister helped him with school stuff because their mother couldn't. "And he'd to be there for us, too. Don't you remember?"

"How could I not?" Jungkook lied, vaguely confused, vaguely pissed at his sister. Because it was true, there were things he couldn't locate in his brain. Things that felt foreign, things he couldn't understand; memories that he wasn't sure if they were real or a fabrication of his resentment. He realized, after hearing his own voice, how quick he was trying to turn the conversation around just to stop feeling in the wrong here. "I don't know why you're saying this. You used to hate him."

"Used to," she echoed, sounding tired. "I'm your older sister. I know things you don't. But Jungkook, we were young. No one actually knows how it is until you grow up and see things differently."

"When will that happen to me? Am I gonna wait forever?" Jungkook's breathing faltered and felt embarrassed after hearing a muffled sound leaving his mouth. He had to force himself to relax the grip on his phone when he noticed a slight pain in his fingers.

"Okay, listen. Get here and we'll talk. There's a lot to cover."

"It seems you've forgotten things since you left." Jungkook glanced down at the grass, shifting his feet after feeling them tingle. It really needed some cutting. "Because I have so many memories of dad taking us away from mom when we were little. Why would you want your kids to be away from their mother? Was it jealousy?" He frowned. "And then he stopped talking about her. He got a girlfriend, he got a new son. He somehow forgot."

"No one's forgotten about her."

"He didn't want to remember her. He got rid of all her pictures as soon as she was gone. Then he went and put pics of his new son where hers were hanging before."

Yongsun groaned, high-pitched. Jungkook could imagine her shutting her eyes and clenching his hands like she always did when she was younger. "You have to let go of the pictures."

"How? I don't remember her face! I bet he doesn't either."

"We remember in different ways. We cope differently."

"His way of coping is fucked up, then!"

"Don't yell at me," she said, sounding hurt.

Jungkook dug his teeth into his lower lip and felt the pain from the cut that he'd gotten last night surging through him.

Yongsun scoffed. "What about your way of coping? I was there all the times you rubbed mom's topic on dad's face. The way you treated him, how you always blamed him."

Jungkook's breath got caught up in his throat at his sister's words. "You blamed him too!" he said, feeling heat going to his face, noticing he had cut the flower he'd been touching from the tree. He hated to do that. Flowers shouldn't be cut, just like kids shouldn't be taken away from their mothers. "Are you seriously defending him?"

"No, I'm not." Yongsun huffed out a breath. "I'll never defend him for touching you. You didn't deserve that."

"But you sound like you're on his side."

"I'm not on anyone's side this time. I'm tired." She sounded tired, and Jungkook felt bad for putting pressure on her by telling her he would be in Busan soon with such short notice.

"I was gonna tell you what happened yesterday, but it happened too fast. And I don't have any other place to go." Jungkook's voice was low, head hanging a little. He looked at his hand where he held the flower and closed his fingers around it.

"You have a place here that you can stay for a while. It's just— We really need to talk."

Jungkook nodded, swallowing down the lump in his throat, even though his sister couldn't see him. "I'll be there soon."

"There's a visitor parking spot you can use. Call me when you get here."

"I will." Jungkook covered his face with his arm, yielding his skin to the sun. "See you soon."

He hung up as the white flower fell to his feet. Even wrinkled, it looked pretty against the green of the grass.

He let out a breath, thinking of all the times he'd shared conversations like this with his sister. There weren't many. But he remembered them by how much energy he always seemed to lose. How drained he always ended up feeling.

The words 'for a while' echoed in his brain as he walked back to the house, feeling hopeless at the idea of him having to find somewhere else to live.

Because he knew his sister was his best shot at staying away from Gwangju, but he somehow wished he had another way out.