Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from the Inuyasha universe, but I sure do love playing with them. The rest is mine.


Chapter 2

He had run deep into the forest, trying to put distance between himself and his son and...his new mother. Kagome would be good for him - better than he could ever be. He didn't know how to care for him the way she did, and he knew...he knew that she would take care of him.

It was in her nature.

Kagome had always been a kind woman and he had always liked her, ever since he had first come by the village. She had a good heart, and she was always a calming presence. She was a good listener, too. There was just something about her that made people open up to her...maybe it was the warmth in her eyes?

Inuyasha leaned his back against the cave wall, closing his eyes as images of his son plagued his mind. He was doing the right thing. He had yelled at him. Kikyo never would have let her temper get the best of her, and she would have stopped him before it got to that point.

He just couldn't take it anymore! He didn't know what he was doing! He was going to ruin that boy...he just knew it.

This was the right thing to do.

But…

If leaving was the right thing to do, why was his demon screaming at him to turn his ass back around and take care of his child? Why wouldn't it shut up and let him do what was best?

Because...this...this was what was best, right?

He stood a better chance with Kagome than he did with him.

But...why...why couldn't he have both?

Why couldn't he have both Kagome and him? At least for the next year?

Maybe...maybe he wasn't good at this now, but...Kagome was so kind…

Maybe she would teach him to be better.

Yeah, right...teach him?

Him?

He hardly knew how to hold her child, and he was a good three moons older than his.

"Oh, Kikyo…I'm such a failure," his bemoaned, rubbing his eyes as they began to prickle with tears.

Kikyo...what would she think of this? What would she say if she knew he was abandoning their son? They had wanted a family so badly - they had tried for years, and now that his son was here, he was going to run away from him? She would be sickened at his choice.

She would tell him that this wasn't a decision that the man she had married would make, and in this moment, she would be right. Had he really changed that much since that fucking night?

He wished he could gut those bandits all over again. He had never taken pleasure in killing before, but their murder...their murder, he had.

Maybe he had changed that much. Kikyo would be so ashamed of him, but...he could find a way back to who he had been, couldn't he? He could still redeem himself and be a man she was proud of. He had only been gone for a few hours now, and he could still go back. Kagome probably wouldn't even question it. That's just who she was.

His demon urged him to go back. It whispered encouragement in his ears as his thoughts continued down that path. He didn't have to decide right this second. He had already been gone this long, and he could use some firewood if he was going to stay in his old cave for the night.

Maybe he should cut some down. See how he felt after that.

Yeah.

That felt wise.


"Inuyasha," Kagome warmly greeted when she opened the door. "Thank you for bringing the firewood tonight."

Inuyasha nodded his head as she stepped aside, welcoming him into her home.

"I left your dinner on the table," she gestured as he put the wood down and Kenji began to fuss for her. "I'm coming, sweetheart," she soothed, picking him up and freeing her breast. She sighed in relief when he latched onto her, and she swayed as he fed before glancing back over to Inuyasha. He had been gone for quite some time - much longer than he needed to be to bring home some firewood. She couldn't blame him, though.

She struggled with being a parent as well, and when she had returned with Kenji earlier, she could tell that he was at his wits' end. He needed a moment alone to sort himself out. Every new parent did.

"Thank you, Kagome. For watching over my son earlier," Inuyasha whispered, and she turned to give him a warm, understanding smile.

"Of course, Inuyasha."

"The stew is good," he awkwardly complimented, unable to look at her for some reason, and she kneeled down at the table across from him. He shifted his gaze further away from her, and she pursed her lips together before her shoulders slumped and she sighed.

She wasn't going to ask him about it. He'd had a long day - when he wasn't home with her and helping with the children, he was helping the villagers in need rebuild their homes...and if he wasn't doing that, he was off hunting to provide for her and their children.

Kenji pulled away from her and she closed her yukata, bringing him and a cloth on the table over her shoulder as she patted his back.

"You're so good at that," Inuyasha whispered, his ears drooped and his gaze on Kenji's back.

"I'm not nearly as good as you think," she smiled wanly. "There are days when I want to scream and rip my hair out and I feel so helpless," she confessed, and she saw his eyes widen at her words. "I remember this one day," she mused. "Kenji was no older than your son, and I couldn't get him to stop crying. I just...gave up. I placed him on the futon and went outside for a good fifteen minutes and sobbed. Eri saw me," she recalled, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Eri was perhaps her closest friend in the village and a mother as well.

She told Inuyasha how her friend had swept her into her arms and comforted her before showing her a new way of soothing Kenji. It was the same technique she had shown Inuyasha a few hours before.

"Sometimes...babies just...cry. They are new to our world, and they don't understand why they aren't in that nice, warm place anymore and listening to their mother's heartbeat. They're trying to make sense of what's happened to them."

Inuyasha was silent, his eyes glued on his bowl of stew as she finished her tale.

Kagome reached out to him placing her hand on his, and his eyes flitted up to hers.

"Everyone helps here, Inuyasha, and I'm thankful for it. Without you and the other villagers...I don't know where I would be. I'm thankful to be living here, where everyone lends a hand when and where they can."

She hoped he understood her double meaning. She didn't want to say more and make him uncomfortable.

"Come to bed when you're done? Your son sleeps better when his father is near - even if you don't sleep," she smiled wanly as he opened his mouth to tell her he wasn't tired. It was a line he fed her every night as he sat against the wall by the entrance to her home.

It was true, too.

She had caught Inuyasha napping once or twice, when he was so overcome with exhaustion that his body simply gave in. It was in those moments that his son truly settled for a good, solid rest. Inuyasha closed his mouth again and nodded, saying nothing more.

Kagome pulled back the covers of her futon and nestled herself inside, pulling Kenji close as she waited for Inuyasha to join them. She didn't have to wait long.

"Should I...do you…"

Kagome looked up at him but said nothing as she waited for him to speak his mind.

"I'll sleep over the sheets," he seemed to decide, and she nodded her acknowledgement.

"If you would like, Hojo's sleep yukatas are still in that chest over there," she pointed towards the wall, and she watched him clench and unclench his fists. "But you don't need to sleep in it if you're uncomfortable—"

"—No. I...thank you. I should...change, if...if you don't mind me borrowing it..."

"It's yours to borrow."

She snuggled into her son as he changed somewhere above her head, the rustling of fabric filling her hut. When he was done, he climbed onto Hojo's old spot and turned onto his side to face them, resting his head on his arm. She absently noticed that the fabric looked a bit too tight on him and the front didn't quite close right, but what really captured her attention wasn't the yukata...it was his eyes. They were glued to his sleeping son's form as the boy instinctively reached an arm towards him. She watched Inuyasha tenderly run his fingers through the small boy's hair.

They were silent for a long time, the darkness covering them like a thick blanket.

"I almost didn't come back."

Kagome's breath caught in her throat but she remained quiet, silently urging him to continue.

"Earlier today...I couldn't do it. I'm not a good father. I'm not what he needs. I-I don't know how to do this without Kikyo. I can't be a father on my own. I don't know how to do any of this...I thought, if I left him now, with you, he'd have a better chance at growing up right. But...then I thought, 'What would Kikyo think of me? How disappointed would she be in me?' and I knew deep down that it was wrong, but...it felt like the right thing to do…"

He fell silent then, and Kagome reached out to him and took his hand in hers.

"You aren't alone, Inuyasha. You never will be. Never again."


Kagome handed Inuyasha a soft cloth as she applied a bit of soap to her own damp one before gently rubbing it across Kenji's skin.

"I know, we don't like bath time," she cooed as her son made a face, "but we can't stay stinky, can we?"

"They coulda gone another day - I woulda been fine still," Inuyasha teased, beginning to wash his own son. He was two and a half moons old now, her own son nearly six. It had been a moon since that fateful night when Inuyasha had almost left, and she had felt herself finally relax. He wasn't going anywhere. Not now. She believed that now. She had been a bit more nervous the first time he walked out the door after his confession, but...she knew in the pit of her stomach that he would be back.

He had just...had a moment of frustration and weakness. All parents did.

He loved his boy too much to truly go, and he wouldn't shame Kikyo's memory. As he had said - what would she think of him if he did?

Inuyasha had come a long way since last month, closely watching her with Kenji and mirroring all of her techniques. The night of the new moon, however...that had been a hard night for everyone. Inuyasha had been antsy all day - quick to annoy and particularly stubborn. He hardly left the hut or his son's side all day, and she found herself perplexed by his behavior until he finally confessed what would happen in a few hours' time...and what he suspected would happen to his son.

He had been right.

His son had struggled with his human transformation. Inuyasha hadn't known how to help him, and for once, she hadn't known what to do either. He wailed all through the night, leaving everyone irritable the next day. She hoped that next month would be better, but she was pleasantly surprised by Inuyasha's ability to remain calm. Perhaps it was because his human side had taken over for the night, or perhaps it was because he was determined to sit through this with his boy this time.

Regardless, she had been impressed.

"Your nose might have been able to, but mine couldn't," she teased back, watching Inuyasha tenderly run his cloth over his son's skin as he supported his neck, just as she had taught him.

He chuckled, shifting his eyes to hers. "I think I still have the more sensitive nose, Onna."

"I still think mine is better when it comes to personal hygiene, Aibō," she shot back, her lips quirking up into a smirk as her eyebrow rose.

Inuyasha's fingers dipped into the water and flicked it up at her in response, and she squealed as it landed on her cheeks and in her hair.

"Inuyasha!"

"What?" he replied innocently, doing it again. She squealed as it landed on her and glared back at him. "Something wrong?"

She flicked water back at him and he turned his head to the side, trying to bring up the hand not supporting his son to protect his face. It didn't work well.

"Oi!"

"Something the matter, Inuyasha?"

He glared at her before an evil, mischievous smirk spread across his face and he flicked more water at her - the war truly beginning as they soaked one another and her hut filled with their squeals. She only stopped when Kenji gurgled out a laugh in the small tub.

His first laugh.

"Oh! Inuyasha," she breathed, her heart filled with so much joy it felt like it was going to explode. He placed a hand on her back between her shoulder blades, and she glanced up at him.

His eyes were warm, as if he understood the importance of this moment for her...and she shot him an appreciative, grateful smile that she didn't have to share it alone.


"What about Taro?"

"First son? A little on the nose," Kagome replied, scrunching hers. Kenji was tucked into her side as they laid on her futon. Soft firelight warmed the walls of her small hut, and she gazed over at Inuyasha as he laid on his back beside her, his son sleeping on his chest. She watched his little fist latch onto the yukata Inuyasha wore, the fabric bunching as he clung to his father.

He was four moons old now. It was time he had a name.

"Better than Shuzo," he teased.

"Third son? Yes, it is...what about Ryuu?"

"He's inu, not dragon," Inuyasha snorted, and Kagome couldn't help but giggle.

"He is," she agreed. "Minoru?"

"Minoru…" he pondered, the name rolling around in his head before he dismissed it. "Daisuke?"

"Daisuke…" she whispered, and Inuyasha's son began to stir as he woke up for his nightly snack. "It's not bad," she decided, taking his son from him as she opened her yukata. Inuyasha shifted his gaze up to the ceiling, and she sighed in relief as the babe latched onto her and suckled at her breast.

"So...maybe Daisuke, then."

"Maybe," she agreed. "Basho?"

Only the sounds of his son's feeding filled the room as he pondered it.

"I think we can do better."

"We?"

She knew that she wasn't the boy's mother, but this...she almost felt like it, at times. She shared her bed with him and his father, helped care for him, let him suckle from her breast...she needed to find a way to create a mental barrier. Inuyasha would leave one day, and he would take his son with him...no matter how much she was becoming attached to him.

The son.

Not...not Inuyasha.

They had been with her for three moons now, and it was...nice. She wasn't lonely in the nights anymore. She didn't feel the pressure of being a single parent anymore. It was nice. All of this...it was nice.

"You and me," he replied, furrowing his brow. "You must be exhausted - why don't you get some sleep while you can? I can take care of the boys when they wake up."

"Unless you can feed them, you can't do much," she replied wryly.

"I could try," he shrugged. "Just open up my yukata and see if they take to what I've got."

She laughed at that, her head rolling back as the sound filled the room.

"Shhh…" Inuyasha scolded, "You'll wake up Kenji!"

"Well, then you can just try feeding him," she grinned, and she watched his shoulders lightly shake as a chuckle bubbled past his lips.

"I don't think I could do as good a job as you. You're an amazing mother, Kagome," he whispered sweetly. "Kenji is a lucky boy."

"You're a good father too, you know," she replied, and he closed his eyes, inhaling deeply, but he didn't respond. "You do, don't you?"

Inuyasha remained silent for a long time, and she began to get the feeling that he didn't believe it. When his son finished, he sat up and took the boy from her, placing the cloth they kept by the bed over his shoulder as he began to pat his son's back. Just how Kagome taught him.

"I didn't know my father," he confessed, and Kagome found herself straining to hear him. His words were so quiet...but she knew what he had said. She couldn't have mistaken that. "He passed when I was an infant. Struck down by some great foe, my mother always said. I always wondered what he was like...and she said that he was tall and handsome and strong - one of the best warriors in the land. He was so excited for me to be born, and when I was...she said he almost never put me down. He knew what to name me the second he saw me.

He wasn't weak, like me. Or scared. But...how can I be a good father when I didn't even know who mine was? How…" Inuyasha closed his eyes, laying back down with his son on his chest. "How can I ever hope to be a good father when I don't even know what that looks like?"

Kagome reached out and cupped his face, making him look at her.

"You can be a good father even if you never knew yours, Inuyasha. Everything you're doing...you're doing it out of love. Everyone makes mistakes. No one is perfect, but the place your actions are coming from, and the love I feel from you for him...that's what makes you a good father."

He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply as her words swirled around in his head. He was quiet for so long that she found her eyes finally drooping as the fire began to die, and she could feel sleep's fingertips beckoning her forward toward a peaceful slumber.

"Why did you pick Kenji?" Inuyasha asked, his voice breaking through her foggy mind. "You made fun of Taro, but Kenji? He's not a second son...is he?"

"It was Hojo's father's name. We had briefly discussed it before he died. If it was a boy, he wanted to name him Kenji...so I did to honor his father, and his father's father."

"That's nice," he breathed, and she made a small sound of agreement. "Kikyo's father's name was Akio. Maybe...maybe that. So he always has a piece of his mother with him?"

"I think that's a lovely idea and a wonderful name, Inuyasha."

"Akio, then."


A/N: THANKS FOR THE AMAZING RESPONSE TO THIS FIC! You're all AWESOME! Next update should be 9/23, but if you want it sooner, check out my tumblr page for more info! Thanks as always to Saucy for the edits. YOU ALL ROCK!

Until next time!

-LL