Sylvie stirs awake in the void. At first, she's not sure what woke her but then she hears tiny whimpers coming from her left. She opens her eyes in the direction of the sound and finds Loki on the other side of the fire, tossing and turning. She's about to get up and wake him when movement from her right catches her attention. Mobius is awake and quickly making his way over to Loki. It's not far, they're sleeping side by side, only a few meters apart.
She could reveal herself to be awake but instead, she just watches; she's intrigued by these two and their dynamic. Mobius bends down to sit next to Loki who's on his back, his chest rising and falling rapidly; even from this distance, she can tell he's covered in a thin layer of sweat. She is close enough to catch a few words escaping his trembling lips; mostly it's a mix of 'no', 'stop,' and 'Thanos' – she is not sure what that last word means but it can't be anything pleasant.
She hears Mobius shush him gently without waking him up and then he does something strange; he places a hand on Loki's chest… just letting the weight of it rest there. What's even stranger is that it appears to work. Loki settles down almost immediately and his breathing returns to a normal deep rate.
"That's it." Mobius whispers. "You're safe. I'm here." It's a very tender moment and Sylvie decides she's no longer comfortable lurking, so she sits up. Mobius is startled by this and makes a move to remove his hand as if he's been caught doing something wrong but she's quick to stop him.
"Don't." She whispers. "It seems to help him."
"It does." Mobius confirms. "He suffers from terrible night terrors but a steady weight on his chest is apparently comforting to him in sleep."
"Where did you learn to do that?" She asks, curious.
"I used to watch Thor do it when they lived together on the timeline." Mobius explains. "Loki has struggled with this his whole life, but that brother of yours quickly figured out that a gentle pressure right above his heart would calm him down."
"I see." Sylvie says. "That does sound like something Thor would do, he was always very… tactile… from what I recall of him."
The sleeping demi-God suddenly moves to turn on his side. Mobius holds his breath, as Loki, still very much asleep places his head on the other man's thigh, curling into him in a way he would definitely never do awake. In fact, she is pretty sure Loki would be terribly embarrassed to know about this. Judging from Mobius' reaction though, this is something that must have happened before as he doesn't seem the least bit surprised by it… nor uncomfortable with it. In fact, the grey-haired man seems almost… content. Interesting.
"Mmm… Mobius." Loki mumbles before going quiet again, and Sylvie can't help but notice how Mobius' eyes turn soft with affection. The hand that was on Loki's chest has found its way into his hair now, and the older man is running his fingers through the dark locks very softly. This is more than just a friendly gesture of comfort; Mobius is looking at Loki like he's something precious and touching him as if he's caressing a lover. These two are definitely more than just buddies, but it's unclear to her whether or not Loki is aware of this yet.
"Does he know?" She asks.
"I don't know if he's put two and two together." The ex-agent says. "When they let him out of his cell at the TVA, they placed him in my quarters, and I quickly noticed his sleep problems… eventually, I went into his room at night and started doing this, and well… it helped… but I never told him about it." Mobius admits. "He must have noticed that he's no longer waking up screaming though. Whether he's figured out the reason is anyone's guess."
"That's not what I meant." Sylvie says. "Does he know… about your feelings for him?"
"I…um… " Mobius has that "deer caught in headlights" expression going on. "I… don't…"
"Don't even try to deny it." Sylvie rolls her eyes. "I am not stupid, Mobius."
"Sylvie… " Mobius sighs in resignation. "Please… don't tell him… I don't want to ruin our friendship… he doesn't feel the same way."
"I wouldn't be so sure of that." She says. "He cried when you got pruned."
"He… he did?" Mobius stammers, taken aback by this information.
"Yes, he was beyond crushed when he thought he'd lost you."
"That's… confusing… he's never given me any indication that he cared that much."
"Hasn't he though?" She asks but Mobius just looks bewildered by her comment. "Hmm. I guess when you're basically twins and know how to read him, it's obvious." She looks pointedly at a very cuddly Loki in his lap.
"He is only being like this right now because he's unconscious." Mobius says. "If he were to wake up, I am sure he would bite my head off and run screaming in the other direction."
"Oh, without a doubt." Sylvie agrees. "He would be mortified." Mobius' face falls. "But not because of you." She is quick to reassure. "Loki's are just terrible when it comes to vulnerability, and we don't really know how to handle affection either; neither giving it nor receiving it."
"You can say that again."
"It's a character flaw, I know." Sylvie says. "But trust me on this, Mobius. He cares for you a whole lot. I noticed your bond right away… as a fellow Loki, it literally screams at me."
"It does?"
"Yes. I too felt drawn to you right away. Just like he did. Although… not in the same way that I suspect he does. But there's definitely something about you." She admits. "We feel… I guess the best word would be… safe… around you. This right here is proof of that… " She gestures to Mobius and Loki's current position. "…That his subconscious is clinging to you like that. Even in sleep, I am sure he can sense you there and because he feels safe with you and trusts you to protect him… he hasn't woken up… even when the smallest sound would usually be enough to wake any Loki variant. We're light sleepers with trust issues so this is very unusual."
"Wow. That's flattering."
"It really is. We don't let our guard down around just anyone… and definitely not to this extent." Sylvie says. "The fact that he is as comfortable around you as he obviously is… that is the highest compliment."
"So… what do I do?" Mobius asks. "I don't want to scare him away."
"Just keep doing what you're doing. You seem to be a natural with him." She states. "Don't force anything, let it happen organically or he will panic and shut you down. I'm sure that in time… he will come to you when he's ready."
"Okay… I can do that." A snore escapes from Loki and Mobius smiles down at him fondly.
"Good." She says. "Just remember… you might have to be patient. He is damaged goods like the rest of us."
"I will. He's worth it. Thanks, Sylvie." Mobius says gratefully. "You're a great sister to him."
"I just want him to be happy… and you as well." She shrugs. "But you're welcome."
They sit together in silence for a while. Mobius, still as a statue, not wanting to wake Loki up and Sylvie just looking at them. Something is on her mind but she's not sure that she should ask; doesn't know if she's ready for the answer. In the end, though, she figures that if there's even the smallest chance that she'll be able to find out the truth, she must take it.
"Mobius, can I ask you something?" She says, suddenly shy.
"Sure, Sylvie. Anything." Mobius looks up at her with a sweet smile that puts her completely at ease.
"Do you know what my Nexus event was?" She finally dares ask. "When I talked to Renslayer, she said she didn't remember but I know she was lying."
"Oh, Sylvie. I'm sorry." Mobius says. "I don't. You were taken back before Ravonna was even a judge. It was before our time together and she never talked about it. Frankly, I think she was embarrassed that a child managed to outsmart her."
"But… you must have some idea." Sylvie states. "A theory, at least. You're the expert in Loki's."
"I am… and I do." Mobius admits.
"So… what was it? Was it because I was born a girl?"
"No… it wasn't because of your gender." He says. "Or we… they would have taken you at birth."
"Then what?" Sylvie asks. "What did I do that was so bad that they felt the need to kidnap a little girl?"
"I don't know for sure; I didn't have much to go on from watching your reel, you were taken so young that there wasn't a lot of evidence to study." He explains. "But I did notice that you were different in a few significant ways."
"How?" Sylvie asks, eager to hear more.
"Well… all of the Asgardian Loki's have a certain disposition; even as young children they're… jealous with a major inferiority complex." Mobius states. "It always starts with Thor… the way Odin obviously favors him. Kids pick up on that very quickly, you know… especially someone as intelligent as a Loki… and it only grows from there into full-on resentment towards their brother. Odin's toxic parenting style fosters this twisted love/hate relationship that every Loki grows up to have with their Thor. That shows itself in Loki acting out; pulling cruel pranks just to humiliate his brother, trying to get Thor into trouble in every way he can, and sometimes, even violent outbursts. Our Loki actually stabbed Thor when they were just eight years old… then tried to kill him multiple times as an adult… and another kid Loki even managed to kill kid Thor."
"What?!" Sylvie gasps. "I would never have done that, I adored Thor. I don't remember much but I do remember that."
"No, you wouldn't… and that's just it." Mobius states. "You weren't like that. You were a little mischievous, sure… but in a completely innocent way; there wasn't the same malice behind your pranks as it was the case with your other variants. Mentally, you were the most stable I have ever experienced a Loki to be. You were so comfortable in your own skin in a way that is very unusual for one of your kind. No signs of malevolence."
"But why was I so different?" Sylvie asks.
"I think it was a mix of two things; first off… your parents told you from the start that you were adopted; letting you be who you really were… shifting into Jotunn form whenever you wanted. You were so loved and accepted, Sylvie. By everyone. And so in touch with your authentic self; your Frost Giant side… in a way that our Loki and none of the other Loki's were ever allowed to be."
"I can't imagine it being any other way." She breathes out, not knowing what else to say and feeling grateful for her childhood. She obviously had it better than Loki, even if it was only for a short time.
"You're very lucky that you can't." Mobius tells her. "I think… on a subconscious level… all of the Asgardian Loki variants must sense that there's something off about them. I've seen our Loki on the timeline… stare at himself intensely, as if he's trying to see underneath his own skin. When they look in the mirror, they see an Asgardian, but some instinct deep down is telling them that it's wrong, that they're wrong. They grow up with a sense of wrongness… that they can't put their finger on… and along with Odin's treatment and favoritism of Thor… it turns that confusion into a strong feeling of self-loathing." He explains.
"That is so sad." She says. "And all of them turned out like this? None of them were able to overcome it?"
"No. But it's not that they have weak minds, it's that their self-esteem issues damage their psyches; it twists their thoughts into something dark, and then, eventually… because they're desperate to feel superior in any way… they develop a shield of narcissism… casting themselves as the villain of their own story… and lash out at everyone else... because putting other's down is the only way they can elevate themselves to a level where they feel like they matter. Then, once their true origin is revealed, it only magnifies their feelings of inadequacy… making them go to extremes in order to prove themselves as true Asgardians… in often brutal ways because they don't know how else to achieve that. It's a desperate play for control and an attempt to make up for that inner feeling of worthlessness. But really… when it comes down to it…they're not truly evil… even if they do evil things... it's all surface, an act. To protect themselves. They try so hard to not allow other people close enough to see how flawed they perceive themselves to be… and it's ironic that they keep everyone at a distance when they are actually terrified of being alone."
"Wow, you really are the Loki expert." Sylvie says, impressed. "What you said explains a lot about him." Sylvie looks at Loki's sleeping form again, feeling a new level of sympathy for her twin. "What was the second thing?"
"Your father." Mobius states. "And the way Odin treated you differently because you were a girl. By the time you came along, he'd lost his first daughter and therefore he considered you a precious gift, a second chance to get it right. He was so determined to not make the same mistakes with you as he did with Hela. Usually, Frigga is the most present parent of the two… but Odin really made an effort to be involved in your life specifically, to become the best father he could be for you. As a result, you became the center of his world too. You were his little Princess; you could wrap him around your little finger in a way Thor never managed, and our Loki never had a chance in hell at pulling off. In your timeline, you were Odin's favorite."
"Really? I was?" Sylvie smiles.
"Oh yeah, you were definitely a Daddy's Girl." Mobius smiles back. "And because of this… as well as your honest upbringing, you never developed any of the emotional issues or feelings of unworthiness that the other Loki's did."
"So… my Nexus event was caused by…?"
"Kindness, Sylvie." Mobius says. "You were good. Pure of heart… and since all Loki's were created to cause pain and suffering…"
"They took me… and replaced me with a Loki variant that would play the part." Sylvie finishes his sentence.
"Exactly." Mobius confirms. "I think when you pretended to be a Valkyrie while playing; one of the most honorable and respected fighters of Asgard… the universe realized that you would never conform to the role the Time-Keepers had decided for you, and this was the final straw that created the branch that made them collect you. That is my theory anyway."
"I can't believe it." Sylvie says. "I went through all of those years of hell… just because I was a good person… I never actually did anything wrong." She breathes in relief.
"Of course, you didn't." Mobius says. "You were just a little girl… you could never be to blame." He suddenly feels ashamed. "It all seems so obvious now… how wrong the TVA was… why couldn't I see it back then? They kidnapped a child for God's sake… and would probably have pruned you too."
"It wasn't your fault, Mobius." Sylvie says, watching as the fire creates shadows on his face, he seems so tired. "You were kidnapped too, had your memories erased, and was then indoctrinated into their cult. They even changed your name, destroyed every sense of self you had as an individual… your mind was never your own after that… so what chance did you really have when it came to fighting their mind-control?"
"Well… when you put it like that… I don't know." He sighs. "But I still feel guilty."
"I know you do... and that sweet soul of yours is exactly why we Loki's gravitate towards you." She smiles at him when he lets out a yawn. "Anyway… we better get some sleep. He's already a handful to deal with when you're rested, let alone sleep-deprived." She gestures to Loki.
"Haha, yeah." Mobius chuckles softly and the edge of his voice is so very fond. "I think he is okay for now."
Sylvie nods, laying back down, and watches as Mobius gently lifts Loki's head from his thigh and back down on the jacket on the ground before retreating to his own spot and promptly falling back asleep. She closes her eyes and lets the darkness claim her... but is woken up again a short time later.
This time Mobius is the one in distress, curling in on himself, teeth chattering. It's very cold in the void and if she and Loki were freezing as Frost Giants, she can't imagine how chilly it must feel for a human. Again, she finds herself too slow to respond as Loki, now awake, slides over to Mobius' side before she can even think about reacting. Her brother quickly conjures a blanket that he places over the other man; not the "tablecloth" she got stuck with either, but a thick fluffy kind that is sure to keep Mobius toasty warm.
She then watches in amazement as Loki bends down to place a tender kiss on the older man's forehead. She didn't expect that. Maybe he is perfectly aware of what is going on between them after all. Before Loki can move away, Mobius suddenly rolls his whole body on top of him and throws an arm around his waist, effectively pinning her brother to the ground. She sees panic in Loki's eyes for a split second, before they morph into something soft. He looks up, catching her eye and a silent conversation takes place between them.
You love him.
I do.
He loves you too.
I know.
It's okay to love him.
Is it?
Loki looks down at Mobius, still conflicted. It's clear to her that he's at a crossroads. Her brother can either come to terms with his feelings and finally let this happen or he can pull away like he's always done before. In the end, Loki seems to give in to his desire. He settles down and lets Mobius wrap himself around him like a koala, pulling the blanket over them both before going back to sleep.
When they wake up the next morning still tangled together, nobody mentions it… but it's clear something has shifted irrevocably between them and she is not at all surprised when she catches them kissing quite passionately behind the wreckage of the house later that same day.
Making sure not to interrupt them, she slinks away, a satisfied smile playing on her lips.
Finally, she thinks. About damn time.
