Rukia was beautiful.

Of this fact, Ichigo was well aware.

The list of reasons why Ichigo Kurosaki loved Rukia Kuchiki was an extensive one. Long enough that, were he to list everything on paper, it threatened the rainforests and the existence of trees everywhere.

She stood at the top of the stairs, silhouetted by the light that gave her an otherworldly glow. Different from the usual otherworldly glow that came with being a Shinigami, anyway. Her petite frame was hugged by a v-neck lilac gown that draped and clung to her curves, yet not in a way that risked her dignity. Her hair was done up in a bun with strands of bangs styled to frame her face perfectly. The dress brought out the color of her eyes.

"Are you done staring?" Rukia asked with a smirk.

Ichigo blinked. "Y-You look nice," he said, ignoring the faintest heat felt in his cheeks.

She appraised him in his dress slacks, pale yellow collared shirt, black tie, and blazer. "It appears you clean up nicely, as well," she said.

"Heh."

Once she reached the bottom of the stairs, he leaned down and snuck a quick kiss. She smiled softly once they parted.

"My third daughter!" Isshin exclaimed from the living room. He flashed a thumbs-up with both hands.

"Shut up, old man!" Karin called from her own seat in the room.

"Doesn't Rukia-chan look amazing?" Yuzu gushed. The twins wore elegant gowns and blouses, respectively. Ichigo couldn't remember the last time he'd seen everyone dressed up so much that didn't involve a funeral or scam by his father to get on television. It was also strange seeing his old man dressed so cleanly.

"Good job, son!" Isshin winked. Karin whacked him on the head with a magazine.


It all started just three weeks ago. When Ichigo had finally done what he'd dreamt of for years: tell Rukia how he thought of her. How he really thought of her. That he didn't think of her as just a comrade from battle, or a mentor from Soul Society, or an out-of-town friend who visited in her precious few off-hours.

More than a classmate. More than a friend.

They'd been sitting on the clinic's roof that evening. It wasn't something he planned, despite the many times he'd dreamt of it- ideas and images that were perilously close to things he'd read in classic novels or poems. They were sitting side by side under the faint flicker of stars that prevailed against the blinding city lights. It was warm, but pleasantly so.

Then, he'd said it.

Panic instantly set in; made all the worse at the lack of a ready reply. She was staring. He stuttered, trying to figure out some excuse-

And then, grabbing him swiftly by the collar, she pulled him in for a kiss.

"Idiot," she said softly, once they parted. "It took you far too long to say so."


He asked her out to a nice dinner, because that's what dating couples were supposed to do. They were supposed to go to romantic restaurants with candles and flowers. Restaurants that weren't stuffed with youth baseball teams or filled with smoke from a poorly ventilated fryer. That's what the stories said to do, so he figured he'd do that. Rukia deserved a Mr. Darcy, the dashing suitor from Pride and Prejudice. Ichigo would do whatever it took to give her that.

That evening, she'd arrived at the front door of the clinic dressed in a simple sundress that somehow still gave her an elegance and beauty which took any words away from him. He'd half-expected her to come in through the window.

As far as first dates went, it wasn't anything for the history books, he supposed. It was a nice dinner at a nice restaurant that was somewhat overpriced. But it had white fabric tablecloths and non-disposable napkins, and the host looked a little snobby. Just the kind of place to take a date to. At least, as far as Ichigo knew. But what he was lacking in practical experience he more than made up for in his knowledge of literary romances. That meant things like roses, leaving romantic messages, and possibly- if he could muster the courage- sharing poetry. Poetry he'd written two years ago and kept hidden in a desk drawer, which absolutely did not exist.

The dinner finished much as it started- without fanfare, and strangely quiet from what they were used to.

They took their time walking home, meandering without concern for where they walked or how long it would take. The farther they walked, the more the dinner itself faded from memory. But what he did remember was the way Rukia looked in the dim light, the glint in her eyes that was for him and no one else. The kind of look when they were alone from the world. And he couldn't help but smile.

Along the way, they found a gift shop practically hidden between other worn storefronts. The door itself in sore need of paint, the signs hand-written in marker on plain paper. It had all the variety of a hundred yen store but without any of the quality or class. Rukia grabbed Ichigo by the hand, dragging him inside, eyes alight with curiosity. She gazed at the Tokyo snowglobes with cartoon dogs inside of them. They found bags with Hello Kitty print and Gundam bobbleheads. Nearly every bit of wall was covered in racks of shirts, about eighty percent of which featured 'The Great Wave'. Stands held keychains of cartoon sushi and sayings in old-style calligraphy.

They found a hideous shirt covered in an Mt. Fuji print that would've given Ishida a panic attack. Smirking, Rukia grabbed it and held it up against Ichigo's chest.

"It suits you. Perhaps you could wear it for your sisters at home?"

"Shut up. I've got a sense of style, believe it or not," Ichigo said.

"Oh? I wasn't aware. I haven't seen it," she smirked deviously, but had already moved to a display of cheap folding fans. "Look! Ichigo!" She grabbed a fan with illustrated rabbits on it against a blue background.

"How is it you found the one rabbit-themed item in the entire store?"

"It- Quiet! I'm merely observant," she said, slightly flustered. "Now, you're buying this for me. It's your duty as the boyfriend." She deftly took the fan and shoved it into his chest.

He almost scoffed, but the word 'boyfriend' only repeated in his mind. Boyfriend. Boyfriend. That's what he was, now. A soft smile came to Ichigo's face.

The shop owner, oblivious to what it would cause, oh-so-helpfully chimed in, "We have more rabbit things in this corner."

Rukia's eyes widened, filled with all the joy of a young girl on Christmas morning. Within moments she was picking out pens, notepads, sticker sets, oven mitts (which Rukia had no idea when she'd use, but surely they would be good to have), and a set of earmuffs that risked Ichigo blushing at how cute she looked in them.

Ichigo- and his wallet- never stood a chance.

Somehow, Ichigo knew he would remember those moments for years and decades to come. The excitement free of responsibility; the open smile when her spirit was unbound by expectations and the opinions of others. The true, unabashed Rukia that lay hidden under so many layers. Covered by titles such as 'Vice-Captain' or 'Lady' or whatever else they called her, in a world bound by tradition and rules that didn't need to exist.

That Rukia- the true Rukia- was beautiful.

He could only smile as he watched her practically skip around the store. On the way home, as she chatted idly about the latest manga she'd read, he reached out to hold her hand. They walked the rest of the way hand in hand.


"What do I need to do?"

Ichigo's question had caught Rukia unaware. It was only their third official date, and yet he was already asking about getting Byakuya's formal approval. She paused, her slice of pizza momentarily forgotten. "It's… complicated," she paused again. "There are specific courting traditions for nobility, as well as for the Kuchiki clan."

He was prepared for that. Not for anything in particular- of what the traditions actually were, Ichigo had no idea. But whatever they were, he was going to do them, and that was that. Even if it was something crazy like a traditional dance he had to perform.

They discussed it until the pizza grew cold and Ichigo ordered another green tea for the caffeine boost.


It went well, Ichigo thought. Mostly.

He'd shown up at the proper time, in the proper attire, saying lines Rukia helped him practice. Then, once seated in front of the head of the Kuchiki Clan himself, Ichigo had said, "I am here to request courtship with the Kuchiki clan."

Byakuya didn't shout or glare out in anger. Ichigo considered that a win. Instead, the man continued to stare cooly from behind his Kuchiki facade. "Very well," Byakuya said. "I accept your request for courtship."

A thought struck him. "It's- It's for Rukia," Ichigo had said hurriedly. "The request is for courting Rukia!"

"I am aware."

"...Oh. Right."

There was a painful silence that made Ichigo consider bolting out the door and drowning himself in the nearby koi pond. But he didn't, because Rukia probably would've objected to that.


One day later, a mysterious western man delivered invitations in an elegant hand-brushed script. The Kurosaki family was invited for dinner the next evening, to be held promptly at six-thirty, at the bequest of the Kuchiki Clan.

It was tradition, Rukia said. The elder clan would show mutual appreciation by visiting the other clan's estate and throwing a feast. Something that was doable enough in Soul Society. But Ichigo lived in the Tokyo suburb of Karakura Town. What that meant, exactly, Rukia wasn't even sure.

They only knew that at the end of the feast, the visiting clan would proclaim their approval for the courtship to move forward. Or, if they deemed it a poor match, they would reject the suitor and forbid any future together.

Ichigo refused to think about that possibility.


"When's he going to get here?" Karin asked. "I'm hungry."

"Nii-sama is always on schedule. We have a few minutes until it's time," Rukia said.

"I can't wait to see what he has planned!" Yuzu said.

"Yeah. Especially if he's fancy nobility and all that," Karin said while taking a seat on the couch.

"He has excellent taste. Nii-sama is very particular, and misses no detail in whatever he does," Rukia said.

Ichigo considered. "What about that time he told Renji there was going to be KFC at that officer's lunch, and there wasn't?"

Rukia sighed. "That was intentional."

"Oh."

Besides Ichigo's research, the Kurosaki family was ill-equipped for the intricacies of noble customs in Soul Society. The only exception was his father's expertise in the drinking and partying aspects of noble living. The man had plenty of experience in that area.

"Do you think it'll be the restaurant next to the bridge?" Yuzu said, almost unable to see past the stars in her eyes. "They don't even list prices!"

"I've always wondered what it would be like to go to a place like that," Karin said idly. "Goat-chin's always been too cheap for anything nice."

Isshin huffed. "H-Hey! Listen, now-"

"I wouldn't mind the restaurant next to the bridge," Karin said, considering it for the first time. "Are we sure they're not bringing all their fancy foods here?"

Rukia paused. "It's possible. The tradition is only that he must host a feast for you- traditionally, that would involve a large party of the Kuchiki Clan to arrive at the suitor's house. Then, they would provide all food, supplies, labor, and entertainment for the evening. However… I suppose he could do that, here. Though it would be rather cramped." She looked around the small living area with a faint frown. The kitchen table could fit six if extra chairs were moved in from another room.

"Don't they have some fancy restaurants that sit you in the kitchen or something? Like the chef is standing there making the food just for you," Karin said.

Ichigo considered. "Yeah. I think I saw that on TV, too." He tried to imagine what a nobility feast would be like, but he hadn't seen anything quite like it in Soul Society. And he kept imagining scenes from Spirited Away for some reason. He scowled to himself.

Rukia placed a discreet hand on his arm. "You will do fine. I have faith in you."

His scowl melted away quickly. "Yeah."

Then, there was a knock at the front door.

Ichigo stepped forward to answer. He was the 'suitor', after all, and there was a tradition about it Rukia had told him about. Opening the door revealed a man. He looked like a typical westerner and was very much not Byakuya.

"Hello," the man said with a cordial smile in faintly accented Japanese. "Ichigo Kurosaki?"

"Uh. Yeah." Ichigo blinked. "Who are you?"

"I'm Doug," the young man said while bowing slightly, accompanied by a cheery smile. "I'm Mr. Kuchiki's assistant."

Ichigo squinted. "Assistant? Assistant for what?"

"Well…" Doug shrugged. "Technically, the title is 'Living World' assistant. Which basically means I'm a life assistant for Mr. Kuchiki. You know, helping out with all areas of living- dining and lodging reservations, investments, wardrobe, item orders… That sort of thing." He gave another polite smile. "Now, if you'll follow me to the car…"

"Car?!" Yuzu beamed. Isshin flashed her a thumbs-up.

There was a large, black luxury SUV pulled against a curb close to the clinic entrance. Doug opened the front passenger door. Byakuya, dressed in a black tuxedo, stepped out onto the sidewalk with a grace that shouldn't have been possible with such an awkward step. He regarded Rukia with a nod, who bowed briefly and smiled in return. Then his stern gaze fell on Ichigo.

"H-Hey," Ichigo managed.

"Ichigo Kurosaki," Byakuya said cooly. "I invite you and your family to dinner, on behalf of the Kuchiki Clan."

All eyes were on him. Ichigo nodded, clinging to resolution. Trying to remember what he was supposed to say. "Yeah. Thank you. We accept."

If the reply wasn't up to standard, Byakuya didn't let it show. He gave a brief nod, then returned to his seat in the car. Doug dutifully shut the door behind him before opening the rear passenger doors. The sisters and their father all fit into the back seat, after some complaints and awkward elbowing. Rukia and Ichigo were comfortable in the middle seats which had more room.

Ichigo's family started to whisper fiercely back and forth, sharing more theories of where they were going, what kind of lavish feast they'd have. Karin was even getting hopeful, apparently set on exclusive and rare steaks.

Then, they arrived.

They pulled up alongside a busy street that was packed with all manner of neon signs; tiny storefronts and chains alike. Doug opened the doors and everyone stepped out onto the sidewalk. They looked around eagerly to see where they were going, to know just what mysterious locale had been selected that was worthy of the great Kuchiki name.

Doug approached a nearby set of glass doors. There was a bright yellow sign in the shape of two arches hanging up above. "This way, please," he said as he held the door open.

Ichigo stared. So, too, did his family, as well as Rukia.

Byakuya smoothly strode forward and into the restaurant. The movement broke their spell.

No words came to them, even as they followed through the glass doors and into the red-and-yellow trimmed ordering counter of McDonald's.

Doug led them past the registers and into the empty dining area, past rows of tables and into a secluded party room. There was a large table set up with napkins and paper cups. Byakuya sat wordlessly at the head of the table. The others awkwardly followed, with Rukia and Ichigo sitting closest to him. Isshin was asked to sit at the other end of the table- as 'Head of the House', but conveniently the seat furthest away from Byakuya.

The events of the last minute and thirty seconds were maddening, because no matter how Ichigo looked at it, he couldn't believe he was actually conscious. Was it all a dream? That would make sense. He'd been anxious about the dinner for the past two nights, after all. Because that was the only explanation for the situation they were currently in.

He shot a questioning glance at Rukia. She was too busy looking around the dining room in idle curiosity, unaware of the faint smile on her lips.

Byakuya sat regally at his plastic and metal-molded seat. It had a hamburger print on it.

"H-Hey," Ichgio started, trying to cling fiercely to his fleeting sense of sanity. "It's not a sit-down restaurant. They don't take your or-"

"What can we get you started on for beverages?" A McDonald's staff member now stood opposite them at the table. He held up a notepad and pen.

"Sake," Byakuya said.

Ichigo blinked. "They don't have-"

"Excellent," the server said while jotting something down. "And for you?" He turned to Ichigo.

"Uh. W-water."

"Perfect. And you, miss?"

"Coca Cola," Rukia said.

He nodded. "And for our younger ladies?"

"Oolong iced tea," Yuzu said.

"Sprite," Karin said.

"Very good," the server smiled. "And for you, sir?"

"Sake!" Isshin grinned.

On the other end of the table, Byakuya's eyebrow twitched the smallest amount. Ichigo exchanged a look with Rukia. But it was short-lived, as her attention returned to her brother in the same idle excitement from before. Ichigo was left to contend with the madness himself.

The server excused himself with a bow.

Ichigo stared at the wall across from him. There was a framed photo of an old McDonald's in America somewhere, with the creepy clown mascot standing in front. He'd seen clowns in dreams before, he thought. It would make sense for the entire ordeal to be a dream. Nightmare?

"Have you been here before, Nii-sama?" Rukia asked.

"Yes," her brother nodded. The drinks were expertly brought to the table by three servers. Byakuya didn't even glance up as he took a considerate sip of sake out of his paper cup. There was a smiling Ronald McDonald on it. "I selected the location that would be most suitable for this occasion," Byakuya said.

"Ah…" Rukia glanced back at Doug, who lingered just off to Byakuya's right and ready to help at the slightest notice. "And you have an assistant? Where is he from?"

"Londinium," Byakuya said. He took another sip of sake.

"Actually, I'm technically from the United Kingdom. Birmingham, specifically," Doug said with a smile, despite knowing 'Londinium' had ceased to be called that hundreds of years ago. Because he knew the truth of the matter; why his job itself was so strange, why it was posted on a piece of silk scroll on a McDonald's wall instead of an actual job website, and why he was paid in pieces of solid gold that looked like they came from an old museum. The 'Kuchiki Clan' of mysterious origins with limitless wealth, yet who were unfamiliar with email or sales tax. They weren't mere humans. They were more than that.

They were vampires.

Doug thought it was unexpected, but supposed there had to have been some vampires in the world. Otherwise, where did all the books and movies about them come from? From someone's imagination? Doug wanted to laugh at the thought.

"Ah! The United Kingdoms! I have heard much of that place," Rukia said, thinking of films and tee-vee programs. Doug wasn't wearing a monocle or top hat, but she assumed he was keeping them stored somewhere nearby. "Is it true you must drink black tea every few hours in order to survive?"

Doug opened his mouth to protest. Then, after a thoughtful pause, "I suppose that's true."

"I have wanted to visit, someday. It seems to be a very interesting place," Rukia said, her eyes sparkling. Turning to Ichigo, she asked, "Is it very far?"

Ichigo took a long swig of his water. "Yeah. It's several hours by plane, I'm pretty sure."

The server from before returned, still carrying the notepad and pen. "What will we be having tonight, sir?" he asked the head of the table.

"Bai Teriyaki McBurger, with extra fries," Byakuya said, the words coming to him easily, practiced.

"Very good choice, sir."

They went around the table again as everyone placed their orders. Byakuya gave Isshin a strange glare when he said he didn't want any fries. Just as the server gave a bow and went to leave, Doug met him and whispered something about making sure there was no garlic in the food due to allergies. This was news to Ichigo, but supposed there were many things he didn't know about Byakuya Kuchiki. Something that became more apparent with every second of the evening.

The food was delivered quickly enough, as was expected of 'fast food'. Rukia continued engaging both her brother and Ichigo in earnest chatter. Her legs kicked idly back and forth under the table, all while charging heedlessly into telling Byakuya about the movie she had watched recently at the Kurosaki house with the twins. He listened patiently, calmly, all while taking impossibly clean and dignified bites of his McDonald's burger and fries.

Every so often Rukia would look over at Ichigo for confirmation of part of her tale. He added his agreements and comments when he could. In the end, he settled for watching Rukia. He'd gotten used to her smile, he realized. Something that was scarce just a year ago. There was a glow about her, now. Ichigo smiled as Rukia turned to the twins, enticing them to add to the conversation on mechanical robots that could destroy buildings.

Ichigo shifted in his seat. The minutes- hours? Dragged on. Every bite seemed to be in slow motion, the universe slowing down just to taunt him and prolong his suffering. The moment was at hand for Byakuya to issue his ruling on Ichigo's future with Rukia. A clock ticked loudly against a nearby wall. The hands were those of the Hamburglar.

He was going to be Rukia's Darcy no matter what Byakuya said. He'd go through whatever it took, even if it was against the other man's wishes, even if he had to defy Soul Society and everyone. Again.

But if Byakuya approved it would be a lot easier, probably.

Sitting at the table, watching Byakuya closely while trying to be discreet about it, Ichigo had a startling realization. He wasn't Mr. Darcy at all. He was Elizabeth Bennet, hoping that she'd make a good impression on the Darcy family matriarch against all odds of social standing and class.

"D-dammit," he muttered.

Byakuya cleared his throat. Ichigo sat up in his chair.

All eyes turned to Byakuya. He looked at Rukia, then at Ichigo.

"Ichigo Kurosaki," he said cooly.

Ichigo nodded, awaiting every word, every syllable.

The man's eyes were as stern and direct as ever, locking his gaze with Ichigo's. Ichigo didn't waver.

"You request a courtship with Rukia Kuchiki, of the Kuchiki clan," Byakuya said. "In approval of the arrangement, I present a gift for you and your family."

Ichigo withheld the sigh of relief and even the triumphant smirk that tugged at his lips. Then he blinked in confusion.

Doug handed a light blue gift bag to Byakuya, one with thin paper handles at the top and white tissue paper sticking out. Byakuya carefully placed it in front of Ichigo. "I present an elusive, rare antique. May it find your family well for years to come. "

Vaguely, something about the 'host' family giving a gift existed somewhere in Rukia's explanations. "Thanks," Ichigo said with an earnest nod. He could tell everyone else was watching with equal curiosity. The bag- obviously wrapped with Doug's help, judging from the Daiso bag and tissue paper- was surprisingly heavy. Ichigo pulled out the wafty tissues in a mess of crinkle sounds, piling them into a small mountain on the table. And underneath was a cardboard box- oblong and medium-sized. He reached in, pucked out the box, and placed it on the table for all to see.

"A… VHS tape rewinder," he read aloud.

For a moment, no one spoke.

Ichigo first thought it was something called a VHS tape player. Something that still sat in their living room, collecting dust for at least five years, after they'd upgraded into DVDs.

But it wasn't a VHS tape player. It was a VHS tape rewinder; a dark gray, flat, oblong-shaped device. It had a slot to place a VHS tape into with a single button: 'rewind'. Judging from the font used on the box, it was older than the twins.

"Amazing!" Rukia gushed, leaning over the table for a closer look. "This is truly remarkable. That's very kind of you, Nii-sama!"

Byakuya nodded.

"...Yeah. Thank you." Ichigo thought about forcing a smile, but abandoned the thought. He gave a manly nod of understanding instead.

"He picked it out himself," Doug added.

His sisters managed their own uncertain- but graceful- words of thanks. Ichigo could hear the confusion and befuddlement in the slight pauses between Karin's words; in the higher pitch of Yuzu's voice. His father worded his thanks in a genuine cheer, the kind only gained from alcohol.

Finally, before the night was done, a server swept in and placed two Happy Meal toys in front of the sisters.

Karin's face crumpled up in teenage confusion. The bag said 'ages 3-5' on it. "How old does he think we are?" she whispered across the table.

Yuzu shrugged.


"That was weird."

The words escaped Ichigo's lips before he could help it. Rukia, who stood by his right, gave him a deadpan look. "What?"

After giving very polite thanks, the family had bid Byakuya and Doug goodbye, lingering outside the clinic and waving until the SUV sped away. Back to Urahara's shop, probably.

Ichigo and Rukia still remained on the sidewalk even as the others returned back inside. Rukia folded her arms, watching Ichigo closely in a way that made him question if he did something wrong.

"It was weird," he said again.

"It was not 'weird'. How was it 'weird'?"

"You know…" he started, almost feeling himself grasp a shovel and dig. "The whole thing. It was weird. Who goes to McDonald's for a fancy occasion like that? Was he confused?"

Rukia continued to watch him carefully. He held her gaze. Then, as he expected, she lightly jabbed him in the gut. "Fool. As I said, Nii-sama does nothing without intent."

Ichigo let out a grunt. "Then why McDonald's? Is there some Shinigami obsession with cheap fast food in the living world? Renji's hooked on KFC."

She shook her head lightly, calmer. "You misunderstand. Would you rather he have taken us somewhere more elaborate, the sort you would expect for the head of the Kuchiki Clan?"

Ichigo frowned. He knew what those places were generally like- cold, snobby, showy. Quiet. Obsessed with appearances and showmanship. "No. I guess not."

Rukia took a step forward to stand in front of him, peering up at him with little room between them. A faint smile tugged at her lips, amused. "While he could have chosen a more elaborate location, as would be customary for tradition… It seems he has taken to liking the food there, during his visits to the living world. By selecting that place, it's an honest sharing of something he cares about." Her violet eyes found his, gentle and warm, as she reached for his hands.

She was practically glowing again, in the way only he could see. Ichigo chuckled. "Yeah… I guess." Leaning down, he cupped the back of her neck, gently capturing her lips with his.

"I said you would do well," she murmured, their gazes locked. "Perhaps that will make you listen to me?"

"Heh. It's not like I could ignore you, anyway."

"That's good to know," she said, leaning back slightly. "You will need to listen closely when I advise you on the Dance of the Courtship Ceremony of the First Moon."

"Yeah," Ichigo said.

He paused. Then, he frowned. "Wait… What's the-"

"Oh! What is that?!" Rukia said far too loudly, stepping quickly away and looking at the silent and closed clinic doors.

"Oi! W-wait! What's the Court-courtship of the... Dance-"

"Yes, I'm coming right away, Yuzu, Karin!" she called out to no one, all but bolting away and shutting the doors behind her.

Ichigo was left alone on the sidewalk, still holding the gift bag with a fifteen-year-old VHS tape rewinder inside of it. It made sense, he supposed.

Even Elizabeth Bennet had to dance in order to get Mr. Darcy.