Clarke tried to sleep that night. Tried being the operative word, but it was no use. She was cold, so she bundled herself under her covers. Then she was too hot and kicked everything off. Her mattress decided it wanted to be uncomfortable and wouldn't let Clarke find a comfortable position to fall asleep. Clarke's mind wouldn't stop replaying that afternoon. Ten's words echoing with barely controlled emotion held in check. Finn's behavior. Clarke's conversation with her dad. It all played in a neverending loop, leaving Clarke with a budding headache and the inability to sleep.
Finally having enough, Clarke got out of bed. She sat on the edge with her head in her hands as she tried to stop the tumultuous onslaught of thoughts. But it was a useless endeavor. Looking at her alarm clock, she saw that it was three in the morning. Way too early to be awake.
Clarke knew what she needed to do. She needed to see Ten. Clarke needed to apologize. Clarke needed Ten to see that she still loved and cared for the Alpha. And she needed to do it now.
With a new feeling of determination, she pulled on a jacket and shoved her feet into her training shoes. She edged up to her door and pressed her ear to it, listening for the sounds of her parents. But all was quiet. Slowly opening the door, she winced when it creaked, pausing to make sure that it hadn't woken her parents. When it was clear that nothing had disturbed their rest, Clarke ducked out of her room and, as silently as she could, made her way to the front door.
Walking down the halls of Alpha in the early morning hours was creepy. The normal sounds and metallic creaks louder and eerier than usual. Clarke stuck to the shadows, ducking down hallways when she heard footsteps echo down her path. By the time she reached the Cartwig residence, she was drenched in sweat, and her heart was pumping thunderously in her ears. Trying to quell her fear, she punched in their code and slipped inside.
The interior was briefly lit by the hall lights before Clarke was plunged into darkness once the door closed. She took a steadying breath, her hand out to keep her from knocking into anything, and headed towards Ten's room. Clarke paused outside the door, ears straining for any noise within but only heard silence. Reaching out, she slowly turned the knob and opened it enough to squeeze through.
Her eyes had adjusted enough to see Ten asleep on her bed. The covers rumpled around her waist. Clarke took a moment to absorb the sight. Her heart was stuttering at how still her girlfriend appeared. How unbothered she seemed. For a second, Clarke felt a stab of jealousy because while Clarke found herself restless and unable to sleep, Ten appeared to be suffering from none of it. But it passed quickly with the realization that if Ten was emotional, it was more than likely she had exhausted herself in the Pit. Because that's what Ten did. If Ten felt overwhelmed with whatever, she trained. Ten claimed that it allowed clarity to get at the root and find a solution.
Stirring herself into motion, Clarke carefully made her way to the bed. Kneeling until she was level with Ten. And this is where Clarke grew clarity of her own. For even in slumber, Ten's face wasn't relaxed. She was frowning in her sleep. Ten's brow furrowed and pain drawing her face taut. Clarke wondered how she had never noticed it before. She asked herself when she stopped seeing Ten.
Clarke shook her head slightly; she had been a fool. So wrapped up in her own problems and feelings, Clarke had ignored the most important person to her. She felt ashamed.
Clarke tentatively reached out and moved a strand of Ten's hair to the side before slowly tracing the outline of the girl's face. She was surprised when Ten let out a stuttering purr like she was unsure. Clarke felt her heart clench with sadness and felt tears well up. She had done this. Though Ten was partially to blame for not seeking help, Clarke was as much, if not more, to blame for her love's distress.
Clarke continued to lovingly stroke Ten's face, losing herself as Ten's purr steadied. Clarke was oblivious to Ten's nose scrunching as Ten caught Clarke's scent. Or the fluttering of her eyes to reveal Ten's dark orbs.
"Clarke," Ten rasped, voice slightly unbelieving.
Clarke jerked her hand back, dropped it to her lap, and dropped her gaze.
"I had to see you," Clarke ashamedly whispered. "I couldn't sleep, and I needed to see you."
Ten let out a soft sigh and repeated, "Clarke."
Clarke swallowed the pain she felt in her throat, and tears began to fall, "I am so, so sorry, Tennyson. I was so focused on my feelings and how hurt I was that I didn't see you. I didn't see the strain school, and the apprenticeships were putting you under. I didn't see how tired you've been. I didn't feel how much it hurt not to spend time with us. With me. I didn't feel the regret or, or the pain. I, I di—"
Ten reached out and laid a finger across Clarke's lips, silencing her, "Shh, Clarke. You're rambling."
Clarke swallowed and nodded, taking Ten's hand in hers. Hope sparking when Ten didn't take her hand back.
"I'm just so, so sorry, Ten," Clarke repeated. "I—"
"Clarke," Ten bit out, beginning to feel irritated. "Stop apologizing. You're not the only one at fault here. I messed up too. I didn't talk about the stress I've been under or anything, really. That's on me. But it is late, and we have school in only a few hours."
Clarke nodded, still playing with Ten's hand, and in a small voice, "Can I…Is it…"
"Go home, Clarke," Ten said, and Clarke flinched. "If you stay, we'll just push everything back and won't face our problems. It'll be too easy to pretend. So, please, just go home, and I'll see you tomorrow."
Clarke nodded, "Can I…"
Ten reached up with the hand Clarke was playing with and cupped the back of Clarke's head. Bringing Clarke closer as she leaned forward. Their lips met in a soft embrace, and for a moment, everything felt right in the world again. But it was over too quickly, and Ten was lying back in bed, wiping tears from Clarke's face before she withdrew her hand.
"Goodnight, Clarke," Ten whispered.
"Goodnight, Tennyson," Clarke whispered back and reluctantly stood up.
Clarke slowly walked over to the door, feeling Ten's eyes on her. She paused with her hand on the knob, "I love you, Tennyson Cartwig."
"I love you too, Clarke Griffin," Ten replied, her voice already heavy with slumber.
Feeling lighter with Ten's proclamation of love, Clarke walked out and snuck back home. When she crawled underneath her covers, Clarke felt calmer, and sleep was finally within her grasp. She fell asleep with the ghost of Ten's lips pressed to hers.
When Clarke stepped out of the Griffin residence, she was disappointed not to see Ten waiting for her as usual. She understood that it was Ten's way of saying things still weren't right between them. Even after last night. She understood, but it didn't lessen the pain she felt at not seeing her girlfriend first thing in the morning.
So, wearily, Clarke trudged her way through the corridors of the Ark, her head down and feeling miserable. She ignored everyone until a persistent voice calling her name brought her out of her misery. Clarke looked up and around to find Wells waving her down. She smiled, seeing her friend and hugged him.
"Hi, Wells," Clarke said when she released him.
Wells smiled, "Hi back. I'm surprised to see you walking to class by yourself. Where's Ten?"
Clarke's smile dropped, and she sighed, "Ten and I fought."
"Oh," he replied, looking at her with concern as they started walking again.
Clarke nodded, "Yeah, ever since Ten started her apprenticeships, things became difficult. We stopped talking with each other, and things built up. It all came to a head yesterday when she finally had the afternoon off, and I didn't tell anyone I was going to be tutoring Finn. It just…it just didn't end well."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Wells said, hugging the blonde with one arm. "But I'm sure you guys will figure it out. You guys have been solid for years. One fight won't be the end of you guys. But, on a side note, Finn is the last person you should be hanging out with."
"Why's that," Clarke curiously asked. "He's always been nice to me."
Wells nodded, "That's how it always starts with him. He's charming until he gets the girl and then talks about them. Not all of it flattering. Just be careful around him, okay?
Clarke frowned, but nodded, "Yeah, I will. Though I could have used the warning before yesterday."
He looked at her, sheepishly, "Well, you're hardly around anymore. You're always with your pack."
Clarke sighed, "Float me. I've been ignoring you too, haven't I?"
"It's alright," he quickly replied. "But, it is rather boring to play chess by yourself."
"How about once I fix my relationship with Ten, we start our weekly chess games again," Clarke asked, looking at him hopefully. "Ten's busy with the apprenticeships, and she doesn't have enough time to beat my ass anymore. I could use the boost in my self-esteem."
Wells chuckled, "Yeah, I'd like that. You don't think Ten'll be upset if we start playing again?"
"Ten's not like that," Clarke quickly reassured her friend. "She likes you, which you know is rare."
"Took her long enough," Wells smiled, and Clarke rolled her eyes.
"Honestly, I don't know why she's opposed to befriending others outside the pack. It doesn't make sense, but both she and Bell are the same way."
"I think they're just protective," Wells suggested.
"Maybe," Clarke hummed and noticed they were nearing the classrooms. "Well, I guess I'll see you later, Wells. This is where we part ways."
"Yay," he sarcastically replied. "I wish I was smart enough to skip grades like you."
Clarke snorted, "No, you don't. Class is just as boring in Year Ten as it is in Year Nine. There's just more of it."
Wells grimaced, "Okay. No, I'll gladly wait a year."
"Bye, Wells," Clarke said, pulling him into a hug.
"Take care, Clarke," Wells said, returning the hug. "And really, you guys will figure it out. Ten loves you, and you love her. It's plain as day and twice on Sunday."
Clarke nodded and steeling herself, entered the classroom. When she walked in, her eyes immediately searched the room until they settled on Ten. Ten was sitting on her desk talking with Raven and Octavia. It was another reminder when she realized Ten hadn't been socializing recently the way she used to. She felt a flutter in her chest as Ten laughed. Realizing yet again, that Clarke hadn't heard Ten laugh in what felt like forever. Not a laugh that sounded as carefree and joyful as this one did.
Clarke berated herself once more for being so blind to Ten's own plight.
You joining us or are you the new doorstop, Ten's mindvoice shook her out of her spiraling thoughts.
Clarke started, and she looked over to see Ten looking at her with a warm smile on her face. She felt the heat rise on her face and dropped her head to hide it, only to hear her friends laughing.
Clarke groaned but started moving to where they all sat.
"Morning," Clarke greeted them quietly.
"It most certainly is," Raven replied, scowling a bit. "There is no reason to be up this early or at school."
"Oh, shoosh," Octavia said, shoving the Latina lightly. "You're just mad because you have to wait until after lunch to go and play with Sinclair."
"Of course, I am," Raven huffed in irritation. "Do you know how long I've waited to work on the Ark systems? Years! Decades!"
"Rae, you've been alive for less than twenty," Clarke said, shaking her head at her friend's antics. "Decades is a little far-reaching."
"At least Abby took you to Medical," Raven retorted. "Sinclair wouldn't let me step one foot in Engineering. Not one!"
"That's because he was too afraid you'd blow up an essential system," Ten admonished her. "And he was right to worry. We still haven't been able to remove that stain off the Pit walls from your last failed experiment."
"Hey," Raven said, poking Ten in the chest. "You gotta break some eggs to make a cake. I learned from that, and it worked the second time around."
Ten snorted, "Yeah, after your eyebrows grew back."
"Mom was pissed that I used up all our burn cream on that fiasco," Clarke chimed in. "I had to make up for it by inventorying their stock for weeks."
"And by the by, the saying is, you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs," Ten said with a smirk.
Raven put her hand in Ten's face and shoved her back, "Shut up. No one asked you."
Ten licked the palm of Raven's hand, and she snatched it back with a look of disgust, making Ten laugh. It suddenly felt like old times, and Clarke felt hopeful that she and Ten could work past this and come out stronger.
Clarke leaned against Ten, who automatically wrapped an arm around Clarke's shoulders.
"How busy are you today, Ten," Clarke whispered.
"I'm with Kane today, but I don't have a patrol," Ten answered. "I should be home by eight tonight."
Clarke nodded, "Can we talk then?"
"Of course, beautiful," Ten replied, kissing the blonde on the head. "I had time to think yesterday, and there are definitely things we need to talk about. And I'm willing if you are."
"I am," Clarke replied, looking up at her.
"Then, we'll talk tonight, okay?"
Clarke nodded and leaned in to plant a chaste kiss on Ten's lips, making the others around them groan.
They parted amidst chuckles before sitting correctly in their seats. Just in time, too, because no sooner had they sat down, the teacher was walking in and already teaching the moment the door closed. Clarke glanced over at Ten and took note that Ten still looked tired even after a full night's rest. It looked like not even an afternoon off had been enough to restore Ten. That made Clarke determined to make sure that if nothing else, she would help Ten reduce the stress in her life.
