Chapter 13

Shino returned home. Now that Hinata and Kiba had met Lady Natsuki, they found the whole thing less interesting. And because Kiba had spread around what he knew, so too did everyone else, including Shino's own family. Shino wasn't even sure how serious Torune was about wanting to go.

It was all just becoming routine.

Barely worth mentioning anymore.


"Torune, would you spar with me?"

Torune looked at him in surprise, and Shino too was surprised. He had not planned on saying that, it was Lady Natsuki who made him say it, and that alarmed him, broke him out of the numb. He thought, hoped, maybe, she was getting bored. Why would she do this?

Shino was no match for Torune. Kiba's taijutsu was far superior to his own, so was Hinata's, though with their help he had vastly improved.

"Sure, I'll go easy on you."

"Do you go easy on Kiba?"

"Yeah, but don't tell him. I still like it; he's got crazy moves."

Was Lady Natsuki going to give him strength? That would be too obvious.

They made their way to a clearing in the forest. No witnesses, just the two of them. Even without Lady Natsuki's influence, Shino thought he would be slightly intimidated to fight Torune, even as training, and he was right.

Even holding back, Torune's movements were precise, powerful, just standing this close made Shino nervous, and he chided himself, just because Lady Natsuki caught him off guard was no excuse to fight sloppily. Though he had little else, he could still retain his pride as a shinobi, he didn't want Torune to leave this thinking less of him, and with that, he centered himself, focused, and he was pleased with the results, all until the end when Torune swept Shino's leg out from underneath him, causing him to lose his balance, and Torune took advantage, pushing him down and falling with him, landing with Torune pinning his arms down with his own.

"That was pretty good, Shino.' Torune said with a grin. "You did better than I expected, but I win."

Shino wasn't sure why that made his heart race, why he could feel where Torune had pinned him for hours afterward. Over adrenalized, nerves frayed, skin burning.

He actually preferred the numb.


Torune asked him to spar again, and when Torune ended that match, and every subsequent match with the same move – to Shino's shame, he really should have been able to avoid it – he had the same reaction.

Each and every time, for it became a regular occurrence. Shino would ask, or he would accept when Torune did, still wanting to spend time together, still knowing the hourglass was running out of sand, that he was running out of time, still wanting to cherish the time he had left. It was a miracle, he told himself, over and over again, that he even got to see Torune again.

So he kept at it, even with the overload it caused his worn out system.

At first, Torune would smile at him, and when he pinned him, it was light, more a gesture, a symbol of victory than an actual hold, but that changed. Soon, he was applying pressure, leaning his weight down, so that Shino really couldn't have broken out of it, even if he'd tried.

It frightened him, of course it frightened him. It didn't matter that this was the person who'd sacrificed his whole life for him, whom he'd spent so much time with when they were children. They weren't children, even though they still did some of the same things, that Torune still indulged him, walking through the forest with him, searching for insects, didn't matter that they shared blood, shared a name, shared the same roof over their heads at night, because in some ways, and especially when they were like this, Shino didn't recognize him, didn't feel he was with one of his kin, saw the black and red as an enemy would, as a sign of power, of danger, of the unknown.

All he could say is it wasn't the sheer terror he felt with Lady Natsuki. Something mitigated it, there was some trust here, with Torune, even when Shino himself couldn't tell anymore, his hive could, because Lady Natsuki could control his movements, but she could not control his hive. Not exactly anyway.

He still needed to direct them to attack, to scatter, to leave and return to him. She would approve these commands, but she prevented him from using them to send a message to anyone about his situation, which he would have to do, since they did not understand the situation he was in. They did not have the higher reasoning or speech abilities of other nin-animals. They could not communicate something this obscure.

They were aware of the other hives, the other hosts within the clan, could cooperate with each other under the direction of their hosts, but each hive was separate, its own unit. The only risk would be if his state became such that his hive considered him an unsuitable host. This, as he had said to Lady Natsuki was a mutually beneficial relationship. They lent him their assistance in battle. He lent his body to be their shelter. If they did not get what they needed from him, they would leave.

So far, he was alright. His hive understood that he was momentarily incapacitated, when Lady Natsuki fed, that he was stressed afterwards, but by the time he returned to the Village, he was more or less alright. They would trust him to tell them if they were in danger, and sometimes, they would return the favor, and maybe she would gain the ability to command his hive with further feedings, he wasn't sure, but for now, they were under his control, his contract, they were his allies, and they told him Torune was not a threat.

Carry on.

Carry on, despite the confusion, the disorientation, the uncertainty.

Carry on, even when Torune placed a knee between his own upon landing, or hooked his shins over Shino's, holding his legs down.

The final straw, and there was a final straw, where his hive picked a middle option, when Torune changed his hold from Shino's arms to his wrists, pinned them above his head when they landed, and they landed hard, rather Shino did, since he was the one who broke their fall, clumsily too, had failed to even preserve his pride.

Time shifted, changed, stood still, got strange, wavy, distorted. Torune lingered, longer than he ever had, was looking down at him with an expression Shino couldn't read, he knew it was different than before, or had gradually become this, even with the glasses blocking his eyes.

Shino's heart began to hammer, he willed it to stop, wasn't even sure why it was happening, but it didn't stop, was so loud he was sure Torune could hear it, was embarrassed, ashamed that a feverish blush started at his neck, working it's way up to his face, he was sure Torune could see, and that only made him more embarrassed, and even still Torune didn't move, only when Shino's hive made that decision, to come out but not attack. Only to gather, make themselves known, only then did Torune get up. Offered a hand down to Shino, who took it, as he always did, albeit shakily, and asked his hive to return.

"Sorry, went a little too far there, didn't I? Didn't mean to freak you out like that." Torune said, after Shino was standing. His voice was calm, nonchalant, as though nothing out of the ordinary had taken place, and Shino almost wondered, maybe nothing had. Maybe it was all just in his imagination. Even the coldness in Torune's tone, the distance they kept from each other as they started walking, the feeling that Torune wasn't really looking at him when he spoke, to say he was going out tonight, even though he had turned his head to face Shino as he did so.

Maybe none of that was happening.

Shino really didn't know anymore.


Torune, Shino, nor Lady Natsuki initiated another sparring session. At first, Shino thought maybe he was imagining this too, that Torune was avoiding him, but after awhile he couldn't deny it. Torune was rarely home, even when he was in the Village. They didn't even go walking through the woods anymore.

Shino wondered if he had done something to offend Torune, and it occurred that maybe that same thing had caused the strangeness in their sparring bouts, why Torune had become more and more aggressive, and suddenly it was so obvious, Shino couldn't believe he hadn't seen it earlier. Torune was angry with him. Of course he was. He was experiencing life as he could have lived it, if he hadn't taken Shino's place.

Shino determined to leave him be after that. To let him enjoy his hard earned freedom.