Chapter 19

It was almost a relief, when Lady Natsuki finally called, shortly after Shino and his teammates returned. The feedings didn't actually take that long. He'd rather just get it over with.

He wasn't sure why, he could have just asked his dad to relay to Torune he was leaving, but he went over to Torune's new quarters, fully expecting to have to leave him a note, but to Shino's surprise, he was there, looking equally startled to see Shino.

"You're going to Lady Natsuki's again?"

"Word travels fast."

"One of these days I'd like to come with you, but I'm on some mandatory down time at the moment. Got something coming up a little while from now though."

"That's alright."

Shino wasn't sure if it was only in his mind, but this all felt ominous to him. He had that thought again, how many more times would he see Torune, for Shino had no guarantee Torune would survive whatever mission Lady Hokage was sending him on next. None of them in this village had that guarantee.

"Torune," Shino began, not sure what he was going to say, if this was him or Lady Natsuki, but Torune spoke too, Shino's name at the same time.

"You go first." Torune said, appearing slightly nervous, so unlike him.

"I… I'm glad you came home. I'm glad I got to see you again. You are important to me. Thank you for taking my place in Anbu Root." Shino finished, bowed.

"Hey, where's this coming from? There's no need for that." Torune said, indicating the bow, and Shino straightened his back.

"I… you're welcome. I'd do it again, you know that. I'm glad we got to see each other again too, but… remember when I said I was trying to figure some things out?"

"Yes." Shino replied, when it was clear Torune wanted a response to this.

"I was hoping to have a little more time to do this, but with you leaving now… I got something for you, but do me a favor, don't open it now, okay? Look at it on your trip, think it over, and you can tell me if you want it when you get back, we can talk when you get back. You… won't offend me if you don't want it."

"Is everything alright?" Shino asked uneasily. This felt so much like their sparring matches, where he knew something was wrong, but didn't know what.

"Yes, just… will you do this for me?" Torune insisted.

"Of course."

Torune visibly relaxed, then finished, "Go and return safely, and may the ancestors watch over you."

Shino replied, trying desperately to maintain his calm. "And may the ancestors watch over you until I return."


Shino considered waiting, until after Lady Natsuki fed, to have something to distract him, something to look forward to, but he wasn't sure, with the way Torune had been acting if this gift was something to look forward to. He also considered that she might make him open it beforehand, certainly she was curious as to what was inside, and it was suddenly more appealing, to open it now, at his favorite grove of trees on this trip, crickets chirping along with the mournful cries of doves, patches of light making their way down through the leaves. He sat down, his back against the mighty oak tree, not only to take a rest, but because he needed to not be standing, to not be on his feet, for his legs felt shaky, so did his arms and his hands as he took out Torune's present.

A small, black cloth wrapped simply with string. Shino unwrapped it, and wondered if this was a joke, Torune messing with him, he wouldn't put it past him, for there wasn't anything in here, until Shino saw something, it was just difficult to see, black on black. Shino picked it up, it was wood carved, painted black on the underside, wondered what this was, until he flipped it and saw the familiar black and red of ladybug spots.

He almost dropped it, and time stood still, his hearing got strange, as though he had gone underwater, pressure changes, even heard a ringing sound, for he knew what this meant, it just didn't make sense to him in this context. It was traditional, had fallen out of favor; in older times, members of his clan would give this to someone they wished to court: a love token.

Lady Natsuki's laughter erupted in his mind, he had never heard her laugh before, it chilled his blood, chilled him to the bone, with its mixture of amusement and condescension, as if screaming, "I told you so!"

It still didn't make sense. Nothing made any sense, but he didn't want to move from here, just wanted to stay seated here, until something, anything, finally, mercifully made sense. He tucked the ladybug within the roots of the tree, because he didn't want Lady Natsuki to see it, to hold it in her hands, he could pick it up on his way home, could figure it out then, because however much he wanted to stay there, he knew it wasn't possible, she wouldn't allow it, and sure enough, she urged him to his feet, and onward.