Chapter 24

"How much farther, do you know?" Torune asked.

"I think we're close." Shino replied.

"I'd certainly hope so. Didn't realize we were going on a tour."

It seemed they had walked down every hall and staircase this estate had. Lady Natsuki was still playing with them. He could only hope Hinata and Kiba were alright, though he supposed maybe he should be more worried about himself and Torune.

Lady Natsuki had Torune walk ahead, with Shino monitoring him from behind and Shino had that same feeling he'd had when he and Torune had sparred, of seeing him as an enemy would, though in this case, he supposed that was apt. Lady Natsuki had set the two of them against each other even before they had left the library. While Shino did not believe Torune would kill him if he could avoid it, if Lady Natsuki made Shino attack, and that was Torune's only choice… He was interrupted from that train of thought by a message from Lady Natsuki.

"Just up ahead. The door on the right."

"She alright with me opening it?"

"Yes."

"Here we go then."

Torune turned the knob, let the doors swing forward, revealing a small sitting area. It wasn't particularly grand, by the standards of this place, Shino wondered why she had picked this one, he didn't recognize it, hadn't been in this wing of the mansion often, even with Kiba and Hinata he had not visited every room here.

There were two chairs, a table between them beside another fireplace, going strong, the staff it seemed were busy tonight, though nowhere in sight.

"Have a seat." Shino said, relaying Lady Natsuki's wishes, before she abruptly ceased assisting him, his strength giving out as he fell heavily into the closest chair, and found himself needing to immediately catch his breath. There was bread and water set out on the table, which he quickly helped himself to, hoping it would help. It usually did, at least a little, but he was worried. Lady Natsuki had not been sparing with him tonight in terms of how much she took, and he could really feel that, when she withdrew her support, how little time he had been given to recuperate, before she had started this elaborate play of hers. The weakness of his limbs, the heaviness of his head, how if he moved too quickly, the room began to spin. He closed his eyes a moment, knowing he would need as much energy as he could muster for this next stage, the most entertaining of all, he could actually feel it, from his link with her, as Torune mutely took the farther chair, avoiding the refreshments.

Shino's heart rate picked up, he tried to breathe, calm himself, yet he couldn't stop his shoulders, his fingers from shaking. He didn't know what Lady Natsuki had planned here, how much free will he would be given. At the moment though, he didn't need to do anything, only listen, because Torune spoke.

"Shino, I… I need to say something first. I'm not trying to make Lady Natsuki mad, but no matter what you say to me here, I'm not going to hold you to it, and she knows that. How could I? She's told us outright she can control what you say and do, and she has. So what is it she expects to happen here? It's kind of anti-climactic, really.

"I can just talk, I guess. Maybe that's what she wants, and I can just talk to you, okay? But hell, you look like you're about to pass out… Goddammit, anyway, I… those sparring matches of ours, were when I first thought, I didn't quite have it, just that I liked it, but really I… wasn't expecting this with you, then I spooked myself, that last time, when you got scared, hell, I knew you were scared before that too, didn't know what I was doing when I kept pinning you, hell, I didn't know what I was doing either, I… you know I kind of like to ruffle people's feathers, I figured at first that's what it was, get in your space a little, you've always been so distant.

"You've always intrigued me, just the stuff you'd do, the things you'd say, it was so different, no one could figure you out, even in our clan, you always stood out, stood alone a bit, never seemed like it bothered you much. Not like me. It drove me nuts, having to be separate. You probably know that, it's why you thought you'd be a better fit in Anbu Root, we already went over that.

"Still, I... had to think about it, I wasn't sure. I… really wasn't going to risk anything with you, didn't want to flirt like I usually do, I knew it'd just confuse you, or worse, you'd think I was teasing you, and… well yeah, I like to tease you sometimes.

"Fuck… this is such bullshit, having to act like this is… it's been a year? You've been coming here a year? And I never fucking noticed? And, it just gets worse, we all joked you and her were… Dammit, I… fuck it, Lady Natsuki, let him talk to me. Just talk to me, Shino, about anything, please, just… I know you're not okay, but talk to me."

"I…" Shino started, then paused, couldn't speak another, not one single word, much less a string of them, a sentence, could barely even think one, or alternatively, he thought too many words, couldn't pick one, they just blended together, just felt utterly tied, tongue-tied, bonded to, bound by Lady Natsuki's manipulations, machinations. There was absolutely nothing he could say here, he felt just as trapped as he had all those nights back at home, laying in wake, wondering if, how, he could get out of this, and finding nothing. There was nothing he could say or do here that would make this any better, only worse, so much worse, rain running downhill.

"Shino?" Torune asked again, fear in his voice. Shino couldn't recall a time he'd heard Torune afraid.

There was no response in words, only in actions, as he rose, rather, Lady Natsuki had him rise.

"Go to bed with me." was the response both of them heard, both of them froze at, and Shino, once again, wondered why he was shocked. Why he thought Lady Natsuki would stop, why there was going to be some boundary she would not cross, that she would leave well enough alone, but she had said this, admitted it openly, the whole reason for this meeting in her mind was for this, this matchmaking of hers. This is the angle she had approached this, when she first broached it with him. Of course she would go this way. He couldn't even argue with her, she wasn't here. Why he felt the need to rationalize this, why he was stuck on this aspect, well, because he could barely think of the implications of this statement.

"This… isn't a request, is it? This isn't a question?" Torune asked, haltingly at first, then anger clutching his voice as he continued, "This why she had us walking all over the place? To get us to some quiet corner?"

"She doesn't care." Shino wanted to answer, but instead he - and desperately didn't want to – took his trench coat off, let it fall onto the chair, unbuttoned his jacket, the same one Hinata had helped him back into earlier, let it fall too, repeating his moves from earlier this evening, and he once again felt claustrophobic, but in a different way, this room, this manor, this cavernous, enormous manor where he had spent night after night after night, left his goggles on, but it didn't matter, he could see Torune eyeing his neck, the wound, visible for the first time to him, in the worst state it had ever been in, saw Torune grip the arms of his chair, but remain seated, tensing, bracing for the next move, and neither of them had to wait long, Shino walked over, the cool air on his skin no longer soothing, he actually broke out in a cold sweat, as he stood in front of him, then braced himself on the same chair arms Torune was using, leaned forward and kissed him.

This was terrifying on multiple levels, enough that he didn't give much thought to how this actually felt. Not only that she had indeed made him do this, it wasn't a possibility anymore, it was actually happening, but Shino had never gotten a clear answer from Torune, how much control he had over his beetles, and Lady Natsuki knew this too, was willing to risk this, and the risk would only increase the further they went with. So far so good, at least as far as being infected, because even this felt like a violation, and he'd been wrong, he should have said something, he had made this worse.

When Torune failed to respond, failed to do anything, Shino stayed put, yet crept his hands forward, found Torune's gloves ones, covered them with his, and still Torune did nothing. Shino couldn't tell if this was a brave or foolish, defiant or destined to end in defeat, he himself felt like he was drowning, that the two of the would drown here together, and even though Torune still wanted to fight, wouldn't give in, he would. Lady Natsuki had a whole estate full of hostages, after all, that she had no qualms about using, killing, Shino himself, his life was caught in the balance of this too, and as he had thought before, she didn't care. Didn't care about Torune's pride, his morals, nor Shino's inexperience, this was his first kiss, though he could barely call it that, she had made him do it, just as she now, growing weary of Torune's stillness, needed something bolder to make him move, caused Shino to retreat momentarily, only to kneel down, between Torune's legs, then placed his hands on Torune's belt, until she got the reaction she was looking for, Torune abruptly grabbed his hands, held them tightly.

"Enough." he said stonily. "I'd like to make a deal."

"…She's listening."

"I'll take the lead, if she stops controlling you."

"Are you sure? This will probably be more enjoyable for you both if I take control." Shino heard himself say, yet this was the first time Lady Natsuki had dropped the act, the pretense that he was the one speaking, and the effect was eerie, even to him.

"I imagine it will be terribly awkward, otherwise. You know this is his first time. Anyone really, would be able to assume that correctly. Yet what else can I do? I gave you such a wonderful opportunity to discuss, yet Shino was unable to respond to you, and well, you know at this point, I do not like to be bored, but if you insist, and I must admit, I will be interested to see the result."

"I want proof, I want proof it's not you."

"How do you propose getting it?"

"Shino, kiss me."

"How sweet. True love's first kiss. And you imagine you will know the difference? Alright. Carry on."

Shino again felt when she let go of him, how he sagged against the floor, really sagged right into Torune's lap.

"I'm so sorry, Torune." he managed to whisper, holding onto something else Lady Natsuki had said. He was stalling, he knew that, even Lady Natuski knew that, yet he knew her well enough at this point. He knew she would approve of this too.

"I… if I didn't feel this way about you, she wouldn't be doing this. You would have been spared. I've wondered, sometimes, if this was my punishment, I know you don't feel this way, but I do, this is payment, for letting you take my place. Yet now we're both here. I've spared you from nothing. My teammates are downstairs, and I don't know what she's doing to them…"

"This is no one's fault but hers, Shino. Don't waste your time thinking otherwise." Torune responded, then leaned down, knowing Shino was too tired to rise.

"But I don't want her to hurt you anymore… so I know it's messed up, but kiss me. Least I don't bite."

Somehow, this managed to bring a smile to Shino's face, and when he looked up to Torune, saw a satisfied smile on his face too, but he could not linger long in that respite, knew the clock was ticking, and he slowly leaned up, pressed his lips to Torune's. He was shaky, it was smoother when Lady Natsuki had been controlling him, and he felt self-conscious in a way he hadn't that first time, he was more focused on the aspect of coercion, and that was still here, still present, but he didn't know what to do, how to continue this, so he pulled away quickly.

"Satisfied?" he heard himself speak, again disturbed how seamlessly Lady Natsuki could come in and out. The result of so many feedings.

"Yeah, but I've got couple more, 'requests.'"

"Ask."

"Where's the nearest bedroom?"

"You are in a suite. The door behind you."

"Do you have a gourd?"

"Excuse me?"

"A jug, a vessel, something for Shino to keep his hive in."

"You want to Shino to remove his hive?"

"Yeah. Honestly, I didn't think this would come as a surprise to you."

"Are you going to remove your own? Surely that is more troublesome than Shino's."

"You know about mine. They aren't easily contained. And you didn't care about this much before, when you had him kiss me. Or when you proposed us going to bed, for that matter."

"I believed you would show the necessary restraint. Is that going to be a problem, though? If you cannot do this, I am sure I can think of something else. It would certainly end the drama, if Shino were killed here. Of course, if Shino had managed to succeed with his project, we wouldn't need to be having this discussion."

"Yeah, but you'll have to let me give him something."

"Interesting. There is a cure, or at least some safe-guard, though I must say, your clan has guarded that secret well. Is that why you want him to remove his hive?"

"Part of it."

"What is the other part?"

"Can't you take a guess? But, hell, I guess, what's it matter. It's Shino's first time, he's not going to be able to keep the hive calm. Not to mention he's already exhausted. It will be easier to take them out, I'll give them some of my chakra. Though, does lead me to another big flaw in this plan of yours. You feed on Shino, then this? Requires some blood flow."

"You two are young. I am sure you can manage. Of course, I can supply something for the hive. How about the suit of armor in the corner? I also enjoy the play on words. Armor, amour."

"Kiba would be in stitches, I can tell you that, but yeah, that'll work. So, can we get on with it? We got a deal?"

"By all means. The floor is yours. Though I will add I admire your resolve; you really are going to go through with this. I did not think you would take this route. I know you are capable of committing to a mission, no matter how bloody, yet this is…"

"Stop talking, Lady Natsuki," Torune spoke once more, though that was misleading, since Torune's voice sounded like nothing Shino had ever heard, gravel, rocks clicking together, fed up, the final word, and that alone sent chills down Shino's spine, but that was not all. Torune leaned down, kissed him, and simultaneously felt Lady Natsuki relinquish her hold on him, yet he wasn't sure what weight he was sinking under with that, his exhaustion or his shock, as Torune reached down, gripped him under his thighs, pulled up, Shino realized he wanted him to get on the chair with him, which he did, clumsily, as more of his worst fears, about what Lady Natsuki would do came true. He was doing what she wanted him to, something he wouldn't have done on his accord, yet he was doing it, she wasn't controlling him, only using her leverage of his teammates, Torune, this estate full of victims, to give them some hope, that their lives wouldn't end tonight, that maybe, there could be some way out of here for them too, and yet… he had thought about Torune, wondered about this, who was in control here? He couldn't tell the difference anymore.

Couldn't exactly tell the difference between he and Torune either, as Torune pulled him closer, wrapped an arm around his back, felt the fabric of his robes against his bare skin, tried to steady himself where he was, it was awkward, to be up on his bent knees like this, again felt like his focus was on all the wrong things, but it felt safer to think about those things, not to think about Torune's lips against his own, insistent, for something Shino wasn't sure he knew what or how to give, and if he was already having trouble, Lady Natsuki's words echoing in his mind, that maybe, sometimes a dream is better than reality, that he had been spared from this if Torune didn't return his feelings. Yet here they were, at her behest, at this conjunction of lives and space and time.

He didn't have long to ponder before they were on the move again, Torune standing, basically lifting him up, getting him on his feet, locating the suit of armor, and Shino started to shake, he'd already given up so much here, his blood, control of his body, his voice, the privacy of his thoughts, memories, interactions, what he was about to do with Torune, that the idea of removing his hive – so foreign, so strange even under normal circumstances – something that would give him pause, they were linked to each other, had been since birth, the only time they were removed were when things had gone terribly wrong, grave injury or a terrible health crisis, when an Aburame simply could not support them, they were cared for by others until strength returned, but to have to do that now, in this place he had… suffered so, was about to suffer more, not only himself, but Torune, who he knew was doing this only to… spare Shino further humiliation, of being controlled, giving him the only thing he could under these circumstances, yet if Torune was willing to do that for him, he would do this for him, commanded his hive to leave, they moved quick enough, told them, as best he could, that he would be back for them. Felt empty without them, vulnerable, cold, expected to see his breath in the air, as goosebumps formed on his skin, but he didn't, it wasn't really that cold in here, it was just him.

He looked back to Torune, saw his hands glowing blue with chakra, that he sent into the armor, witnessed his demeanor that gave away nothing, inscrutable as stone. He was focused, on a mission. Shino could tell. Torune had been trained for all sorts of scenarios, in all likelihood, he had even been trained for a scenario like this. To be able to do this without feeling, without remorse, without fear. This was probably easy, compared to the things Torune had had to do. Shino wished he felt the same.

Torune reached into his pack, pulled out a vial, handed it over.

"Drink this."

Shino at any other time would have been curious as to what this was, what it would do, why he had needed to remove his hive, was it poisonous to them? It must be something powerful, to keep the venomous beetles at bay, but now was not the time to talk about that, and he with unsure fingers uncorked the vial, brought it to his lips and swallowed.

The taste alone sent another shudder through him, started coughing. Torune took the vial back from him, returned it to his pack.

"They won't enter you, they hate this stuff, but it won't last for long, so she still want me out front?" Torune asked gruffly.

Shino nodded and Torune started walking, toward the back of the room, no hesitation in his steps, he was no longer stalling, no longer trying to buy time as he opened the door, didn't bother to see whether Shino was behind him, though he was, and Shino took a moment to look around the room he now found himself in.

It wasn't as grand as some of the bedrooms he had seen here, though there was a fireplace, lit, just as the one in the sitting room had been, a four poster bed with curtains, though Shino's attention focused, just as it had in the library, on the wall of windows, the drapes pulled away from them, apparently Torune's focus went there too, as that is where he walked to, stood there a moment. Shino looked out too, at Torune silhouetted against the finely manicured estate, where the lawn met the forest, saw the moon hanging low overhead, the light it was giving off sickly grey.

The moment didn't last long however, Torune turned back to him, grabbed him by the wrist, walked over to the bed, the drapes already pulled to the side, and to Shino's surprise, roughly pushed him onto it. He landed on his stomach, on his chest, but it was only a split second before he felt Torune on the bed too, behind him, grabbing his hips and pulling them up. Shino awkwardly curved his back to accommodate, then lifted himself up and balanced on his forearms, chiding himself throughout. He was always surprised. Why was he surprised, to feel Torune flush against him.

Felt Torune move his hands to his sides, felt them on his waistband, untying his belt, then, in a flash, pulled them and his underwear down in one go. He wanted to cry out then, but stopped himself. He wasn't going to make this any more difficult for Torune than it already was.

Shino could also sense Lady Natsuki's surprise, that this is what Torune intended, yet she was also telling him to indicate the side table, showing a rare restraint by not making him do it herself. Shino pointed at it, didn't trust himself to speak.

Torune leaned forward, kept a hand on Shino's hip though, opened the drawer, pulled something out, Shino couldn't see in this light.

"It's lube, condoms." Torune reported, monotone. "You understand what I'm going to do?"

Thought of how Lady Natsuki had asked him that same question.

"Yes."

"Try to relax, as best you can. I'll do everything else."

Thought of how many times Lady Natsuki had said that to him too.

He realized this was easier, for Torune not to have to look at him, but it scared him not being able to see. Maybe that's why it seemed his hearing was clearer, sharper than it ever had been. Heard the tear of plastic, the click of a lid flipping, waited, until Torune slipped a finger inside. Could tell he had covered it with a condom, used a generous amount of lubricant. As much as he hadn't wanted to, he moved forward slightly, to get away, but he stopped himself, made himself be still, be silent, even when Torune withdrew, only to return with two fingers, spreading.

He failed to keep his pact to himself though, when Torune tried to enter with three, for he moved forward again and continued moving, shifting, couldn't make himself be still anymore. Torune continued on regardless, probably would have kept going if Shino hadn't then cried out.

It was a pitiful sound, so pitiful that it caused Torune to cease what he was doing. Under any other circumstances, Shino thought he would be so ashamed he would have gone silent, yet now, it had the opposite effect. For so long, he had tried to tell himself to just keep going, that he was alright, better off than the others under Lady Natsuki's control, that he had no right to sadness, to grief, that this had happened to him, it was just something to be borne, just as the difficulties of being a shinobi were borne by everyone in the Village, in all the Hidden Villages. He had borne his mother's death, Torune's absence, the deaths of many of his family. If this was reality, it made more sense to him to adapt, not fight, not endlessly argue it, to instead find some meaning in it, to understand how it came to be, to gain wisdom from what was, to learn from the past in hopes of changing the future, for only the future was open. The past was permanently closed.

And he often thought his emotions only clouded, yet he realized something, something he truly had enough evidence to realize before, he just hadn't liked it. If the past was truly closed, he should have had no reaction to seeing Torune again. He should have no reaction to thoughts of his mother, when people told him he looked like her or reminded him of her. If Kiba's father leaving was truly in the past, why did it still bother Kiba to this day? And in extension, why did it bother he and Hinata that Kiba's father had left? Why did it bother he and Kiba that Hinata's father had ill-treated her for so many years, when he no longer continued to do so? For that matter, why was Kiba able to forgive Neji and not Hiashi? The same blood ran through them all, and what was blood, what was genetics, except a memory of the past, being passed endlessly onward and onward towards the future?

The past effects the present, and the present shapes the future. They were not as distinct as Shino wanted them to be, and the blood runs through them all, by the process which he and Torune were currently engaged in. No child could be born of this union, but this is how it was done, the same energy, a similar process. The blood runs through, but Shino didn't have all his blood at the moment, not as much as he was supposed to have, not as much as he needed to function in any high capacity.

And maybe that's why he started crying now, because he'd been so wrong, about it all. He'd wanted to rationalize that this was alright, and something inside of him had been screaming at him that it wasn't, for so long, and he hadn't listened, until it finally forced its way to the surface, and he had no way of pushing it back down. He had no way of making this right. He was desperate enough to try something he had never done, the one thing that by not doing, had earned her respect in their first meeting.

"Please, Lady Natsuki. Have mercy. Please don't make us do this."

He didn't have to, but he actually said this aloud. Torune, in response, or possibly waiting for the response, withdrew. Shino wanted to rationalize it again, because part of him told him, just as he had reasoned at the beginning: this was useless. Why would Lady Natsuki care? And if she did not care, and they had to do this, he tried to tell himself: why did it matter? While he had not been trained as an Anbu, he too was a shinobi. If he just agreed to let Torune do this, it would be over.

But that's what he had been so wrong about, why he bothered to ask, because he finally realized it would not be over. It would ripple outward and onward. It could not be held in the past.

Then he heard her response, she did not make him say it. This was only for him.

"Apologies, darling. I lost my mercy long ago. Long before I met you. Continue."

This answer gave him no peace. It only set him over some edge, some place he had never been before. He pulled his pants up so he could more easily crawl out from under Torune, towards the head of the bed, stopped there as his cries became worse, turned into sobs, and that fact that he wished he could stop, because Torune had agreed to do this himself as a kindness, an act that Shino was now ruining, for surely Lady Natsuki would take control of him if he didn't cooperate, but that only made his sobs that much stronger. He hadn't realized what a painful process sobbing was, as it was not something he had ever done, not like this, not to the point where he was wracked over, curled up, could barely breath. He had to take his goggles off to wipe his eyes, he couldn't bring himself to look at Torune, was sure if he did this would only escalate further.

He took the edge of the blankets, not only because he was suddenly cold, but because he childishly wanted to hide and not be found, not be seen. Probably would have, if Torune hadn't spoken first.

"Shino, call off your hive. Do not take them back in right now. They'll neutralize the effects of the deterrent."

He didn't understand, his hive wasn't with him, they were in the other room, until he heard faint clicking, buzzing, he looked over, and there they were, hanging in the air, waiting for direction. Wanted to know why he was so distressed, were confused. Recognized Torune, but weren't sure if he was a threat to them and Shino right now or not.

At first he tried to use his own link with them, silently will to them Torune was not a threat, do not attack, that they would be harmed if they did so, but he could tell they did not believe him, didn't trust him, this hadn't happened to him since he was a child, when he'd needed his dad's help to send commands to his hive. He had to go back to basics, to saying it aloud.

"Torune isn't a threat. Don't attack Torune. Go back to the suit of armor. I will come back for you. You can't come back to me right now." He commanded, but even as he was saying it, he knew it was no use, his hive wasn't following orders, still didn't believe him, he could tell, they were stressed, they would find him an unsuitable host, they would leave, and this added even more to his grief.

He felt he was going to lose everything he had to lose tonight. He tried one more time. Bringing his arm up, pointing his fingers towards the door.

"Please, return to the armor. I promise, I'll be back for you. Everything's fine. Please…" he trailed off, caught in his own misery, until he heard Torune, as though he was only now picking up his signal, that he'd been broadcasting for awhile now, but Shino was only now receiving it.

"Shino, look at me. Come on, baby, look at me."

Shino did. Torune smiled, took off his goggles once again, just like the last time he'd asked Shino to look at him, and somehow it did help, to see the blue, not the black.

"Hey, can I come over to you?"

Shino nodded, wasn't really sure why, but he did. Torune approached him slowly, like he was a wounded animal, and Shino belatedly realized that wasn't inaccurate. Torune didn't come over right away, first he asked.

"Let me help, alright? Like when we were kids." Torune said, and held his hand up, was a hand sign.

"Lady Natsuki's got your memories right? She knows what I want to do? That I'm not trying to get away or do something?"

Shino checked to make sure she did, and she did, so Shino nodded, and Torune came forward, took up one of Shino's hands, matched his hand sign to his, said the names of the signs aloud. All Aburame had a contract, a bond to their hive, but sometimes, contracts could be combined, to have joint control over a hive, or joint control over multiple hives, at least temporarily. It had many practical applications, it was really the best way for their young to learn how to control a hive in the first place, with someone's else's guiding hand. It could be done in battle, to add to another's strength or if one was incapacitated and needed assistance caring for a hive, or even if the hive itself needed assistance, to get another hands on opinion of what the problem could be. But there was another reason people did this. It was quite personal, sometimes friends would do this for the fun of it, the companionship of it; sometimes lovers did too, for the intimacy of it, and he could feel that immediately with Torune, could sense Torune's venomous beetles in communication with him, and now with Shino too, how different they felt from his own, a different personality, could tell they were not keen on this, didn't trust Shino entirely, knew that he was not a user of them, didn't like being in such close proximity to him after he had taken the repellant, and he could feel his own hive turn its attention to Torune, wary as well.

Could feel Torune telling his own hive to calm down, that they were fine, to trust him, everything was under control, and then, surreally, of Torune communicating to Shino's hive the same thing, adding to go back to the other room, they would be safe, and that Torune was also guaranteeing that Shino was safe, safe from him, and safe from his beetles, but reiterating they could not return to him right now, to go back to the suit of armor, they would be safe there, and they would be taken back in shortly.

Could feel his own hive in communication with Torune, telling him that Shino was not in good physical condition, wanting to know when he would be better. Felt Torune let them know he was aware of that, but that Shino's condition wasn't life-threatening. Some food, drink and sleep would be enough. Seemingly satisfied, his hive left, returned to the other room and hopefully to the suit of armor.

Torune took his hand once again, repeated the hand signs in reverse, and then the contract was severed, Shino no longer felt Torune's hive, no longer felt Torune connected to his.

"Come up for a second, let's go to the bathroom, clean you up a bit."

Shino nodded mutely, took Torune's hand when he offered it, let him lead him over. As he was washing his face, Torune spoke.

"Shino, did you ever think about doing this with me, before this?"

"Not in much detail." he answered honestly, which drew a smile from Torune.

"Yeah, can't say I'm surprised, but if this was the only time, if you knew we were both going to die tomorrow, how would you want this to go? And do you want to do it that way instead?"

He thought of Hinata and her uncle and her cousin finding their way to freedom, Torune telling him why he went to Anbu Root, of Hinata and Kiba at the pond, those ideas of free-will and choice, that he had never been able to come to terms with, then answered with a question of his own.

"… Did you think about doing this with me?"

"Yeah."

"Then that way would be nice."

Surely most of this wouldn't have been as Torune had envisioned – Shino, despite not being deathly ill, did not look at all well. He actually looked worse than when Lady Natsuki had awoken him: the dark circles under his eyes, his grey skin, clammy, he was dizzy, exhausted, had needed assistance commanding his own hive, his neck looked grotesque, nevertheless, he could still say what he needed to say.

"I know I can't prove it to you, that this is me, but I accept. I accept the gift. I… I love you, Torune."

Torune took a step forward, gripped Shino's hip, before saying "I believe you. Love you too. My feelings haven't changed."

Being this close, their feet lined up together, Shino tried to take a step backward, but he only backed up into the sink, and Torune followed him even that short distance, stood in front of him and pressed him back into it, put his forehead on his, on his headband, actually, he still it on, could feel the heat from him, being this close, felt it more when Torune moved his other hand to his other hip, kept his face close, he didn't seem to want to kiss him yet, at least as far as Shino could tell, not that he had much confidence in his observations in this. He wondered if Torune was waiting for him, or trying to encourage him, he kept moving his head ever so slightly, rolling one way, then the other, their noses would touch, causing Shino to move his ever so slightly as well, to give pressure back, adjust his head in turn.

In his fatigued state, it reminded him of waves, swimming, being pulled this way and that, reminded of what Kiba said, fight the current and drown, or go with its pull and live to fight another day. Though of something else too, something Lady Natsuki had said, for there was one other response that confused him here, he could feel his heart rate quickening, his breathing rising and falling faster, wondered if Torune felt it too, thought maybe he did when leaned in and kissed him, and Shino was glad to have the sink to lean against, he already wasn't steady on his feet and this only further destabilized him. He needed to use his arms to balance, so he tentatively reached forward and gripped Torune's waist, felt Torune smile when he did so, then felt the smile fade as Shino progressively had to put more and more weight on him.

Torune pulled away, and Shino stepped forward with him, needing his support to stand, but also, and this surprised him, because he wanted him close, to stay close. Torune kept him at a brief distance, only to lean down, and in one swift motion lifted him onto his shoulder, gripped him behind the legs and started walking.

He knew it was illogical to be embarrassed by this, considering what Torune had seen of him earlier on the bed, the same bed they were now heading, the same one Torune pushed him down onto earlier, the same one he dropped him onto now, felt the mattress give underneath him, was expecting it, waiting for it to give more when Torune got on, but it didn't, so Shino looked over.

He knew Torune's clothing was designed to be removed quickly, he shouldn't have been so surprised that Torune had already removed the top half of his outfit in this short amount of time, shouldn't have been surprised to see Torune without it at all, in this context or otherwise, he'd seen Torune without it plenty of times, but he looked different, here and now, bare chested with his robes hanging from his waist in the firelight, his gloves discarded on the floor along with his mask, was shocked, literally shocked, to feel Torune's bare skin against his when the bed did dip down with his weight, and found even laying down he was still dizzy, still felt he needed to grip something for support, reached up again, tentatively, wrapped his arms around Torune's shoulders, felt Torune once again smile against his lips, once again felt the smile fade, but this time it turned into something else, and it was once again in response to something Shino did, it felt just as involuntary, he did it because he still felt like he was going to fall, was still putting too much weight on Torune, asking him to hold him up, this time bringing one of his legs up, wrapping it around Torune's lower back. This time, the smile changed into something more intense, more primal, could feel Torune's teeth against his lips, then felt him pull away, grab his hips and roll him over onto his stomach, once again.

Knew what was coming, but then it didn't happen. Only felt Torune reach around and under to grip Shino's hand, and made the hand sign, the first that would initiate the linking of contracts, but this was only a gesture, no chakra behind it, only a message, to accompany what Torune whispered in his ear.

"Let's do that again, another time, okay? I liked it."

It was difficult to describe, what this meant, would have meant at any time – just as Lady Natsuki earlier said about the merger of beetles, this merger of contracts, how could an outsider truly appreciate, understand, what that was to an Aburame – to share their hive, an ever present aspect of their life, a contract entered at in birth, that outsiders at best accepted, most were terrified at even the idea of it, not only terrified at even the idea of it, but of insects in general, but especially for Torune to say this right now, before they… a collision of inner worlds, it shook him enough that he stumbled when he tried to answer.

"Would… do you think your hive would like me any better a second time?"

"Ch. They've got a bad-temper, those guys. Always have. But underneath, they're alright. Me and them, had a rocky start, but we've gotten fond of each other… I liked talking to yours. They were just worried about you, you know that right? That's why they didn't believe you. They were looking out for you, wanted to make sure you were okay before they went back."

"Thank you for talking to them, for giving them chakra."

In lieu of answering, Torune with on hand threaded his fingers through Shino's hair, unknotting his headband in the process, let it fall to the side, and with the other, tilted his head to the side. Shino wondered if once again Torune was waiting for him, waiting for some sign to proceed, so when Torune pulled away, Shino reached to his waist, started pushing his pants down, to his surprise Torune stopped him, reached instead for the blankets, and… he couldn't help it, had a quick thought that Torune was stalling now, but it didn't take long for both of them to get under, for Shino to once again pull his pants down, Torune helped him get them off his ankles this time, and then thought he must have just imagined it, when Torune grabbed the supplies from the nightstand.

Then, everything changed, quickly, mind-numbingly quick. Really, he could barely process what had been happening before, that when it abruptly changed course, he was on delay, processing it. First, he belatedly realized, he'd had a seal placed on him, could feel it on his back now, and he couldn't move. Torune held him down anyway, seemingly to make sure, that Lady Natsuki couldn't counteract this, and that would have been news enough, but there was more. Flashes in his vision, a bizarre ringing in his ears, at first distant, then getting closer, like the whistle of a train approaching, and then all of the sudden passing, along with a burning surge of energy through his system and then… nothing.

Just… nothing.