A/N: Hello lovely readers! Thank you all for the kind reviews. Needless to say, I wasn't ready to finish this story yet :) Hope you enjoy this next chapter!

*the middle of this chapter is rated M for some over-the-top Jaddison "fluff" lol*

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.


Chapter 11

"Organic Chemistry, Physics II, Multivariable Calculus, Conversational French, Introduction to the Modern European Novel, uh...Tennis…"

"You took all those classes in one semester?"

"Yes. My textbooks that fall cost as much as a small car, but I wanted to graduate in three and a half years, and I was interested in all of them."

"It sounds overwhelming."

"It was."


February 2012

Los Angeles, California

"Three times."

"Three times?" Addison gaped at her friend incredulously, pushing herself slowly back and forth on the Santa Monica beach park swing. "I hate you."

Violet smirked, leaning against the swing set pole.

"Yes, well, I would hate me too."

Addison glanced over at her friend, equal parts excited and equal parts jealous. It was no secret that both she and Violet had been leading complicated lives in the men + sex department lately, and Addison had been caught between a rock and a hard place with Sam and Jake. On the one hand, she had so much history with Sam, and she had spent the better part of two years convincing herself he was the one for her. On the other, Addison wanted a baby more than anything, and Sam...didn't. He didn't want a baby with her, and that broke her heart. And Jake was...Jake. Kind, smart, understanding. She knew he would do anything for her and more importantly, never judge her for her past. And then there was everything she told him that night in Palm Springs...

Still, a small part of her did hate her friend for getting a hunky guy into bed before she could.

"But look at you now!" Addison smiled, shoving all thoughts aside. "You're all 'Violet got her groove back.'"

"Yeah, who would have thought my groove was in this 20-something paramedic with these abs carved out of marble," Violet gushed, falling into the swing next to Addison. "And this back...oh my god, his back."

"Seriously," Addison replied. "It's like you ordered him like you called up a catalog and asked for these exact specifications. I want that catalog."

More specifically, that catalog with Jake on the cover?

"You know, I have never done this before," Violet continued. "The whole casual sex thing. Just pure, mind-numbing sex. And now that Pete and I are officially separated, maybe he was right; maybe I have some of my own 'wild oats' to sew after all. Maybe 'no strings attached' works."

Addison sighed, looking down at her black pencil skirt and burying her pedicured toes in the sand.

"You know I wish I could say you're right," she said. "I mean don't get me wrong I'm happy for you, I am, it's just...every time I sleep with someone—or even try to sleep with someone—it's like we end up in this pit of despair. Stuck."

Violet laughed. "Stop it."

"I'm serious!" Addison replied, as Lucas—Violet and Pete's almost-three year old son—ran up to them from the slide. "All of this just makes me miss-"

"Sam?" Violet asked, pulling her son onto her lap.

"No," Addison finished. "I mean it was never going to work...we didn't want the same things and all he was doing was making me feel guilty for wanting a child. A family. No it's good he's moving on and I'm...trying to move on. You know the irony has been that the harder I tried to have a baby, the less I actually had sex. It's been months." She exhaled. "Which is probably why I threw myself at Jake."

"Excuse me?!" Violet said incredulously, as Lucas tried to show her his toy dinosaur all covered in sand.

"Yeah," Addison admitted. "In Palm Springs a couple days ago. I drank a bunch of martinis and the next thing you know I wound up in his bed."

And telling him a bunch of things I probably shouldn't have, she wanted to add. Things Violet, who had arguably become her best friend in LA since Naomi left, didn't even know.

"Addison…" Violet continued to stare at her expectantly, and Addison half-expected her to go into shrink mode until a familiar voice interrupted them.

"Addison?"

Addison spun around. From the bike path stood Dr. Alina Levin dressed in a tank top and shorts—head-to-toe athletic gear—with hands on her hips and breathing heavily.

"Oh!" Addison stood up probably quicker than she should have. It had been less than 24 hours since the girl's mother had come to Addison's house, telling her about Alina's past and sharing things that not only made Addison a little uncomfortable but confused as to what they had to do with her. Left her flustered. "Hi! What are you doing here?"

Alina walked over to them, shielding her face from the sun glare.

"Oh it's my day off," she replied. "Whenever I'm not on call I like to come down here to run. You know, the view, the sound of the ocean. Can't beat it. Also, my parents are in town and this gives me an excuse to avoid my mother." She chuckled lightheartedly, but based on their previous talks, Addison knew she had good reason to. "Hi, I'm Dr. Levin but you can call me Alina." Alina stuck her hand out to Violet, introducing herself. "I think we worked a case together at the hospital a few weeks ago."

"Oh! Right," Addison interjected. "Violet, Dr. Levin is one of the new emergency medicine fellows at St. Ambrose. Alina, Violet is our psychiatrist at Seaside Wellness."

"Oh that's right," Violet said. "I remember a fellow working on Joanna's case." A wave of sadness passed over the three of them, remembering the battered woman who had come into the ER and inevitably lost her baby. "Well it's nice to officially meet you," Violet smiled, shaking it off. "Have you been here long?"

"I moved a few months ago but started at St. Ambrose in January," Alina said. "I did my residency in pediatrics back in Boston but as soon as I found out about this new program I was definitely intrigued. I love kids, so anything to make my service to them as good as it can be."

Addison felt herself falling back into that trance, of watching her, feeling something so familiar yet so...undefinable...she could never quite put her finger on it.

"Well I think that's great," Violet said. "Dr. King is actually a member of our practice so we work with St. Ambrose quite a bit. So if you ever find yourself needing a psych consult…"

"I'll remember that, thank you," Alina nodded.

"So, um," Addison cleared her throat. "Any plans for the rest of your day off?"

"Well, of course Mother has her list of places she wants to see, restaurants she wants to try. Thankfully my papa's pretty easy going so we pretty much let her drag us around if it means we get to spend time together."

Suddenly, little Lucas interjected. "Ook," ("look") he said, looking up at Alina and showing her his toy dinosaur.

"Wow, is that your toy dinosaur?" she grinned, kneeling down in front of him.

"Yep!" he smiled proudly.

"And what's your name, little man?"

"Oocas!"

"This is my son Lucas," Violet corrected gently.

"It's very nice to meet you Lucas! My name is Alina. How old are you?"

"Dis," Lucas replied, holding up two fingers.

"Two years old?" Alina smiled. "Such a little grown up, already."

"And in a few more months we will have officially made it out of the Terrible Two's unscathed," Violet added. "You have kids?"

"I don't," Alina replied. "Not yet anyway. But I grew up an only child so you know, I'm just waiting for the day I can have three or four little ones running around. Just have to find the man first," she joked.

Violet chuckled. "Well I wish you the best of luck with that. Most of the time I have my hands full with just the one."

Meanwhile Addison felt a lump form in her throat, watching the scene play out. Wishing she could have a child on her lap to introduce to a new friend. Hear the sounds of little feet running around her house. Even "have her hands full with just the one."

As if she could sense her emotions, Violet glanced at her sympathetically. But Addison just nodded, signaling she was fine; of course Alina would have no clue about Addison's desperate attempts to have a child.

"Pay wif me?" Lucas asked Alina, squirming to get off his mother's lap. Play with me?

Alina glanced up at Violet to double check. Violet nodded.

"I would love to," Alina smiled at the toddler before sitting down on the sand to take off her running shoes. Glancing down at her, Addison noticed a small butterfly tattoo atop her left foot, and wondered to herself what it could mean.

"Slide! Slide!" Lucas shouted, running toward the jungle gym and signaling for Alina to follow.

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" she called after him, running barefoot through the sand.

"She seems nice," Violet noted, the two of them once again swinging back and forth.

"Yeah, she does," Addison breathed.

"You okay?" Violet asked. "I know that was a lot of baby talk just there."

"No, no I'm fine," Addison reassured her. "It's good to talk about stuff like that, with people who…"

"Addison," Violet stopped her. "Have you ever thought maybe it's not time to give up yet? I mean lots of people go through multiple rounds of IVF, adoptions can take time…"

"Now you sound like Jake," Addison chuckled.

"Well is he wrong?"

"I guess not. I'm just tired, Violet," she sighed. "I'm tired."

She watched Lucas and Alina playing in the distance. The toddler shouted "again!" after going down the slide on her lap.

Silently, Violet reached out to take her hand.

"I know."

The two women sat in quiet understanding until the sound of Violet's phone pinging snapped them out of it. Addison's eyes had been on Alina the entire time as she chased little Lucas around the playground; the sound of their laughter, Lucas' shrieks after Alina caught him and tickled him to the ground, how easily she formed a bond with him. The sight filled her heart with warmth.

"Ah shoot," Violet mutters, standing up. "I gotta get Lucas back to daycare. Got a patient coming in a half an hour."

"Yeah, I should probably be going too," Addison said less-than-convincingly. If anything, watching Lucas and Alina only made her ache for a child even more, and while that ache hurt, at least for these few precious moments she could listen to their laughter, pretend they belonged to her.

"Lucas!" Violet called out. "We gotta get going, bud!"

"'Lina fun, Mama!" the toddler grinned, running up to her with Alina close behind, once again breathing heavily.

"Patients?" she asked.

"You know the drill," Violet replied, bending over to pick up her son.

"Thanks for playing with me, Lucas," Alina smiled at him, leaning forward with her hands on her knees. "You certainly have a lot of energy."

"Tell me about it," Violet groaned.

"'Lina fun!" Lucas repeated.

"Well, you certainly left an impression on him," Addison interjected awkwardly.

"Yeah, well," Alina shrugged. "He makes it easy. Huh?" She grinned at him again slipping her running shoes back on. "Are you headed back to the office too, Addison?"

"Yeah but I think I might walk a little bit first," Addison replied. "You know, fresh air, sunshine, all that good stuff."

All that good stuff? Who even are you? Addison mentally chided herself.

"Oh, well do you mind if I join you?" Alina asked.

"Sure!" Addison blurted, after a slightly-too-long awkward pause.

"Okay then we will leave you to it," Violet announced.

The three women exchanged 'see you laters' before Addison and Alina set off down the bike path.

"You wanna walk by the water?" Alina asked, seconds later.

"Oh, um, sure," Addison replied. "You know in all my years of working here I don't think I've ever taken my afternoon walk along the beach."

Alina slipped back out of her shoes, and Addison her heels. Addison caught a glimpse of Alina's butterfly tattoo again, and once again held back the urge to ask her what it meant.

"I just love the way the sand feels between my toes," Alina said dreamily. "Did you know sand is a natural exfoliant?" She looked at Addison as the two made their way down to the beach, toward the Santa Monica Pier.

"I...did know that, yes," Addison nodded. "While I was growing up my parents owned a house out on Martha's Vineyard, and my older brother and I would spend hours swimming and running around the beach. I'm honestly surprised I didn't grow up perpetually sunburned."

Addison paused, wanting to hit herself for how casually she mentioned her parents' house on the Vineyard. How bougey and privileged she must sound. "God, I'm sorry, I must sound so pretentious…"

Alina chuckled. "No, I think that sounds wonderful. And hey I lived in New England; I know how it is. No judgment here."

"Have you ever been?"

"A few times," Alina nodded. "During primary school, my best friend's parents would go for summer holiday; I'd go with them sometimes." She paused, exhaling. "And then with Edward…"

Addison swallowed. She remembered that name, the name of the ex-fiancé Alina told her about, the one who broke her wrist.

"Oh," Addison breathed. "I'm sorry, we don't have to…"

"Oh no it's fine," Alina reassured her. "Thankfully I spent more time out there with Tash so it's not completely ruined for me."

Tash must have been the best friend.

"Well that's good," Addison concluded. "Where um...where else did you vacation as a kid?"

"Around Europe mostly," Alina said. "Since we lived in Russia throughout my secondary school years. I absolutely love Paris. And Munich. My parents had me start learning French and German when I was five, so I love exploring the cities and just getting lost in the culture. My papa always said you can never really understand a culture until you learn the language; he was definitely right."

"So you speak...how many languages?" Addison chuckled.

"Five. Well, no. Four and a half. Didn't start in on Spanish until undergrad at Vassar, once I knew I definitely wanted to go to medical school and stay living in the States. But otherwise English, Russian, French, and German. French is probably my favorite though - I don't know why, it just always stuck better than the other ones. And Russian is just all over the place. If my parents weren't natives I honestly don't think I'd give it the time of day."

Addison laughed. "I can't even imagine. My parents and I barely even communicated in English. But French was always my favorite too."

"Oh, vraiment?" Alina asked, in a perfect accent.

"Oui," Addison grinned. "Although I'm still waiting for the day when it'll come in handy as a doctor in Los Angeles."

"Very true," Alina chuckled.

By this point, they had walked underneath the Pier and continued south.

"Um," Alina pointed out. "Not that I'm in a hurry to cut this short or anything, but isn't your office in the other direction?"

"Sometimes I like to walk to the Venice Boardwalk and back," Addison shrugged. "And my next patient isn't for another couple of hours. So I'm good to keep going if you are."

Alina met her gaze and smiled. "I'd like that."

"So tell me, how do you really like LA?" Addison asked. "Because don't get me wrong I've been here almost five years and it's definitely a step up from where I was, but I remember the first few months after moving here just being so...all over the place. Not really knowing anyone besides Sa- Dr. Bennett and his ex-wife, who was actually my best friend from med. school. I think I moved here trying to start over, but also kind of running away, and I don't think I really realized that until I actually got here."

Alina dragged her feet in through the sand. "I...can definitely relate to about 90 percent of that," she admitted. "Especially the running away part. The 'not knowing people' thing is okay for the most part...I kind of wanted a fresh start in that sense, and my best friend and I still talk all the time. And I like living alone. But yeah, you're right; there'll always be that part of me that knows she probably wouldn't be here if her ex didn't…" She paused.

"But!" She snapped out of it. "I am quite enjoying the whole 'walking on the beach in a tank top and shorts in February' bit. After so many years of St. Petersburg and New England winters, I think that alone is enough to make me stay here forever."

"Definitely," Addison agreed. "I remember one winter in New York during med. school we got about a foot of snow in 12 hours. But, you know, the east coast being the east coast, they only cancelled classes for one day, so we had to figure out how to get to class when only the subway was running and nobody could really drive anywhere. I fell into a snowbank and twisted my ankle about ten minutes into the walk from my house."

Alina laughed. "Hold up, I think I remember that storm. What winter was that?"

"Winter of…'89 I think," Addison recalled.

"No kidding!" Alina smiled. "That was the last winter we lived in New York before moving to St. Petersburg. I think it might have been one of the only times I was ever mad at my father as a child because my best friend had spent the night and he wouldn't let us go outside and play in it. In hindsight that was probably the right decision given the wind was blowing a thousand miles an hour, but when you're six and want to build a snowman, it's basically the end of the world."

Addison smiled. "Well then, apparently this isn't the first time we've had a city in common."

"Small world." Alina looked at her again.

Addison felt her heart skip a beat, looking into those ocean eyes. "Yeah," she breathed. "It is."

"Although I suppose that's a good thing," Alina continued. "If you've managed to stay in LA for five years and not completely hate it, then there must be hope for me. Do you ever miss the east coast, or your family or anything?"

"Well actually," Addison chuckled. "Believe it or not, I lived in a trailer on a few acres of land outside Seattle for the better part of a year before moving here."

"You're not serious," Alina interjected. "I mean don't get me wrong I love nature and camping and all that, but in the brief time I've known you I really can't picture you living in a trailer. No offense intended."

"Oh none taken," Addison said with a wave of the hand. "Lets just say the man I was married to at the time took on a bit of an 'outdoorsman' identity after we left New York." She intentionally left out the part where she cheated on him and that was why they left New York in the first place. She had learned to let go of the shame, but that didn't mean she wanted this new, well, potentially friend to know her full laundry list of mistakes.

"So when I was there, there was definitely a lot I missed about New York," she continued. "Central Park, the brownstones, how alive everything felt...but now I think I'm pretty settled here. My family was never...well aside from my older brother I was never really close with them. After giving up the baby for adoption my mother and I never really saw eye-to-eye on anything else."

Another mistake she intentionally left out.

"I remember you mentioning that after that case with Joanna," Alina said. "I'm sorry. You deserved better."

"Well…" Addison paused. "Thank you."

Alina nudged a small rock with her tattooed foot.

"Can I ask-?" Addison started. "What inspired the tattoo?"

"Oh, this?" Alina held up her left foot. "I got it about a week after I turned 18 during my sophomore year of college. I um...well like I told you before I'm adopted, and one spring when I was about eight, my mother and I got in this fight. Or rather, I talked she yelled. I had to do a family tree assignment for school, so I asked her who my birth parents were. My best friend was adopted too and her parents had always been open about where she came from, but I never had any clue. My mother has a temper but you know, I figured it was a reasonable question to ask, considering it was for a homework assignment. She...didn't agree so much.

I remember running out of the house to the park down the street and sitting on the swing for hours," she continued. "That's usually where I went to process since my mother hated crying even more than she loved yelling, but I think that day was really when I started thinking about my birth mother. I mean I had thought about her before, but I guess my mother's insane reaction made her seem so much more real to me. Like that she could be out there somewhere, living and breathing, with red hair like mine, or with eyes like mine. I started wondering if I had ever met anyone who had known her, or seen her."

Addison listened intently.

"All I knew about my birth mother was that she was American, and completely on the other side of the world from me. I looked up and wondered if we even saw the same stars at night. Then a couple of butterflies flew by, and I guess in my small mind I believed that if they really wanted to, they could fly away far enough to find her, since I couldn't. Anyway," she exhaled. "That's why I got the butterfly."

"Wow," Addison breathed, wishing she had something more profound to say. "Have you um, have you had any luck finding her?"

"No." Alina shook her head. "I tried last fall but...no real leads. Then I came here. What about you though?" she asked. "You ever think about having another kid?"

Addison had to swallow the lump that re-appeared in her throat. If only Alina knew how hard she had tried.

"All the time," she managed. "I um, I wanted to, with my ex-husband, but we got married in med. school and he was always too focused on his career. Then after the divorce, I wanted to give it a try on my own, but...I can't. I have like two eggs left or whatever, and then the adoption process was a whole other mess in itself, so apparently, that was the universe's way of saying you had your shot and you blew it."

Alina looked at her sympathetically. They had almost reached the Boardwalk and had paused next to the water.

"Look, I'm usually the first person to say not everyone is fit to be a parent," Alina said. "Mr. and Mrs. Hitler could have watched TV that night. Alexandra Levin probably could have passed up the opportunity. But for what it's worth, with your heart and determination, I think any kid would be lucky to have you as a mom."

Addison sighed. "I don't know...I'd probably manage to screw them up before they even hit kindergarten."

"Oh come on!" Alina nudged her as they began walking again. "You save babies for a living. I should think that automatically makes you equipped to raise one."

"Well...thanks," Addison smiled awkwardly.

"If there's anything I've learned recently it's that we do not get unlimited chances to have the things we want," Alina admitted. "And everyone should have a chance to have the things they want."

This, Addison knew.


Present Day

March 2012

Los Angeles, California

The pain in Alina's head was nothing compared to the pounding in her chest. Her best friend Natasha sat at her side and held her hand as she awoke from her second surgery in under 24 hours, yet as much as she loved her for it, it wasn't Tash who caught her attention.

Instead it was the flash of red hair.

"Tash?" she rasped, just lucid enough to hope for her friend to confirm what her heart already knew.

"Yeah, yeah it's me," Natasha cried. "You just came out of surgery, and you did so good. You did so good. You're gonna get better and...I'm never gonna let this happen to you again, I promise."

Let what happen again? Alina wanted to ask. She had very little memory of the last few days. But she shoved the thought aside; all she needed to know, was right in front of her.

"But Leens, I," Natasha continued. "I have someone here I think you'll really want to meet."

"Who is it?" Alina whispered.

The woman she knew to be Addison stepped forward.

In that moment, and for the first time in her life, Alina saw the domino effect; every moment, big or small, happy or sad, every success and every failure, every move and every school and every degree, all of them led to her. Right now.

Addison sat on the bed opposite Natasha, her smooth hands enveloping Alina's, filling her cold, clammy body with warmth and protection.

Alina's eyes filled with tears as she mouthed the words: "Super Mom."

She noticed Addison's eyes—a matching ocean green she was just noticing for the first time—were swimming. And as she nodded, the tears spilled over, speaking a truth louder than any words ever could.

"I wanted it to be you," Alina choked. "I wanted it to be you so badly."

She felt a soft hand on her cheek, rubbing soft circles. Except this time it was not the woman who was Addison, it was the woman who was her mother.

"You found her, Leens," Natasha choked in the background, smiling through her tears. "She's here."

Alina looked at her friend, trying to communicate 500 different things with just one glance. All of their childhood memories together, playing pretend, wondering where Super Mom was and what she was doing. And now she was here.

"I think I'm gonna go find your doctor." Natasha composed herself. "Give you two a minute." She leaned forward and kissed Alina's forehead, whispering: "don't worry, I double checked. She's a good one."

Alina had to smile, knowing full well how protective her best friend was of her. But as soon as Natasha left the room, all that existed to Alina was Addison.

"How-?" she managed.

How did you find me? How did you know?

Addison reached forward to touch Alina's face again, and she relished in it. With what little strength she had, Alina lifted her right arm to do the same, as if the feel of Addison's warm cheek could prove she was real, and not some anesthesia-induced dream. Alina felt so many features alike to her own; chin, nose, cheekbones. How she didn't see it before, she'd never know.

"I um," Addison choked. "After you told me you'd been adopted out of New York I went back there, to look for you. I think a part of me already knew, but I had to be sure. I found my father's old patient files in our house in Connecticut, and…" Addison tried to compose herself. "I found mine. And your name, right next to it."

"How long have you known?" Alina managed.

"Only a few days," Addison replied. "I wanted to tell you, so badly, but I was afraid. I didn't want to hurt you. I went over to your house the other night to…" Addison took a deep breath. "But then I found you."

Alina knew this part of the story. She remembered waking up here in the hospital what felt like moments ago, hearing Addison tell her she was unconscious.

Alina exhaled, slowly feeling more alert as she grabbed hold of Addison's hand. "My whole life I've wondered what I would say to you if I ever met you. I've always put you up on this pedestal, like a superhero. And now I get to find out," she began to cry. "You are."

"Oh, sweetheart." Addison wiped away tears. "I'm so sorry. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, and healthy, and to have a good life...I never wanted you to get hurt." In more maternal affection than Alina had seen in her entire life, Addison wiped away her tears. The action in itself made Alina cry harder. "Alina I...I've wanted you since the day you were born, and when they took you from me...I should have done more. I should have gone after you. But I was so young and, sweetheart I'm so sorry. I have loved you your whole life, and if you'll have me, I promise I'll stop loving you. I know, I know you have your life and your family, but if you ever need me, I can be here. I'll never let anyone hurt you again."

Alina was unable to formulate words. A lifetime's worth of emotions crashed through her like a tidal wave; some resentful, but mostly relief, happiness, and love. She knew Addison was 16 when she had her. Just a kid who had her baby ripped away from her. There was only so much she could have done. Not to mention how easy it was for Alina to imagine her mother doing the same thing, had she been in a similar position.

"I think," Alina cried, taking a breath between each word. "A part of me always knew when I needed you most, you'd be here. But I...I do have one question. Did you see the butterflies too?"

"Yes honey," Addison whispered, understanding. "I did."

Addison's sobs pulled her forward, and as if by subconscious instinct, Alina opened her arms for her, allowing herself to melt into the older woman's gentle embrace as they cried together. Two women, so lost for so long, finally together. The missing puzzle piece.

Addison stroked her hair as Alina closed her eyes, letting her soothe the slight throb that still pulsed through the left side of her head.

"My baby girl," she heard Addison whisper against her forehead. "You grew up so beautiful."

Whether this was the sobbing six year old little girl inside of her knelt over the floor, trying not to cry while bleeding over a broken vase, or the eight year old who ran down the block to the park after the first time her mother hit her, Alina would never know. Still, she felt just like a child craving a mother's love as she tilted her head upwards and nuzzled her nose against Addison's neck, breathing in her scent. Vanilla, lavender, and something else she couldn't quite place yet.

Alina would soon learn that the scent was home.


"Jake!"

The sound of her voice from down the hospital hallway stopped him in his tracks. He had just returned after giving himself a few hours to sleep once Addison got settled in Alina's room late that morning. As much as he had wanted to be there for her, and recognizing all that she was going through, he also knew she would need her space with Alina, and if he didn't allow himself rest there was no way he could care for her the way he wanted. The way she deserved. And walking around the hospital like a zombie was not going to cut it.

Instead, he found himself at her house, making sure everything was clean and in its place, and leaving fresh flowers on the dining room table. To make sure she had something beautiful to look at when she got home.

Jake spun around, noticing Addison jogging toward him, dressed in dark jeans and a light sweater. Effortlessly beautiful.

She reached him and with a big smile on her face, immediately grabbed hold of his hand, dragging him with her.

"Whoa, where are we going?" he chuckled.

Addison didn't answer, instead pulling him into the nearest on-call room and shutting the door.

"Addison-" he started, but she silenced him by pressing her lips against his. Running her hands through his hair. For a second he let himself get lost in the kiss, in her. The fact that she was everything he had ever wanted.

"Mmm, Addison," he stopped her, pulling back. Still, she kept her hands around his neck, stroking his hair. Right away he noticed how tired she looked, despite the devil-may-care attitude she currently possessed. "What happened? Are you okay?"

She just kissed him again, pressing her body up against his as they stood in the middle of the room.

"I told her," she grinned. "I told Alina. She knows who I am and I know who she is." She kissed him again. "And she's happy, and I'm happy. And I love her and she loves me. Oh, she's so perfect." Jake felt his heart skip a beat, watching the way her eyes sparkled, how effortlessly happy she looked for the first time since he'd known her.

Jake held her face in his hands, catching a tear with his thumb. Again he tried not to notice the bags under her eyes, or how much she needed sleep. "And you're sure you're okay?"

"Oh Jake," she beamed. "I'm so good. I have Alina, and she's alive and awake and here...and I have you, and I love you, and we can get married, or have a baby, and oh honey, everything just seems so possible now-"

Jake couldn't take it anymore. He knew this was hardly the time or place, but he had held back for so long when it came to Addison, or women in general really—always wanting to be the sensible guy, never putting his needs first—and he just couldn't do it anymore. He knew she was the one. She was it for him. She was the love of his life.

He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, crashing his lips into hers, feeling her tongue begging for entrance in his mouth. He moans slightly against her lips before taking her by surprise and lifting her off the ground.

Addison giggled as he carried her toward the bed. Her eyes bore into his as he hovered over her, felt her body curling into his; a perfect fit. He slowed things down just enough to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I have loved you since the day I met you, Addison Forbes Montgomery," he whispered.

Now let me prove it to you.

She stroked his hair some more, and he watched the lines form around her eyes as she smiled, an image he never wanted to forget.

"Come here," she beckoned, leaning upward to kiss him again.

Before Jake knew it, they were even hungrier for each other. His lips left a trail down her neck and collarbone as he carefully pulled the sweater over her head, exposing her chest, and leaving him so distracted he barely even noticed the remainder of their clothing coming off until she had a hold of him. He was more than ready for her.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered down at her, unable to take his eyes off of her perfect shape. He was desperate to pleasure her, and he made this known by sneaking his hand down, rubbing a torturous pattern along her thighs and center.

She tilted her head back, releasing a groan from deep in her throat.

"Oh, Jake…"

The sound of his name from her lips drove him wild. He watched as she moaned with each breath, holding her close as she came apart in his arms for the very first time.

She wrapped her legs tightly around him, her face stuck in a post-coital smile as he entered her. Their intensity grew with each movement, all those months of holding back, the heartache of watching her pine after another man, and then of watching her get hurt yet again. Except he would never hurt her, and he knew this to be true.

Jake leaned down to rest his forehead against hers, staring into her sparkling ocean green eyes. He wanted to really see her. He felt the heat begin to pool in his stomach and he knew they were close; she rose up to meet him, a smile gracing her lips once more as they came together. He collapsed onto her chest, breathing heavily as she ran her fingernails over his back.

"Oh," he breathed.

"Wow," she finished. "That was amazing."

"You are amazing," he corrected, pressing his lips to her jaw. She met his lips once more and they rolled over together so he could hold her on top of him, feel her head on his chest, her hair between his fingers.

Instead, she gazed up at him.

"What?" he smiled at her lazily.

"Oh I was just thinking," she replied, stroking his cheek. "A few years ago I told someone we don't get unlimited chances to have the things we want; but you, Jake, I think you're my second chance. And this time, I'm gonna get it right."

She leaned up to kiss him again, and yet as he felt this beautiful woman in his arms, Jake thought to himself there was no way she could get it wrong.


Despite being awake for over 24 hours for the first time since residency, Addison felt as if she were walking on cloud nine as she and Jake went to check on Alina one last time before going home.

Home.

Jake was going home with her.

"Now you promise after we leave here you're going to get some actual sleep tonight?" Jake asked, giving her hand a squeeze.

"Yes, I promise," she replied jokingly. "But only if you're there when I wake up."

She surprised even herself with that comment; as much as she knew she loved Jake, it was almost as if declaring her love for Alina gave her five times more confidence. Like there was nothing to be afraid of anymore. So long as she had her daughter, everything else was just a bonus.

"Didn't you say Charlotte ordered security to stay near Alina's room?" Jake asked randomly, as they rounded the corner on the neuro floor.

"Yes, why?" Addison responded.

"Isn't that her room right up there?"

Addison's breath caught in her throat. That was, in fact, Alina's room, and yet there was no one standing in front of it. Save for the sleeping patients, the hallway was relatively empty.

"Yes, it is," Addison breathed, increasing her pace.

Once they reached Alina's room Addison's heart stopped, mouth opening in fear as she stared at the empty bed.

"Alina!" she shouted, as Jake pulled out his phone to call hospital security.

Addison looked around the room desperately, knowing full well it had only been less than a full day since Alina's surgery, but not nearly enough time to discharge her, or move her to a different room. No, the most they would let her do at this point is walk herself to the ensuite bathroom.

The bathroom.

Addison glanced over. The door was shut. Under normal circumstances, she would have left it alone, assuming there might be a nurse or doctor in there with her. But Alina was not in the hospital under normal circumstances. Her hand hesitated at the sliding door, until she heard the whimper.

Her daughter's whimper.

She tried to slide open the door; it was locked.

"Jake!" she yelled. He rushed into the room, followed by two tall, bulky hospital security guards.

"We were told by Dr. King the room was all clear," one of the guards said. "What happened?"

"She told you it was all clear?" Jake demanded. "I heard her make the call myself. The order was 24/7 until discharge. Now what about that says all clear to you?"

Addison had never heard him this upset before.

"I'm sorry! That was the order we got a half an hour ago!" the guard replied.

"Can someone get this damn door open please!" Addison ordered. "Alina!"

After a few tries, a guard picked the lock and forcefully pulled the door open.

There was Alina, crumpled on the floor, hugging her arms to her already-broken body and crying. Addison dared not think how many times Alina must have been in this position before, because when she looked up, Addison found herself face to face with the man responsible.


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