A/N: Happy August, lovely readers! Once again I ended this chapter sooner than planned, but once again the document ended up being like 25 pages so I decided to cut it off before it got too much longer. But there is a lot of MommyAddison! bonding and fluff so I figured you all would be okay with it. Thanks so much for reading!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.


Chapter 12

"I'm a worrier. I know you know that about me, but most people don't. Professionally I'm very confident, but personally I spend a lot of time worrying about what's happening in my life and what isn't happening; what could have happened, but didn't."

"Does it help?"

"I like to think it makes me more prepared. I don't ever want to be blindsided. And if I'm ready, well, it's good to be prepared. And I am, very prepared."

March, 2012

Los Angeles, California

Alina had been pinching herself all afternoon, just to make sure it hadn't all been an anesthesia-induced dream.

Finding her birth mother.

Finding Addison.

Being loved by Addison.

Loving Addison back.

Loving Addison back? It was all happening so fast, and yet it was all feeling so right.

Now the only problem was figuring out what it was that landed her in the hospital. She had been attacked, she knew that much, and Addison had found her. As the emergency contact in her personnel file, Tash had shown up mere hours after the hospital called her, hopping on the first flight out of Boston she could. And the only thing Addison knew was that Alina had been lying unconscious in her kitchen.

She wracked her brain for something, anything; still, the last she could remember was working that case with Dr. Bennett. Gloria, the new mother who had died in surgery.

A depressing thought.

"Knock knock." A voice startled her, her eyes darting to the door. "You still in la la land, or can I come in?"

It was Tash.

"Very funny," Alina smiled groggily. "You can come in."

"Where's Addison?" Natasha asked, sitting down at the foot of Alina's bed.

"I told her to go and get some rest," Alina replied. "She was here for a while, but she looked like a zombie. I figured one of us should get some decent sleep."

"Wow," Natasha said. "I'm shocked you could get her out of here. I know you just 'met' her and all, but from what I can tell, that woman really loves you, Leens."

Alina sighed, a genuine warm feeling flowing through her. Of course, Tash noticed, her best friend placing a hand on her ankle and giving it a squeeze.

"A part of me still can't believe it," Alina managed. "After all that time spent searching, hitting dead ends, and she's here of all places. She's been here, right in front of my nose. And I had to land myself in the hospital to find out." She gestured to the many cords attached to her IV tube.

"Eto bylo neizbezhno," Natasha smiled.

It was inevitable.

"I guess it was," Alina concluded.

"Are you happy though?" her best friend continued. "Because I can be whatever you want me to be. Happy, uncertain, bitter, resentful, you name it."

Alina chuckled.

"Because I stand by what I said. I do think Addison is a good one. But my main concern is you."

"Well I appreciate it," Alina said, reaching a shaky hand out. Natasha scooted forward to grab it. "But I think I'm good. This could be good. At the very least, Addison has been my friend here. I think we can at least keep it that way."

"What do you think you're going do about your dad? And…" Natasha swallowed. "Alexandra."

Alina sighed. For some reason, hearing her mother's name left a bad taste in the back of her throat; worse than usual. The sensation made her feel weird, yet she couldn't put her finger on it. Like there was a layer of fog between her brain and the memory.

"I don't want my relationship with Papa to change, that I know for sure," she said truthfully. "Whether that means I tell him or not, I don't know. Mother was the only one who never wanted me to find out where I came from. Now that I think about it, I don't think Papa and I ever discussed it. As far as I was—am—concerned, he's my dad. I don't want another one. He raised me; I am who I am because of him."

"Well," Natasha shrugged. "I can't imagine he'd be upset if you told him that. But…"

"Whether or not he tells Mother is another story," Alina exhaled. "I don't know. I don't know if I'd be comfortable asking him to keep that secret. She's hard enough on him already."

"She's hard enough on all of you already," Natasha finished.

"Yes, but I live here," Alina said. "For the most part, I keep her out of my life. He does not have that choice."

"Well technically-" Natasha started.

"No," Alina interrupted. She knew where her friend was going.

Technically he could divorce her. Finally divorce her.

"No, Tash. You know people don't do that where we come from."

"I'm just saying." Natasha put her hands up in defeat. "It's 2012. If he really wanted to, he could."

Usually, Alina hated putting much stock in those thoughts. Of no longer feeling anxious going home. Of building an existence free of guilt for only wanting to spend time with her father, free of obligation to see the woman who raised her but arguably didn't even love her, just because she held the title 'Mother.' No, putting stock into those thoughts only ended in disappointment.

Alina sighed. "From your lips to-"

But she was interrupted by a figure walking past her room. A figure she hadn't seen in months, one she had left far behind in Boston.

Edward Sharpe watched her as he walked by. He brought a single index finger to his lips, signaling for her to be quiet.

No, it couldn't be. She had to be seeing things. An anxiety response, if you will. After all, the last time she was in the hospital as a patient had been the night he had broken her wrist; the night she had decided to leave him.

"What's wrong?" Natasha asked, her expression turning to concern before she turned her head, glancing out into the hallway. No one was there.

"I thought I just saw..." Alina started. "Nothing. It's nothing, I'm fine. Just groggy is all. Probably just the meds or something."

The last thing she wanted to do was mention her ex's name and set her friend off. If there was one other person alive who hated Edward as much as she did, it was Tash.

"Okay…" Natasha replied, looking uncertain. "Well if you're sure you're okay, I think I'm gonna step out and check on a few clients."

"Oh yeah, yeah for sure, go!" Alina responded, probably a bit too enthusiastically. The last thing she wanted was for her friend to think something was wrong. "I'll be right here when you're done."

"I'll be back in an hour, tops," Natasha said, leaning forward to kiss Alina on the cheek.

"I'll hold you to that," Alina said. "That is, if I'm not sleeping."

"Just for god's sake stay out of trouble," her best friend replied.

"Yeah, yeah, go on, get out of here." Alina rolled her eyes.

Once her best friend was gone, Alina exhaled, sinking back into her bed. There was no way she just saw her ex walk by; she had to be imagining things. This was her anesthesia-induced dream. Nightmare, more like.

Except, seconds later, there he was again. Walking past her room at an even pace, dressed all in black, his signature color.

This time, he winked.

Alina gasped, her hand instinctively reaching for the railing along her bed. Her pulse skyrocketed; if she were seeing things, this was one hell of a walking nightmare. In her panic, her thumb accidentally pressed the nurse's call button.

"Shit," she swore, taking deep breaths, trying to calm herself down before a nurse showed up and inevitably asked what was wrong.

My abuser is here, and I don't think I am imagining things this time.

"Everything alright in here, Dr. Levin?" A blonde, middle aged nurse she didn't know appeared in her doorway.

Alina willed her heartbeat to slow.

"Yes," she said. "I'm sorry, I pushed the button by mistake."

"Oh not to worry!" the nurse whose name Alina noticed was Jenny walked into the room and opened her chart. "It looks like it was almost time to take your vitals anyway."

Great, Alina thought.

"Blood pressure looks good," Jenny noted, as Alina felt the cuff squeezing her bicep. "Pulse is 110, a little high…"

"You know doctors," Alina chuckled, trying to sound as convincing as possible. "We make the worst patients."

Jenny laughed. "Normally I'd agree with you, but seeing as you work here and could be my boss one day…"

"Oh, don't worry too much," Alina replied, as Jenny ripped off the blood pressure cuff. "I mostly work in trauma and make a beeline from the ER to the OR. Go ahead and call me a bad patient."

The nurse laughed again.

"Well you certainly seem to be our most popular patient, with visitors in and out every hour. There's even a gentleman in the waiting room whose been asking to see you all afternoon."

"What?" Alina breathed, responding a little quicker than she probably should have. She caught herself. "I mean...who is it?"

Thankfully Jenny hadn't noticed.

"Said his name was Edward," she said casually. "A friend from Boston, but with quite the dreamy English accent."

Alina's hands began to sweat. She swallowed. She hadn't dreamt it after all. Her ex-fiancé was here in the hospital.

"He an old boyfriend?" the nurse winked at her before lifting her gown to check the abdominal incision from her first surgery.

"Um," Alina managed. "I guess you could say that."

"Unfortunately we couldn't let him back here since he's not listed as an emergency contact of next of kin, but I can give him the all-clear if you want?"

Alina paled, willing herself to breathe.

"No, no that's quite alright, thank you," she said. "I'm pretty tired; I think I'd like to rest a bit more before anyone comes back."

"Perfectly understandable," Jenny replied.

Deep down, Alina knew she could tell Jenny the truth and the hospital would do everything in its power to keep her safe. She could tell Addison, or Dr. King, or anyone, really. But the last thing she needed was her personal business spreading like wildfire; for her colleagues to think of her as the weak little thing who let herself get kicked around for years before having the guts to leave. Feeling sorry for her. And then if she told Addison or Tash, and they got involved...the thought of her newly-found Super Mom or her best friend going anywhere near that monster, of them getting hurt...Alina could hardly bear it. No, this was something that needed to be handled on her own.

"I'm just gonna look at your sutures here…" Jenny muttered. "Everything looks good, nice and clean…"

Then the nurse ran a gloved finger over the wound on Alina's upper left abdomen, near her spleen. Just a simple touch, a routine medical check, and yet for Alina, it all came flooding back.

She gasped. Jenny, startled, pulled her hand back.

"Did that hurt?" she asked.

"No," Alina swallowed, forcing a smile. "No I'm sorry, it's just...cold hands."

"Oh I'm so sorry!" Jenny apologized, and Alina felt bad. If anything, the older woman's hands were warm and comforting. "Well the good news is everything is all clear, so I'll leave you to rest for a bit. Just no getting up or walking until a nurse comes in to help you later tonight."

"Thank you," Alina nodded. "Next time I'll be sure to press the call button on purpose."

Once Jenny was gone, Alina turned onto her non-sutured side, curling her legs up toward her chest. Her body ached, but this was a natural panic response. A way to protect herself.

She remembered it all. The case with Dr. Bennett; Edward showing up at the hospital; learning her mother had sent him to her; confronting him in the ER; Dr. Wilder interrupting; losing her patient Gloria; rushing out of the OR; going home; calling her father to hear his voice—shaken up from her encounter with Edward—but getting his voicemail; going into the kitchen; chopping some vegetables to cook with dinner; hearing a knock at the door; answering the door; large, unforgiving hands grabbing her; being dragged back into the kitchen by the ends of her hair; thrown onto the floor; screaming, certain death was coming as he stood over her with that same knife she used to dice a green bell pepper; searing pain as the knife made contact with her stomach. Him. There. He had her.

Then, waking up. In the hospital. Addison, telling her everything was going to be okay.

Alina's whole body began to shake. This man wanted her dead, wanted her to know he was capable of killing her, and he was right here in this hospital, and she had no idea how to get rid of him. Of when he'd show up. Of what he would do to her.

Silent tears rolled down her cheeks. She should be so happy today, she found her family, and yet all she felt in this moment was terror. Out of control.

She had to hide. It was fight or flight, and her brain didn't have any fight left.

Her stomach lurched as she sat up, reaching for her IV pole. She glanced over at the ensuite bathroom. That door locked; she could hide in there. It was only about five feet away, but to Alina those five feet felt like 100 miles. She had brain surgery less than a day ago, she knew what she was doing was incredibly dangerous. But then, remaining in bed was too. And if she somehow landed herself back in emergency surgery...well, she was probably less likely to die there too.

There was no one outside her door; she could get up now and no one would notice.

So that was exactly what she did.

Her head pounded with each movement as she willed herself not to throw up, not to fall. One step at a time. Her knuckles turned white from the tight grip on the IV pole.

"Come. On," she urged herself. Just a few more steps. Her legs felt like cement.

Sweat trickled down her back and forehead as she took her first step into the bathroom.

"Made it," she whispered, eyeing the shower chair. She desperately needed to sit and catch her breath.

She reached back to pull the sliding door shut, but before she could lock it, a force much stronger than her pushed it back open.

"You didn't honestly think I would leave here without a proper goodbye, did you?"

It was him. The door shut behind them. The lock clicked.

Alina fell to the floor.


Addison knew she should have been scared. Petrified, really, as she stood in the face of this monster. Yet in this moment, all she could think about was her daughter. Her daughter, who had been terrorized by this man for so long. It was as if 29 years of wishing she could be there protect her all came down to that moment, and nothing else mattered. Everything, everyone else in the room—Jake, the hospital security guards—moved in slow motion.

"Don't you touch her!" Addison shouted, lunging forward to shield Alina's body.

She heard crashing sounds behind her as she crouched on the ground right in front of her daughter's face. But Alina's watery, bloodshot eyes looked right through her.

"Why don't you just kill me already!" she shrieked, and Addison's heart shattered, thinking of what she must have had to go through to get to this point.

Addison glanced back - the two security guards had him in a hold.

"Shh, shh, you're okay." She tried desperately to comfort a trembling Alina while the whole scene played out behind them. "He's not gonna hurt you. I'm not gonna let him hurt you."

"He…" Alina cried. "The hospital. My house…"

"I know, I know," Addison replied, touching her cheek.

"I didn't tell you he was here," she sobbed, her voice trembling significantly. "I didn't want you go get hurt. Not you too."

Her daughter, who had owed her nothing, had protected her instead. Tears streamed down Addison's cheeks as she opened her mouth to reply. Instead she was interrupted by a "HEY!" behind her.

She spun around, still shielding Alina. There in the doorway stood Natasha, with Jake and Charlotte right beside her, accompanied by two police officers. Not hospital security; real cops. Natasha tapped her cell phone against the palm of her other hand, indicating she had been the one to call 911.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that, you son of a bitch," she seethed, as the two police officers began to handcuff him.

Edward turned his gaze toward Alina one last time.

"You need me," he warned, and Addison felt the rage flow through her body all over again.

"I need you," Alina began, her feeble body still crumpled on the floor but with a voice filled with so much anger, so much pent up rage and terror. "To burn in hell."

Addison squeezed her eyes shut and turned back toward her daughter, lying down on the floor right in front of her, wishing with all her heart she could shield her from this. Normally, as a doctor her number one concern would be getting the patient who clearly should not be out of bed back into bed, but as a...mother...she knew moving Alina anywhere at the moment would only create more danger.

"Get him the hell out of my hospital," Addison heard Charlotte snap.

"Wait!" Someone stopped them.

It was Jake. Addison wanted to turn around again, but she couldn't take her eyes off Alina even if she tried. She heard Jake take a step. For a second she thought maybe he'd hit him. She scooted closer to Alina, wrapping an arm around her as tightly as she could. For the first time, Alina looked straight into her eyes, and the two women held each other's gaze, communicating a thousand messages at once, as Addison heard Jake behind her:

"You hurt any of my girls again, you answer to me."

Addison leaned forward and pressed her forehead against Alina's. Alina closed her eyes in response, taking deep breaths.

"It's okay," Addison breathed. "He's gone. He's gone. I've got you."

"Forever?" Alina whispered.

"Yes," Addison swallowed. "Forever." Although in her mind, she answered more than one question.

He is gone, forever.

I've got you, forever.

"That bastard's not going anywhere other than a jail cell for a long time," Natasha announced, crouching down near Alina's head. By this point a couple of neurology nurses had arrived to get her up.

Addison watched as relief washed over her daughter's face. Like she was finally free. No more running.

"Honey, we need to get you back into bed," Addison said gently, sitting up. "Can you sit up?"

Alina placed a shaky hand on the cold tile floor and attempted to push herself up. A low moan escaped her lips, a pain response. Addison felt a lump form in her throat.

"Don't worry, Dr. Levin, we've got you." The two nurses surrounded her on either side.

It took all Addison had not to start crying as she watched the nurses practically carry her frail daughter back into bed. This beautiful, brilliant young woman who had been through so much her whole life, and did nothing to deserve any of it.

Addison looked at her, and felt more protective of her than she ever had over anything else in her entire life. And that terrified her too. She had spent the past 29 years loving her daughter, but that didn't necessarily mean her daughter was ready to accept her in return. Would love be enough this time?

Once all of Alina's sutures and vitals were checked, Addison and Natasha carefully approached the bed, the younger woman sitting in the adjacent chair.

"Thank you," Alina mouthed, almost inaudibly. "For protecting me. Both of you." She turned her gaze to Addison.

Addison's eyes filled, but she was determined to keep the tears at bay.

"I never wanted anyone else to get hurt," Alina continued. "I never…"

Her voice trailed as the morphine drip kicked in. Natasha took her hand.

"Shh…" Addison sat down on the edge of the bed opposite Natasha. Alina's eyes began to droop. "I will always be there when you need me."

Alina just nodded drunkenly, and Addison took this as permission to lean forward and place a kiss on her forehead. But as soon as Alina closed her eyes, Addison felt that familiar need to run build up in her chest. That need to release the tension. To cry.

"I'll be…" she said to Natasha. "I'll be right back."

She needed to find Jake. She needed to be in his arms. Have him tell her everything was going to be alright.

She rushed out the door and around the corner, pulling her phone from her pocket when she bumped into someone. It was him. Immediately she melted into his arms, buried her head in his chest, and wept.

"Hey, hey, hey," he soothed, rubbing her back. "We got him, it's okay, everything's going to be okay…"

"Jake…" Addison sobbed. "She...in there…"

"I know," he said, lips against her forehead.

"I let her get hurt, I…"

"Addison, you did no such thing," Jake interrupted.

"As soon as we realized it was him I should have tracked him down." She pulled back from Jake's embrace. "Called the cops, hired a private investigator; hell, I should have gone after the bastard myself…"

"Addison…"

"I told her I would never let anyone hurt her again, Jake," she snapped. "I told her that, and she believed me when she had no reason to. I was the first person in her life to let her down; she had no reason to trust me, but she did, and I failed her. Again."

Jake held her face, his warm hands catching her tears.

"You wanna know what I think?"

Addison exhaled. "Do I have a choice?" The words came out harsher than she meant. "Sorry…"

"I think," Jake continued, ignoring her jab. As if he understood it completely, and that only made her love him more. "That girl wants you in her life in one way or another. And the way you lit up after telling her who you were, Addison you told me she loves you, and you love her. She let you comfort her. She told you she didn't mention the ex-boyfriend because she didn't want you to get hurt. Now that, that sounds like love to me. I know I would have done exactly the same."

Addison leaned into him again, resting her head against his chest. "Why do you have to be so damn right about everything all the time?" she muttered.

Jake chuckled. "I don't know about everything, but you're not the only one who doesn't like to see the people you love in pain."

Addison hugged him tighter, pressing her lips to his neck.

"I love you, too," she mumbled.

"Addison," Jake said her name again, this time quietly.

"Hmm?"

"I think you should stay here with Alina tonight," he said.

She looked up at him. It was like he could read her mind. As much as she wanted to go home with him, the pull to stay here and care for her daughter nearly overpowered her.

"We both know she's going to need help throughout her recovery." He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "She'll need you."

"But-" she started.

"I will be here, for whatever you need. I'll make sure everything at the house is taken care of, check in on Amelia and all that. I will bring you whatever you need, just...Alina needs you."

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" Addison whispered.

Jake held her close.

"Funny," he said. "I've just spent the past 24 hours asking myself the same thing."


"You really don't have to sleep here, you know," Alina said to Addison later that night, as she watched her rearrange the blankets on the extra hospital cot.

Technically speaking, Alina knew most patients would not be allowed to have family spend the night in their room immediately following emergency surgery. But as soon as she saw Addison threaten to have at least three different nurses fired if they made a stink about it, she knew there was no way Addison Montgomery would let that rule apply to her.

"Are you kidding?" Addison replied casually, fluffing the pillow and dressed in the flannel pajama pants and long sleeve shirt Jake brought her. "The only reason Natasha even agreed to stay at my house was because we knew I'd have the better shot at convincing the night nurses to let me stay here. And besides, who's gonna hold the bin when the post-op nausea kicks in at 3am?"

Alina smiled tiredly, secretly grateful for the company.

"I guess you do have a point there. But seriously, have you even slept since yesterday?"

"A few hours here and there," Addison said, walking over to Alina's bed and sitting down on the edge.

"You need rest!" Alina looked at her worriedly.

"Yes Mom," Addison replied jokingly. "Now that is officially the last bit of energy you put into worrying about me!"

Alina knew Addison had a point; still, she just found her mom. A mom who loved her. It almost scared her how quickly Alina came to worry about Addison as if she were family. Slowly, Alina pushed herself over in bed, before patting the now-empty side, silently inviting Addison to lie down beside her.

Addison obliged, and the two women made themselves comfortable under the extra fleece blanket from Addison's house. Anything to make the hospital feel less like a hospital. Immediately Alina felt her body relax at the smell of lavender and vanilla, of Addison.

Lying there in silence, Alina let the older woman wrap her arms around her again. The events of today hovered over them like a low-hanging cloud. Alina knew they could talk about it, how terrified she was, how she almost risked further injury, how she could have been killed. But Edward was gone. The police had filed a restraining order. Her room was heavily guarded. She was safe. And she hated the thought of wasting one more minute with her new family member talking about it. This, she had said, was her one condition of 'letting' Addison stay over.

"I have an idea," she announced.

"Hmm?" Addison hummed, lightly brushing her lips over Alina's temple, a maternal endearment the younger woman was still getting used to.

"Why don't we each take turns telling each other three things about ourselves."

Addison laughed.

"What?" Alina chuckled, wincing as her head throbbed. "I figure it's the easiest way to get to know each other, and I do...I do want to know you, Addison."

Addison smiled at her warmly. "Well that's good. I wanna know you too."

"Okay," Alina sighed. "Uhh, let's start with surface level stuff. Umm...I skipped the first grade, thanks to my father's steadfast determination to have me reading at three. I minored in music at Vassar, in piano performance, which I have been playing since I was four. I was also a big theatre nerd in secondary school and college, and I actually made front page of the campus newspaper as Sally Bowles in Cabaret sophomore year. And…well I guess this is four things, but I finished university in three years, and medical school at 23, and I always knew I wanted to work with kids."

For a moment Addison just looked at her, and Alina felt herself blush. "What is it?" she said.

"Nothing." Addison snapped out of it. "It's nothing it's just...I skipped the first grade too. And finished college in three years. I took summer classes and extra credits each semester to graduate early."

"Me too," Alina whispered. They gazed at one another. Even at the surface level, they were inherently connected. "Small world," she blinked.

Addison placed a hand on top of Alina's, rubbing soft circles with her thumb. "Yeah," she breathed.

"Um," Addison continued, snapping out of it. "Okay, I guess it's my turn. First of all, I want a recording of that Cabaret performance if you have it," she joked.

"Oh my goodness," Alina laughed. "Normally I would lie and say I don't, but since it's you, yes, I do. Tash has it buried somewhere, and about once a year we pour a glass of wine and watch it for a good laugh."

"It was that bad?" Addison countered.

"No." Alina shook her head. "It's just been about four million years since I've been on stage and sometimes Doctor Alina can't believe she ever did that."

"Okay well I still want the video proof." Addison looked at her, pretending to be serious. "But anyway…I have one older brother, Archer; bit of a nosey pain in the ass but he's pretty much my best friend. He's a doctor too, and he was the first person to know about...you."

Alina took in a breath. So she had an uncle, too.

"I...was in band all through high school," Addison said. "Had braces, frizzy hair, all that stereotypical band geek stuff."

Alina chuckled. "No way…"

"What?" Addison laughed.

"Nothing, it's just," Alina said. "I can't really picture you as the geeky type. You know, with your perfect hair and wardrobe most women would kill for."

"Oh trust me there are pictures to prove it." Addison rolled her eyes. "And...third thing. I went to med. school in New York, and that was also where I met my ex-husband."

"Yeah, I remember you've mentioned him before," Alina said. "From when you lived in a trailer in Seattle."

"Oh yeah," Addison snorted. "That."

"If you don't mind my asking," Alina tread carefully. "What happened that made you divorce?"

Addison exhaled. "Oh, honey, it's a long story…"

"Well the surgeon said I'll be here for at least another two weeks, so I've got nothing but time," Alina replied, mildly sarcastic. Still, Addison seemed hesitant, staring down at her cuticles. "But if it's too personal, I understand."

"No!" Addison responded quickly. "I mean, no. It's not that I don't want you to know, I just...there are certain things I've done in the past that I'm not proud of. But I've tried—I am trying—to move forward and be better…"

"Addison," Alina stopped her. "I think everyone has things they've done in the past that they're not proud of. I can certainly name a few. But I also think I have a pretty good idea of who you are now." She looked at her. "I won't judge."

Addison pressed another kiss to Alina's forehead; the act felt so natural it was as if she'd been doing it Alina's whole life. It was only when Addison pulled away quickly that she was reminded of how new this all was. For both of them.

"We'd been married for eleven years," Addison started. "And most of it was good, relatively normal I guess, but over the last couple of years Derek had started working longer hours, trying to get promoted to Chief of Surgery at the hospital we worked at in New York. It got to the point where I barely saw him. He'd come home at 2am and I'd either pretend to be asleep or confront him about it and we'd end up fighting.

"One night I had just...had enough. Our best friend was over at the house, and he and I shared a bottle of wine, and god knows when Derek was ever going to show up. But I missed him. I really...missed him. All I wanted was him. But, next thing I knew, the wine was gone, I was in bed with the best friend, and Derek was walking in on us. He took a job offer to run a neurosurgery department in Seattle and left that night. A couple months later, I got invited to work a case out there only to find out, my husband was cheating on me too. We tried to make it work, I think out of some weird need to be the 'good guy' on his end, but he didn't love me anymore. He was in love with the other woman. And I think we both knew it was just...time. To be done. So we divorced, stayed friends—sort of—and I came down here."

Alina was silent for a moment, processing. "Well, I-" she started, but Addison interrupted her.

"There's...one more thing." She took a deep breath. "After that night...I got pregnant. With his baby. You know, it's ironic, 11 years of marriage and nothing but after one night with the wrong guy...anyway. I um, I had an abortion."

Alina blinked. She hadn't been expecting that.

"I wasn't ready for a baby at the time, and he definitely was not the guy I wanted to have a baby with. I wanted Derek. I wanted to have a baby with Derek. And then I thought about you. How I failed you before you were even old enough to know who I was. How I'd spent over 20 years wanting you, too. Instead I ended up alone."

"Hey, you have not ended up anywhere," Alina reassured her. "Plus who was that doctor who dropped off your overnight bag not too long ago? Jake Reilly? I know I'm no relationship expert but that man is definitely not just a friend."

"Oh, yeah," Addison chuckled. "Not so alone anymore."

"See?" Alina smiled. "You thought you ended up alone meanwhile this total dreamboat was just waiting to sweep you off your feet."

"Uh, just one thing though," Addison interjected. "Can we not use the word 'dream' or anything to do with 'dream' or 'dreamy' to describe him?"

"Why?" Alina asked, confused.

"Nothing," Addison muttered. "Never mind."

"I do have one other thing I want to say though," Alina said. "About what you said earlier, how you failed me before I was even old enough to know who you were. Addison, you didn't fail me." She looked Addison, her mother, in the eye, and once again she wondered how she went so long without noticing all of their similarities. "I mean yeah sometimes there were days when I was younger and my mother was…" Alina exhaled. "Sometimes I did resent you, for giving me up, especially when I was convinced anywhere would be better than where I was. But mostly I just, wanted to know who you were. And that you were out there doing good in the world. And now I...I don't think you failed me. You were so young and, who knows what my family would have done if I were in the same situation. You couldn't have known who was going to adopt me. You did not fail me. I'm just happy you're you, and we have each other now."

A single tear fell down Addison's cheek and she wiped it away quickly before placing a warm palm against Alina's cheek. Alina blinked slowly, leaning into it.

"And you'll always have me," Addison managed.

Alina smiled softly, resting her cheek back down against Addison's shoulder. Addison rubbed gently back and forth along her forearm.

"My turn again?" Alina said quietly.

"Mhmm," Addison hummed, cheek resting on Alina's head.

"Oh here's a good one," she thought out loud. "I lost my virginity when I was 18, in the lighting booth of the theatre in college. Thankfully no one was in there at the time because we had a real show going on stage...you know, sliding the controllers on the panel back and forth…"

Addison cackled. "I don't know if I'm supposed to laugh at that or be horrified…"

Alina laughed in response, trying not to flinch as the stitches in her side pinched. "My biggest phobias are enclosed spaces, and falling from very high places. Although when I was little it used to be thunderstorms. But now like MRI's or skydiving? Forget it. And third…" She took a breath, wanting to share with Addison as much as possible but at the same time not knowing how much Addison necessarily wanted to know. Namely about her parents.

"What's wrong?" Addison asked almost in Doctor mode, as if she thought Alina were in pain.

"Nothing I just...I don't know how much you want to know about...my parents."

But Addison just looked at her with those kind eyes. "You can tell me whatever you want to tell me. Whatever makes you...you."

"Okay, well...my dad is my best friend. I've always kind of known he was the one who really wanted to adopt me, and take care of me. I know I've told you some of this before, but my mother and I have never been close. She didn't much care for little children, and then once I got older our relationship was mostly based around her latest criticisms. And dodging her temper."

"You said before when you first told me about...him," Addison swallowed, and Alina knew she was talking about Edward. "That you fell in love with someone who was exactly like your mother. Did she…?"

Did she hit you?

Alina met Addison's gaze again, blinking as she exhaled. She nodded slowly. A silent confession.

Addison's kind eyes turned sad as she touched Alina's cheek again. She leaned forward and pressed two gentle kisses on her forehead, this time with no hesitation. As if this small action could make up for all the hurt Alina had ever faced.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," she whispered.

"It's okay," Alina breathed. It wasn't, but in this moment, it was. "I had—I have—a really great father. Where my family comes from, couples don't really get divorced. But Papa always did his best to protect me. We did everything together. He taught me to play piano, to read, everything. I remember spending countless hours in his study, devouring book after book. I actually used to go to his classes with him, when I was little and he taught at Columbia. He always said I'd learn way more there than at home with a nanny," she chuckled. "He wasn't wrong."

"Oh, which department?" Addison asked, casually playing with the ends of Alina's hair.

"Physics," Alina said. "Usually upper-level undergrad, but occasionally in the medical school."

Suddenly Addison looked at Alina again, intently. "What year?"

"Umm I think from around 1982 to 1990, somewhere around there. Why?"

"I went to med. school at Columbia," Addison admitted, like she was trying to solve a mystery. "I took a physics course with my best friend Naomi in fall of my third year. 1989."

Addison stared at her, brow furrowed; although a second later her her eyes filled with tears as she brought a hand to her mouth.

"What is it?" Alina asked, confused.

"I had your father's class," Addison whispered.

Alina's heart skipped a beat as the memory hit her like a train. Six years old, sitting in her father's class, red hair tucked underneath a navy blue beanie. She gasped; it was her turn to bring her hand to her mouth.

"The student with the red hair," she choked, the lump forming in her throat.

"The little girl with the beanie." Addison had tears streaming down her cheeks this time.

Addison took her face in her hands, catching her tears. "I um…" Her voice shook. "I was six. My mother told me to wear the hat because I was always the only redhead in the room and she didn't like me drawing attention. But then I saw...the student with red hair, and she talked to me. She made me feel beautiful, because she was beautiful. She made me want to be a doctor someday." Alina was openly crying at this point. "Of course she was you."

"Oh, baby," Addison cried, and Alina melted into her embrace once again. "It was always you."

Alina couldn't believe it. She had spent so much of her life wanting to feel connected to Addison; come to find out, she had been. Super Mom had literally been right under her nose the whole time.

Alina choked on a sob, nodding her head against Addison's chest. Addison rubbed her back.

"I think," she managed. "If it's okay with you, I'd like to keep you in my life. You're good, and kind, and smart, and brave. I want you in my life."

As my mother, Alina thought to herself. As someone who wants to be my mother.

"Baby girl," Addison mumbled against her forehead. "I'm never letting you go again."

"So," Alina said after a moment, wiping her cheek. She smiled up at Addison. "Three more things. Your turn."


Addison felt like she was on cloud nine the next morning as she walked with an extra skip in her step back to Alina's room from the cafeteria, dressed in jeans and her signature Yale sweatshirt, fresh cup of coffee in hand.

Since finding out who Alina was, Addison felt like she had experienced the full spectrum of emotions in just a matter of days; anger, that she was robbed of her daughter's whole life. Fear, that her daughter wouldn't accept her, or would resent her. Hope, that her daughter would accept her. Then relief, that she did.

And above all else, intense, intense love for a girl who, just months ago, was a total stranger. More love than she believed possible.

She wanted to shout it from the rooftops. Tell everyone at the practice. Call her brother. Call Naomi. Call all of her friends; hell, even Derek, if only just to gloat that she was worthy of being a mother after all. Most of all, she wanted Jake. She knew that now. He was it for her. He was the partner she wanted to help her navigate all of this, to grow old with, and maybe, to have more children with? Despite all of her past failures, the thought kept replaying in her mind: Jake and Alina just made everything seem so possible again.

Then there was the thing Alina made her promise not to talk about, a condition of Addison staying with her last night. The fact that her abuser was finally caught, arrested, and, hopefully, gone for good. On the one hand, Addison was happy not to discuss it, because it gave her and Alina exactly the bonding time they needed. On the other, the last thing Addison wanted was her holding it all in. She wanted to know every detail of what that guy did to her, so that were she ever to see him again, she could kill him with her bare hands.

Or at least threaten to.

Then she could tell Alina that she was worth so much more than anything he had ever said about her, or done to her.

She was just about to turn the corner into Alina's room when she heard another voice already in there. A male voice. After yesterday's incident, she wanted to panic, that is until she realized Alina was speaking back to him, and not in English. She realized this male voice to be Alina's father, and her former professor.

Addison leaned against the wall, outside of view. She felt a little guilty for eavesdropping even though she could only understand every third sentence or so they said in English. Still, she could tell by the tone of the conversation that her father was worried, and Alina was relieved to see him.

As Addison listened to them talk, envy began to consume her. Deep down she knew it was not his fault Alina was taken from her at birth, but because she was, it was this man who got to witness her growing up. Every milestone, every success, and every heartbreak. All those parent-and-child moments that Addison could never have, that were stolen from her. She wanted to hate him so much, and yet, hearing how much her daughter clearly loved him, and how instrumental he was in shaping Alina into the woman Addison loves, she couldn't bring herself to.

And as she found out last night, the universe had given her a glimpse of her daughter during childhood. For an entire class period her baby had sat next to her, wide-eyed and mesmerized by her red hair. Addison had barely remembered that moment, let alone the obscure physics course Columbia had made her take, until Alina mentioned her father was a professor and she desperately tried to make the connection. The moment had come back to her in pieces; being surprised at the compliment about her hair, seeing a small child in the classroom, feeling bad that the small child was forced to hide who she was. Looking back, the crazy side of her wished she would have scooped the girl into her arms and run off. Never looked back.

"There is one more thing, my darling," Addison heard Alina's father say in heavily accented English she suddenly recognized so well, that brought her right back to med. school to a course she thought she had forgotten.

"What is it?" Alina replied in Russian...or so Addison assumed.

Addison heard him take a breath.

"I've left your mother."

Silence.

"How-" Alina began, clearly stunned.

"Enough is enough," he said. "I stood by long enough as she picked you apart. Made excuse after excuse for that monster. But you are the most important thing in the world to me, solnishka. I will not let anyone hurt you any longer."

Damn straight, Addison thought to herself.

"Thank you." Addison heard Alina begin to cry again, and her heart felt equal parts heavy, equal parts relief. Relief that the two people who had abused her daughter for so long, were out of her life for good. Or least until Alina wanted them back. If she wanted them back.

That alone was enough for Addison.

But not enough to keep her from reentering the room.

"Oh, Addison," Alina said, startled. She wiped at her eyes. The man that was her father stood up, and suddenly Addison had no clue how she didn't recognize him when he had been here a month ago.

"Hello," Addison said, pretending to be surprised to see him. She stuck her hand out to shake his. "I'm glad you could be-"

But instead of accepting the handshake, Alina's father pulled her into a hug.

"Oh!" she managed, surprised.

"Alina told me you found her after she was attacked. Brought her here," he said, pulling back. "You saved my daughter's life. I owe you, everything."

Addison's eyes misted over. As someone who yearned for a baby for so long, she could feel how much he loved Alina, blood relation or not.

"Papa," Alina said, interrupting them.

Addison's eyes widened, knowing what was about to happen next. But Alina just gave her a subtle nod and a look that said everything is going to be okay. I got this. Addison's palms began to sweat.

"What is it, darling?" he asked, sitting beside her once more.

"Addison didn't just save my life. There's...something else you should know too."


Thanks for reading! Reviews would be much appreciated :)