A/N Still not mine

Hoshi Sato was perturbed. She had been waiting twenty minutes in the mess hall for Travis to arrive. Of, course, if she were honest with herself, she had no reason to complain, since it was still fifteen minutes before the time they had agreed to meet. But she figured if she had been unable to sleep looking forward to their trip today, then he should not have been able to sleep either.

As she waited, her thoughts went back over recent events. It was four months since Trip and T'Pol buried baby Elizabeth. All of the planets at the conference were represented and President Samuels and Admiral Gardner had also attended. After the ceremony, T'Pol had left for the Vulcan Compound saying she needed to meditate. Not willing to let Trip be alone, the Captain, the rest of the bridge crew, and Phlox had persuaded him to accompany them to a quiet bar. They all realized it had been a long time since they had socialized together. It did seem to be good for Trip.

Unfortunately, it turned out the funeral was about the last thing the delegates did together. Although the Captain's speech had stopped the Conference from breaking up immediately, the delegates were soon contacted by their governments, who were greatly disturbed by the Terra Prime confrontation. Within a couple of weeks, all the delegates were called home for 'consultations' and it was apparent they did not plan to return.

In an effort to salvage some momentum from the Conference, President Samuels decided to concentrate on the 'Core Four', that is, Earth, Vulcan, Andoria, and The Teller. To that end, he ordered Captain Archer and Enterprise to engage in a sort of 'Shuttle Diplomacy'. They were to travel to the other three planets and, using Archer's contacts such as Shran and Gral, to try to talk to their governments, to discuss the opening of new talks between the four planets.

T'Pol had returned to the ship, but announced she would spend her time not on duty meditating in her cabin. She thus set herself away from the rest of the crew, including Trip. The only silver lining was that the rest of crew made a special effort to spend more time together. Everyone was especially gratified to see the Captain and Trip get back together similar to the way they were when the mission started.

As for the mission itself, the results were a mixed bag. Although Archer was able to speak with those at the highest level on each planet, he could not get anyone to agree to a resumption of talks. But, on the other hand, no one dismissed them as not being a possibility in the future.

They had returned to Earth two weeks before to find significant decisions had been made. It was determined that Enterprise would be almost completely redone. That included being fitted with the new Earth-built Warp 7 engines. All scanners and weapons would be upgraded thanks to help from the Vulcans. They would even have some Shield capability due to the Andorians.

Then she and Travis, in an action that Captain Archer stated was long overdue, had been promoted to Lieutenant, while Malcom was promoted to Lieutenant Commander.

The rebuild would take approximately seven months. Since the first two months would be spent tearing Enterprise apart, it was determined that the entire crew, with one exception, would receive sixty days of leave. The sole exception was Captain Archer, who, as Admiral Gardner put it, 'Was needed for a special operation'. In fact, the Captain had already headed down to Earth early that morning for a later meeting with the Admiral. Phlox had decided he would take advantage of the opportunity to return to Denobula for at least four months since Sickbay would not be drastically changed.

Hoshi had been shocked when Travis had approached her and said that since his mother and brother would not be able to get back to Earth until toward the end of his leave, he had decided to take a walking tour of the Alps. He then asked if she would like to accompany him. She and Travis had grown closer during their time in the Expanse and she often found herself wondering as to what their 'relationship' was or could be.

Her musings were interrupted when Travis came through the door with Malcom right behind him. Smiling, Travis gave her a wave, that she answered to. Then they got food and came to the table.

Malcom spoke first, "So, when are you two heading out?"

Travis answered, "Our shuttle for the Alps leaves at ten o'clock. We plan to take the next shuttle down."

Hoshi wasn't sure what to say to Malcolm. He was going home for leave because his father was dying. She knew things were confused between them. She didn't fully understand why, but knew his father had not been thrilled when he joined Starfleet. But Malcom had also said his father had been proud of his part in saving the Earth. She spoke up, "How about you, Malcolm?"

"I'll be joining you in the shuttle. I plan to leave for England about nine-thirty."

Travis continued, "Has anybody seen Trip or T'Pol? Do you guys know what their plans are?"

Malcolm answered, "I know Trip's planning on going to visit his parents. He was going to ask T'Pol to join him. Treat it as returning the favor of when she took him to Vulcan. He really is hoping they can maybe get back together."

Hoshi whispered, "Speak of the Devil," as T'Pol came through the door. Seeing them, she came to the table and sat down, saying, "It is good you are all together. I have some information I would like for you to hear."

Just then, Phlox came in also. T'Pol stopped and signaled him to join them. After Phlox was seated, she went on, "Doctor, I was just about to tell everyone something. I have decided to resign from Starfleet and return to Vulcan."

Everyone was stunned. Before anyone could say anything, T'Pol continued, "I made this decision some time ago and I apologize for not telling you sooner, but I wanted to avoid any emotional scenes and did not want to give anyone the opportunity to try to convince me to stay."

Hoshi finally got out, "What are you planning to do on Vulcan? We have a sixty-day leave, is it necessary to leave Starfleet?"

"There is something I must do. Although it is possible I could seek to return to Starfleet in the future, I think it is highly unlikely that I would do so."

Hoshi continued, "We'll all miss you, but if you are sure, I'm sure I speak for all of us that we hope it works out for you." Then after a slight hesitation, "Have you told Commander Tucker and the Captain yet?"

"I am heading for Commander Tucker's quarters now and then will talk to the Captain on the surface."

She then rose and said, "I will miss you all as well, but this is something I feel I must do." With that, she left the Mess Hall.

Malcolm looked after her, "I'd like to be a fly on the wall to hear that conversation."

T'Pol was not looking forward to this discussion. She wished she could just leave and avoid it, but she knew she owed him a goodbye and hopefully some sort of closure.

After pushing the button announcing her presence, she heard him say, "Come in."

She entered to find Trip packing his duffel bag. He smiled upon seeing her, "Hey, T'Pol, I was just going to contact you. If you don't have any plans for the first couple weeks of the leave, I was hoping you could come with me to visit my parents. I would like to reciprocate for when you took me to Vulcan to meet your mother."

"I am afraid that would be impossible in light of what I wish to tell you."

Trip face sobered, "Sound serious, what's up?"

She gestured to the bed, "Perhaps we should sit down."

They sat down next to each other on the bed.

"I am leaving Starfleet and returning to Vulcan."

Trip, now stunned, "But what about us?"

"I will miss you as a friend, but I feel this is something I need to do."

"A friend? We are more than that."

"I admit you have been special to me, but there is no us."

Getting agitated, "We made love, T'Pol, that's more than what friends do."

T'Pol wondered if she should tell him about the Trellium. It would help explain what had caused her to act the way she did. But, she decided she did not want anyone to know. She realized she did not want Captain Archer to know.

"It happened because of the Neuropressure and the conditions we were facing in the Expanse. Is it not significant that although we continued to do the intimacy of Neuropressure, it never happened again?"

"How do you explain Lorian? You and I had a child together."

"That was not us. That was a T'Pol and Trip that experienced entirely different life conditions. It could be possible that faced with the same situation, we might make the same decision, it is also possible we might choose different mates."

Getting a little angry, Trip continued, "You have an answer for everything, don't you? You took me home to meet your mother."

"And we know how that turned out. I married a different man."

"You didn't love him. You did it to protect your mother."

"That is true, but if I felt the way about you that you believe I do, do you not think I would have avoided it?"

"No, T'Pol, I don't know why you are doing this, but you know you feel more that friendship for me. We formed a bond for God's sake. When I came back from Columbia, you kissed me."

"I admit the bond mystified me. I could not understand why it would form so long after we had intercourse. If that was the cause, it should have occurred immediately. But with no other explanation, I had to believe that perhaps I did have feelings for you. I was also glad to see you return from Columbia because, even though you denied it, I felt you left for Columbia because of me." After a moment she continued, "And did you not leave because you knew I did not share your feelings for me?"

She continued, "Then, when we found out about Elizabeth, I knew she was what had caused the bond."

She continued sadly, "That was verified when it disappeared after she died."

Trip, breaking down, "How about Elizabeth, we had a child together. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"Of course, it does. It will be something special that we will always have between us. We were there to comfort each other. But it does not mean I love you. What if they had chosen someone else's DNA? Malcolm's? The Captain's? Would you then expect me to be in love with them?"

Trip buried his head in his hands.

T'Pol reached out and put her hand on his shoulder. "I am sorry I hurt you. That was never my intent. You will always be a cherished friend. It grieves me that I do not feel the same towards you as you apparently do for me."

She rose up and said, "Goodbye, Trip", and headed for the door. As she neared it, she almost stopped to try to do something that might help, but she knew there was nothing more to say. She went out the door without looking back.

She had left so abruptly that it caught Trip off guard. He quickly got up and rushed after her. As he opened the door, he had her name on his lips to call out, but she was nowhere in sight. Just two crewmen passing who looked inquisitively at him. Giving them a nod, he shut the door and sat back on the bed. Then pounding his fist into the bed, he screamed, "Damn, Damn, Damn."

Finally, the anger passed and he buried his head in his hands and wept.

In order to avoid seeing any of the crew again, T'Pol had arranged for a Vulcan Shuttle to bring her to Earth. It delivered her to Starfleet headquarters. Telling it to wait, she entered the building. Passing quickly through the security scanners, she eschewed the elevator and quickly went up the stairs to the third floor. Entering into a nearly empty waiting room, she saw Captain Archer sitting by himself, looking at a pad. She crossed the room and as she neared him, he looked up and saw her. She saw a mixture of surprise and pleasure cross his face.

"Hey, T'Pol, what are you doing here?" Then his faced turned to one of concern, "Is something wrong?"

"No, Captain, but I need to talk to you. Is there somewhere we can talk privately?"

"Shouldn't be anyone in the conference rooms this time of morning. We can use one of them." They made their way to the door connecting to the rooms and then went into an empty conference room. As they sat in chairs around the table, Archer spoke up, "So, what's on your mind?"

Suddenly, to her surprise, T'Pol realized this was going to be much more difficult than it had been with the others, even Trip.

"I made this decision some time ago, but wanted to avoid any emotional goodbyes or anyone trying to talk me out of it. I am leaving Starfleet and returning to Vulcan."

Archer was stunned. This was a complete shock. He was also shocked when he realized how much he would miss her. He was forced to face something he had kept pushed down for a long time. He loved her.

Should he tell her? He knew he couldn't do that. It would just make this harder. There was no reason to believe she felt the same toward him.

"Why, T'Pol? Does it have anything to do with Elizabeth or Trip?"

"Not directly. I have been pondering whether to do this for some time and recent events have caused me to decide it is time."

"Time for what?"

T'Pol hesitated. She had not told the others of what she planned, but somehow felt she owed it to the Captain.

"I am planning to go through a Vulcan ritual. It is called the Kenara. It is intended to enable one to decide how she should proceed with her life. Based on what is discovered, I will then make a decision on how to continue."

"Is it possible you could return to Starfleet?"

"That is a possibility, but it is more likely I would undergo Kolinahr."

"Purging emotions? Is that what this is about?"

"Yes, I have felt for some time I have become too involved in human emotions." She of course omitted the fact the problems had become acute because of her experimentation with Trellium.

Just then, Admiral Gardner's secretary stuck her head in the door. Exasperatedly she said, "Here you are, Captain. The Admiral is waiting."

Archer, answering a little shortly, "I'll be there in just a moment."

T'Pol got up to leave, "I better go, you shouldn't keep the Admiral waiting."

Archer didn't know what to say. He wanted to scream at her that she couldn't do it, but he knew that would just make things worse. Finally, he decided to at least hold out a hope that she would return.

"I hate to see you go, but it is apparent you have decided. I would like to ask something of you though. May I work with Admiral Gardner so that you can stay in Starfleet and be put on extended leave. Then you would easily be able to return if that is what you decide."

"As long as I am not in any way bound to return, I see no problem in that."

"Good." After a hesitation, "I will miss you, T'Pol, a lot."

She looked inquisitively at him. She suddenly realized how much she would miss him as well. For a moment, she surprised herself as she even questioned whether she should leave. Then she shoved that thought aside. "I will miss you as well, Captain."

Giving him the Vulcan sign, she said, "Live Long and Prosper."

Then she was gone.

Archer stared at the door, suddenly feeling as if a part of him had gone with her. Then he pulled himself together and headed for the Admiral's office.

For the rest of the morning Shuttles passed up and down between Enterprise and the Earth, starting the crew on their journeys. For the bridge crew, they left for their destinations in differing frames of mind.

Trip, having recovered somewhat, worked to looking forward to seeing his parents and old friends again. But he knew it would be some time before he would fully accept what happened.

Hoshi and Travis on the other hand, looked forward excitedly and with a touch of nervousness to their adventure. They would be alone together, camping together, for some time.

T'Pol boarded a Vulcan Cruiser that would bring her to Vulcan. Determinedly, she spent her time in mediation, concentrating on the path ahead.

As for Malcolm, he entered his shuttle with conflicting emotions. As the shuttle took off and headed for England, he felt his apprehension growing. It was of course driven by coming to grips with the illness of his father, but it was also due a certain ramification of that illness. For over four hundred years, a Reed had lived on the same parcel of land. He was now going to have to tell his dying father that was going to end. Although he suspected his father already realized that, making it a reality for him, especially in his current state, would not be a pleasant moment. Reed had considered not telling him, but realized that it would be cowardly to not enable his father to be part of the discussion of what should be done. In any case, he was pretty sure his father would bring it up if he didn't. Then there was the decision to be made about his mother. What would happen to her? He was sure that she would want to stay in her home, but plans had to be made for the future. Who knew where he might be when future decisions would have to be made when she became ill or died. Then there was Penelope…

A/N Thank you to all of you who are reading my story. I do appreciate it. A special thanks to aria1210 for the wonderful review.