Ding dong, bing bong.
With the sound of the school bell, I shuffle awake as the monitors turn on for the morning announcement. The monitors only showed Monodam, once again. He said nothing like last night and the monitors turned off. So much for an announcement. Welp, our third day here has officially begun. I got out of bed and got ready. I noticed how I wasn't nearly as tired as I was yesterday morning. Today, I feel a bit more energized. Don't know why, though, but I'm not exactly complaining. It just means I won't be late today. After I finished getting ready, I left my dorm, locking the door as I left, and headed off to the dining hall. When I got there, there were only a few people missing. Nice. I'm not the last one here. What an improvement. I made myself breakfast and sat down to eat, sitting in between Kaito and Gonta this time. Soon after I began to eat, the remaining students entered the dining hall and got their food too. The atmosphere today was way better compared to yesterday morning's. Everyone seems happy.
"Maaan, for a moment I had no idea what was gonna happen! I'm glad it turned out like this!" Kokichi said happily.
"Yeah, seriously…" Kaito agreed.
"Nyeh… I slept well last night. Also, I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth by myself." Himiko said proudly.
"You did all that with magic!? You're so amazing, Himiko!" Tenko cheered.
"Praise be to Atua. Surely He helped you in His own mysterious, miraculous way." Angie said while praying.
"This Atua seems to act in secret a lot…" Tsumugi said.
"Because Atua smells of danger." Angie replied.
"But...when someone coming to get us?" Gonta asked.
"Whoever does...I assume they will come today. There's no need to worry." Keebo answered.
"Today, huh? Not so sure about that." I blurted out without thinking with a sigh, instantly regretting it.
"Hmm? Why do you say that?" Ryoma asked me.
"O-Oh nothing. Just thinking out loud. Nothing important, really. Besides, who would listen to an amnesiac who can't remember anything?" I responded.
"What do you mean?" Kirumi asked.
"I think I understand what Rin is saying." Rantaro said with a sigh. "After all, this is...quite the happy ending, but-."
"But...is this really how this ends?" Kaede finished. When she said that, everyone turned to her as if she had grown 5 heads. "I-I mean, it just seems too easy. I don't think it'll end like this."
"I can't help but agree." I say, knowing full well what's about to happen. "After all, the Monokubs are still a threat with the Exisals. We're also still trapped here with no idea how to escape or how long a rescue is going to happen, if a rescue is even happening at all. In my opinion, this is far from over."
"Then...do you two perhaps wish for the killing game to continue?" Kiyo asked.
"N-No, not at all-." Kaede began to say before getting interrupted.
"Then don't ruin our happy moment, you fuckin' shank!" Miu yelled vulgarly. Kaede immediately shut up at that, but I only sighed and continued.
"Happy moments are fine, but what's happening now is a delusion. You all are wearing rose-tinted glasses and are ignoring the threats and problems that still surround us." I say sternly.
"I don't know what you and 'Kayayday' are so worried about." Kokichi pondered. "Monokuma is dead now. There's no way the killing game can continue, y'know?"
"And that's my cue to appear, kuma!" We all turned and saw Monokuma in what looked like a Jibanyan cosplay of sorts.
"...What?" Kokichi said with an expression that mixed confusion, anger, and also a look that seemed to say 'I knew it'.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Tenko shouted.
"M-Monokuma!" Kirumi pointedly.
"H-He's still alive!?" Kaito said with a pale expression.
"No, no, are you guys blind or something, kuma? I ain't monokuma, kuma." He said. "After dying in a tragic car accident, I've been reborn as a Yo-Kai! Call me Jibakuma, kuma!"
"Jibakuma…?" Keebo questioned exasperatedly.
"From now on, I'm the headmaster of the Ultimate Academy, kuma! You might feel uncomfortable at first, but eventually you'll get used to it." No one said a word for probably a good 30 seconds, maybe even a minute. "...Huh? Did I slip up?" Monokuma asked.
"No dud, ya fuckin' fraud! Go find another car to run you over! And this time, stay dead!" Miu yelled.
"Ah geez… It's such a low-level cosplay, I can't bear to look." Tsumugi said as she averted her eyes.
"I have an important question… Haven't you mistaken ghosts for yokai?" Kiyo asked seriously. "Yokai are mythological creatures first created back when humanity lived closely with nature. Back then, they were the embodiment of unexplainable natural phenomen-."
"Man, you guys are buzzkills! I was all set for adventure before you started yelling at me!" Monokuma said as he threw off his cosplay. "This is why I hate teenagers! I'd have cash for days if I was dealing with the under 10 crowd!" I didn't even want to think what a killing game with 10 year olds and younger would look like. At that moment the Monokubs entered the dining hall as well.
"Geez, it's loud in here. What's all the ruckus abou- Wait, WHAT!? Our father, who we thought was dead, is actually aliiiiiiive!" Monotaro cried out.
"No way! Papa Kuma's too hip and modern to resort to the 'Death is Cheap' trope!" Monokid argued.
"I bet a Yo-Kai did it!" Monophanie suggested.
"...No, that bit's already over." Monokuma sighed.
"It ain't over yet… I think we're still talkin' 'bout spooky stuff." Monosuke said. Monokuma turned a bright shade of red at that.
"You should have told us you were still alive! We've been making stew with your body." Monophanie said.
"Wait, if Papa Kuma's standin' here, then whose body is in the stew pot!?" Monokid asked. "Wahhhhh! Which Papa Kuma is the real one!?"
"No, they're both real." Monokuma answered.
"Huh? But, Father, you said there's only one of each of us. That we're unique, like snowflakes." Monotaro stated.
"Oh...well, yeah, there's only one of each of you guys. But I've got loads of spares."
"Gahhh!? Why do you get to have spares and we don't!?" Monokid asked.
"Of course you don't get to have spares!" Monokuma yelled. "Do you really think anyone in this day and age would tolerate the 'Death is Cheap' trope!?"
"...Huh? What does that mean?" Monophanie asked.
"But now we know. This school...has a machine somewhere that can make a whole lotta Pops." Monosuke said. That got my full attention. He's right. To make a spare, someone had to go and use a machine. That someone has to be the mastermind. And that place where the machine is located, I bet, is-. I get snapped back to reality when I hear Monokuma lick the Monokubs. Yes. He licked them. What the fuuuu-?
"I… Sorry, I can't react to this… I'm in too much shock." Tsumugi said. "Does this mean...the killing game is going to continue?"
"C-Continue? The killing game...is gonna continue…?" Kaede said as her expression turned to that of terror.
"What a pain…" Himiko said sadly.
"That's not the problem, donkey face!" Miu yelled.
"Wh-What do you mean...the killing game...is gonna continue…?" Kokichi asked with a scared look before switching it to one of happiness. "I mean, that sounds a lot less boring...so I guess it's okay!"
"No, it's definitely not okay!" Tenko yelled.
"So that's how it's going to be… If we want to end this…" Rantaro began. "We have to take down Monokuma and the person behind him."
"I predicted there would be a spare, but I did not expect it to be built within the academy…" Kirmui said with a sigh. "Either way, I assumed this would happen… This development was not surprising."
"Agreed. How disappointing." I said, sighing as well. "Well, at least this answers some of my questions and proves some of my theories. Guess I know now what to do."
"Is that so? Then you wouldn't mind if I let you in on another exciting development?" Monokuma asked as he tilted his head.
"Development?" I asked.
"Ahem! Now then, I'm pleased to announce an additional motive!"
"An additional motive!?" Kaede gasped.
"A time limit is now in effect! If a murder does not occur by nighttime, two days from now…" Monokuma began. "Then every student forced to participate in this killing game will die! Mauled to shreds by countless Monokumas from the rumored Monokuma-making machine! So unless you wanna end up as pink smears, you might wanna take this game seriously! Ahhhhhh-hahahahaha!"
"T-Time limit?" Gonta stuttered.
"What? Everyone will die?" Ryoma questioned.
"What!? That's not fair!" Tenko yelled.
"Geez, why'd you guys even come to this school if you're not gonna do the killing game?" Monokuma asked angrily.
"You're the one that forced us to come here!" Kaito screamed.
"Quick question, Father! What do you mean by 'countless Monokumas'? I thought we were up once time ran out." Monotaro asked.
"Damn right! Let the Exisals do their thing this time!" Monokid pleaded.
"But...I'd rather not go through that again… I'd feel bad if you guys tired yourselves out…"
"But if we let the Exisals get popular, we could have a real cash cow on our hands, y'know?" Monosuke explained. "The merchandising rights alone would make us richer than sultans."
"Hmmmm, sultans huh? Very tempting, but…" Monokuma said. "I won't let you kids ruin your futures! You need to have your own kids and ruin their futures!"
"D-Daddy! You love us so much…!" Monophanie cried out.
"Th-That's enough!" Kaede interjected.
"Oh. You're still here." Monokuma said while tilting his head.
"Of course! We never left!"
"Why are you doing this!? How much suffering do you want to put us through!?" Keebo asked.
"I see… Well, if you're suffering, all better hurry up and start the killing game. Puhuhu… Then you can say bye-bye to the suffering." Monokuma answered with a laugh.
"Y-You bastard!" Kaito said through gritted teeth.
"Don't you realize that working together is pointless? So just knock it off already. You know what you gotta do, don't you?" Monokuma asked before laughing. "You're surrounded by strangers, neither allies nor friends. No need to worry about them."
"Plus, you got the First Blood Perk! That means the first kill is free!" Monosuke added.
"But… the killing game is gory, huh? I'm startin' to feel a little queasy…" Monophanie said.
"Hell yeah! And if they don't play then they're dead anyway, and that's way more gore-ay!" Monokid cheered.
"I see… If it's gratuitous, over-the-top gore, I might be able to stomach that… Forget the killing game, then! It'd be better for you all to just die together!"
"Shut up and get the FUCK back!" Miu screamed.
"...Well, what you guys decide next is all up to you. Do whatever you want." Monokuma said happily. "You can all die working together, or you can survive on your own. It's your call. Ah-hahahahaha!" Monokuma then prepared to leave, but before he did, he turned and said something. "Oh, and by the way. Someone might want to check that your friend over there isn't hyperventilating to death. If he dies like that, it won't stop the time limit, after all." With that he left. The Monokubs left shortly behind him, saying how they were going to celebrate Monokuma's return. All eyes turned to who he was talking about. Who was it? The one who was huddled against the wall in a fetal position...was me.
To be honest, I didn't catch a word that was said after I heard the phrase "Everyone will die". As soon as I heard those words I shot up from my chair and started to slowly back away until my back was pressing against the wall. The panic started to overtake me, and I slowly slid down to my knees and clutched my head with both my hands, a cold chill and noticeable aching appearing suddenly as well. I felt myself shake as everyone's voices became static background noise. I couldn't see anything other than my legs and hands in front of my eyes. Everything else was black. There was a large pain in my chest, and it felt like I couldn't breath, like my lungs were collapsing in on itself. I felt the walls start to close in as well, threatening to end me right then and there. I couldn't think about anything other than "Everyone will die", over and over again. It was on a constant loop. It only stopped when I heard a different voice speak.
"If you don't kill within approximately 3 days, then this ship will sink and you all will drown. How unpleasant. I do hope someone kills, if only to save the others. Wouldn't that be just lovely?" Shut up, shut up, SHUT THE FUCK UP! I don't want to hear it! I don't want to see it! I don't want to RELIVE it again! I can't! I don't want to be back there!
My breathing becomes faster, paining hitting me with each breath I incorrectly take. I can't even tell if I am breathing right now. My chest is on fire, and I can't feel anything. I felt like puking and crying and tearing my arms off in frustration. Pain. More pain. Guilt, guilt, guilt, fear, fear, fear. Make it stop, please god, anyone MAKE IT STOP!
"Rin? Rin!" I hear someone say. I'm not sure. I can barely hear them and I can't see them at all. "No one's there. No one's going to save you. This is your fate, after all. People like you always end up like this." A memory surfaces, a different voice. A boy's voice. It makes my head hurt even more. Please just stop...please, I'm begging you. I suddenly feel something touch my shoulders, but I can't look at it. I close my eyes, in hopes of escaping the pain.
"There is no escape. You should know that by now. You've brought this upon yourself." Another memory. Same voice as before. A swarm of emotions and thoughts hit me, flooding my senses. I hear people scream, cry, yell, panic, and then I hear bullets. I feel fear, dread, horror, and realization that I'm powerless. There's no escape, and there never will be. I then felt something pull my face upward out of my hands. My eyes open in surprise, and I can see a figure. I can't make out who it is exactly, but I can see their pure red eyes.
"Just focus on my eyes. Can you do that?" I understood what the voice said and did my best to nod. They have red eyes. These eyes...they look like they've seen a lot, but… I can see that they still belong to someone kind, I think. I then feel the hand on my shoulder again and turn to look at who is touching me. I, again, can barely make out their face, but I can see their olive green eyes.
"You're going to be ok. Nothing will hurt you, I promise." The new voice said. This person sounds...so concerned, and their eyes are full of worry. Why? Why would these people worry about me? Why would-?
"Don't think about anything else. Just focus on calming down." The first voice said sternly. I looked back at the red eyes and nodded. I didn't notice until the last few moments, but my breathing had started to slow back down to a normal pace. Slowly, my sight began to return to me and the pain started to fade. The person holding my face was Maki, and the person grasping my shoulders was Kirumi. I blink a bit before noticing everyone is around me with concerned looks.
"Wh-Wh...W-" I tried to speak, but my voice sounded raspy and staggered. I swallowed my spit before trying again. "Wh-What happened? Why are you all…" I trail off as I stare at everyone, unsure about what just happened.
"You were having a panic attack." Maki said, getting up from where she was.
"P-Panic attack?" I parroted.
"Dude, you scared us all to death!" Kaito said.
"I-I…" I didn't really have a response. Not like I could really answer, even if I wanted to. The pain may have faded, but I can still feel a bit of throbbing in my chest and throat.
"Here." Kirumi offered me some water. I took it out of her hand and shakily brought it to my mouth. I choked a bit on the water, but was able to get some of it down.
"H-How long was I…?"
"We don't know. We were hoping you could answer that." Kiyo said.
"Yeah what the fuck happened? We thought you were dying and shit!" Miu said.
"I…" I clutched my head with my free hand, now feeling how sweaty and cold my head feels. "I remember hearing the phrase 'everyone will die', and everything is hazy afterwards. I don't remember what anyone said after that."
"Why did you panic so much? I know it's only natural to be scared after the time limit was announced, but this is worse than just that. What caused such a reaction?" Shuichi asked.
"I-." Remember, none of them can know. My hand unconsciously shoots up and clasps over my mouth, shutting me up. Everyone, including me, was completely shocked by the action. I can't stay here. "I-I… I'm sorry, but I just...can't right now." I stand up, shaking a bit while I do, and I quickly make my way out of the dining room.
"Wait, Rin!" I heard before someone grabbed my hand. I know it's Kaede, and I know she just wants to help, but…
"I'm sorry, but I think I just want to be alone right now." I pull my hand out of her grip and leave, not even looking back at them as I do. I start walking back to my dorm, the walk quickly turning into a sprint.
I reach the dorms and rush to my room, slamming it shut and locking the door. I immediately fall to my knees and clutch my head. I didn't know what to do, and I was starting to panic again. What's going on? Why did I react like that? Why do I feel like I can't let anyone know? The panic was starting to overpower my senses again, but then an idea came to mind. I pulled out my Monopad and turned on the music. I then put on my headphones and just thought about the music. I let the different songs take over my thoughts, allowing me to calm down. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. Breathe in, breathe out.
After an hour of just calming down, I could finally relax and think through everything logically. There was no need to panic. Why? A couple of reasons actually. Well, Monokuma's own words. He was very particular with what he said. He said "every student forced to participate in the killing game will die". He didn't say everyone will die. He specifically said "everyone forced". Now that could mean a couple of things. He could be saying the mastermind, who isn't being forced to participate, won't die. He could also be implying that none of us are being forced to participate in the game. Could that mean we are all willing participants? I can't imagine that everyone here willingly wanted to be a part of this, but I can't imagine that they'll kill everyone.
That leads me to believe in the second reason I shouldn't panic. This is a killing game, one that seems to have taken a lot of time and resources to set up, so why would they just throw it all away by killing everyone? It doesn't make any sense. So either Monokuma is bluffing, or he is serious about what he said but knows it doesn't apply to any of us. If that's the case, in any situation, we won't die. A sigh of relief escapes my lips. See, was that so hard? All I needed to do was calm down and think about it logically for just a second. Now, all that leaves is what I should do.
Right...what I should do… What should I do? I'm not really sure what to do after what happened to me earlier. A panic attack… that experience was horrible. I still feel sick from it. So many foriegn emotions flooded into me, and I saw fractured memories that made no sense...or did they? I don't know. I'd rather not think about them again. They gave me...chills. And what they could mean? And that voice… Could they be… Am I…?
Knock, knock.
A knock on the door brings me out of my thoughts. I stood up and opened the door. To my surprise, it was Kirumi waiting, holding a tray with what looked like tea, cups, and other things like sandwiches, cakes, and scones. "Kirumi? What are you doing here?"
"I thought I could ease your mind with some tea I made. May I enter? "
"Sure, I don't mind." I let her in and she set down the tray on the coffee table. She then motioned for me to take a seat in one of the chairs. "You know you didn't have to do this."
"It is my duty to help make sure everyone here is comfortable. Serving others is what every maid desires."
"R-Right." I said, choosing to not argue with her. I always forget that Kirumi is like that, with her "selfless devotion" as a maid, but honestly, it's still nice that she wanted to help me after the scene I made in the dining hall. After I took my seat, she poured the tea into one of the cups and handed it to me. "Thank you." I say before I take a sip, causing my eyes to widen. The tea was some of the best tea I've ever had. "This is amazing! You made this?"
"Indeed. Please, enjoy the tea and the other items I have prepared to the fullest." Kirumi said with a smile. It was a little weird though, since she was just standing next to me.
"You can sit down if you want." I offered.
"If I sit down, then I cannot serve you." Kirumi stated. I stifled the urge to sigh. Under normal circumstances I would prefer her to enjoy this tea with me, but…
"I won't argue with you about it today. After all, this is a really nice gesture, and I really appreciate it. Especially after what happened." I took another sip of the miraculous tea before coming up with an idea. "If that's the case, then I guess I have a request for you."
"Is that so? What would you like me to do?"
"Could you tell me more about yourself while I enjoy this tea? This is a good opportunity to get to know you better." Kirmui looked a little surprised at the request, but softly smiled and nodded.
"If that is what you desire." Kirumi said. "Well, to start, I suppose I can begin by telling you the kinds of people I have worked for."
"That sounds interesting." I say before I take a bite of one of the sandwiches Kirumi prepared. Amazing…
"According to my memories, the last person I served was an author of light novels."
"A writer, huh?" That feels...strangely applicable to something, but I dismiss the thought.
"He had so many ideas, but he was in turmoil because he could not write them all." That also sounds strangely applicable to something. "So, I offered advice on writing quickly. After listening to me, he was able to publish a novel per month. He was quite grateful."
"O-One per month!? That's incredible! I've never heard of someone who could write that much in such a short time!" I exclaimed. "Who else have you served?"
"Before him, I served a politician from a foreign country. I served him as his maid, but also acted as his mentor in Mahjong."
"Mahjong? Was that necessary for a politician?"
"Yes. The country has a peculiar system. They decided everything with Mahjong. The person I served won against all his rivals and became prime minister."
"Wow, you must be quite the Mahjong player to get him to that level of skill. Perhaps we can play it together one day."
"You play Mahjong?"
"Not sure. It sounds familiar. Besides, I like games, I think." I answered with a laugh. "But seriously, you're incredible. You seem to always serve and help these incredible and successful people."
"I complete requests as a maid would do. Which is why…" Kirumi began. "If I serve you, then you will be able to walk the same path of success."
"...What?" I asked, confused about what she was saying.
"I see immense potential in you, Rin. Similar, if not greater to the people I have served in the past. You may not remember your past, nor think you are capable of much compared to the rest of us, but if I support you, I am sure you will become successful." I didn't really know what to say to that.
"Do you...really think so?" I managed to ask after a few moments of stunned silence.
"I do. You have already shown what you're capable of multiple times." Kirumi answered.
"I don't know. There's just…no way."
"Why do you say that?" Kirumi asked.
"It's not like I've done anything..." I sighed before I continued. "I haven't been able to encourage anyone like Kaede or Kaito, or help anyone like you. Not to mention I completely fell apart in front of you all this morning. I can't even remember anything, I don't know what talent I could possibly have, and I don't even know if I was a good person before this."
"Yet despite that, you still hold yourself accountable for our well being." Kirumi refuted. "You can't remember anything, yet you seem more concerned about us than yourself. Other than worrying about your past and lost memories, you focus on us and whether you are helping us escape. You seem to believe that you should bear most, if not all, the responsibility in this situation, pressuring yourself to solve the problems facing us. And you make your panic attack this morning sound like it was your fault and it inconvenienced us, which is not true. You appear to have many worries, but try to hide it immediately, not wanting to bother anyone with it. As a maid, I hope I can help you with this burden you seem to place on yourself by supporting you in any way I can."
"B-But I'm just-."
"Rin, humility is a virtue, but you are self-deprecating when you always compare yourself to us. You are clouded by your own beliefs and have trapped yourself behind a wall. Instead of seeing past the wall, you avert your eyes from what you are really capable of. That is why… I cannot leave you alone."
"Kirumi…"
"And may I remind you, that you were the one who said that we should rely on each other. If you need help with anything, I, along with the others, will be glad to help you." Her words hit me like a metal pole to the back of the head. So this is what hindsight feels like.
"Huh. Now I feel like an idiot for overthinking things." I said while chuckling. "You're right. I really should rely on you guys more often. This gives me a lot to think about."
"I see. I am glad to have helped." Kirumi said with a smile. "And I do hope you consider my suggestion about your potential. I would be glad to help you see it like I can."
"Maybe. I'm still not sure if I have this potential you seem to see, but I'll trust you and your assistance."
"If that is the case, may I ask you what you meant when you said 'I don't even know if I was a good person before this'? Did you remember something?" Shit, did I say that? I don't want to talk about it, but she does want to help me. Maybe she can help me make sense of these swarming emotions I keep feeling, at least a bit. Maybe hearing what someone else has to say could help me ignore that voice I heard.
"Well, I don't want to get into it, since I'm not even sure about it at all, but...I think I can trust you with at least some of it. But can I ask you to not mention any of this to the others? I...don't know how I would explain it to them."
"I understand. Very well. I will keep this a secret from the others until you wish to tell them yourself."
"Thank you. So about what I said…I don't want to get too in depth with it, since it still makes me feel...uneasy." I began to say. "That panic attack I had this morning, it did cause something to resurface, but the memories were all garbled. I didn't really understand it. The things I felt, it was horrible. I was scared and in pain. I was...sad...and angry...and confused. But more than that, I felt...guilty. I'm not even sure why. I can't remember anything clearly, yet these thoughts and feelings just haunt me. Even now, I feel like they might swarm me at any moment. And what's worse, I also remembered this voice saying that I deserved feeling like that. I'm not even sure what's causing me to feel this way, but...if they're memories, then…I don't even know what to think." Kirumi seemed a bit surprised by what I said. She thought carefully for a moment before responding.
"I cannot answer for the past and your past actions; however, I can say with certainty that I don't believe you are, or were, a bad person. I don't know what you might have remembered or felt during that panic attack, but from what I've seen of you, I cannot say I can see you doing anything to harm others. I will not pry, but I do hope you trust not just me, but the others with these thoughts. Regardless, I am happy to know you trust me enough to share these feelings, and I will do my best to help you overcome them. That is what I desire, not just as a maid, but as your friend." I gave Kirumi a shocked expression before it turned into a smile.
"Thank you. Really. I don't think you know how much that means." Kirumi and I talked some more about the people she's served. I finished the tea and treats she made soon after. It was incredible how good of a cook she was. I'll definitely have to make it up to her later. Maybe I'll try and make her something, though whether or not she'll accept it will be another matter entirely.
