It's as if the whole world has went silent at the dropping of his bracelet, as if the rain washed everything real away, and left fragments of the life before behind. Like, Shirayuki isn't quite sure what to do, when suddenly as if by a lightning bolt, the world shifts a little out of place. And Obi, he's just standing there one second, half trembling with a pent up feeling that Shirayuki isn't able to decipher, and then he isn't there anymore.
There's no little black cat to look at, not even a man standing where Obi was before. Instead there's something; it must be alive. It's dark, a grayish black figure, tall, taller than even Obi was, and it raises its head as if in agony, and then it's gone, disappearing in the woods. And Shirayuki isn't sure anymore what exactly she saw, but that whatever it was, it isn't something. It's Obi. if this past year has taught her anything, it's that not everything is as it seems.
A boy can also be a rat or a cat or a dog, and it isn't always clear how or why. Yet, Shirayuki can't be still, as if a part of her is already running through the woods, and she's off like a rocket right out of the house, clothes getting soaked through in what feels both like seconds and an eternity, and she's racing, racing against her heartbeat that still somehow goes faster than her legs can carry her, racing against the rain that hits her, that leaves droplets like weighted scars, that sink deeper and deeper still. And she's racing against Obi, but he's still much too far away, and she isn't sure where he's went.
The mud is slippery and slick, and her knees feel almost like they pop as down she goes, again and again, struggling to get herself back up and into a run. Why does it feel like she won't make it to him? It's not a beast she sees in her mind's eye as she thinks, she sees Obi. Amber eyes always cooled as if he's physically away from her, like his gaze doesn't mean he isn't looking away, and the way he stands, a man half-hidden, half-submerged in the shadows.
And she drops for a second, stunned as bark stings her hand in a last minute change of plans. There's a lake, murky and not far away, but Obi is not here next to her in the mud. He isn't digging through mud, trying to keep moving, trying to forget the soggy way it digs into clothes, trying to keep moving desperately.
And when Shirayuki looks up, she sees Obi, that new form, staring off. He's not too far in front of her, but she can almost see the amber glow of his eyes, if she looks hard enough, can almost tell that he's the boy, she wants to be around so often, the one that slowly began to open up to her.
Shirayuki stumbles when she stands. Even her ankles seem to tremble as she makes the seemingly slow walk to where he's at, but like those first few meetings, he pushes her away. He's already shut her out. There's no real words for this as she wraps her arms around one leg that feels hollow in her hands, almost as murky as the water nearby in her grip, and he moves to shove her off, but she clings desperately.
If Obi leaves like this, she's sure he won't come back, and Shirayuki doesn't want him to leave. She wants him to be here, by her side, wants to know him better and more, wants to stay with him. And it's nonsensical, it isn't something easy to clearly speak up about, but it's Obi she clings to, wrestling with words that sit heavy on her tongue.
"Obi." It's all Shirayuki can get out of her lips; his name on repeat, the not quite perfect answer to every question of his. He's trying to shove her away, to run away, to disappear from her life, like a shadow she'd be unable to get back.
It's when his claws dig into her shoulder that Shirayuki's even more lost, a little unsure what's happening. Her own clothes torn and beneath the tear her blood is beginning to spill. But this is Obi; this is the one that she holds special to her, not special like strange or grotesque, and even if he looks that way right now, that isn't who he is.
"Back home. Let's go back home." Shirayuki doesn't want Obi to flee from her life as if she isn't able to love him despite all of this; she's not quite sure the proper words for how she feels around him. But this doesn't change a thing, because he's still Obi, who brings a smile to her face, who brightens her days up even when he isn't trying to. "You have to go back. I couldn't bear it if you don't!" Her voice is both weak and frantic, but words aren't easy to come up with. What does leak out comes straight from her heart, and yet Shirayuki doesn't feel like it's enough as she clings to Obi, tries to make him stay with her, even if her weight or her words aren't even remotely close to enough.
"Let go... Stop it!" And Obi's voice echoes through her ears, and it sounds so different than she'd ever heard it before. "Don't you get it?"
"No, I don't get it! I'm scared. Right now listening to your voice, Obi, it's like it's not you. I've never seen anything like it. It's scary... But... But... But from now on, I just want to understand everything. From now on, just like you listened to my complaints, Obi, I want you to let me listen to yours. When things get tough, when you're scared, when you're weak, I want you to tell me. I want you to let me care about you. I want to be together. I want us to live, eat meals, study, share our troubles, like we did before, together. I want to stay together!" Shirayuki just knows this is what she wants more than anything.
"You don't have to love everything." Obi tells her finally, as he goes from the creature of moments ago back into a human, back into the Obi she's talked to for so long, "It's okay, if you were scared. It's okay."
And somehow it's Obi reassuring her and comforting her now. And yet, he's here with her, and all she can do is cling to his arm. How she wishes she could hug him, hold him close, let him hear her heartbeat, and let her hear his, let them be close and get through this together, with the other being just the right kind of comfort.
But Shirayuki can't do that, and all she can offer is her arms holding his arm close against her. The closest to a comforting hug she can give, without him turning back into a cat, without her having to carry him back home. But even that doesn't seem like a bad idea. Because no matter how they get back home, they are at least going there together.
