For it being everyone's day off, Bowser was amazed at how little activity there was outside. She could usually hear at least a little bit of life outside, and while today wasn't pin-drop silent, it was very much understated, with only one conversation going on that she could make out, and the clanging of bells or opening and closing of doors was very easy to hear. She held her head in her hand as she stared at the blank page in front of her, trying to think of any sort of plan to retake her kingdom, but seeing nothing but images of failure painting the white backdrop of the page.

She pushed the chair back and looked down, staring at the floor pouting at her own failure. Failure to stop Pasta Paisano from decapitating her kingdom, failure to make sure her kids were safe personally, failure to come up with a way to remedy the situation and bring things as close to normal as they possibly could be, no matter what she looked like now and probably would look like forever, seeing herself as a man again being quite simply foreign.

Each of the strands seemed to be a slightly different color, and cataloging them all kept her distracted for a good hour, only broken by the phone ringing outside her room. Snifit took care of it.

The calendar on the wall reminded her that she had a meeting with that Catherine lady, and the clock's minute hand was only some small distance from the time they scheduled. She got up hastily, wandering along to the closet and finding… a large volume of air where her cloak used to be. Did she leave it somewhere else?

A quick look turned up nothing, even in the dresser.

How she had allowed the time to fly by so carelessly was beyond her, but nevertheless she needed to get to the appointment on time, so with just one more comb across the small room and person-sized closet, she sighed, ran her hands through her hair, and stretched out before leaving the room absentmindedly, feeling the cold metal of the doorknob and hearing the metallic sounds of shuffling and clicking.

What could she expect? Would Catherine be any help? These questions burned at her mind and ate up enough attention that she didn't have any left to pay to a koopa with a hammer held in a belt watching her intently, notebook in hand and very clearly trying not to look suspicious as he rested his legs on a table and looked only through sunglasses.

She felt very exposed without her cloak, even with her shell on to actually cover her. People might recognize the pattern on her shell easily, and then her cover would be blown. Mario seemed to be pretty intent on finishing her off, the last thing she needed right now was to have to fight him.

Just a few steps outside of the restaurant, she let off her breath, sighing to try to let off all the stuff that's happened to her. Her hands rose behind her head to limber up, and she got herself pumped up to enter and talk as much as she could.

Here goes nothing…

Bowser stepped inside and saw only three other people besides the staff, the last one she ran her eyes over being the birdo of the hour. She beckoned her over and tapped her fingers on the booth table, eyeing the queen with a bemused, cocked eyebrow and a half-smile. Her dress rippled when she tapped her foot on the ground and she shuffled off the bench as Bowser drew near.

"I was almost worried you'd bail," she wryly admitted. "I'm sure you still want some insight. I see you don't have your cloak, though, and your out-of-it expression tells me that given that you'd have had plenty of time to put it on if you had it, that you lost it?"

Bowser's eyes didn't know what to do as simultaneous shock, indignation, and wonderment flashed across her mind.

Catherine chuckled and set her hand on Bowser's bicep gingerly, smirking as she swiveled her head slowly.

"I've always wanted to try that. Really, it was only a guess. Anyway, let's order our food so that we don't waste any time. We've got at least a couple topics to go over."

Bowser blushed and looked away, nodding as Catherine turned away to go toward the stand. She had to admit, no matter how much it made her feel weird to say, that that dress sure seems to work on her...

Bowser's face reddened ever so slightly, mostly at how she'd been acting, and she caught up just as Catherine reached the counter to order another chimichanga.

Bowser decided to pay for her own food, so as to not feel as if she's relying on anyone. Catherine wasn't about to step in, given how relatively poorly she's paid for her services every session. The two women repeated their number to each other and turned back to their booth just to notice it was taken already by a koopa with a pair of sunglasses and a hammer.

Catherine instantly got cooler. Her head nudged towards Bowser's, and she whispered her discontent.

"Here," she suggested instead, "let's go over to the other side."

Bowser, confused, just followed her since she probably had a good reason. The seat they picked wasn't adjacent or in front of the koopa, and Catherine's shoulders relaxed somewhat as she sat on the corner of the bench, her legs crossed at the feet in an attempt to come off as casual, whispering out of the corner of her snout.

"He's been following you for a while, try to keep your eye out for him."

Bowser nodded, confused. Figuring the food would take a while to make, Catherine turned to face Bowser, looking her directly in the eyes.

"So... let's get started, you said you're not used to your current... situation? I can't say I have any experience with that, I went the long and hard way to get to where I am, but I can give you a few pointers. I imagine you're still not sure about any of this and that you feel unsure about what right you have to call yourself a woman, right? Even though it just feels... right, like it's what you're supposed to be?"

Bowser nodded, she had just sort of pushed all that to the back of her mind but it never really went away, she just tried not to notice it happening. "More or less."

Catherine nodded. "It's not terribly uncommon to experience. You're not wrong for feeling them, though the feeling themselves are wrong. You know what I mean? You can't be blamed, but there's no reason for you not to be a woman. You were never really a man, or at least never considered yourself the same as other men, right?"

Bowser sunk back, her face contemplating her past as she slowly, but surely, nodded to the question.

Yes, she supposed. They went back and forth on that for a while before their food was ready, each question somewhat uncomfortable as she felt equally vulnerable, revealing things she had never let anyone in on, even when she had been aware of it.

When the cashier called out their order, Bowser didn't react, lost in thought. Catherine gave her an understanding look, sighed, and closed her eyes as she shifted off the booth and went to grab their food.

Bowser scratched at her scalp in contemplation, her foot tapping the ground. Her eyes wandered around and she noticed that the hammer koopa was still sitting where he was, writing in that notepad. She better not give too much away.

Catherine returned and set the plates on their sides, and Bowser grabbed her knife, cutting into the fried tortilla. She dragged the jagged edge down as her companion went to get their drinks, impatient to get into it and agape mouth slightly watering at the sight.

"I can't believe what I was missing," she said absentmindedly, spearing into her slice as Catherine came back and set the glass of Chuckola Cola to Bowser's side. She nodded thanks, and got a good sized bite out of the piece of chimichanga, sipping out of the straw at the same time. Catherine shook her head, suggesting Bowser needs some propriety training. Bowser, without swallowing, asked what for.


She disregarded the stuff about rules of proper behavior, but she did take note of stuff like how to walk properly. She started practicing as soon as they had finished their meal. They walked outside and as soon as they hit the sunlight, Catherine heavily suggested they return to Bowser's room. Quietly, she whispered that she had something very important to mention, and that it had something to do with the koopa.

Bowser acquiesced.

The two of them silently started walking toward the east, Bowser consciously swinging her hips to get used to the motion.

They walked into Bowser's room, locked the door, and Catherine took Bowser's cloak out of her purse.

Bowser, confused, just asked "what?"

Catherine sighed, her eyes closed.

"The Koopa Kingdom hired me to spy on you. The hammer koopa was also a spy for them. They really would like you to stay away so they can win a war against the Mushroom Kingdom finally, and raise your kids to carry on that legacy. I only took the job so that I could warn you about it. You're really not popular at all among the nobility of your own kingdom."

She knew this sort of thing was going to happen eventually, but she was amazed how quickly that the couped Koopa Kingdom could come to such a quick, correct conclusion to who she was. Not to mention, Catherine didn't have much of a moment to contemplate before she also figured out. Really, it seemed her disguise was… less effective than she imagined.

She sighed.

"I'm pretty certain that I'll have to. I really have no plan, no upper hand. I'll have to lay low for a while, basically all I really can do is try to improve my acting."

Catherine set her hand on Bowser's shoulder. She could feel the royal breathe shallowly but slowly, upset but restraining her behavior. Her shoulders were twitching, and her eyes stayed half closed no matter where they were looking.

"It's not acting, remember. It's just behaving more in line with how other women are taught to move and talk."

Bowser's eyes rolled, but she nodded.

"Now," the birdo sighed, "the other spy will be suspicious of us if I don't go out there out of breath, and I'm actually pretty terrible at faking that, even if I can fool the typical person into thinking I had enjoyed my time with them. So..."

She moved her arm toward her shoulder, idly rubbing the strap down. "we'll have to do something strenuous."

Bowser felt very strange, and didn't really enjoy the thought, rubbing at her wrists as her eyes looked everywhere but the birdo.


At the very least, she was very professional about it and didn't display very much outward, obvious affection during their activities, seeing as neither had any pretenses. They didn't spend too long, either; most of the time was really spent with further training.

Catherine, after a few minutes, pushed herself off Bowser's bed and went to dress herself up again, getting her coat on just as Bowser's arms fit through the holes in her shell.

"Well," Bowser started, before cutting herself off. Conversation right now would just be too awkward for her.

Catherine just shook her head.

"Just remember, you have to be careful about what you say, and to whom."

Bowser sighed and nodded. She wanted to say something in return, but couldn't find the words. Catherine just put her hands on Bowser's shoulders and nodded to her, keeping eye contact the whole time. "It's not entirely hopeless, you still have a chance. The barons are just starting on their plans. Go out and get your kids and kingdom. Also, I left some ex-post-facto contraceptives in the drawer. I'd suggest you use them."

Bowser was left staring at the door, mouth ajar.

Her mind wandered, sitting back down on her chair as she contemplated what Catherine told her. The typewriter still lay unused, page blank, and she stared into it as she came up with bombs of ideas after another. She didn't even know where the koopa kingdom was, Catherine seemingly didn't think to tell her, so a plan of attack was pretty far out of the question. Going out to find them would be necessary, a trip out to scour the world for those do-nothing villains. And she was usually the villain! They ought to learn who's highest in the villainy pecking order, and it was her! She'd teach them!

Only, she still needed to get back on her feet. She was getting pretty far, but she knew she didn't have close to enough to get her by on a trek out to the world to scout for her enemies' castle.

It seemed she would have to do some more odd jobs.


Her first was to get zapped. It wasn't specifically to get zapped, it was to help set up an electric fence, but she got zapped all the time because she wanted to do it as quickly as possible and didn't pay a bit of attention toward safety, or basic situational awareness, and each time she touched the fencing for the first few times, the power made its way through her.

Besides that, she had to backtrack a good 300 feet as she realized that the yard was longer and more oddly shaped than she had thought, each wasted step growing even worse as she had already started feeling pained each step. It wasn't until she was to the offending post that she stopped, took a break, and looked to see a nail through her foot. She grimaced, ripped it out, and threw it to the side.

The owner of the house watched sheepishly, and profusely thanked her once the last post was tied to the fence and gave her 130 coins for her troubles, inviting her inside to patch up the hole in her foot.

Her second job had involved heavy walking, which wouldn't be an option, but as she got back to the help wanted board, she saw a job that would pay four hundred and twenty coins, a staggering amount. All she needed to do was…

Ah, that's what that number was about.

Each cigarette she rolled was five coins, and she was exhausted after the fiftieth; she had rolled eighty-five before running out of enough components. The thanks was profuse, her skill praised, the extra five coins paid, and the surplus roll attempted to have been given to her but she had them keep it.

The third and final was typesetting, very boring but the coffee was good. By this point she really didn't want to think about work any further and was more than ready to go home, cloaking herself to remind herself of the warmth of her bed. She was paid 125 coins for her efforts, and made a beeline for the bed and breakfast, taking note of a certain koopa leaning against a wall.

Snifit was in, making himself something to drink. Bowser was surprised that she was surprised to see him, but she was.

He turned toward Bowser and waved, leaning against the counter.

"So, how were the jobs?"

She scratched her scalp and sighed.

"Utterly boring! Even tax day was more exciting! I swear, it just makes me want to get to rebuilding as soon as possible!"

Snifit smiled slightly behind his mask, relieved to see the brute acting a slight bit more like usual. His tea whistled, so he went to grab the cups.

"Well, Bowser, that sounds like as good a motivation as any."

Bowser just waited patiently for the tea, stomping her foot as she looked outside toward the newly beginning rain.

At least the tea tasted pretty good.

She was so tired, all she could think about was sleeping, which lead to her not getting any sleep at all. She groaned, frustrated with her situation in general.