"I'm going out for a few hours, Susan. Keep the place running in my absence." Standing from behind her desk, she smoothed her palms over her clothing fastidiously trying to take the focus off where she was going.
"I know it might be out of place for me to ask, but where are you going?" Susan cast a critical eye over the other woman-her friend- and knew she was up to something.
"No point lying to me, Hermione. I can read you like an open book."
Shoulders slumped forward, she stood in silence for a fleeting minute, eyes rolled as if defeated. She exhaled sharply. "Fine. I'm going to get a paternity test," she admitted. Pushing a curl behind her ear and smoothing her hands over her skirt once more nervously to wait for the other woman's reply.
"W-Why?" she stammered, slightly taken aback, "Are you so desperate you need to enlist the help of a Muggle Doctor?"
"I know," her voice a whisper and cheeks red, she took a step forward towards the other woman. "I can't go on living without knowing whose they are. It's tearing me up. Every morning I wake up and it fills me with dread knowing I must go another day without knowing who their father is."
Susan exhaled loudly and closed the gap between the two. Taking Hermione's hands in her own, she looked her friend in the eye with purpose.
"Does it matter, really? Will you love them any less depending upon who sired them? I honestly do not think you will. Once they are born and whether their hair is the fiery hue of a Weasley or the cool blonde of a Malfoy, you will love them unconditionally." She squeezed Hermione's hands gently to show her it would all be ok, "And as little I think of Lucius, I honestly believe he will take care of them regardless of what lineage they come from. I've seen the way he looks at you lately. The way he watches you intently as a smile tugs just so at the corner of his lips. How his eyes light up when you enter a room. He's got feelings."
Hermione waved a hand airily, dismissing her friend of many years. Absurd.
"Don't shrug my observations off, Hermione. I've seen the way you look at him, too. I wish you two would just cut to the chase and admit your feelings and live happily ever after instead of tiptoeing around the subject at every corner." She dropped her hands and turned away.
"You live together, you share his bed, he lays your body down of a night, you show him the affection he so desperately desired, and yet you both claim there is nothing between you."
"It's complicated," Hermione interjected hesitantly
"What is so complicated? You're a woman. He's a man. You sleep together, you live together. The pieces are there, all you need to do is put them together."
"We sai-"
"What you said is null and void now. You originally said once you fell pregnant to him you would basically wipe your hands of him and now here you are living in his manor. Hell, you are warming the bed of the wealthiest wizard in possibly the world, and you are hesitant to take the relationship any further."
"And there lies the problem. I don't want people to think I am laying a stake to the Malfoy fortune."
"And?" Susan asked.
"And?" Hermione echoed softly. "And I don't want to be tarred with that brush."
"You are impossible," Susan snapped, turning back to face Hermione. "You have a man who is obviously smitten with you, or he wouldn't have moved you into his home and you are worried that people will think you are after his money? You both deserve each other because you are both stubborn as mules."
"I've got to go, or I'll be late. I'd love to sit here and argue with you for the rest of the day, but muggle doctors wait for no one. However, if you wish to continue this conversation when I get back, I would be more than happy to."
"It doesn't matter what others think, Hermione. Worry about your own happiness." Were the last words she heard Susan call out as she walked away and she wondered, maybe she was right.
o-o-o-o-o-o
"Twins," the doctor stated as she watched the babies on the screen of the ultrasound machine, guiding the probe over her stomach with the purpose, measuring and analysing the babies.
"Yes," Hermione confirmed. "I'm just concerned as I don't know who the father is…"
The doctor's single raised brow told Hermione that this blonde-haired woman was judging her mercilessly in her head right now and she had to fix the situation.
"I didn't mean it like that," Hermione began. "I was married. Long story short, he was warming another woman's bed. I started seeing someone and found out I was pregnant not too long after… My ex-husband has twins in his family, the man I am currently seeing doesn't. I am sure I wasn't pregnant prior to meeting this other man, but I just need to be sure they are his and not my ex-husbands."
"And will the outcome of the test change anything based on the father of the children?"
" N-no," Hermione stammered. "But I can't go on not knowing. My ex-husband's Family i-"
"Unbearable? I get it. I had one like that too." She smiled sympathetically.
"And the new one?" The doctor asked, trying to take the focus off what she was about to do to Hermione.
Tearing open a packet of instruments, she laid them down on a table beside Hermione. Swabbing at her skin with an alcohol wipe to sterilise the skin, sinking a small needle into Hermione's skin to numb her for what was about to come.
"He's… Older than me. Lost his wife and only son quite a few years back. He's lonely I guess and wanted a child in his life."
"This will hurt. I'm sorry," the doctor threw in mid-conversation.
Hermione's eyes bulged out of her head as she saw the length of the needle the doctor was about to stick through her abdomen and into her uterus and all the colour drained from her face.
"And do you love him?" The doctor pressed, trying once again to take the focus off the needle she was now pressing through flesh.
"I… It's complicated," she bit through gritted teeth viciously as the pain radiated through her entire body. So much for the pain being numbed.
"Interesting," the doctor replied with a half-feinted interest, pulling the needle from her abdomen and sliding it into a plastic tube.
"He's well off. I don't want people to think I am after him for his money," she interjected, feeling as if she needed to explain herself a little better, so it took nothing out of context.
"And having his babies doesn't project that sentiment at all?"
"I… I-" For once she had nothing to say. Rendered all but mute on the subject, she was only pulled from her stupor when the doctor spoke once again.
"I'll test the sample and compare it against the sample you gave me from one of the potential fathers. I'll email the results to you in seven to ten days with the results."
Hermione nodded curtly, pulling her shirt back over her slightly swollen midriff and slid off the examination table.
She had to keep reminding herself… No matter whose they were, she would love them unconditionally.
o-o-o-o-o-o
"Do you have any Scottish blood in the Malfoy line?" Hermione asked gently, a book clutched tightly in her hand as she flicked to the next page lazily perched upon a wing-backed armchair in his library.
He tensed and stopped on the spot, exhaling sharply through his nose, turning glacially to look at her, his face screwed up in mild disgust. "I can assure you we come from a long line of top British stock," he said proudly, almost peacocking as he continued walking a few steps past her before turning on his heel and doubling back. Grasping the book gently between his index and forefinger, he plucked it from her grip and perused the cover. He should have known.
"Narcissa went through an Outlander stage too. She was so obsessed with Jamie Fraser I was certain she would hand me the divorce papers if someone that even mildly resembled him walked past her." He exhaled sharply from his nose as he handed Hermione the book back, standing and looking down upon her with a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
"If the unsheathing of a sword turns you on so, it might light your fire even further to know that I can handle a sword just as well as your fictitious lover and if it will quell the burning desire deep within, I can seek forth a dueling partner and put on a show to fill the hole in your heart. Perhaps it's the way he can sit astride a gallant steed and gallop through forest and dale with ease and finesse? I know it may come as a shock to you, but not only can I handle a sword, I can ride a horse quite well also. Now, tell me, what has this Jaime have that I don't?"
"A deep Scottish brogue that can set hearts a flutter? Fiery locks of hair? The way in which he conducts himself sexually, assertive without being overbearing." She sighed dreamily.
"You had someone with the fiery red hair you seek and look where that ended up," he snapped bitterly.
A few moments passed as she looked off into the distance, eyes glazed over as if she were in deep thought. "First, you sound incredibly jealous of a man whose only existence is that of ink on paper, and secondly I didn't know you could ride, and thirdly I would like to forget about that mistake in my life."
"I have a stable full of horses down the back, Hermione. One of my stallions is a direct descendant of napoleon's horse M-"
"-Marengo." She interjected. "You don't seem the type that has ever thrown a leg over a horse, much less have a stable full of them. And why am I only learning of this now?"
"I wasn't aware anyone who knew how to ride fit a certain profile. As you know, the Malfoy family comes from a long line dating back to and well before the Victorian era. If it has escaped your notice, and I am sure it hasn't, the whole Manor was built in the Victorian era and thus traditions have been passed down from generation to generation. Back many moons ago we used to cavort with Earls and Dukes alike and to do so we had to learn to ride with the best to rub shoulders."
He sat on the armchair Hermione was perched upon and grabbed her hand and held it within his own subconsciously.
"Obviously, back in those days' witchcraft was a hangable offense so we couldn't exactly fly our brooms around so, we had to learn to ride. We passed the horses down from generation to generation and yes, even Draco knew how to ride, not that he would ever admit it in front of his peers. I've got a whole barn full of old carriages and wagons from days gone by. Some made by the best carriage makers in the world and could fetch a pretty penny, but I couldn't bring myself to sell things that have been in the family so long."
"And I am only finding out about all of this now?" She snapped the book shut with a hollow thud and placed it on the arm of the chair opposite to him.
"You never asked." He shrugged. "I can show you if you like."
"I'd like that. But not right now I'm not feeling too well."
"Do you need anything? A warm blanket, cold compress, food, water-"
"Lucius." She smiled. "I'm just exhausted. Apparently, your body works twice as hard to grow two babies and it takes its toll. Couple that with me getting slammed with a million things to do at work, I just-" She shrugged, "I just don't know how I am going to cope."
"I wish you would stop being so stubborn and resign. I want you to enjoy our children, not feel as if they are a burden on your career. You don't even need to work Merlin knows I could support you and 100 children easily."
"We talked about this," she warned sternly.
"We talked about a lot of things, and they haven't exactly done the way we planned…" He trailed off, still gripping her hand in his own. "At the end of the day, it is your choice, but I see every day you are slowing down, you are getting weaker, more tired, and you won't be able to keep going on this way forever. I know you have a point to make, but the point has been made. A woman can do the job you do."
"I worked so hard, Lucius. Too hard to let it go. Why can't I be a mother and have a career?"
"Because you are too bloody stubborn to use the house-elves, you have at your disposal. Do you think you are going to have a child nursing off each nipple while you write your reports at work? The logistics just won't work."
Her face fell, and she snatched her hand away as if he were lava. She had never actually given a thought to any of this, and now she was second-guessing her choice. How would she raise two children and run a secret underground world at once?
"You have everything here, Hermione. At your disposal. Just think about it, yeah? I will not leave you high and dry if that is what you are worried about. You are the mother of two of my children and what mine is yours, whether or not your stubborn arse agrees with that sentiment."
He stood and began pacing the room again, casting a glance at her on every pass. "You need to push aside your pride and the worry of what others will think. Who cares what people think of you? Do you think I got this far in life worrying about the opinions of others? A wolf never worries about the opinion of a sheep, Hermione."
She let the words weigh heavily upon her. Sighing painfully, she stood up and closed the gap between them, taking his hand in hers as she studied his hand, noting how much larger than hers they were. Flipping his hand over, she studied his palm intently, running a single digit over the smooth skin as his fingers gently fluttered in her grasp.
"I asked this once before, and I need an answer now. What are we?" Voice whisper-soft, she watched as he recoiled his hand from her grasp only to use it to tilt her chin to look him in the eyes.
"We can be anything you want us to be." Brushing his other hand feverishly across her cheek, brushing her curls from her face.
Closing her eyes for a moment, she wondered what she really wanted from this. At first, she never wanted him, only his ability to give her a child and now, well… now she really didn't want to move forward in life without him.
Taking a steadying breath after gathering her thoughts, she opened her eyes again to look at him. "Lucius. I want you. I want us. But-"
"No. No buts, Hermione. I've heard every excuse you can come up with. You are worried about what people will think. You are worried people will think you are after me for my money. You can't stand to think people may assume you are getting everything handed to you on a silver platter. Well, who cares what people will assume? You have nothing to prove, Hermione."
He pulled away, throwing his hands high in the air in frustration, and paced the room again. She was so frustrating and yet totally endearing at the same time.
"You have clawed your way to the top of a male-dominated world and succeeded. You have literally shown everyone what you can do. If you are worried about what they think, then you are not the woman that I thought I fell in love with."
He stopped pacing again, turning on his heel to face her. Watching as her face dropped for a second and then her eyes opened wide.
"What did you say?"
"You know exactly what I said, Hermione. Don't play dumb."
"You love me?" She asked stiffly. A lump forming in her throat. This was the reality she didn't want to face right now. She knew she loved him, but if she denied it enough, she could make herself believe it wasn't true.
"I do. And use that information as you like. If the feeling is mutual, then that is well and good. If not, so be it. I won't think any less of you and I will still love you as much as I do now."
"I love you too," she blurted out, clapping a hand to her mouth as if trying to catch the words before they fell.
There it was. The stark reality of it all. As usual, Susan was right, and there was no denying anything now.
The silence was thick in the room as the two of them tried to process in their heads what had just happened.
Was this really what she wanted? A life with Lucius Malfoy by her side? She exhaled sharply out of her nose. He was going to be there anyway regardless of if they were in a romantic or platonic relationship if the babies were his, so she may as well follow her heart and not her head for once in her life.
"So, where to from here?" She asked gently, doe eyes getting lost in his strong, steely grey ones pushing away all the uncertainty from within her.
"Well," he whispered, grasping her chin in his hand once more, "that is entirely up to you."
