ZW 2014 Day 5: Unrequited
AN: Some dialogue taken from Season 3
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Being Human
When he looks back, now that he's happy, he wonders if his love was love at all, or if it was just the pedestalization of all of the good features of a woman he now knows is just as imperfect as the rest of them.
The first crack came when she disappeared into the night with Zuko to find the Southern Raiders. His perfect girl, a beautiful picture in a gilded frame, took on a slightly dark cast. Just a little corner blemish. Still, the tiny flaw was there, and although at the time he thought it was inconsequential, as Aang grows with her into adulthood, it grows larger and larger until the colors have turned muddy.
"I didn't forgive him," she says. "I'll never forgive him."
Well, Aang thinks, at least she didn't take revenge after all. A little prick of something sticks him when she wraps her arms around Zuko's neck, but he pushes it aside. Katara looks beautiful in the setting sun, with the reflection of the orange sky sparkling in her dusky blue eyes. Things settle down in camp after that, now that Katara doesn't hate Zuko anymore. Or rather, in beach house. He's showing off a little in the courtyard, making each blast just a little hotter than it needs to be and focusing just a little on flexing his arms when they bring down their hands after the kata is finished.
Sokka bursts into the courtyard with the flier for the Ember Island Players, and Aang forgets to check to see whether Katara was impressed. Despite Zuko's protests, they go to the play. "A woman is playing me?!" Aang demands, and Toph snorts gleefully. Act 2 ends with Actress Katara swooning over Actor Zuko, a scene that brings bile to the back of his throat. Aang stomps out of the theater, to the extent that an airbender can stomp, and goes to sulk on the balcony.
She follows him shortly after, and she's even more beautiful in the moonlight than she was in the sunset. Her eyes look bright, full of life and power, and her hair dances behind her in the light breeze.
"Are you okay?"
"No, I'm not! I hate this play!" He rips his hat from his head and flings it to the ground.
"I know it's upsetting, but it seems like you're overreacting."
He's not overreacting. He has a right to be jealous; they kissed at the invasion, after all. That kiss was everything to him, a goodbye, a "see you if I live through this," an "I love you," "I hope to see you again very soon. Everything. And she thinks he's overreacting to a love scene between her and Zuko. The little crack in the corner of his picture frame grows just a little larger.
"But it's true, isn't it? We kissed at the invasion, and I thought we were gonna be together, but we're not."
"Aang, I don't know."
"Why don't you know?"
"Because we're in the middle of a war and we have other things to worry about. This isn't the right time."
"Well when is the right time?"
"Aang, I'm sorry, but right now I'm just a little confused."
He's surprised and not surprised when she pulls away from his kiss. It does sting, though.
At least she's not in love with Zuko.
It stings when she takes Zuko and Sokka's side before the Comet. The Katara he knows is gentle and compassionate, and she thinks the Fire Lord should be killed? That he should kill the Fire Lord. Shouldn't she know he can't? It's against everything he believes in-everything the Air Nomads believed in-and even if she does still eat meat, everything he thought she believed. There's just no reason for her to side with everyone else. She spared Yon Rha, whom Zuko reported had come out without a scratch on him. When they saved that village, they'd blown up a factory, sure, but that's a long way from killing someone. She had done it to save lives, and even if it was unconventional, it had worked. She'd kissed him back on the Day of Black Sun. She'd been his dance partner, jumped in waterfalls with him. Her soul is bright, full of light and peace. Her position now isn't like her, and it's all so completely baffling that he loses his temper.
"Fine, when you think of a way for me to defeat the Fire Lord without taking his life, I'd love to hear it!" And he turns away in a gust of wind.
When it's all said and done, he can't hold it against her. The blemish is a little darker, cracking just a little more, a corner of the picture that can't bother him if he doesn't dwell on it too long, so he doesn't dwell. Katara stays by Zuko's side until he can sleep through the night without screaming in pain, like the angel she is. She'd never turn her back on anyone who needed her help; that's what he loves about her. Spending hours healing the broken bone in Sokka's leg, They don't speak often, what with how busy and tired everyone is. Still, when they do see each other, and her smile opens up her eyes so that they sparkle in the torchlight or the moonlight, he almost forgets the moment she wasn't on his side.
"I'm so proud of you," she says, wrapping him in a hug. The sunset in Ba Sing Se turns the clouds orange and purple, and he can smell tea leaves on the warm breeze.
He can't fight the grin shining from his face any more than the clouds can fight the sun turning them purple. "I found a way."
"I knew you would." She squeezes him tighter, and a warm, fuzzy feeling curls inside his brain. It's a perfect moment, but their third kiss is even more perfect. She was confused because of the war, he knows, and her spirit will have peace, now that the world has peace.
"Sweetie," he sighs, nearly a year later, "what am I supposed to do? The colonists won't leave, but I promised the Earth King."
She shifts, like she's about to say something uncomfortable. "I'm sure you'll do the right thing."
Not the answer he was looking for, but it's nice to know she believes in him. "Zuko's armies are ready to fight. He thinks the colonists should be allowed to stay."
Sighing heavily, she crosses her arms and looks at her feet. "We saw the colonists, Aang. They have families-happy families. How can we swoop in and force them to leave, or be separated? How would we feel if someone said we weren't supposed to be together?"
"So you think I shouldn't support the Harmony Restoration Movement?"
"I think sometimes the way things used to be isn't always the best way."
Well, Aang thinks, they disagree, but she's worked around a straight answer as well as any airbender. At least they're compatible there (not that they're incompatible anywhere else!).
The fourth crack in the frame, one more flaw in the glass, comes when he is 20 and she is 22, and the Fire Nation is drawing near civil war. Zuko has sent a letter to each of them-Aang isn't sure why he's sent two; the letters are identical, but he and Katara answer separately anyway.
"Dear Zuko," his begins.
"You have to find a way to resolve this peacefully. No one will follow Azula without her bending, and she won't be able to hurt anyone any more. I'll meet you if you'd like my help. Good luck!
-Aang."
Katara hadn't bothered with a salutation, which Aang new because he had surreptitiously read it when rolling both letters into the messenger hawk's tube.
"My dad has an old war story. When my grandfather was Chief, his brother raised an army against him. Half of the waterbenders in our village joined him, and the Fire Nation had been raiding for years. We couldn't afford a civil war." There are some words scribbled out. "I'm not telling you to kill Azula. I could never kill my brother, but I want you to remember how hard you've worked for this. Remember how hard we worked for this. My grandfather challenged his brother to a duel and won, and my great uncle was banished. Our tribe couldn't have survived a war.
"Aang will probably have better advice. I don't know why I told you that story. Just remember, Zuko, that sometimes you have to fight your own battles. Love, Katara."
Aang is left with a deep, sinking pit in his stomach and his heart in his throat. It's barbaric, to banish a man from his family. He couldn't have survived out there alone. They sent him away to die.
"Why did you tell Zuko that story?" He demands, later.
She shrugs. "I don't know. It seemed relevant at the time, but I guess it didn't help answer him."
Aang can still feel himself fuming. "You realize it's cruel to banish someone, right?"
"Oh, and it's barbaric too, isn't it," she snaps.
"I never said that!"
"But you were thinking it!" She storms away, taking most of the air in the water with her and hurling it at a tree. "We can't all afford to keep people locked in a prison forever!"
The Air Nomads would have found a way, he doesn't say. She's gone, anyway.
The last crack splits the frame across the middle, a large, diagonal schism that divides her face in half in his mind. They've tracked down Azula, just the three of them, at Zuko's request. Sh'es grown strong enough again to take on all of them, and she's winning, even when the sun has set and a full moon lights the sky. Entering the Avatar State is no match for her lightning-he can't get close enough, and none of his past lives have ever redirected raw electricity. Water rushes in his ears, and fire bursts against earth, explosively flinging rocks against each other and spattering nearby buildings with mud.
Then quiet. Whirling around, Aang looks for Azula, but she hasn't moved. Actually, she's oddly still, and he can see in the tension in her body that she's trying to move, fighting against some invisible force. Next to him, Katara too is oddly still, and only her hands curl and twitch.
She's bloodbending.
Bloodbending, the thing she swore she'd never do.
Katara forces Azula to her knees, and Zuko darts around with ropes and chains, pinning her hands behind her back. With a deep breath, Katara releases her, and Azula collapses into her brother's arms.
"Katara, how could you do this?" He shouts.
Tears spring to her eyes, those blue eyes that no longer sparkle for him in the moonlight. "I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do."
He turns away from her, slumping a little as he leans on his staff. "Take Azula back on Appa. I need some time alone."
"Aang. I love you," she whispers.
For the first time since they met, nearly 11 years ago, he can't say it back.
The tears begin to roll down her face, one for each step he takes. Azula, sedated behind them, slips into silence, and Zuko steps toward Katara. Aang spares a glance backward just as Zuko wraps Katara in a hug. Her shoulders shake as she buries her head in his chest.
But then he keeps walking, because there's nothing else for them now. This is too much.
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Years later, when Katara has gone and married Zuko, and Aang has gone and rebuilt all four Air Temples, and they're both happy, he can see things a little more clearly. They're all imperfect, and maybe he saw his people with glasses a little too rose colored, or maybe he used those glasses on Katara just a little too often. Either way, his picture of perfection has shattered, and things haven't really gone back to normal.
He's okay with that.
His love was fierce but unrequited once, then it was her turn, and now they are both content with a warm, friendly love, from a distance. It's comfortable, and probably much healthier for both of them. There's much more room for imperfection. For being human.
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A/N: Something a bit different. Does it really fit in this collection? I don't know, but these things write themselves. Feedback always welcomed. Thank you for reading :).
