A/N: Thank you guys so much for your lovely reviews. It means the world to me. Thank you. Also, since I've been slow with updating, i'll be posting five chapters for you tonight that I already have written. Much love! Limbo.


7

STEVE was the one who tightened your velcro backpack around your small shoulders as you stared into the rising sun behind the blowing trees. It must've been a little after 5 AM, since the orange clouds were beginning to mix in with the dark blue of a new sky, announcing the arrival of a brand new day.

Today was the first day of your mission with Bucky, and to say you were fixated on your ultimate goal was an understatement.

The camp didn't have a running shower, but they had a secluded and private area off to the side that provided warm water and some soap made with lye and lard. The water had to be heated up overnight by an attended fire and then left for an hour before you had to get ready to let it cool down.

When one of the girls had handed you the freshly made bar, the look she gave you scared you.

She had a certain fear in them that you couldn't quite place and it shook you to the bone.

Was she unhopeful for your return?

When you had entered the little shower, which was just four pieces of wood tall enough to cover your most intimate areas, and you dunked your mud cup into the warm water, you definitely felt like you were being prepared like a sacrificial lamb.

You felt like you were being cleansed and prepared for death.

But as you rinsed away the lye off your skin, and you shuddered against the cold winter air which was beginning to feel like sharp knives, you quickly shoved those thoughts away.

You had to focus on your goal and what it was you were actually being prepared for. This was your opportunity to give your parents what they deserve; the outcome they would want.

After your shower, you quickly dried yourself off with a long and grey rag that had been draped over the "door" for you, and you slid your arms into your heavy coat.

Quickly, to avoid getting the flu that could potentially kill you faster than any other virus ever could, you ran into your tent and slid on your attire.

It was the same one you had worn before you arrived, but Jessica had been extremely kind to you and had it washed and folded stacked neatly next to your cot.

After you zipped on your boots, Steve had shown up and ran the information with you before your departure.

None of you knew exactly how life in The Capitol was.

There had been just one agent who had ever been close enough, and it had been about a year ago.

Bucky had sent Sharon to collect information that would be vital to help their mission, including how the people in The Capitol dressed, how they wore their hair, how they behaved, and if they used any kind of special currency.

Apparently, the clothing they wore, you would have to buy when you got there. It would be possible for the camp to try and knit them so that when you arrived you would fit in right away, but unfortunately, it would not protect you during the three-day walk to get there.

There was nothing different regarding hair or currency, which was a very helpful piece to learn. It meant you and Bucky would not need to go under any crazy makeovers.

Any specific makeup look or hairdo you preferred, you were free to do as you pleased when you arrived.

The only tricky part of getting into The Capitol and not being caught was your identification.

Anyone who resided within The Wall carried a hologram ID that presented your picture, name, resident number, and occupation.

If there was anything Tony Stark left behind, it was his knowledge and technology that had been left behind and protected.

You don't know how they managed to save nearly all of it from the war and the bombing, but you didn't ask questions. It didn't surprise you that the avengers would go through such measures to have a legacy and vital equipment protected.

It had been just enough for Bruce to take it into his own hands and build an almost identical replica of the hologram ID that you and Bucky would need to present in order to do simple tasks like request a hotel room or enter an important building.

You didn't take Bruces' hard work for granted; apparently it had taken almost a year and a half just for him to make them.

It would still be a risk when you used your identification because even though your resident number was chosen with an advanced Linux method if it were to hit a miss in Hydra's system, you and Bucky could be screwed.

Your arrival in the city would simply be accepted by luck.

Steve continued to tighten your backpack as he reminded you of what would happen when you and Bucky both arrived there.

First and utmost important, you would need to find a place to live. According to Sharon, there was a residency area not too far from the center of the city. You would go there and try to get a room.

Next, you and Bucky would need to discover your surroundings.

What was Hydra doing there? Where is Hydra's main building? Were there anyone there that could possibly be there against their will? How did The Capitol work? What was life there like.

You would then need to set up your false identity, which would be the majority of the mission.

Once you both found where Hydra's main focus was and from where they worked, you would need to find your way in. You would need to gather as much intel and information about everyone as much as you could.

That is when the team had presented you with an additional ID card, except this one was physical and just a regular white laminated card.

It was a resumé and well thought out employment card, which you and Bucky would use to apply at a Hydra Facility (but not the same one to not induce suspicion). This was an important key to the mission that both you and Bucky were reluctant on participating on, but after much consideration, it was concluded it was essential to winning this.

After you found out everything you both needed to know, after the six months, you would both escape and return to camp with the intel and information gathered that could successfully bring The Capitol's society down.

One of them being the ring leader's location. It would be important to the mission to not have anything destroyed, especially The Wall.

This was the part of the mission you did not like.

Because you would not leave The Capitol without having that man from the diner killed.

Part of you felt bad for secretly planning how to divert the avenger's plan, but at the same time, you now knew that Bucky was also planning something that could potentially shock everyone.

You considered saying something to Steve as he made sure you had everything in your pack - food, blankets, med kit, and a gun with a silencer (the only thing you were allowed) - but you went against it as you remembered your promise to him.

He wanted you to help Bucky love himself again and to feel like he was meant for something more.

As you both walked out of the tent and fully into the outside world, right away you saw Bucky already strapping his own bag over his shoulder.

You know his bag held the same things yours did, except his held a military gun that would serve to protect you during the walk.

Unfortunately, you would not be allowed to take any weapons with you into the city. They would be left dug into a hole and abandoned.

Your heart skipped in your chest as you observed his dominating aura.

He wore attire similar to yours, except a male version. He had a black coat with a hood that strapped across the front of his chest. Attached to it was a hood similar to yours. You could tell he had layers of clothing under his jacket for protection, and his pants were thick and tucked into heavy boots.

A pair of leather gloves covered his hands. He was tightening the one over his metal arm when he looked over at you.

His eyes were dark and his teeth clenched as he looked you up and down. You quickly looked away and back at Steve.

Steve was tightening your tracker around your wrist.

"Remember, this will only keep you off their radar for ninety seconds and it can only be activated twice. You can only use it when you enter and leave the city," you were in a daze as you felt the need to look up at Bucky again. The pull was inevitable, "Y/N," Steve's tone was sturdy and you blinked at him, "Got it?"

He looked at you apprehensively, his grip tight over your hand. You swallowed thickly and nodded.

"Got it. Just twice. Entering and leaving."

He nodded and pulled the sleeves of your coat halfway up both hands.

He gave you one more look and then nodded with his head towards Bucky, backing away from you, and walking towards Bucky's direction.

You flexed your toes in your boots and held tightly onto the handles of your bag.

You took a deep breath and followed Steve towards Bucky.

Bucky looked at his boots and flexed his hands.

You didn't realize how much bigger he was than you until now. Maybe it was his clothing, maybe.

You cleared your throat and he looked up at you through heavy lashes.

You wondered where he had been this morning while you were showering. It's then that you catch sight of his heavy and dark bags under his eyes. Had he been up all night?

"Didn't sleep?" Your question comes out before you mean it to and Bucky's gaze quickly darkens.

"No."

You sigh deeply, not knowing if you were more annoyed by his attitude towards you that clearly hadn't changed or if you felt bad. You hoped his lack of sleep wouldn't create more crankiness or mess-ups.

"Unlike you, I don't need it." He adds. He looks up towards the sky, making his sharp jaw visible to you and you curse the world for making him so attractive. You wondered then what kind of boyfriend he was to Daisy. And you wonder about the rumor of him and the Wakanda girl. Did he sleep with her? Was he good? Your questions in your head are interrupted as he continues, "We should get going. The sun is getting brighter and we can't afford to lose one more day."

Steve looked at you both like you were his two children going off to their first day of college and then he saluted you both goodbye.

Not one word was shared as you followed Bucky into the woods until what felt like three hours later.

The entire way, he hadn't been kind enough to slow down for you, so you trailed behind him by at least fifteen feet.

You didn't want to admit to defeat, but your lungs were burning and your legs were too. It wasn't until he briefly stopped that you thanked the heavens.

As you caught up to his side, you saw what he had paused to look at.

There in front of you was an entire city. It was destroyed, defeated, and reeking of death and evil.

The broken and sharp metal of what had once been pretty buildings were now pointed into the sky. Heavy dust with lingering smoke, that had never gone away, still floated above the city like a dark halo.

You swallowed painfully, thirsty, and afraid.

Sure, he was an avenger, but the bacteria...

You looked at him, unsure.

"Bucky, we can't go through the city. We have to stay on the outskirts," he ignored you, taking a step forward and commencing his walk towards the city. You watched, unmoved, "It's too dangerous, Bucky, we don't know what is in that air—" You finally sighed and ran up to him, pulling on the sleeve of his coat, "Bucky—"

He quickly snapped around to look at you, "We are going through the city. You think I came all this way for safety? You think I care? You think I'm some kind of coward? That we'll just be taking the easy way out for everything? Or do you actually have any courageous and strong bone in that pathetic body of yours?" His words attack your ego and you practically flinch at the last question, slowly letting go of his sleeve. He's breathing hard through his nose and you watch as he runs a hand over his face. He points back with his metal arm, "It's the quickest route. We're on a timed schedule. I don't have time for safety or convenience. I'll go alone if that's what it takes. Come with me or not."

He doesn't bother giving you another glance before commencing his walk into the destroyed city. You practically hear the howl of the wind and you pull the hood higher over your head.

You consider his words. You were trying to be safer, but he was right. This would be the quickest way and it wasn't like you weren't at least partially prepared for this.

You took a deep breath and followed him.

Bucky wouldn't admit it, but he was momentarily shocked when he saw you right next to him.

He took the first step into the pavement, a dry leaf crunch under his boot. The sound echoed in the air.

You were both faced with what once was the main road, fallen traffic lights and power lines lined the street.

Cars were overturned, some destroyed completely either by fire or vandalism. The buildings, if they weren't destroyed, were broken into and also vandalized. Overgrown shrubs were beginning to grow over the street signs and into the cracks of the sidewalk.

It was also terrifying how quiet it was.

You didn't trust it.

It was obvious Bucky was reluctant just as much as you because his pace matched yours, and at some point, he had even pulled out his gun.

Your eyes darted around as you passed the empty cars and buses. One of the cars even had what appeared to be kids' toys - a stuffed teddy bear and a baby mirror - and you shuddered looking away, not wanting to know what happened here.

Bucky's gun followed his eyes and immediately you wondered how long its been that he's left camp.

"How long has it been since you've been outside like this?" You ask.

He's quiet as you both step over a fallen street sign that advertised some kind of clothing brand, and you take his silence as an answer, giving up.

"A while."

You're surprised that he responded and your eyebrows shoot up.

You wait a minute and take another bite.

"Not used to it anymore, huh?" He doesn't respond, "I can tell."

"Is this your idea of small talk?" He snaps.

"I'm just trying to make conversation. I'm stuck with you for the next six months, might as well."

"No. I'm stuck with you."

You have to force yourself not to roll your eyes. Your joyous walk continues for a few more miles until you both turn onto a street where a train now lies.

You both stare at it, confused and surprised, wondering how the hell it got there. But judging by the entry holes on the buildings on either side, it was obvious that it had probably been thrown by means of an explosion of some sort.

And you would both have to somehow get around it.

As you approached the train car, you and Bucky came to a halt.

"I'll go first since I'm heavier. Make sure it doesn't topple over or isn't booty-trapped." Bucky says, tightening his bag strap over his body, "Stand back."

You did as you were told and watched from a small distance as he began to climb into one of the cars which had its doors still open. Some bodies that had been reduced to skeletons were still inside.

You held tightly onto the straps of your backpack, apprehensively.

Eventually, Bucky had hopped out on to the other side with a huff.

He turned to face you.

"Your turn."

You took a deep breath and a step forward, the leaves and glass debris breaking under your feet.

Your eyes met, and once again it was like that first time he saw you in the tent.

You looked down at the cart cautiously before stepping onto it. You clenched and unclenched your right hand, and with your left, you used it to help hoist yourself onto the train.

It rocked beneath your weight with a heavy groan and your eyes shot up to his in fear.

He leaned his right arm on the side of the car for support, and with his left, he stretched it out for you to take.

You look down to where he stood on the ground, and you swallowed, scared at how far the jump looked.

He wiggled his fingers and you were about to stretch your own arm out to take his hand when you saw something move behind him.

A man.

"Oh, my God."

It was too fast for you to even recollect what happened, but suddenly you were on top of Bucky. You were screaming and he was cursing and you saw the silhouette of the man next to you.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Bucky shouted, until fully turning around to see what you were looking at.

He cursed before pulling you behind him to shield you. He ran you both back towards a destroyed building on the far side of the street and finally aimed his gun at the man who was groaning, a green/black substance oozing out of his mouth like foam.

Bucky didn't hesitate to pull the trigger, sending multiple gunshots into the man's chest. He fell forward onto the street, dead.

You stumbled back and found Bucky's hold on you soothing before he roughly pulled away and looked down at you, disappointed.

"Seriously?"

You inhaled deeply through your nose, feeling the dig of the building behind you.

How dare he snap at you for protecting him.

"You asshole. He was about to —"

"I don't need you to protect me. If anything, you made it worst."

"How the hell did I make it worst?"

Bucky snarled, "What if I fell on him, huh? What if we both did?"

"But we didn't!" You could feel your heart in your veins; in your head.

Bucky rolled his eyes as he swung his gun back down, relaxing his stance.

"Jesus fuck." He mumbled under his breath, walking away from you, "I don't know how you survived three years. It's like it's a joke to you."

You feel your tears in your eyes before you push yourself off the wall and walked right past him so this time you were the one leading the way.

"I do what I can." You mumble.

"Pathetic is what you are." You wouldn't cry. You wouldn't. Your pace grew faster as he continued on, "You don't—" he grabbed onto your arm, making you quickly turn around and face him. You didn't hide the tears and you knew very well he could see them. He looked into your eyes with his pretty blue ones, "You don't hesitate to save your own life," he tucked your scarf that had come loose tighter around your face, and for a second you thought maybe and finally, he had a change of heart. But his next words killed that as he stepped away, dropping his hand, "We can't risk getting infected. And I can't risk you getting me infected, either. I might be a super soldier, but we don't know how that thing affects people like me."

Him. It was always about him and his safety.

"What about me? What about me getting infected or killed?"

He took a step closer to you.

"You signed up for this. You know the risk."

He walked past you.

"So I should care about your life, but not about mine?"

"What I'm saying is you need to be careful." You were about to say something else when he finished with, "Now tie your boots before you get us both killed by you tripping onto me.

With a snarl, you looked down to see that, indeed, your left shoe was untied.

Shit.

An hour after your fight, the winds grew stronger and your visibility was down to two feet. You hadn't spoken to each other since, and to be fairly honest, it's not like you wanted to speak to him anyway.

After the winds had calmed down, you had both made it through the city and were now walking through what had once been crops. Now it was just coarse sand and rough rocks.

You wanted to ask him if you could rest for a few minutes, at least to have something to eat. But you were so afraid of what he would say to you.

But as you both walked and walked, it became harder.

Eventually, you stopped, and he also stopped to look at you. Your face was crestfallen.

"I'm not a super soldier like you. I need to eat. Maybe have a sip of water."

Bucky looked you down but then turned and continued walking again.

You wanted to cry.

Did he want you down on your knees? Would that be enough for him?

After a few minutes, you reached forest land again.

You watched as Bucky walked off to the left side and sat against a tree.

You wanted to cry in relief.

You practically ran to him, sitting next to him against the tree. You pulled off your backpack and he did the same with his.

You both sat there, chewing on some nuts and fruits and sipping water.

Afterward, Bucky threw his eaten apple into the leaves and rested his head up against the tree.

You took that moment to observe him, but not making it too obvious.

Your promise to Steve resonates in your head.

He looked so young to you that you began to wonder how old he was, biologically. There was no way he was older than thirty-eight. You felt pity that he suffered so much so young.

"Can I ask you something?" You know you were fetching far. But screw it. His answer, was a tilt of his head and a peak of a blue iris at you, "how old are you?"

He squinted his eyes at you, "Really?"

"Yeah, I mean, I know you're in your hundreds, but biologically?"

He looked away from you and closed his eyes again. His mouth was in a straight, harsh line.

"A lot older than you."

You bit your lip, looking away.

"I miss my life before this. I miss Netflix and Spotify. Damnit, I miss Halsey." His expression is unchanged, "Did you ever have a favorite song? You know, before — before everything?"

He knows what you're asking but he doesn't answer you. Instead, he runs two hands down his face and announces that you should both get going again.

You're disappointed.

You had quickly gotten over the fact that he would never like you, if anything he hated you, but you both needed to find a common ground of respect, especially if you would be spending this much time together.

But he still wouldn't abide by you. It was like he just didn't care. Were you going to have to show him your true colors?

Eventually, the sun was beginning to set and Bucky suggested you both should set up camp.

He built a fire using wood and a lighter while you laid down both your blankets. He eyed you over the fire as you put his blanket straight across from his.

He wanted to thank you but his words wouldn't come out. He was still stuck on the question you had asked him.

After the fire was just right, he tucked himself onto his uncomfortable grey blanket and laid his head on his arm.

Your eyes closed tightly together as you tried your best to go to sleep. You folded your knees against your small chest into a fetal position, to keep warm.

Bucky watched you from across the fire. You were a good girl.

But you shouldn't be doing this. You were the kind of girl that was supposed to live in the aftermath of the successful mission, not the one fighting for it. You were going to get hurt.

Just like he did.

And he hated you for it. You were so young and had so much to live for.

He hated that he felt so many emotions for you that made him want to scream at you and make you go away. He wasn't sure what they were but he knew none of them was anything romantic.

He would never feel that way about anyone else ever again.

He turned around in his blanket and closed his eyes tight together.

He did have a favorite song.