Chapter Seventeen:
Brooke POV
"What do you mean there aren't any rooms available", I yell to the clerk at the front desk. We arrived to the Tropical Awaits Resort and of course they're trying to tell me that since I didn't schedule a reservation like the rest of my family, there's nothing they can do.
"It's a holiday Mam', we have no rooms left. There's absolutely nothing I can do", he states apologetically.
"Excuse me, but do you know who I am", I start to say having my Bitch voice ready to give this guy the Brooke Davis smack down but I feel Megan take my hand dragging me away.
"Mom its fine you can stay in our suite. There are two bedrooms and both the rooms have queen sized beds. If it's that serious I can stay in Dad's room with him, or we can stay together. Or heck even you and Dad in one room", Megan smirks bumping her hip into mine.
"Ha-ha you're so funny", I roll my eyes throwing my arm over her shoulder. I'd have no problem doing this but I already invited myself to their family vacation, I don't want to have to share a suite with Lucas too. This is technically his time with her. I am lucky enough he let me come along. "But I don't think that's a good idea. You're Dad isn't going to be okay with it. I'll go stay with Haley when they get here tomorrow and for tonight I'll stay with Karen on the Yacht".
"Actually he's the one who told me to tell you if there weren't any other rooms to drag your butt back to ours", she chuckles pushing the button on the elevator. I guess I have no choice then. I'll have to thank him later.
I see Meg glance at her phone and check her messages, with nothing but a smile on her face.
"What are you grinning at", I say trying to look over her shoulder. She locks the screen before I can and shoves in back in her jean shorts.
"It was Jamie. He was letting me know what time they'll be here tomorrow".
I couldn't help but smile back at her. They are two peas in a pod and literally always have been.
"I bet you can't wait for him to get here", I nudge her shoulder again getting another giggle out of her.
She looks down at her outfit, fidgeting with her white tank top. It seems like she's trying to find the right words.
"Am I wrong or something", I interject trying to not have her be mad.
"No it's not that. I mean yeah, I'm so excited to see him here. It's Jamie. We're going to have so much fun. But I like going at least one day without seeing him look at me as if it's the last time he will", she shrugs off acting that what she said wasn't as serious as it was. However it makes my heart sink all the way into my stomach. Do we all look at her that way?
I think of when we arrived two hours ago and see Karen and Lily's faces. They seem thrilled and not at all worried over Meg. Karen didn't ask once how she was feeling. All she questioned was how school was, cheerleading, and about the Café. Do they not know? Were they on the list of people that weren't told as well? I wasn't the only one?
I bite my lip then, looking at my daughter, and wanting to ask her to tell me the truth. She seems so broken suddenly. Like with her outburst that what I'm thinking is correct.
"They don't know, do they", I whisper out realizing that I couldn't get through this week without hearing her say it.
She doesn't even look at me, the only way I know I'm true is a slight nod of head. This is why they really came. In her eyes, maybe Lucas's to, it could be the last time she sees them. It makes me sick that I even though of that.
"Why do you think everyone is coming", she mutters letting a breath out. I can tell in her voice she is trying not to cry.
Support. That's the real reason.
An elevator finally arrives and we both step into it silently. There's a need in my heart to comfort her so I throw my arms around her as the doors shut leaving only the two of us here. Megan cradles her face in the crook of my neck clinging on instantly.
"I get that I haven't been the greatest Mom in the last couple years, but what matters most is that I'm here now. Everything is going to be okay', I let out squeezing her tighter.
"I'm scared to tell them", she sobs out holding me closer. "I didn't think I'd ever be able to tell you".
The tears start to flow then. I still don't even know how I survived that day.
"But you did, and I'm here, right now. Don't you know how much your Grandmother and Lily love you", I let out wiping the tears away from her face. "I've watched your Grandma Karen spoil you with endless amounts of hugs and kisses, and I have seen how close Lily and you have become. If there's anyone I trust more with you then your Dad or Haley, it's them. They love you almost as much as I do. And trust me baby that is an endless amount of love".
She smiles brightly still letting tears fall. But I know I cracked something in her. Most people are stronger than they know. They just forget to believe in it sometimes. Megan's a Scott and a Davis. She's fierce, compassionate, loyal, determined, spunky, and kind. This can't beat her. God wouldn't let it.
"I know that Mom. I do. I love them too. But you don't get it", she huffs as soon as the elevator reaches our floor. Megan walks towards the room and I follow her in a daze. What don't I understand now? I walk into the room after Megan and notice Lucas isn't here. She goes to run to the bathroom and I can tell she's putting up every wall she still has up against me.
"Megan Davis Scott if you slam that door you will suffer", I yell pulling her arm for her to look me in the eyes. When she does turn around she has the most broken expression.
"I already am suffering Mom", she screams letting her emotions fully come out.
"Don't you remember all of the problems I have going on", she yells again never taking her eyes off of mine. "I have a heart disease. You and Dad are divorced. You left for five years and forgot about me. Aunt Peyton isn't in my life. You're engaged. My best friend looks at me like I'm a wounded puppy every day of my life. And to top it all off the first boy ever to like me I won't be able to date because there's a good chance I might die", Megan cries loosing complete control over herself.
"You can't keep blaming me for all the wrong things in your life Megan! I am not the bay guy. I did it all for you and only you! I wanted you to have a way better life than I did and be able to have two parents that love you, because I know how it feels to not have any one give a crap about you. But guess what, you don't have that problem. I made sure you would be taken care of always. Clothes Over Bros is for you too. It may be my dream but it came out of the love that made you. But to hear you say that I'm the reason you're suffering isn't fair. Don't you know how much I've suffered", I choke out trying to keep my emotions stable.
"Because I have", I shriek out in a hoarse voice swallowing back sobs. "I love you Megan and being away from you, my own flesh and blood, for the time that I did has been horrible. To hear that you've been so sick and not being told sooner has broken my heart. But I'm not running away from the pain, I'm here in front of you being you're Mother. Because like it or not I am, and you are going to listen to me", I stumble over my last words and reach over to hold her hands in mine. "I know you're afraid of your heart condition. I know you're scared to tell the people you love that you're not okay. I get you're afraid to love and afraid to take a next step in your life. But it's gonna hurt. It's gonna hurt because it matters, because it all means something".
"What will it mean if it doesn't end well, what if I lose everything", she croaks then staring devastatingly into my eyes.
"You're not going too. Because I'm right here and I'd never let that happen", I laugh out grasping her against me. "You're my daughter. And your Dad always tells you how tough Scott's are. But remember there's a whole half of you that's Davis, were even stronger".
"I'm so sorry Momma", Megan whispers once she's snuggled tight in my arms.
"I'm sorry too. I just need you to stop putting your walls up to me. You're a lot like me in that way and I wish you weren't. Being hardheaded isn't the trait I wished I passed down", I smile kissing the top of her head and then walking over to open up my suitcase. I don't want to keep getting us both upset so we might as well get dressed into our bathing suits and go lay on the beach. I pick out a red bikini I bought at the mall before we left and smirk a little to myself. I hope Lucas sees me in this.
Oh god, why am I thinking these thoughts now?
Because I know what it'll do to him if he does see me in it, that's why. He will go crazy. And maybe I want him to be thinking of me in a different way. In the sexy Brooke Davis way I only can do to him.
Then I remembered the promise I made to myself three months ago, I wouldn't be the one to crack this time. We're in Hawaii, one of the most tropical and romantic places in the world, I know something's going to wind up happening between us. I mean we've almost kissed like three times since I moved in. What might happen if we actually do kiss?
Yeah I need to get it together. This is a family vacation.
"Mom, there's something else I think I need to talk about though", Meg mumbles walking over to sit down on the bed where my clothes are lying on. She sits down huffing and I can tell whatever she needs to talk about is really stressing her out.
"Okay", I say ready to listen to whatever it is.
She stares only at her hands, something new she must have picked up from Lucas before she mumbles the one thing that could possibly startle me.
"Do you think Dad blames himself for giving me the HCM gene"?
A question I haven't even thought of, feelings that I never wanted Megan to experience. Does Lucas sense guilt? Does he think it's his fault? I can't even form a sentence to reply back to her. It's as if my mouth is frozen and won't comply with any movements to make sounds.
"I think I got my answer", Megan breaths out turning away from me. "Maybe it's too soon to be thinking these thoughts. Maybe this new medicine will work and he won't blame himself because it's not going to be the thing that kills me. Once I get the right medicine we'll all be fine, right"? And when she asks me it's more like she's trying to convince herself.
"Right", I mumble back leaning over to kiss the top of her head. "It's all going to be okay". She leans her head on my shoulder and takes a deep breath. It's all going to be okay. It's all going to be okay.
Lucas POV
"So tell me, how are you", Mom questions as we are sitting down outside of one of the restaurants for lunch. I was ready for this time, alone with my Mom.
"I'm good. The team is really good this year. You won't believe how good Jamie is. Megan is having such a good time cheering too she says. She'll have to tell you how she's going to be captain next year. Oh and Haley's up for Teacher of the Year. And the café is running well. Deb's doing a great job", I bladder out trying to make sure I cover all the important topics.
"No Luke, I mean how you, my son are. Not how everything else is. I want to know how you're doing", she laughs reaching over to hold my hand. I laugh a little squeezing her hand back.
"I'm okay Ma", I answer and wish I could be completely honest with her. Not without Megan. I promised she would be the one to tell them, without any forcing.
She just nods her head though, accepting my okay for probably something more in her mind. "I was really shocked to hear Brooke was coming. What's up with that"?
And this is the moment I've been also waiting to see. I haven't told her the truth about Brooke. She's going to die.
"Well, Ma, ugh she moved back home", I stutter looking away from her stare.
"What Brooke moved back in? Are you guys back together", she practically screams and I can see the happiness in her eyes begin to light up.
"No we aren't together. She's staying with us until she finds her own place", I let out quickly so she doesn't think farther into it. Because she would, she still thinks Brooke and I will get back together one day. I hope I don't disappoint her.
"Why did she move back home? I thought she was engaged to that Julian guy and running the company in New York", Mom adds of course trying to dig for more information.
"She came to visit for Meg's birthday and then tells me she wants to move back home. I think she just missed Megan too much because of the whole blow up in New York", I reply since I don't want to go over that again with my mother since I did have to tell her the whole story, and yes she was not very happy with me. But Brooke made her choice then, that's when I let go. And she knows it too.
"Well I'm glad she's home. Meg and you need her. I can give her some of my new low fat recipes and then I'll know you're finally eating right", Ma laughs making me roll my eyes.
"I take care of Megan and myself perfectly fine I'll have you know", I chuckle back earning another laugh from her. Of course we live practically on take out, frozen pizza, Haley's cooking, and the café but I can cook. I make dinner for us every Monday night. It's our little tradition.
"But how are you Ma", I add after the laughter stop and she's looking at me like my expressions will show her what I'm hiding because I get she knows something is up. I know her as well as she knows me.
"I'm good, healthy as a horse. Busy with homeschooling Lil. Thank you for the flower an card on Andy's and I's ten year anniversary by the way", she smiles and I know it meant a lot to her, it was about four months ago plus she's now bringing it up to me in person.
"You're welcome. Where is he by the way", I smirk looking around the restaurant for a sign of him or even my sister.
"I told them you'd follow me back to the yacht, its anchored right here at the Resort's marina. I figured we would talk before we all reunited", she replies looking at me in the way she's ready to get down to business.
"Okay what is it", I finally let out hoping that she isn't reading my mind.
"Tell me what's going on. You seem completely lost".
"That's because I am. I don't know what to do anymore Ma", I finally confess trying to get some control over myself. "How do you pretend to be okay when everything feels like it's about to collapse right in front of your eyes"? I may not be able to tell her the truth about Megan yet, but I can be honest on what I'm feeling.
She pauses before she speaks and I really don't know if I want to know what she has to say. "That's because you don't pretend to be okay. You either are or you're not. Why do you feel so lost"?
I go to open my mouth to tell her the reason when my eyes land on Megan and Brooke instead. I couldn't help but stare at Brooke since she's practically glowing. Did she really have to wear that red bikini, seriously?
Megan catches my gaze but immediately looks to the ground. That makes me assume two things. One; she's been crying and doesn't want me to ask what is wrong or two; she's mad at me which could be the real reason since I've been acting pretty shitty this last week. We've been pretending for a week that nothing's wrong. Walking around each other's shoes to afraid that one wrong move we make something's going to happen. For years Meg was the only person who could read me the most. I thought I could do the same to her as well, but it's like there's a wall up towards me. I can't help but be a little jealous of how Brooke sweeps in and Megan falls right into her arms. Maybe that's not exactly how it happened, but it is how I feel. I know I've been acting standoffish about Ryder but it's something else I can't explain. It's every time I look at her with him I feel one way, and that's nostalgic. It's like I'm back sixteen years ago watching myself fall in love with Brooke, all over again.
I can see in the corner of my eye Mom follows my eyes to see Megan and Brooke. She smiles a little and taps my arm. "You know if you keep pretending that you don't love her anymore, you're going to get even more lost".
I turn my head and stare dumfounded. Did she think I was talking about Brooke?
That's when it hits me; maybe I am fighting it off, when I shouldn't. Of course I still love her. I will always be in love with Brooke. But that doesn't mean she still feels the same…I know she doesn't.
"I'm not the one pretending", I sigh in a low voice standing up as they walk over.
"Hey kid", I smirk wrapping my arms around Meg. She hugs me back but I can still tell there's something off. "Hey dude", she answers back looking up so I can see her face. Yup, she was crying. I raise my eyebrows up hoping she can read my mind but she shakes her head letting me know not to ask.
"Megan you look like a mini Brooke with your hair down like that", Ma interrupts making me let go of her.
"Please with those eyes I think it's the girl version of Lucas", Brooke replies looking towards me now.
"I hear you're going to be Captain next year, that's very exciting", Ma gushes putting her arm around Meg's waist since she walked over to her.
"Yeah, well see what happens. I have to worry about what happens at the Sparkle Classic Championship next month. I'm in charge of getting the routine together and I need the best choreography to win first", my daughter adds rolling her eyes. It's so funny she acts this way about it. Because when she's on a stage or she's on the sidelines cheering for the team, everything about her lights up. She's really good and I don't mean it to sound that way or be unbiased because she's my daughter. I truly mean it.
"What you didn't tell me that", Brooke practically screams as her eyes oomph at the mention of the championship. Like no one in our lives will ever forget the year she won best choreography, she made sure of it.
"It's not a big deal. Amanda and I are already done making it up", Megan says trying to make it seem like a less of a deal then it is. It is a big deal; she's not fooling anyone.
"How is Amanda doing", Mom asks switching topics.
Megan laughs out loud and shakes her head. "You should ask Jamie that when you see him. That's his new girlfriend".
"Now there's something you could have told me in our phone calls Lucas", she gushes reaching over to smack my arm.
Before I can talk back her cell phone starts vibrating on the table. She grabs it and rolls her eyes at the screen.
"Hello Lily, yes I'm standing right next to them now. I am bringing them back to the yacht. Okay see you in a few. Bye", she laughs clicking it off. "You're sister is persistent on seeing Megan".
"Is Grandpa there too", Meg questions getting a nod in return from me, "then what are we waiting for". She starts walking towards the direction of the Marina with Mom following her. I start to walk along as well when I feel Brookes hand wrap around my arm. I look up to match her eye contact and know immediately something's off.
"Karen well be right there, I need to talk to Luke", Brooke yells to my mom. She glances back nodding her head and keep walking away with Megan. Should I be worried?
"What's up", I ask kind of rudely. I don't mean to be so standoffish but I can't but be irritated. She's in my favorite color, were at a beach, and I'm getting to comfortable with her being around. She's not my wife, hell she's not even my girlfriend. She's my ex, the mother of my child, and that's it. That's all she wants from me. It's getting hard to even stay in the same room with her and not be able to touch her, to kiss her, to just look at her and tell her I love her. I miss what we used to be.
"Are you okay Luke? For the last week since I've been here you've been acting weird, and not your usual Broody self", she exhales crossing her arms over her chest.
"And how have I been acting", I ask looking away from her stare.
"Like there's something wrong with you. I'm not the only one who has noticed it either", she adds making me know she's talking about Megan. I guess now since they're close they are talking about me. That's fantastic.
"I'm fine Brooke. I'm not acting anyway", I roll my eyes as I start to storm off.
"Luke stop putting your defensive walls up on me. I know something is wrong, let me help. Talk to me or push me away but I know you're going through something. Megan knows it too".
"You know what my problem is, I'm tired of feeling like a failure", I let out releasing a deep breath. I look up to see her face confused. "Nothing I do is right. I can try and act like I'm happy but I look at my only child and see what's going on with her and I can't shake it. I can't stop feeling that it isn't going to be okay. If I were to lose Meg I don't think I'd ever be able to live with myself. I'd lose everything. I'd have nothing".
"You'd have me", she whispers looking devastatingly beautiful. I laugh out loud at that comment and turn around to walk away.
"Lucas stop walking away from me", Brooke yells as her voice breaks.
Another laugh comes out of my mouth and I hardly recognize the sound. It was almost evil like. "What do you want me to say? You're the one engaged to someone else. I wouldn't get you or have you. Don't you know you can't keep what isn't yours and you can't hold onto someone who doesn't want to stay"?
"Do you see me with him right now? Actually is he even here? No, he's not. I'm with you and our family".
I just look at her knowing she's right. That's when I see her ring finger is empty. How long has that finger been bare? When did she take off her engagement ring?
"I want you happy Luke", she murmurs as her hazel eyes boar into mine. I'd come up with one of my speeches, one where she'd kiss me and tell me she hasn't stopped loving me. But I know she doesn't. It would be worthless. So I nod my head and end up walking away because the only way I'll be happy is if I have her to face the world with.
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Hope you guys like where this story is going. Hawaii is only two more parts. Let's see what else it has in store :) Any other questions feel free to message me or to review! Thank you!
-Yours Truly,
Megan
