Greetings, all. I told you all not to expect daily updates, didn't I? Well, the important thing is, I'm back.
I originally wanted to post something yesterday, but I didn't get around to it. But it's here now. The story itself isn't really anything super amazing ; as a matter of fact, I just typed off the top of my head. I really just wanted to write my feelings about something very important and recent: Homestuck.
I'm going to write all of that after the story, so if you don't want spoilers, just read the head canon I don't actually think and then leave. Please, enjoy the story.
A Gentlemanly Game of Table Stickball
Gaster burbled into the room. Despite visiting the PTA meetings on occasions before now, he was still considered an anomaly to most of the parents and teachers attending. It seems that some things don't change, whether you're in the Void or not.
"Dr. Gaster," a mother, Linda, if Gaster recalled correctly, approached him warily with a grimace on her face. "How... delightful to see you here. I presume Sans has gotten sick if you're here, then?"
"Indeed," Gaster replied softly, signing his words simultaneously. "I believe it may have something to do with his insistence on working late hours. I shall have to discuss that with him this evening."
Linda nodded, only sort of listening. "The meeting will begin in a minute, so you may want to hurry if you want something to eat. Or can eat, now that I think about it..."
"Yes, perhaps I will do that. I occasionally enjoy consuming eatables." Gaster nodded politely at Linda before his head and hands slid with squelching sound to the other side of his body. Sadly, his time in the Void had done a number on his ability to focus on his physical relationships with the physical world, so it was much easier to remain a gooey black blob with hands and a face than force himself into something more presentable. Perhaps one day...
Gaster reached the snack table and reached for a plastic knife. He cut a nice sized brownie square and set for himself on a napkin. He was about to turn away when a thought flashed across his face. He slowly cut the brownie into four smaller squares, then cut another square in the bottom left corner of the top right square. He cut another brownie into a triangle with an odd rectangle sticking out of the top. Putting the brownie pieces together made them resemble a house of sorts.
Oh...
That's right.
"Gaster, stop leaking all over the snack table!" Flowey yelled from across the room.
"My lemon squares!" Helen cried.
"My brownies!" Linda shouted angrily, stomping towards the void grandpa. "Now, you listen to me, monster man, I don't care how many doctorates you have, you—" she stopped short. "Dr. Gaster...?
Gaster turned his head to her slowly, most of his body melting all over the snack table and floor. From his blank, cresent shaped eye sockets, black oil seemed to slip slowly down his chin. He didn't speak, but his hands moved, "I don't know..." His body sank into the floor and disappeared, leaving oil slicks where he had melted.
"Freaking fantastic," Flowey grumbled loudly. "Well, we still have a meeting, so everyone take a seat."
-TIME-SKIP-
The meeting ended with little upset, and the parents began to file out of the meeting room. Linda picked up her brownie dish in disgust, trying not to touch any of the monster slime that freak of a freak oozed everywhere. She pressed her lips tightly and left the room, intending to throw the dish away as soon as she got home. She passed a teacher's common room in the hallway and heard a quiet clicking sound from the closed door. Linda paused, wondering if she had imagined it when she heard it again, followed by an even fainter rolling sound. Linda placed the ruined brownies on the floor and quietly opened the door. The windows were dark. The room, darker. The monster in the room, yet darker.
"Dr. Gaster?" Linda said, almost incredulous.
Gaster turned to face the mother. He seemed a bit taller, and it almost seemed as if he had arms and a dark coat instead of a blobby body and floating hands. "Ah, Linda..." he said quietly. He set down the object he was holding to sign to her.
"I'm not deaf, I can hear you," Linda clipped a bit sharply.
Gaster nodded and reequipped the object, but his fingers twitched and tapped the thing anyway. "Of, course, I know. Old habits die hard, they say." He turned away from her and leaned over the table in the middle of the room.
"...You missed the meeting," Linda said more quietly.
"I know. I deemed that I was... unfit for the responsibility today."
Linda stepped further into the room. "What are you doing?" she asked.
Gaster shuffled to the side and the light from the hallway fell on a table with green felt on top with balls of different colors randomly placed on the felt.
"Back in the Underground," he explained, "someone at the lab I worked in found something like this in the dump and brought it back. We probably would have just used it as a normal table, but, luckily, it came with instructions." He rubbed the object in his hands, which was now revealed to be a long stick that was almost as tall as he was. "When I wasn't working on the Core, I was practicing this game. Eventually, I became quite the professional player of Table Stickball."
"What?" said Linda.
"Oh, my, have you never played? It's quiet simple, really. You just keep hitting the roundcircles until they're all swallowed by the empty sockets—"
"Pool, Dr. Gaster. The game is called Pool, not 'table stickball'."
Gaster was silent for a moment. Then he sighed. Then he sighed again. With each sigh, his limbs and coat melted slowly back into a blob. "Forgive me. I know the game's name, it's just..." He sighed one last time, reverting fully into the form he had arrived at the school with. "It's a very long story."
Linda shifted her weight and looked at a wall. "I don't have to go anywhere tomorrow," she said, "and tomorrow is a weekend, so there's no school. I have time."
Gaster's eye sockets blinked impossibly, and then he slowly smiled. "I would be happy to tell you. Do have a seat." Linda grabbed a chair and positioned it near the still open door. Gaster aimed his stick at one of the roundcircles and hit it with a satisfying click. "It's a story about a boy and his friends who play a game together..."
Head canon I don't actually think #5: Gaster is more math and science nerdy than fandom nerdy, but he does have a secret love for Homestuck (Which I don't own).
I like to think that Linda really is a little too hateful of things and people that are too different, but I also like to think that she truly is a mother at heart, and wants to look after others, even if she tends to go about it the wrong way. I also think that she and Gaster would get along, at least much better than she and Sans. Of course, he's still a monster, so she can't just treat him too normally. No, no, that would be ridiculous. I josh, of course, but that's how she would see it. Also, please note, the title is a reference to the Paradox Space comic, The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven, which is why it's important.
And now, spoilers.
So. Homestuck is over. Seven years of kids in a game. Gone, just like that. Not actually gone, of course, but gone is the anticipation of what happens next, and what Andrew Hussie has in store for his readings. I arrived on the band wagon a little late, close to when the Gigapause was going to end. The first time I had to wait for an update was when John played the pipe organ to remove the oil on LOWAS. So, yeah, pretty late. But the thing that counts is that it was an amazing journey and now it's over. I mean, I'm not, like, crying sad, or anything, but I'm still... displeased, I suppose is the word. I understand that the ending was left ambiguous, but I'm still left with too many questions. I could probably go on for a while and find every little thing I'm wondering about, but two in particular really get to me. Number one: Gamzee Makara. He showed up for a second in S: Collide, but that was it. He didn't even show up in act seven, unless I missed that somehow. Did they just keep him in the fridge forever? I'm not sure how troll bodies work, but I think that he'd probably starve to death or something if he was left in there. Maybe it's just me. Secondly, the last surviving trolls and Dad Crocker. I don't think I'm an expert in God Tier logic, but the case of conditional immortality seems to mean that you only die if killed in a heroic or just way. However, I don't think there's ever mention of the kids aging. They celebrate John's birthday, but we can't really tell if he's gotten older. Do the god kids remain the same age physically forever? If that's the case, than Rose is technically thirteen and her girlfriend Kanaya is sixteen in human years. If it keeps going like that, then they're all eventually going to die and leave the kids alone. I know they were busy with the game, but did this really not come up at all? Three years alone on a meteor/ battle ship, and no one brought it up? It's really weird for me to think about. And there's so much more: how carapaces reproduce so quickly, if other humans and were created to replace the lost one, the matriorb, the dream bubbles, doomed Caliborn, the exact nature of Lord English's death and the juju that killed him, the new life for the ghosts in the mentioned dream bubbles, if I really sat down and though for a while, I could keep going. But I won't because I'm tired of typing and my wrists hurt.
So, back to the story, did you like it? Leave a review and tell me, please. Also, if someone who's even remotely decent at Japanese to English translation, if you could make a video on YouTube that has English subtitles for Ao Oni Movie and Ao Oni Ver. 2, GiVe To Me PlEaSe.
