Whoa look at that an update it's inconceivable aaaaah...
Hi there. I'm back.
I've been doing very little writing. Probably because I'm a bad person at doing work. Work makes me feel bad. Not working and thinking about how I'm not working also makes me feel bad. Wweh.
This took me three days to write, mostly because I only worked after it got dark, which, since it's summer, isn't until eight thirty. I wanted to update my Legend of Zelda fanfiction before I updated this again, but then I realized that the month was over and I hadn't touched the Microsoft button (which I don't own).
So, I squeezed this out of the disgusting, oily gray mass of festering cells that is my brain to offer you, which you will no doubt recoil at in a combination of distaste and pleasure. Aren't I a magician with words? Anyway, enjoy, and look at the bottom of the page for info on what I want for updates.
So Sorry for Drawing on your Lemon Squares
Helen stood near the snack table. She had a good feeling about today. As the other parents began to settle into their seats and quiet their chatter, Helen kept her eyes on her lemon squares, still in the pan she had baked them in. Today, she just knew it; someone would touch them, and not on accident like those other PTA meeting days, but on purpose.
"Okay, everyone, it's time to start the meeting. Helen, sit down," Flowey called.
"Aw," Helen mumbled as she sat in her seat, glancing back at her lemon squares occasionally.
Flowey jostled his controller absently as he looked around at the parents. "Listen up, this is the schedule for the meeting today: the entire time will be spent to wrap up the discussion on extracurricular funding, namely for the arts verses the sports program."
Immediately, the parents began to talk quietly, looking left and right at each other, but mostly at Sans and Linda. Helen looked at her lemon squares.
Linda crossed her arms. "I still can't believe that we still have to discuss this. We should have decided on this a week ago."
"And yet, here we are," Sans replied stiffly.
"Look, everyone," Flowey interrupted, "we've been spending too much time arguing about this, and we're supposed to be sending in the funds report to the school board this weekend. We will reach a decision by the end of this meeting, or else I will eat all of you. I'm going to stick my face into my screaming pillow the whole time. Let the arguing begin." Flowey drove his toy wagon in front of a little pillow that had been left on the table, stuck his face in it, and let out a muffled scream.
Sans and Linda simultaneously set their forearms onto the table and looked across at each other. Everyone remained still.
"I'm just stating the facts here, Sans," Linda began. "The sports program provides the children with exercise and teamwork skills. All that the art program is good for is for people who are too lazy to get up and actually do something productive besides twirl around and make stick figures, like you."
"You've stated only one fact today, Linda, which is pretty impressive," Sans replied, the bone under his eye sockets crinkling even deeper than they did naturally. "While it's true that sports are excellent for teamwork, there are many types of art projects that require an equal amount of teamwork and exercise."
"Any art project that could even begin to match up to a sport in terms of those skills would be a community project, which would be far too expensive and time consuming for our students. Besides, what good are mental one's mental capabilities if one is a magic butterball shaped thing like you?" Linda crossed her arms and looked up and down at Sans' round shape.
"What good is being in shape if you have to use cheap tactics like jabbing at people's physical appearance in order to get your way, Linda?" Sans leaned back in his chair and bared his teeth.
Linda simply shrugged. "It doesn't really matter either way, since I have more support than you. Helen, you're with me, right?"
"Oh, yeah, of course," Helen said, blinking out of her lemon square dream sequence.
"Janice, Pete, same goes for you, right?"
"Mm-hmm," said Pete, who was checking his watch for the seventh time. Janice said nothing, but nodded.
"You see? And Gloria...?"
Gloria looked up from her dance magazine. "'Scuse you?"
"Yeah, actually, never mind. The point is, Sans, no matter how hard you try, you're going to be out voted at the end of this meeting, and nothing you do will change that."
"That's literally three people, which is hardly something to call a majority vote." Sounds like grinding teeth. "Besides, I have a few tricks up my sleeve, so don't act so sure of victory."
Linda raised an eyebrow. "Isn't your friend the sport coach? Wouldn't it be a shame if your friendship came to an end because you just couldn't let go of your silly art program?"
Sans rolled the lights around in his eye sockets. "Do you honestly think my relationship with Undyne is so shallow as to be destroyed by a small budget for the sports program? We're talking about my friends, not yours."
"Whoop," Gloria whooped quietly. Linda glared at her.
"And you make it sound as if I want to completely cut the sports program; I don't. I'm saying that we should balance the budget between the two programs, and then use fundraiser money for any needed expenses instead of cutting the whole art program and using the fundraisers to buy equipment we won't ever use. Like that sweat band set you were talking about last time? Seriously, who even needs sweat bands? Don't answer that," Sans said when Linda opened her mouth. "And just in case you're wondering, yes, I did bring someone to help me win the argument for the arts program. Actually, he's been here for a few minutes now, by the snack table."
Everyone turned toward the snack table to see the long tail of a monster sweep from side to side. When the monster realized he had been spoken of, he turned timidly toward the meeting table. As soon as some of the parents recognized who it was, they began talking amongst each other, informing the other parents who didn't know who the street artist was.
"This?!" Linda said in bewilderment. "This is who you brought in for help? How desperate are you?"
Some of the parents, monster and human alike, were giving Sans some queer looks. Flowey looked up, saw who was, flopped his face back into his screaming pillow and made some dying noises. The newcomer's fingers tapped together like jackhammers.
"I'm So Sorry!" He blurted awkwardly.
"Um, you don't have to apologize," Gloria said.
"No, that's my name. So Sorry."
"Oh."
Sans stood up and patted So Sorry on the back. "Ladies and gentlemen, if I have ever seen someone who has used exercise and art together in everyday life, it's this guy right here. Show them what you've got, buddy."
So Sorry straightened up and reached into his inner vest pocket. "Yes! Right! I can do this!" He retrieved several rolls of paper and set them in a pile on the meeting table. "Sans here asked me to show you some of my works of art today, and I'm happy to oblige. For my first example..." He unrolled one of the papers and held it up in the air for everyone to see.
It was a pencil on paper drawing of a little sail boat in a lake, surrounded by a cloudy sky and tall, thin trees on the banks. "Works such as this and this," he revealed a second scroll, which was an intricate portrait of a familiar child in a striped sweater, also done in pencil, "are usually done in my spare time. They may not be the best, but I make them with feeling!"
A few heads in the crowd nodded slowly.
So Sorry unrolled a third scroll and passed it around the table. It was a laminated photograph of So Sorry himself, standing in front of a table that was set on the edge of a sidewalk, with a sign reading 'Art of all Kinds! Pick a Price, get a Picture!'
"I make most of my money as a street artist, selling whatever people want me to draw for them in a few minutes. Obviously, I can't stay in the same place all the time or I'd get rained out! Ha-ha... (That wasn't funny...) I carry that table as well as my art supplies around the town to garner more customers—oh, yeah!—which requires, uh, balance, I guess, and arm strength, and leg... strength..." So Sorry tapped his fingers again. "(I'm doing a bad job...)"
Linda was not impressed. "I would hardly call any of that remotely sports-like."
"Hang on," Sans said. "He has one more thing to present. Show 'em, Double S."
"Right!" So Sorry got the third scroll back from the last parent and picked up the last scroll, which was taller and thicker than the others. "Will you help me, Sans?"
"Well, I suppose I could roll on over." Everyone groaned.
Sans held one edge of the scroll as So Sorry pulled the other end across the room until a photograph as long as he was tall was displayed. A series of different sports balls in varying degrees of damage were spread in a sort of mural in the shape of Ebott High School's symbol, a shield with the Delta Rune on it. Some of the parents applauded almost subconsciously.
"This is my concept design for a project contest at the monster high school nearby! It recycles old sports equipment in a creative way to show school spirit during big sport events! I sent the finished project in to the judges, mostly for the extra pocket money but also to add something special to my art portfolio! Do you... like it? (They think my art is terrible...)"
Sans grinned widely at Linda. "You see? Even if there's not always a lot of moving around, arts and sports can and should be preserved and combined to make both programs more incredible." Sans and So Sorry high-fived each other.
"GET DUNKED ON, LINDA!" Gloria blurted out.
"No, hold up, not yet," said Sans.
"Not yet?" Gloria asked.
"Nah, nah, give her a minute."
"Th-this changes nothing!" Linda spluttered.
"Actually, Linda, I think everyone here will agree with me when I say that your plans aren't..." Sans put on some sunglasses. "On the ball."
Linda screamed.
"Now?" Gloria asked.
"Now," Sans nodded.
"GEEEEEET DUNKED ON, LINDA!" everyone shouted.
"Stop yelling!" Flowey whined hoarsely from his own yelling.
*After the Meeting...*
Helen went to the snack table to pick up her leftover lemon squares. "Hey!" she shouted suddenly. Someone had taken a permanent marker and drawn a picture of a fish on her lemon squares. Under the pan, someone had written a note with the marker:
The surface of this chalkboard was so interesting; I just had to let out a jump of inspiration I had just now! I hope no one minds. Oh, I think they're talking about me... Time to introduce myself! I hope this goes well! –So Sorry
"Eh, I'll take it," Helen said, and took the pan back home with her.
Head canon I don't actually think #16: So Sorry, due to his unusual circumstance, is often regarded oddly, even by fellow monsters, but people eventually see that he's a generally good guy. He wants to go to a faraway art college to become a master of the arts, and works as a street artist to make enough for everyday life and tuition. (His magic pencil typically is left at home, due to the negative response towards living artwork by his customers.)
Aaand So Sorry's here again! What's with me and So Sorry fanfiction? I don't know, I guess I just feel like someone has to represent the guy. I figured that since he gets a lot of bad reception in the fandom, people would actually act a little wary around him in this AU before they realize that there's more to the character than what he might have been made for. I don't really look into that, but it's not my business.
Did the art and sport programs remain funded? Of course it did. Did Undyne and Sans' friendship shatter into fish boney pieces? Of course not. But I bet you knew that already.
To be perfectly honest, this wasn't my first draft of how the story would go, which is strange since I usually just go with what's on the top of my head and submit it immediately. Originally, it was going to be Sans and Linda teaming up against Janice in this funding debacle. Janice would have been (she might still be, but I think I'm going to try to forget she ever existed and stick her into the generic crowd of parents) Pete's wife, and against women's rights. That seems really backwards, but I do know that they exist. She tried to shut Linda down by saying that nothing ever got done when Linda was in charge (suggesting that Linda was the head of the PTA before Flowey showed up), and Flowey, despite being a monster (even though that's often up for debate, since he has no soul) got more done than she or Linda ever would because he was a male. Sans would then point out that Linda didn't get anything done because she was a bad leader, not because she was female. I stopped there.
I became way too uncomfortable with what I was writing; I don't know much about these subjects and I realized that I was already probably wading into something deep by having So Sorry make an appearance, and Janice would have just lead to everyone burning me to the point of feeling so bad about it that I might have never written again. So then I wrote this, which I think is much better since it puts more focus on So Sorry's abilities and personality. What do you all think?
Onto the update stuff. I ordered Four Swords Part One from my library, but it might take a few weeks to get to me. In Five Swords, the story I'm working on, I apparently left off in the middle of a flashback, which I can write without the book, but that's almost finished, and then I won't be able to keep writing until I get the manga. With the Cult of Steve, I haven't retrieved it yet because my flash drive got full before I could download it. I've emptied my flash drive of unnecessary documents, but I have yet to try and get the remaining files from the old computer hard drive. At this rate, I'll either update this story again or I'll update Five Swords, but given my general laziness and required summer reading (The Fountainhead, of all things. Also, I don't own that), it might not happen for another month. Good grief, you all must dislike me in some distant part of your little gray cells. (That's from Poirot. Also, I don't own that.)
So here's what I want from you. It's what I've asked of you before, but with something else. I'd like you to take the time to check out the poll on my profile. Only two people have voted. I don't know who they are, but they both voted for PTA, which makes me think that no one who's read my other stories is voting (or maybe it really IS the only thing I'm good at...)
This leads me to the second thing: since it'll be a while before any updates are made, maybe possibly you should check out the other things I've written? Like, this Five Swords thing I keep mentioning? What the higgity-hey is that? Or this Cult of Steve/Veneziano? What's that all about? (Here's a hint; The Cult of Steve is not Minecraft related. Also, I don't own that.) Why not read the summaries of those stories on my profile? It might intrigue you, if you like stories full of swords and fighting and junk. You like swords and fighting and junk, right?
So either way, leave a review, tell me what you thought, and have a good night!
