*The Reader glances absently through their email, minding their own business, when suddenl—

I'M BACK! AAGGHH!

So yeah I'm back yay. I'm still in college, but this idea came to mind and I decided to take the chance to write something simple while I had the time. Speaking of this update, there's a message for a guest named Mr reader at the end of this story, who is different from The Reader, which is all of you. The message is after the head canon I don't actually think. You can skip that if you want, I'll label it.

See you all at the bottom of the page.


Happy Poetry Month, Linda! Love, Mettaton

The cafeteria doors burst open and Mettaton EX stepped into the room, arms and grin spread wide. "Hello, beauties and gentle-beauties! Linda," he nodded curtly at the mother.

Linda put a hand over her eyes and looked the other way. Mettaton ignored this and strode up to the snack table, where Flowey was munching on a sugar cookie. He examined the array of treats, then reached for a brownie. Taking a bite, his eyes widened and he choked it down. He glared at Linda.

"What?!" Linda snapped, "you don't even have taste buds, so don't tell me my brownies taste bad!"

"I'm a ghost in a robot, darling. My magic tastes the incredibly strong and utterly unnecessary flavor of broccoli.* If you could actually cook, you wouldn't have to trick your child into eating healthy."

Linda scoffed and put a hand to her chest, but before she could say anything more, Flowey finished his sugar cookie. "Okay, everyone!" he called, opting not to use his Christmas horn. "The meeting can start now! Robobo*, pick me up," he held up his leaves in Mettaton's direction, and Mettaton did as he was told. Once placed at the head of the cafeteria table, Flowey flipped open a folder that had been placed there earlier. "Okay, first order of business," he began, "it's April, and apparently, it's also national Poetry Month." Linda groaned and put a hand to her forehead. "Oh, now what, Linda?"

"Why would we care if it's poetry month? It's just poetry. Besides, it's a useless thing to teach our students, especially nowadays. Haven't you monsters heard of STEM?"

"Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math? Yes, we've heard of it. Ebott Middle School is a STEM magnet school, right?" Flowey folded his leaves. "Just because we're monsters doesn't mean we don't know how schools work. My Mom's friend Dr. Do-nothing* is considering teaching part time in those fields at Ebott College."

"Does he mean Sans' Dad?" Pete asked.

"How does a goat give birth to a flower?" Helen asked.

Bee-be-be-DEE-DEE-bee-be-be-DEE-DEE! Bee-be-bebebebe-dee!

"Order in the cafeteria!" Flowey shouted.

"The point I'm trying to make," Linda continued, "is that the STEM subjects are what our students should be learning for the real world. Poetry is not one of those subjects!"

Mettaton was examining his nails through his gloves. "Nice as that is, Linda, I'm a fan of STEAM myself."

"STEAM?" Linda repeated.

"Science, Technology, Engineering, Art, and Mathematics."

Linda rolled her eyes. "Oh, like art is so important."

"Didn't we discuss this several chapters ago?" Helen asked.

"Sh!" The Author shushed from the corner of the cafeteria, where she was sweeping a square room in a circle.*

"As an idol, Linda, I believe that art is just as important as the other STEAM subjects. Some students are more adept at creative arts, and if we nurture that ability and passion…" Mettaton gazed at the corner of the room with a smile on his face. "We could have some really talented people in this world."

"I don't see it that way," Linda replied.

"I know, dear, and I'm sorry."

"Don't pity me!" Linda snapped. "I don't need pity! I'm just thinking about the jobs that will really be important in the world."

"Idols are important, Linda. Back in the Underground, I was the only star of the stage for monsters. I gave everyone hope on their darkest days, and—"

"Don't make me beep my horn again!" Flowey interrupted angrily. "We're getting way off topic; we're trying to discuss if we should do something for Poetry Month! These are kids, people, literal elementary school children." Mettaton raised his hand. "Yes, Robobo?"

"I think a poetry contest could be a great way for students to get involved for this month. Not required, of course, for those who don't want to write," he looked at Linda knowingly.

"I'm still not sure if we should do this," Linda said slowly, though it was clear she knew it was a fight she wouldn't win.

"If you don't want to do something for Poetry Month, fine," Flowey said. "We can just do something for National Sexual Assault Awareness Month instead."

Linda blanched and made a choking noise.

"That's what I thought," Flowey said. "Alright, all those in favor of a poetry contest for Poetry Month, say 'Aye'."

"Aye!" Several parents said, including Mettaton.

"All those opposed?"

"Nay," Fewer parents said. Linda said nothing.

"The ayes have it. Now, on to our next topic of the meeting…"


Head canon I don't actually think #22: Mettaton is a strong advocate of STEAM. He thinks the arts are just as important as science and math to the world and to culture.

1*: Apparently, according to the Odd1sOut (Who I don't own, but is kind of cool and you should check him out), some parents put broccoli in brownies to trick their kids into eating vegetables. I'm not sure how that would taste, but I guess Mettaton is in tune with his sense enough to taste the broccoli.

2*: Robobo is the name of a character from Sgt. Frog, or Keroro Gunsou

3*: Dr. Do-nothing is a play on the name Doolittle, the doctor who could talk to animals. Dr. Do-nothing is Dr. Gaster, and Dr. Dumb-little is Dr. Alphys

4*: This a reference to the lyrics of the Sgt. Frog/ Keroro Gunsou opening song, which involves strawberry flavored toothpaste and how long it takes to get to the store. I'm a huge fan of Sgt. Frog, in case you couldn't tell.


A Message for Mr reader the Guest Starts Here:

Hey. How are you doing? Fine, I hope.

So, I'd like to say congratulations. You gave me the motivation to actually write this chapter. Kudos to you. However, I must also make this face:

:/

Because you sent me a review on my other story, The Cult of Steve, probably because you thought I would be more likely to see it. And you weren't wrong.

However, I must tell you that it was a little disappointing to not get an actual review for that story. If you wanted to let me know that you were eagerly awaiting I'm a Member of the PTA's next update, you could have just sent a review on this story. I'm not mad, and I don't want to sound mean. You're not a brat, and never will be one. I promise you, dear child, I'm not mad. If you want to send me a message saying I hurt your feelings, I won't blame you.

This Has Been a Message About Things: Message Over


So, what did you think of this story? I squeezed it out in about a half hour, taking a break for dinner. I think it's pretty good. I've often thought that STEAM would be a better group of subjects to focus on, since science and technology are growing fields. But I guess I just didn't want to be alone without a math or engineering degree. I suck at math and science, ha ha.

But never mind my problems, how about your problems? Leave me a review, tell me what you thought, and I'll see you again someday, probably after exams in May. Until then!