"Hooray!" I hear you say, "An Undertale fanfic is here! Hooray!"
So yeah I'm back.
I'm almost out of time in my writing group, so I'll see you at the bottom of the page.
Chapter 27: Guardin' the Garden
"Mr. Dreemurr, hello. I didn't see you there," Linda said, standing up from where she had been kneeling by the flowers.
"Ah, Howdy, Ms. Linda. How are you?" Asgore Dreemurr nodded politely at the mother and adjusted his pink Hawaiian shirt. It was silent for a moment.
"So, do you like the flowers?" Asgore blurted.
Linda glanced back down at the golden flower bed surrounding a huge hedge in the shape of a familiar skeleton's head. "Yes, they look well grown and loved."
"Yes," Asgore followed her eyes. "I take pride in growing plants, golden flowers especially. Did you know," he returned his gaze to the shorter human, "that golden flowers can be made into a special tea? It is a kind that helps you relax."
Linda hummed. "I sure could use some of that," she murmured.
"I may just be able to grant your wish," Asgore said. "Neither Tori—Toriel or Sans the skeleton were able to come to the PTA meeting today, so I volunteered to represent them. I brought golden flower teabags to share with the teachers and parents. Speaking of which, perhaps we should hurry so that we are not late?"
Linda blinked and looked at her phone clock. Four fifty-five. "Yes, that's probably a good idea. Let's go," she gestured for the king of monsters to follow her. "You haven't been to many PTA meetings, have you?" She asked.
"No, I have not. I have volunteered in the past, but I never know which room the meetings are in. Which is just as well, I suppose. I'm only an old gardener."
"Well, the meetings change rooms from time to time. Today, it's in the teacher's lounge."
"Oh, perfect, that's where the tea maker is. I can whip up some tea, nice and fresh."
"Kettle, Mr. Dreemurr. A tea maker is called a kettle. And as nice as it sounds, I'll have to turn you down on the offer. I don't eat monster food."
Asgore blinked. "Oh, there's no need to worry. Golden flower tea is non-magical."
Linda looked up at him. "It's not? But I thought monsters—"
"For some monsters, yes, they can only eat magical food. Skeletons, for instance. However, if a monster has enough physicalness, they can consume non-magical foods and drinks. It's not as easy to digest as magic food, but it provides the same energy needed to survive, as long as enough care has been put into the preparation of the food."
"I… never would have known that," Linda said. "Maybe I will try some tea."
"Wonderful," Asgore smiled. "Ah, here we are."
They stopped outside the teacher's lounge and brought out their snacks: brownies from Linda and bags of tea from Asgore.
"Hi, Dad," Flowey the flower waved a leaf at the goat nonchalantly and flipped to the next page of the folder he was skimming through. "Snacks go on the table by the door."
"Thank you, Flowey," Asgore said, "and I am not your father."
"Denial."
Asgore walked to the counter near the table and pulled the kettle out from under the sink. Linda set her brownies next to Helen's lemon squares and sat next to Janice, who nodded at her.
"Okay, people, it's time for the meeting to start… or it would be, if Dad would hurry with the tea, already!"
"Sorry, sorry," Asgore said. "It will be done in a minute. Go ahead and start, I'll be listening."
"Hmmph," Flowey grumbled, turning to the first page of the folder. "Okay, the first topic of the meeting today is a discussion on the gardening committee." Lidna glanced up at Asgore. He was standing still, facing away from the group. Did his shoulders stiffen? "There have been some complaints that the outdoor décor is 'inappropriate', or whatever. Thoughts, anyone?"
Janice raised her hand. "I agree with these complaints," she said. "The flowers are all one color, and are pretty plain. Also, the hedges are so… abstract, it'll distract the children. I vote we either hire a new gardener, or dock the gardening committee altogether. It's a school, not a butterfly museum. The interior of the school should be the only thing that matters."
"I don't really agree with you, but I'm just one flower abomination. Are there any other thoughts on this?"
Linda looked toward Asgore again. He was still in front of the kettle. Was he… was he shaking?"
"Look, if no one else has anything to say about this, I'll close the topic and move on to the next. Going once… going twice—"
"Actually," Linda raised her hand. "I disagree."
Everyone looked at Linda. Janice frowned at her. "…Why?" Janice asked, through gritted teeth.
"From what my Sam has told me, the students like the plants around the school, the hedges especially. Why should we get rid of something the students like?"
"Because they're children, Linda," Janice said coldly. "They don't know anything yet."
"I disagree," Asgore's voice rumbled. "My ambassador is child, and they are quite knowledgeable."
"That's only one kid," Janice rolled her eyes. "Not everyone's kid is put on a pedestal."
"I'm not trying to take sides here…" Linda said slowly, "but I would hope you have a little more faith in your daughter's intelligence, Janice."
"Oh, you are definitely taking sides. A few years ago, you'd be with me on firing some monster, but now? What happened, Linda?"
"I…" Linda began, squirming under everyone's gaze. "I—"
"Janice," Asgore said darkly. "I do not appreciate your comments on monster workers or your lack of care for your child's opinion. I believe there is a rule for PTA meetings that parents or teachers who do not respect others are liable to be—how do you say—kicked out. Am I right in assuming that, Flowey?"
"Yes, actually, there is," Flowey nodded. "Janice, this is a monster x human school that has been in existence for years. If you're still not over monsters coexisting with humans, you're welcome to leave the PTA. You're worse than Linda, for Pete's sake."
"Hey!" Linda snapped.
"Oh, trust me, I know," Janice's husband Pete grumbled.
"W-we're getting off topic!" Janice spluttered. "Monster or not, those hedges and flowers are still hideous. We should at least look into hiring a new gardener. One with more appropriate tastes."
The kettle whistled and Asgore removed it from the heat. "Here is an idea," he said. "The school doesn't have a mascot besides the Delta Rune Emblem. What if we made the person whom I modelled the hedges after our mascot?"
Janice burst out laughing. "What a dumb idea! Who even are the hedges supposed to be?"
"Papyrus the skeleton," everyone chorused.
"Oh," Janice said, "oh." She blushed and sank into her seat.
"That's what I thought," Flowey said. "Now, all in favor of keeping the gardener, well, the gardener, say 'aye'."
"Aye," several parents, including Linda and Asgore, said.
"All those opposed?"
"Nay," Janice and Pete said.
"The ayes have it. Now, onto our next—"
"The tea is done," Asgore said, holding up a tray with tea cups. "Who here would like some? It's fresh from the garden." He looked right at Janice when he said that. She turned her nose up at him.
Several parents raised their hands, Linda as well. Asgore gave her the first cup. "Thank you," Linda said.
"No, Linda, thank you," he said back, smiling at her. Linda sipped her tea. It really was quite relaxing. "Do you want some, Flowey?"
"Dad, I am a golden flower."
"Oh, oops, you are right. Forgive me."
"Just don't do it again. Anyway, like I was saying about our next topic…"
Head Canon I Don't Actually Think #32: If monsters have enough physical matter (dust, technically, since monsters are made of magic and dust), they can consume human food. It takes more time to digest and it doesn't heal as much, but it's possible.
Linda is slowly becoming a better person. Just goes to show, there's always someone worse.
I got a request to show some PTA Asgore, so I came up with this in an hour. I hope you like it. Also, there is only one canon ship in this particular PTA AU: Alphyne. You can draw your own conclusions for the others, but to me, everyone else is just good friends. Or maybe a little less between Asgore and Toriel, but maybe they'll get over that someday. Who knows?
Anyway, leave a review, tell me what you thought, and check out the poll on my profile. Until next time!
