Okay, so my profile said I won't be back until mid-May, but I had some free time and wanted to do something besides stare at my phone. Thus, this was born!
It wasn't an easy write; took me a while to come up with a coherent plot and head canon. On the other hand, Frisk, Muffet, and Grillby are making an appearance! Hooray! I won't keep you. See you at the bottom of the page.
Chapter 38: Why-Eating Contest
It's rarely a fun day when Flowey, the head of the PTA, shows up at meetings, but it's also rarely fun when he doesn't.
Muffet glanced at Grillby, who was as stoic as ever. She could sense he was near his breaking point, though. "It's two against one, dearie," she said to Linda. "A pie eating contest at the Spring Festival wouldn't be fair to monsters."
Linda pinched her brow. "And why is that?"
"Monsters can't eat more than their magic demands. Think of it as a health bar, like in a video game. You can't keep healing if you're full on health. Besides, the pies you want to serve at the contest are human food, which monsters on full 'health' would have an even harder time with eating. We vote that we hold a different kind of contest for everyone to participate in. A baking contest, for example." Muffet started fanning herself with three of her hands because Grillby was growing hotter and hotter. If this didn't wrap up soon, she might catch fire. Then who would take care of her bakery and spider friends?
"The monsters don't have to participate in the pie eating contest—" Linda was cut short when she noticed smoke coming from Grillby's head. "Tell your co-treasurer to control himself, Muffet!"
"Only when you control your tongue, Linda—"
*CLAP* CLAP*
The three PTA members turned to the back of the meeting room where some of the children who had to come with their parents were playing. One child was standing near the edge of the "play corner" and making their way to the table.
"Frisk, we're in the middle of a grownup conversation, so if you don't mind—" Linda stopped when Frisk started signing.
"They said they'd like to assist with our discussion. You seem to keep forgetting they have a 'grownup' job, Linda." Muffet slowed her fanning. Frisk's presence seemed to have calmed Grillby somewhat.
Muffet waited for Frisk to continue. "They think that they've mediated enough government arguments that a PTA discussion shouldn't be a problem."
"Please," Grillby said quietly.
Linda looked between the three of them before sighing. "Fine, I give in. Mediate us, Frisk."
Frisk nodded and pulled out a coin. They showed the heads side to the monster pair and the tails to the human. They flipped the coin, looked at it, then pointed to Linda.
"Alright, thank you, Frisk." Linda adjusted her white blouse and straightened in her seat. "I would like for the Spring Festival this year to have a pie eating contest. From what I've seen on TV, they're a very energizing event for watchers and contestants. Of course, I would be making gluten free organic blueberry pies for the contest. I… accidentally bought some blueberries in bulk."
"How do you buy that many blueberries on accident…?" Muffet wondered aloud.
"Because I was trying to shop online and the organic blueberries were fairly cheap that day!"
Frisk held up their hands in an easing motion. Everyone took a breath to calm down. Grillby sent a puff of smoke into the air, but not enough to set off the fire alarm. Frisk turned to Linda again and made a "go on" motion.
"I just think the Festival needs some exciting event that would make people want to go. It works in the movies, so… that's my argument."
"A flimsy argument…" Muffet mumbled. Frisk snapped in her direction and wagged a finger before turning to Linda again. They nodded in contemplation, thinking through Linda's argument, then turned to the spider and fire monsters and signaled them to begin.
"As the treasurers," Muffet began, "Grillby and I believe that the money that would go to the pie eating contest could be used in better ways, and be replaced with a cheaper yet still exciting contest. We could hold a baking competition, where monsters and humans bring baked goods for judges to try, then afterwards sell the remains of those baked goods to the festival-goers. Meanwhile, the money for the pie eating contest would go to things like replacing old equipment being used for festival games, like that dunk booth with the broken target. Besides, there's the issue of monsters not being able to compete with the humans if we do hold a pie eating contest."
Frisk nodded again, then began to sign, Muffet translating: "Okay. Both sides have made good arguments. Linda, your idea would be kind of exciting, but given that we're in a monster x human school, having a contest with only human contestants wouldn't be very fair. On the other hand, Muffet and Grillby, your idea would be fair to monsters and humans, but for students this young, it wouldn't be a very exciting contest. Here's my idea: Linda is put in charge of baking blueberry pies with all the blueberries she bought for a pie eating contest, thus saving money that would otherwise have to be spent on store bought pies. My mom can also make magic blueberry pies that could be given to monster contenders. Meanwhile, Grillby and Muffet can organize the baking contest and use the extra money to replace the broken equipment. How does that sound?"
The three adults looked at each other. The other parents and teachers were watching, but knew this wasn't something to interrupt. "…I can work with this," Linda finally said.
Muffet started to nod, glancing again at the fire monster.
"…Deal," he finally said.
Head Canon I Don't Actually Think #44: Grillby knows sign language, but he mostly communicates through single words and gestures. Monsters can sense his mood, and humans can learn to do it too if they spend enough time with him, like Gloria.
I figured that if Frisk is an ambassador to humans and monsters, they should use their skills outside of the office. Thus, they were given the chance to show their stuff. I think they did a pretty good job.
I can't remember if Muffet and Grillby have appeared together in this story or not, and I don't feel like going through every chapter to find out. But I figured it'd been a while since we saw either, so together they came! I hope you liked it.
I'm currently trying to work on the final book in a series that I'm calling The Cult Series, which is about fans of Hetalia and HetaOni going to save the nations from their prison in the mansion. The order is this: The Cult of Veneziano; The Cult of Steve; The Author, The Rogues, and The Oni; and The Citadel of the Onis. If that sounds interesting to you, look at those stories' bios on my profile and maybe give them a shot? I know I can't be the only Hetalia and Undertale fan here, right? Right?
Anyway, leave a review and tell me what you thought. I might try to post something again some time in January, but we'll have to see. Until then!
