Conspireshipping (Bakura Ryo/Marik Ishtar/Yami Bakura/Yami Marik)
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((warnings for self harm mentions, and abuse mentions))
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"Do you ever...miss him...?"
Ryo glanced up from his book. Marik wasn't looking at him, twisting his hands in his lap, over and over again. It was quiet here, in the empty college classroom. Professor Hikokubo never locked his room after his ancient history lecture, so Ryo liked to come here to read. The library had annoying buzzing sounds from the air conditioning, and there was something peaceful about the dusty old lecture hall without any students in it. Marik had started joining him after they had both realized they were in the same class, after the initial oh my god what are you doing in Japan, in my college, why didn't you say anything before that you were studying abroad. They studied together and Marik picked apart the inaccuracies in the textbook about the cultures that the Tombkeepers kept records on. He thought it was a great practical joke when the professor waxed on about how they still didn't know where the kingdom of Punt was, and Marik just leaned back in his chair and whispered to Ryo exactlywhere it was.
Right now, however, it had been a quiet time, both of them with their own books, just sitting in the silence...until Marik had spoken.
"Miss who?" he said, setting his book down and sliding a bookmark into the middle.
"You know," Marik said, waving a hand—still not looking at him. "Him."
He made another gesture, sort of a circle around his chest, and all at once, Ryo knew what he was talking about. His stomach dropped out a bit, and he felt a dryness in his throat.
"I...try not to think about it."
"R-right..." Marik said.
For a moment, neither spoke. Only the dust twisted in the air between them.
"I find myself missing him sometimes," Marik said then, hoarsely. "Isn't that stupid? He killed my dad...tried to kill my brother...tried to kill me...but sometimes I just...I feel...empty...?"
He gripped the fabric of his shirt over his heard.
"Sorry," he said. "That was—I didn't need to say that out loud."
Ryo looked down at the desk.
"I'm the same," he whispered. He thought he saw Marik look up, but he didn't meet his eyes, either. "Sometimes...sometimes I think...where's his voice in my head...?"
He swallowed.
"Sometimes, I...I pick up a kitchen knife. I think—this is the part where he's supposed to hurt me, because I did something wrong," he mumbled. "And I almost do it to myself because I—I missit."
He shuddered, hugging himself and rubbing his arms a few times to stave off the sudden chill.
Marik's hand fell softly onto his desk, and slid across to touch his elbow. Ryo's hand fell down on top of Marik's.
"At least we're fucked up together?" he whispered.
Ryo met his eyes then. For a moment, they only looked at each other—or maybe they were looking at something else. Maybe they were looking at the shadows of what the other used to contain. Something that wasn't there anymore—but something that...against everything, they still felt like should be there.
Ryo's lips twitched into a sardonic smile, and he slipped his fingers between Marik's.
"Fucked up together," he agreed.
. . .
A/N: Ugh I hate doing these ships they're so hard to contain in canon ;w; Next is Conscriptshipping (Gozaburo x Mokuba x Seto).
