Mark was awoken by a light kick to the back. He ignored it. He was kicked again. Sighing, he rolled over to find Erk looking down at him. Erk wasn't smiling, but he didn't look mad either. He just looked over all concerned. Mark didn't want to deal with this yet, but looking at the sun he had slept in anyway. Plus, of everyone in Lyndis's Legion, Erk was the one he wanted to talk to the most. After all, Erk not only knew Mark best as a person, but knew the most about his background too. The two mages just stared at each other for a few minutes, before Erk kicked him lightly again.
"I'm awake. What do you need with me?" Mark said, slipping into his formal speech in his tired state.
"Oh, I don't know, I guess I just want you to be up, already, I'm getting bored with you sleeping this late." Erk said.
"Well, I'm up." Mark said, sitting up drearily. "How did you even get up here? You don't know wind magic."
"Well, I didn't know wind magic." Erk said, smirking. "But, obviously, I do now. Thank my teacher for that."
"Stop calling him that. It make him sound important or something." Mark said bitterly. "He's a failure and a disgrace. Besides, he only took you in a week or two before I left, how did he teach you so much so quickly?"
Erk shrugged. "Maybe he's just better than you give him credit for. You sound like your father right now."
Mark immediately felt a surge of anger and lit his arms on fire threateningly, the fire covering his sleeves without burning them. "Erk I'm going to-" he stopped himself. He put his arms out and looked down in shame. Erk didn't deserve any of that. No one did, it was nobody's fault but Mark's. "...Sorry."
Erk nodded sagely. "You seem stressed." He said sarcastically.
Mark rolled his eyes but felt himself smiling. "Yeah, guess you could say that." He scratched his neck and yawned. "You can tell the others I'll be down soon. I just want to collect myself so I don't have an outburst again or something."
Erk laughed. "Oh, the others left for a nearby fort. Apparently Nils's sister… you remember Nils right?" He asked. Mark nodded, remembering the child from the bar. "Right, well apparently his sister Ninian's ring was stolen and Lady Lyn being the kind person she is decided that everyone would go and retrieve it. Except you. And me." He finished awkwardly.
Mark blinked a few times trying to ignore the thought that he had been left behind by the only handful of people he currently cared about. "...Ok. A day off?"
Erk nodded, "Yes, they told me to let you rest, but it's starting to get late into the day so I figured I would wake you up now. Hence why I'm here."
"I see." Mark said, pulling up his hood and casually leaning back onto the Earth. "Well, I'm up and apparently it's my day off. What do you want to do, Erk?" Mark didn't really think this would help at all but he wasn't going to turn it down either. "Also, how did you even get away from Serra?"
Erk sighed and sat down next to Mark. "Well, personally I want to eat. There's a few restaurants in town that I thought you might like so we could take a tour of those. Other than that, there's nothing really striking about this town. As for Serra…" Erk looked away and sadly palmed the now significantly smaller pouch of gold at his belt. "Well… She's uh… given me leave thanks to some… donations." Erk sounded like he was almost about to cry. He likely took a significant pay cut to take the day off, and knowing Serra… Well, regardless, Mark appreciated it.
"Sure." Mark said sitting up. "Restaurants. I'll pay."
Erk sniffled. "Bless your soul Mark."
The first restaurant they went to was a small seafood shack by a lake. The food wasn't necessarily good, but it was better than the random animals Dorcas had been cooking after Wil brought them back from the forest. Next was a combination bakery and tea shop. Here, Erk and Mark decided to sit for a while. It was on a hill overlooking the rest of the town. After ordering tea and pastries, the two sat at a small table. They'd hardly talked at all. Mark was simply too deep in his own world to enjoy a day with his childhood friend.
Erk sat back in his chair and tapped a small rhythm on his knee. Finally he slapped his hand onto the table to grab Mark's attention. "Alright." He said. "Lay it on me. I'm ready now."
Mark quietly looked up before looking back down in sadness. "...I'm going to be forced back into Etruria aren't I?"
"Yes." Erk said seriously. "You are."
Mark knew this, but it still hurt to hear. "Right." He said, scratching his head.
"But so what?" Erk continued, face unchanging.
Mark looked at his friend in confusion. "So what?" He bagan. "So what is that I have to face everything I said and did before I left. So what is that if my father doesn't kill me on sight, I still have to become Mage General. So what is that Ursula is a member of the Black Fang because I left, and it won't even be for any purpose other than a few months 'vacation'. So what is that I have to leave my new friends, maybe even before we've instated Lyn onto her throne. So what is-"
"Your fingertips are shooting lightning between themselves." Erk said calmly. Mark looked down and shook his hand, stopping the flow of magic.
He looked down, embarrassed. He really needed to get that under control. "Yeah, sorry. Look, my point is simply that there is quite a lot of 'so what' to consider here."
Erk nodded sagely. Their tea had arrived. After taking a sip of his, Erk looked back at Mark. "So, are you going to run away?"
"Like hell I am." Mark spat out before taking a sip of his own drink. "I can't just see this whole thing halfway through. I'm the group's tactician. They rely on me and my abilities, at least to an extent."
"Yet they left for a fight without you." Erk said bluntly. Mark stared at him in cold silence. Erk shrugged. "They did. What else can be said about it?"
Mark silently cursed that it was an undeniable fact he had been left behind. Even if it wasn't a big fight, Mark felt like they still should have let him know. "Yeah, I know. You're right. You're always right." Mark said, giving up and leaning back in his chair.
Erk nodded. "About time you learned that. Anyways, what is to say you can't just run away again once they take you back? I'll gladly help."
Mark shrugged and took another sip. "I don't know. I guess… increased security around the manor? Maybe even father himself at my back? Any number of things, really. They don't want me to escape again, I'm sure."
Erk rolled his eyes. "Well, yes, but you're the Mage General. You can take on a few armed guards."
Mark drank his tea in thought. "First of all," he began, "I'm never going to be the Mage General. Even if I have the title, even if I lead the mage army, I'll never accept it. And, if I don't accept it, I'll never truly take the role. Second, I suppose you have a point there."
Erk sighed and gently placed his finished cup on it's dish. He leaned onto the table and exhaled loudly. "Mark, I'm going to be honest with you." he started. He paused for a moment, fully gathering his argument. "You really make me angry sometimes." he finally said. "I mean, it's just unfair, in so many different ways. You are born into a rich family, albeit poor circumstances, and you manage to escape them, go travelling, meet an apparent heir and have this whole grand adventure. Things just fall into your lap."
Mark sighed. "Ok, maybe in this case, but being that-"
"I'm not done." Erk cut off firmly. Mark quited himself. Erk continued, "You just… you're too good dammit!" Erk said, laughing slightly as he did. "Seriously, you are way more incredible than you give yourself credit for! You're the next Mage General for a reason."
"Because I was born into it!" Mark countered. "You know that!"
Erk nodded. "Of course. But I wasn't talking about someone like me becoming the next Mage General, I was talking about someone like Ursula, or Cecilia. They're both 'born into it' too, and they're exceptional mages."
Mark sighed. "They're both better mages than me any-"
"See!? Right there!" Erk said, stopping him. "Right there, you refuse to admit how much of a prodigy you really are! Don't you think it's strange how things just fall into your lap? That's what it looks like to the rest of us. In the face of something like that, how is someone like me supposed to even compare? People like me need to work their whole lives to reach the point you're at now. And you're not old by any stretch of the imagination."
"You're a prodigy in your own right, Erk." Mark said, still not sure what to make of this conversation.
"Thanks. But that's only in the face of normalcy. In comparison to you?" Erk scoffed and leaned back in his chair.
"... Are you angry with me Erk? Did I do something?" Mark asked.
Erk laughed. "I'm angry that you don't seem to understand that you have the ability to make anything you want happen through sheer force of will. If you want to escape from Etruria again, I truly doubt the entire army could stop you." Erk let that linger.
After a little bit of silence, Mark finally spoke up, "So… what exactly is your point?"
"My point?!" Erk said incredulously, tired of talking around in circles. "Look Mark. If you can escape Etruria at any time you want to, then being forced back is not what you're stressed about. What you're stressed about is that no matter how many times you escape, if you bring your presence up, you'll be dragged back again. Now what does that mean?" Erk prompted.
Mark awkwardly stared, "Uhm… I can't expose myself like I did this time when I escape again."
"Correct. And what does that mean?"
"I don't follow."
"You can't see anyone besides me!" Erks said slamming a fist on the table. "I know I'm your best friend, but I'm now one of a decent number of friends that you don't want to lose. Not to mention you have finally picked up interest in a woman, so there's even more to fight for."
Mark blushed, "Th-there really wasn't time for women when I was being raised to be a killing machine." Mark stuttered in his defence. "Besides, you can't prove even for a moment that I like Florina!" He said confidently. He took a sip of his drink. Erk raised an eyebrow. Mark realised what he said and slowly brought his head back looking at the sky in embarrassment.
Erk held a palm to his forehead, "That's not my point Mark." He said at the end of his rope. "My point is you're sad because you think you won't be able to see everyone again, because if you try to visit such important people you'll be found out like you were this time. Right?" Mark nodded. Erk continued, "Well, you're wrong. Because, like I said, you're the Mage General. You can make anything you want happen. Some of us aren't so lucky. Some of us have to escort annoying nobility instead." Erk, finally satisfied with his point, quietly sighed and leaned back into his chair.
Mark pondered what Erk had just said. It was true to an extent, but of course there was more to it than 'things falling into his lap'. He slowly twirled the small amount of tea left in his glass. Truthfully, he could escape from Etruria again with relative ease, even if they bolstered their defenses. Much as he was loathe to admit it, very few could hold a candle to him in the manor, other than his sisters and his father. The only one who would try to stop him, of course, was his father, but Mark figured it was possible to win that fight if he was clever enough. And, maybe like Erk said, he was smart enough to figure out a way to see the members of Lyndis's Legion. He figured most of them would stay in Caelin, so it wouldn't be too hard to see them all at once. And then, if he got caught again so what? Slowly, thanks to Erk's roundabout and impassioned speech, Mark was starting to rediscover his own confidence that had been diminished by trying to be the perfect tactician for Lyndis's Legion. At the same time though, it made him realize that perfection was going to happen now and again whether he wanted it to or not, as evidenced by the fact he was going to have to go back to Etruria in the first place. Mark resolved that the sooner he accepted that the better.
"... Thanks Erk." Mark said, cracking a wide smile to himself. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You would probably be dead." Erk said casually, nose in a book. "But you're welcome." Mark laughed heartily. The sun was beginning to set. On the horizon, he saw a small group of people slowly making their way back into town. This action caused him to see a quick flash of a red cloak in the corner of his eye. His head immediately snapped towards it. Matthew was running through the alleys of the town, looking very carefully that no one was seeing him and that he wasn't being followed. Soon enough, he spotted Mark. He looked up at him and flashed a toothy grin, waving quietly, before sinking into the shadows. Something about the guy still made Mark uneasy. Likely, he thought to himself, it's that he's a spy. Of course I'd be nervous about him. As long as he's back though, that means the others are close by.
Mark stood from the table and pulled out some gold coins, placing them on the table as payment. "Alright Erk." He said, feeling refreshed. "Let's go say hello to everyone."
When Mark and Erk finally made it to the rest of the group, it was immediately apparent that something was off. The first thing that stood out to Mark was a young red-haired man about his age. He was clearly nobility, likely from a nearby area. He had blue armor and a rapier at his side. He was talking very intently to Lyn, who had her head down. The next was a young girl who was limping and leaning on Nils for support. She had a very badly bruised ankle, but her overall appearance was stunning. Mark guess she was a performer of some kind, like her brother appeared to be, because the dress she had on was way too flowy to be a normal, everyday garment. Finally, the blonde monk that was at the bar the night before was accompanying the group. Now close enough to see that the monk was male, he had a small head wound that he was covering with a hand.
"Hey, everyone!" Mark said, running up to them, concern starting to build within him. As he got closer, he noticed more and more things out of place. For a start, Kent and Sain looked so angry they were nearly hitting themselves in blind rage. Their horses were skirtish. Florina was in the sky, alone, flying up to the hill were Mark had spent the night. Serra was sitting on Rath's horse, a massive gash across her stomach. She was silently crying, trying desperately to concentrate through the pain and heal herself. Her staff was near broken. Erk ran up to help her and she collapsed into his arms. He didn't even react, and began immediately treating her. Wil was leading Rath's horse. He had picked up an extra bow somewhere and was twirling it in his hand. Finally, Mark was close enough to see that Lyn had suffered the most damage. She had a gaping hole in her side. Her legs were bruised and bloodied. Mark now saw that the red-haired man wasn't talking to her, he was propping her up. Mark ran up to the pair.
"I'm Mark." He said to the new man. The man looked up, back to Lyn, who quietly nodded, and then up again. He extended a hand.
"Eliwood. Son of Marquess Pherae. I've heard a lot about you." He said. He paused on that for a moment. Mark took it that Eliwood knew exactly who he was, but also his connection to the group. Mark nodded.
"A pleasure. Can you tell me what has happened?" Mark said, slipping back into his formal voice.
Eliwood nodded. "I can. First, help me take everyone to my home. We support Lyn's right to the throne. I'll explain all when they are in a bed and taken care of." Mark thought quickly if there was any reason to doubt Eliwood's word, but quickly dismissed the idea deeming it a necessary risk. With the groups only healer unconscious, and some many members injured, Mark was just going to have to take Eliwood's word for it. He seemed trustworthy enough.
When the group made it to Eliwood's castle, the members of Lyndis's Legion were quickly taken away to various rooms to be treated. Kent and Sain went to the castle's armory to restock the groups lost supplies, as per suggestion of the Marquess himself. Mark waited in Eliwood's private study as he talked to his father about the situation. Erk was next to Serra's side in a separate room, as she still hadn't woken from blood loss. Wil left soon after everyone arrived to go find Florina and Matthew and bring them to the castle. Mark wasn't honestly sure, where the rest had ended up, or even if they were there. Soon, a knock resounded through the room, and Eliwood stepped in, dressed in simple clothes, his gear removed for the night.
"I apologize for keeping you, sir." Eliwood said, bowing. "It's an honor to have you at our castle." Eliwood seemed like he wanted to say more, but stopped himself. "... I'm sure you wish to know about your friends?" He said, cautiously.
Mark nodded. "Yes. Please start with the worst of it." Mark braced himself mentally. Logic. Tactician role, not friend role right now. He chanted to himself. He snapped back into the present. "I know you were all going to that nearby fort to get that girl's ring. I heard you ended up getting it back. Wil told me." Mark leaned forward. "I'm happy about that, but you need to tell me what's wrong. How did you even get mixed up in all this? Please, tell me everything."
Eliwood looked to the side, as if not wanted to face Mark. "You said start with the worst news, correct?"
Mark nodded. "Yes. I'm prepared." No I'm not. He thought.
Eliwood cleared his throat. "The ones known as Dorcas and Rath have fallen in battle. We were attacked by surprise as soon as we entered the fort. It was a very short, and very one sided victory for them. Once Lyndis was injured to the point you saw now, Dorcas and Rath quickly told us to run as they desperately held the enemies of the fort back. Rath gave us his horse that we might retreat faster. When I looked back, they were lying dead on the ground, but the enemy did not pursue us. We only got the ring because the thief, Matthew I believe his name was, managed to quietly sneak into the fort as we entered. He joined us later and returned the ring. I haven't seen him since." Mark quietly processed this information.
"And you're sure those two are dead?" Mark asked sadly. Eliwood nodded.
"I do not wish to cause you any trauma with details. They were, without any doubt, dead. I'm sorry." Eliwood said quietly. "I wish I could have done more."
"You've done plenty. I'm sure you're part of the reason the others even escaped." Mark said. He quietly held his clasped hands to his forehead. He breathed a deep sigh. He didn't get to know Rath very well, but Mark held much respect for the man. He was just, clearly against Marquess Araphen's schemes in denouncing Lyn, and over all kind when approached. Dorcas was one of the only enemies that Mark had fought in a duel that managed to give him a real challenge. Once he was an ally, he was one of the kindest and genuinely caring people Mark had ever met. For both of them to be so easily taken as Eliwood described, it must have been quite a surprise attack. Mark quietly said a prayer to St. Elimine for the both of them.
As much as Mark blamed himself for not being there and able to, at least probably, tell that it was a trap, he also found a burning inside of him. Erk's encouragement rang in his ears as he rose. Eliwood raised an eyebrow. "Do you not need any more information?" Eliwood asked. Mark shook his head. The enemy they fought was likely the Black Fang, and if so, they probably wouldn't attack again. Mark had a feeling that Ursula hadn't told anyone about his hit other than her personal guard. He silently thanked her for that.
"No, that's enough. Thank you." He straightened out his coat. "Where is Lyn?" He asked. Eliwood pointed him in the right direction and he slowly walked through the dim castle. Various thoughts slowly swam within his head. Mark did not blame himself for these deaths. I wasn't his decision to be left behind, and even though he wished he could change the past and save them, what was done was done. While there were indeed ways to bring them back, it would be a power equal to a Master level spell. If Mark tried to craft such a thing, it's probable that it would destroy him, and he was still needed. This was his prevailing thought as he quietly whipped a few tears from his face before stepping into Lyn's dimly lit room.
She was sitting up in her bed, staring out the window at the night sky. He was bandaged over most of her body. She was dressed in a simple nightgown from the castle, her hair was also not in her usual style. When she heard Mark enter, she pressed her lips together tightly, showing him a thin smile.
"Lyn." Mark said formally.
"...Mark." She said quietly. She sighed and looked down. "Don't blame yourself. I made the call without asking you first as the groups tactician. The blame falls on me."
Mark quietly walked up, picking up a chair from the desk in the room and placing it at her bedside. He smiled at her genuinely. "Yes. You're right. It is indeed your fault." Lyn looked at him shocked before slowly losing her initial recoil at his confirmation. Slowly her face changed from surprise to sorrow.
"I… I knew that… that's why I said it…" She clutched held a hand over her heart and leaned forward, as if in pain. She started to sob. "But it… it still hurts to hear it."
"I know." Mark said. "That's why I said it." He leaned in, all business. "When you're Marquess, you're going to have to make tough decisions for the good of yourself, and your people. Sometimes, nothing is going to work out the way you want it to, and as unfortunate as that is, it's the truth." If this whole journey is anything to go by, at least. He thought to himself. "People might even be mad at your for these decisions and their outcomes. The decisions might be the choice of what important factors of your life to sacrifice. As horrible as it sounds, you need to put on a mask for these moments. You're still our leader, even if you're also a dear friend Lyn."
"Your leader and friend has gotten her friends and comrades killed." She stated flatly. "...Also, you're being hypocritical. You've broken down a lot this quest, that's why I went to the fort without you. You never put on any sort of mask for those moments." She clenched a fist full of bedding. "Y-you even ran away from your own army. Maybe you shouldn't be telling me how to lead one."
Mark gulped. Ouch. he thought, "While it's more complex than you're making it sound, you're right, I have no right to lecture you on the matter."
Lyn clenched her teeth. "Then why did you say-"
"Because even if I don't have the right to tell you how to lead an army, I want to help you however I can. I've told you as much before." Mark said, leaning in. "You're right, I haven't been putting what I'm saying into practice. So let me tell you that if there's any quality that a leader shouldn't have, it's doubt." He sighed. "I finally learned something today thanks to Erk. Trying to be the perfect leader, the perfect tactician, the perfect friend? Aiming so high will only make things worse. Of course we as leaders should strive for perfection, but in doing so we can lose sight of the fact that failures are inevitable."
"How can you call Dorcas and Rath just… failures?!" Lyn cried, "They were our dear friends!"
Mark nodded. "That makes it the biggest of failures on our part as leaders. It's always worse when it matters."
Lyn shook with sadness. "If this is what it is to be a leader… I don't ever want to be Marquess." Mark was quiet. Then he laughed quietly. "What?" Lyn asked. Mark waved a hand dismissively.
"Nothing, nothing." Mark said. "I said something similar once. I'm not going to say what you should do, but I will offer…" Mark paused. "You could just run away." He knew this was something she would hate to hear, and he already knew the answer she would give. Lyn wasn't the type to run away from anything. No, rather this whole conversation, in his mind, was to make Lyn fully realise the responsibilities of a leader. Mark wanted to instill as much knowledge as he could into her before he left as possible. Perhaps it was self righteous, arrogant even on his part, but it was what he resolved to do after his talk with Erk. It was inevitable that he was going to be taken back to Etruria. It was inevitable that people were going to die on this campaign, much to his reluctance of course, but inevitable nonetheless. Some things were just unavoidable, no matter how hard you tried or how talented you were. Mark wanted Lyn to understand that as soon as possible. Afterall, Mark's inability to understand that concept is a large part of why he was continually breaking down. Ironic, he thought, how a speech made to tell me I can to everything with ease made me realize I can't. He silently thanked Erk again, wondering if Erk meant it that was all along.
"...I could never run away." Lyn said quietly after several long minutes. "I cannot leave my grandfather alone with such an evil granduncle. I cannot leave the people of Caelin who are counting on me. I cannot abandon my friends that are still alive." She paused and shook her head. "But I cannot ignore this pain in my heart."
Mark nodded and placed a hand on Lyn's back, comforting her. He didn't have the heart to tell her her grandfather was already dead. "And you never should!" He insisted. "Never reach a point as a leader where you no longer care if people die, that isn't what I meant by putting on a mask anyway. All I meant was, even though it feels hopeless, never let that hopelessness spread over to those in your command. A true leader is someone who takes that hopelessness in any situation all onto themselves, so that their friends don't have to. That's as simply as I can put it." Mark leaned back in his chair. "That's why I'm not a good leader. You've seen for yourself, I let that hopelessness spread too easily." He said. "But that's why you can even get someone like the 'Grand Mage General' to accompany you. You. Just some plainswoman trying to see her grandfather. You inspire hope in others."
"How?" Lyn said. She wasn't crying anymore.
"If you need proof look at me!" He said. "Or, if you think I'm just an odd case, look at Florina! She's an excellent example of someone you've changed for the better. Someone who you've given hope to. Kent and Sain believe in you for a brighter future of Caelin. Dorcas…" Mark swallowed his sadness. "You inspired Dorcas to fight for a worthy cause, rather than blood money. You're better than you give yourself credit for." Mark finished, borrowing Erk's words.
"... We'll never forget Dorcas and Rath. Right?" Lyn said sadly, eyeing Mark through the corner of her eyes. Mark nodded.
"Of course we won't. How could we? They're our dear friends." Mark assured.
Lyn sighed. "Well… Ok. I think I can live with that." She said sadly. "But it still hurts."
"It should."
"What should we even do now?"
"Well, I'd say we continue to work towards Caelin and put you on the throne."
"I'm nervous. The closer we get the more nervous I am."
"I know." Mark said. "Trust me, so am I."
"Hey Mark…" Lyn said slowly after a long pause. "Can you tell me about being the Mage General? I was raised on the plains, so, I don't even really know what that entails, and I know it's hard for you to talk about, but… you trust me right?" Lyn nervously looked at him. Mark sighed and chuckled lightly. He closed his eyes in thought.
"...Alright." He said finally. "I guess you deserve to know."
A/N: This is only really as long as it is to make up for the shorter than usual length of the other two I recently posted. I also just want to say thank you SO much for 50 favs (I was damn happy when I saw that) and I hope I can deliver on peoples hopes. There's a lot to digest in this one, rightly so. Enjoy guys. Probably another chapter before school ends, but def not within the next few weeks, got some big stuff coming up school-wise. Luv ya -Matt
