Merry Christmas, everyone, and thanks so much to those who read and took the time to review/follow my story! I'm so honored! I hope to keep you guys interested in the story since this is going to be a pretty long ride. Ooooh boy.
Enjoy the next chapter!
新生 : 我々は到着しました
Rebirth: We Have Arrived
"If it is not too much to ask...can I come with you?"
Who's there? He wanted to open his mouth to ask but at the moment, he felt like he wasn't in control of his own body, a mere spectator in his own flesh. But even the images he was seeing were very hazy. In fact, his whole mind felt so.
The voice, he could tell was female and familiar, but who exactly was lost to him.
"Are you sure about that?" He heard himself say. "I'll be trying to break into Seireitei. There is a huge chance I'll run into a higher ranking Wandenreich member and even a Sternritter."
Wandenreich? Sternritter? He hadn't heard those terms before. And why would he need to break into Seireitei? He is a Gotei 13 Captain!
"It's dangerous to travel alone, even for you, taichou. I'm not afraid of battle, but I would appreciate it if I had someone to watch my back. I think it would do you some good, too."
He bristled at the implication. "I don't need your help."
His companion sighed, the feminine voice light, round and almost musical. Really, where had he heard it before? "Then think of it as me needing yours, because I am certain I cannot make it on my own."
"It doesn't fit someone of your status to admit weakness, fukutaichou."
Wait, the girl was a Lieutenant? He frowned mentally as he went through the list of them in his memory. Matsumoto. Hinamori. Kotetsu. Ise. Kusajishi. Kurotsuchi. But this voice doesn't sound like any of the them at all.
"I am merely stating facts. Besides, isn't denying your weakness a weakness in itself? It's one of those that I personally hate."
That's an interesting argument. He felt himself agreeing as his curiosity was piqued. Not only did he not know a lot of people who are this insightful, he also didn't know a lot who could talk back to him without coming off as rude.
He replied, "If that is what you want, then I won't stop you. But I expect you to keep up with me at all times."
"Yes, sir! I'll do my best!"
He felt himself turn away, readying for a shunpo. "I'm heading North. Stay with me if you can, K—"
Wait, what? I was going to say her name! He thought frantically as he tried to make out the name of the girl he was with, but the sound, like the image, was too muddled and distorted.
He heard her answer in affirmative, but he was too busy shouting in frustration that he didn't even notice that he was speaking with his own voice.
"Who are you?" It felt like that time Hitsugaya Toushirou first met his zanpakuto, this burning need to know. "I can't hear your name! Who are you?!"
It was so surreal, seeing Seireitei peaceful again.
Peaceful, vibrant, lively and happy-far cry from the desolate, war-torn city in her memories literally torn asunder by the Quincy's onslaught.
Sode no Shirayuki had suggested that they rest in for the rest of the morning, even the day if they could help, and Rukia was tempted to agree. Her breakdown did her some good, but she still felt so raw and confused as the memories of her old life and this new one melded haphazardly in her mind. The images of friends and acquaintances alive in this time were marred by the graphic memories of how they fell to the Wandenreich, and it was a monumental task trying to sort everything without getting some sort of stroke.
But her rest would have to wait. She overhead from the servants that Nii-sama was going to be discharged today.
The last time, Rukia and Renji had been on hand to help Byakuya move back into the manor. Byakuya would later admit to her, at the time when they were closer after overcoming their trepidations, that it was her coming to see him even after all his failures that allowed him to fully believe that they could start over.
Rukia would not deny him that absolution, even if her head was absolutely killing her. And she so badly wanted to see her brother when the last memory she had of him was his blood covered, cold corpse, the elegant Senbonzakura forcibly taken and cutting her apart under the influence of that grotesque bastard—
/Stop, Rukia-sama./ The gruesome image was pushed out of her mind by the snow spirit. /If we are to get through this day, you have to make yourself focus on what we have now./
I know, Sode no Shirayuki. Rukia sighed. I can't help but remember what happened at the war. I just wish it will get easier, at least to the point that I won't feel like I'll have a breakdown every now and then.
/It will in time, hime, I will help make it so./
Rukia had to smile at that. Thank you.
It was a mid-morning by the time Rukia managed to leave the Kuchiki grounds. Word has it that Byakuya was scheduled to return to the compound this afternoon, giving Rukia ample time to wander around.
She was on leave from her Division, but it didn't really hurt to see them again. Though she was barely able to hide her cringe upon seeing their two Third Seat officers again, the image of Kiyone's slit throat and Sentaro's detached head dampening the joy she felt upon seeing them as lively as always. She was both relieved and disappointed that she had been unable to see Ukitake due to the man's coughing being unusually difficult today and had been confined to bedrest by 4th Division captain Unohana.
Rukia spent some time in the 13th Division barracks, helping with whatever work she could, up until noon, when she planned to meet Renji in the 6th Division barracks. She almost laughed at the mental image of her old friend grumbling over being swamped by all the paperwork that had to be done.
She wasn't far off the mark.
"Yo, Rukia!" Renji waved without even looking up from what appeared to be the hundredth document he had to go over that morning. "Sorry, I'd be dragging you to that ramen stand I told you about last week by now, but paperwork's a bitch and Taichou will have my hide if I don't finish all this by the time he gets back so give me a minute."
His obnoxiously cheerful voice made Rukia's heart clench. The last time she had heard his voice, he was pushing Ichigo to fight on even after he had taken a fatal blow to the chest for the orange head.
"Kuh, don't you...fucking dare give up now, idiot! K...Kill that son of a bitch...don't you...let Taichou's and everyone else's deaths…be in vain!"
Renji…strong headed and determined until the end. Rukia mused wistfully, taking calming breaths to steady her shaking frame. If only I could really tell you how far you have come since our days back at Rukongai…
"-kia! Oi, Rukia!"
"...ah! Stop that Renji!" Rukia swatted the hand Renji was waving away from her face with a scowl, which the taller male laughed off.
"You were spacing out, moron! I was worried the heat ate away the rest of your brain for a minute!"
"Idiot! It's your brain you should be worried about." The girl said nonchalantly. "I'm surprised to see you haven't drowned in all that paper yet."
Renji groaned. "Fucking stupid, I tell you! I can't believe taichou is in charge of so much of this shit!"
"What? Did you really think being Captain will be that easy?" Rukia scoffed though inside she was bubbling with mirth. Oh Renji, the way you were in the past...just a few more years, I can see you making it as a Captain. Nii-sama would have been so proud. I would have been. You deserved that and more for all the effort you put into your training.
"You're doing it again, idiot!"
"Eh?" Rukia blinked then cursed in her head for spacing out again.
Renji frowned in concern as he placed a hand on the girl's forehead. "Seriously, are you OK? You're not coming down with something, are you?"
Rukia swatted Renji's hand off again. "I'm fine, baboon brain! I just have a lot in mind, that's all!"
Renji caught her eye before shrugging. "Yeah, a lot's happened these last several days. Can't blame you for still dwelling on it. I still can't believe Aizen, Ichimaru and Kaname betrayed us like that! I could see Ichimaru-hell, everyone probably could-but Aizen and Kaname, I really thought they were good people."
Violet eyes hardened at the memory of the first son of a bitch she had to overcome. "It doesn't matter. They betrayed Soul Society for nefarious reasons so we're going to make them pay for everything they've done. Especially that bastard Aizen."
Renji blinked in surprise at the raw anger in Rukia's voice despite her controlled modulation but nevertheless said, "Yeah, yeah we will. Definitely."
After a moment of silence, with the red head Lieutenant poring over the last of his enormous stack of documents, Rukia returned reminiscing over the last time she had been in her brother's office.
She hadn't been in it often, but there were some good memories to be had, most of which had something to do with Renji. Most of the times Byakuya would let show his softer side only at the confines of their home, and even then, away from the watchful eyes of the other Kuchiki nobles.
She missed those times sorely.
Maybe I can convince Nii-sama to train me again. Rukia thought. Ne, Sode no Shirayuki, do you think I can summon your shikai form?
The spirit paused thoughtfully./Normally, seeing that we are able to communicate like this, you can. However, your reiatsu is all over the place. In fact, there is so much I have to keep some of it back. It is as if the amount of reiatsu you have now and back in the old future are trying to fuse together, making it too unstable for fighting./
So it was just like before, only for different reasons. Rukia surmised. Last time it took me months to get you back, but I don't have to wait that long again, do I?
/If you want to get your influx of reiatsu under control and get to shikai faster, I suggest that you ask help from a captain level Shinigami./
That's...actually a reasonable idea. Again, Rukia considered her brother but quickly shot the idea down. Nii-sama will have a lot of catching up to do with his Division. I can't bother him or Renji. And if Ukitake-taichou is still feeling ill, I can't ask for his help either.
/What about the other Captains?/
Hey, I can't just walk up to them and ask!
/Humor me, hime./
Rukia frowned. OK, say I do ask around. But who can help me? Yamamoto-soutaichou is out of the question, as is Mayuri-taichou, Rukia shuddered at the thought. No definitely not him. Unohana-taichou and Soi-Fong-taichou will probably be too busy. That leaves Kenpachi-taichou, who might reject me off the bat, maybe Komamura-taichou or Kyoraku-taichou will agree.
/...Are you not forgetting somebody?/ At Rukia's inquisitive mental nudge, Sode no Shirayuki tutted. /You know, white hair, green eyes, almost as short as his temper, with an ice release zanpakuto?/
...Toushirou. Rukia's cheeks burned without her understanding why. W-Well, no of course not, don't be ridiculous!
/Well, I believe that he is the most reasonable choice./ The snow spirit said without missing a beat. /Hyourinmaru-dono and I are roughly the same elemental zanpakuto, you are both serious and determined, you both push yourselves to your limits yet are able to keep each other in line, and you are able to balance your personalities out. Yes, definitely compatible!/
...We're still talking about me training to release my shikai, right?
/Why, hime, does it sound like I am referring to something else?/ Rukia's eyebrows twitched at her zanpakuto's too innocent sounding reply. /Besides, do you not wish for you to be friends again?/
The ebony head's eyes darkened. It's not like she was trying hard not to think about him; it's just that everything else seemed easier to deal with first.
From a logical standpoint, there was no reason for them to be friends anymore. She was going to do damn everything she can to avoid the Quincy war from escalating to the point in time when she and Toushirou traveled together. And she was definitely not going to let Rangiku and Hinamori die again.
Besides, isn't she being selfish for secretly wanting to do everything she could to have her old bond with Toushirou back, even if it meant altering the expected course of events too early? Even if their friendship caused nothing but pain for him in the end, because she wasn't strong enough to keep her promise? Because of her bull-headed decision ended up dooming them in the first place?
"Oi, Seireitei to Rukia! You still in there?"
"Wh-what?" Rukia jumped up when she saw her friend's hand too close to her face again. "Renji, you oaf, stop doing that! I was thinking about something very important!"
"I gathered from the way you were staring at the wall and blushing for no reason for the last five minutes." Renji smirked down at her, making Rukia flush again. "That's all and good but I really am in the mood for that ramen. Now, if you want to think and ogle at the wall all day…"
The raven haired shinigami immediately stomped on her friend's foot.
"YEOWCH! HEY, WHAT THE HELL?!"
"Race you to the ramen stand, baboon!" Rukia called from behind her shoulder. "Last one there pays for the lunch!"
"You cheating little—! Oi, Rukia! Get back here! RUKIA!"
But the girl merely laughed as she was chased by a very irate Renji out of the 6th Division, allowing herself to be distracted from the dilemma regarding one Hitsugaya Toushirou.
Lunch had come and gone.
After making Renji pay for all the ramen and a couple more hours at Division Six helping Renji with the remaining paperwork (having taken pity on the poor guy), Rukia found herself wandering the halls of the 4th Division while waiting for her brother.
She honestly thought she could do this, but the closer they got to the 4th Division, the more restless she became. She tried to calm herself by directing her nervous energy into casual conversations with Renji on just about anything she could think of. But by the time she saw the division entrance, she literally got cold feet.
To make things even better, Sode no Shirayuki apparently thought that now was the time to remind her of the Hitsugaya Toushirou problem.
/I don't see why it cannot work,/ said the zanpakuto spirit. /It makes sense that he out of all the captains of Gotei 13 should be the one to train you! And it will surely look favorable that you are taking your responsibilities more seriously!/
That's why I have my own captain, Shirayuki.
/Who you just said earlier might be too ill to oversee your training. And I remember you saying once to Hitsugaya-sama that you wanted to experience training with him someday./
"Ne,Toushirou-taichou, someday, after this war ends, will you help me train to be better at my bankai?"
"Why not? Your bankai is impressive but it can be better. Consider yourself warned, though, I'm a strict teacher."
"From what I've been hearing, you being just strict is a huge understatement."
"And what have you heard exactly?"
"Wouldn't you want to know?"
Rukia shook her head away from the memory before answering her sword. You know things are different now! I—I can't just go straight to him and ask for training, and he has no reason to agree.
/You're being unnecessarily stubborn again./
And so are you! The girl snapped at her zanpakuto. Why are you insistent on this in the first place?
Sode no Shirayuki groaned the way she would whenever she felt her mistress was missing the blatantly obvious. /That's because—!/
"Ah, Hitsugaya-taichou, good afternoon!"
Rukia's eyes flew wide open then, the wind knocked out of her lungs. WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?!
Renji bowed respectfully at the little Captain of the Gotei 13, but Rukia was too stupefied to follow suit.
He was shorter than her again, was what she first noticed, though she knew it wouldn't be that way for long. His hair was spiked back instead of the windswept and fringed, his face smaller and a little rounder, and his hardened teal eyes regarding her a stranger, lacking the trust, camaraderie and warmth she had built up with him in the future.
"Oi, Rukia! You're staring!" Renji's sharp elbow to her side snapped her senses back in place.
"I—I'm sorry, Tou—Hitsugaya-taicho." Rukia quickly amended with a hasty bow. This isn't the Toushirou who let her call him by his first name anymore.
"Anyway, it's a surprise to see you here, Hitsugaya-taichou!" Renji started, obviously trying to divert the silver haired teen's attention at the sight of his irritated expression. "Rukia and I were just waiting up for Taichou. He's due to be discharged today."
"Ah." Hitsugaya said shortly. "I won't keep you then."
Hitsugaya then went past the two Shinigami without a second glance. Rukia felt Hitsugaya's cold reiatsu against her, and was struck by the chill of both his power and his disregard of her.
In a way, it was like seeing him die all over again. It hurt beyond anything she had ever experienced.
She could feel her reiatsu spiking. Shit.
"Well, that was something—hey, Rukia?" Renji naturally noticed the change as he worriedly called to her. "Rukia, are you OK?"
"F, fine!" She answered a little too quickly as she sprinted away from him. "I just, I need to go to the bathroom real quick. Please tell Nii-sama I won't be long!"
Whatever Renji's reply was, Rukia had already gone too far away for her to hear it.
The black-haired Shinigami gripped the edges of the sink tightly as she tried to calm her frosted breath.
Ever since she had come closer to mastering Sode no Shirayuki's shikai, she found that whenever she would become emotionally overwhelmed, her reiatsu would go out of sorts and freeze her body from inside out. She seemingly carried this quirk over this timeline too.
At least it doesn't freeze everything around me in the process. That's what my Bankai is for. Rukia thought. It's just so difficult to get rid of the ice in my body, and I have to do it slowly.
Sode no Shirayuki was silent beside her. She could feel the worry rolling off the snow spirit but Sode no Shirayuki kept her distance. The added feel of the zanpakuto's cold reiatsu will not help her right now.
/Just take deep breaths, Rukia-sama. That's it. Calm yourself and let your reiatsu draw the cold back in./ Rukia focused on Sode no Shirayuki's soothing mantra, her eyes fixed on her face in the mirror slowly but surely turning back to its normal rosy pale instead of bloodless ivory white. She kept at the breathing exercise until eventually the internal freezing was reduced to a chill and her breath no longer fogged the mirror.
"Thank you, Sode no Shirayuki." Rukia said softly. "I wouldn't know what I'd do without you."
/I am glad to be of help, Rukia-sama. How are you feeling?/
Cold, but manageable. The Shinigami answered. I could go for another bowl of ramen after this.
Sode no Shirayuki hesitated. /I was not referring to just that./
Oh. Rukia sighed. Right, obviously. I didn't think I would react like that. I expected that it would hurt, but not that much. She laughed sadly. I'm pathetic. How can I even get started with finding the Shitenno if I can't get my head in order?
She didn't understand it. Rukia cared very much about all my friends and would hate to lose any of them. But why...why does the thought of losing Toushirou-taichou hurt in a way she never thought possible? It was as if her very soul was being torn in two!
/You can start by being true to yourself./ Sode no Shirayuki replied gently. /You are already keeping secrets from the world. You don't need to do the same to yourself. Your true feelings won't disappear just because you won't acknowledge them. It will only ruin you in the end./
"...It hurts."
/Hime?/
"I don't...I can't stand it! It's so selfish of me but it hurts to see him looking at me as if I am a stranger!" Rukia finally said out loud. "I know that at this point in time, we're supposed to be. But back during the war, he had been my friend, my anchor, he gave me the strength to fight, kept me strong when I wanted to fall apart! Who the hell am I kidding? How can I be all right with going back to having nothing with one of the best friends I've ever had?!"
She dug her nails into the sink rim. "I just...I miss him, I miss all of them so much. But even if they are all here, I feel so...alone."
Silence, then Sode no Shirayuki whispered. /Tell me what you want, hime./
It was a tone that demanded nothing less than the truth the zanpakuto already knew, so Rukia gave it. "I want to find the Shitenno, destroy Aizen and Yhwach, and keep the world where we all live in in peace." Violet eyes dulled with pain. "And…and..."
/If you will not allow yourself to be, then let me be selfish enough for both of us./ The snow spirit behind her whispered. /Even if you forget about that because of all your endeavors, even if I have to contest you for it, I will always fight for what will make you happy./
Rukia's vision blurred. Shirayuki…
/And someday, you will regain those other than me who will want to do the same thing. I can only hope that by then, you will be able to fully understand./
Understand what?
Sode no Shirayuki's smile was almost sad. /That you are always worth fighting for./
The walk back to the manor was in companionable silence, as it usually is between the Kuchiki siblings.
It was a good thing that Rukia was able to calm herself best as she could in the bathroom. When she was her regal brother alive again, it took everything she had to keep her reiatsu from going haywire again.
Byakuya told Renji to return to the Division to finish any remaining that needed to be done, and explained in no uncertain terms what the consequences will be if the Lieutenant's performance were less than satisfactory by Byakuya's standards.
Needless to say, Rukia had never seen Renji shunpo away faster. But what bothered Rukia was the fact that she didn't remember things turning out this way the first time.
Renji and I accompanied Nii-sama all the way back to the compound together. They even discussed a bit of 6th Division issues before dinner. Rukia remembered that much. What could have changed?
"Rukia." Her brother's deep voice made Rukia's heart leap a foot in the air.
"Y-Yes, Nii-sama?"
"I sensed your reiatsu flare up on my way to the 4th Division entrance," said Byakuya. "Renji voiced his concern over your distractedness throughout the day."
Rukia winced though not exactly surprised. Byakuya always seemed to find out somehow whenever something was wrong with her. And since she found it was almost impossible to lie to him, she settled for the half-truth.
"My apologies, Nii-sama. It is true I have been having a difficult time controlling my reiatsu lately. It's proving to be a bit distracting this way, but rest assured I am working on it! Actually, I've been thinking of asking for Ukitake-taichou's help to train me, once he has recovered, of course. He is currently under strict bedrest by Unohana-taichou so it might take a while before I can ask for his help."
"I see." Byakuya glanced at her from the side, a strange, unreadable look in his eyes. "It is commendable that you are taking your training very seriously, Rukia. But take care not to overexert yourself. You are still recovering from what happened."
The younger Kuchiki beamed. Praise from her dear brother never failed to lift her spirits, but him showing concern made her so much happier.
"And you are still unable to draw your shikai?"
"Yes, Nii-sama. My reiatsu is affecting my ability to do so effectively. But I believe that if I were to resolve the problem with my control over it, I'll be able to summon it without any untoward consequences."
"And when do you plan on starting?"
"Tomorrow. I already feel much better. I believe I am ready for some minor exercises before asking for Ukitake-taichou's help."
The taller noble nodded but made no further comment. Their walk was silent again, which was fine by Rukia, because she found herself busy pondering over this new development.
First, I get to walk alone with Nii-sama, and second, he actually started a conversation with me that lasted longer than it would at this point back then. Rukia scrunched her nose thoughtfully. Not that I don't like that it happened, but what just happened?
/It appears, Rukia-sama, that things are already changing./
I can see that. But I have to wonder what brought this on because I didn't expect it. Rukia said back.
/Yes, but do is it not, that the point of going back in time is so that you have foreknowledge that could change things for the better?/
Well, I suppose, but...
"Rukia."
"Ah! Yes, Nii-sama?" They were already at the entrance of the Kuchiki manor.
"Tomorrow morning before sunrise, meet me at the garden," said Byakuya. "I will see what can be done to help you regain your shikai."
Wh—what? Rukia would have gaped like a fish at her older brother had her instinctive Kuchiki house training did not keep her jaw in place. This definitely did NOT happen in the past. She didn't know whether to be weirded out or over the moon about this.
Nii-sama, he…! This, did he just-am I dreaming? He's going to help me get my shikai back?! Nii-sama actually offered to train me?!
/Rukia-sama, Byakuya-sama is waiting./Sode no Shirayuki teased, though she sounded just as surprised.
Rukia switched her brain back on. "Of course, yes, Nii-sama! Thank you very much!" She bowed deeply in gratitude. "I—I promise to do my best! I won't let you down!"
/Well, that is one way to top off our first day back. I am almost worried about meeting Senbonzakura-dono again./ The snow lady spirit thought to herself as she watched Rukia follow her brother to dinner. /Still, I cannot help but wonder, if by just going back in time, this world has already become a different one…?/
It was after writing this chapter that I realized I made another FF Type-0 reference. XD
I hope I got Byakuya down all right. He is a tough character to flesh out properly, and I have to admit big brother Byakuya is one of my fanfic weaknesses (big brothers generally are). If there was one thing Bleach got right, it was how the Kuchiki siblings' relationship developed, culminating in the Quincy Wars arc. While I for one do think that it would have made for a much stronger impact had Byakuya actually died, I'm happy with the way things turned out between those two anyway. Especially in the light novels.
(Which ahem, gave me more material on how to write the fanfic's endgame part, but it's a looooong way off. Huhu. T_T)
See you in the next!
HEADCANONS BOARD:
-In the first life, it was Rukia and Renji who accompanied Byakuya back to the compound once the captain was cleared for discharge. But since things were still awkward between the Kuchikis, they didn't get to interact a lot so most of the talking was between Byakuya and Renji. The siblings only begun to really communicate post Winter War, mainly because Rukia needed someone to help her with her bankai.
-Renji is terrible at paperwork. Period.
-While used to the lavish food typically served at the Kuchiki manor, Rukia still prefers the simpler kinds of foods and will always make Renji pay for whatever street food she fancies to buy.
-Sode no Shirayuki's ability is just like Hyourinmaru's, in a sense that it freezes what it should not if the user is unable to keep it under control. The difference is that while Hyourinmaru's tends to freeze things around the user, Sode no Shirayuki's freezer the user herself, from inside out.
OMAKE:
/She is upset./
Hitsugaya scoffed at his zanpakuto's remark. Kuchiki had just ran past him and Abarai with her reiatsu flying all over the place. Any shinigami worth his salt should be able to tell that much.
/You upset her./
What? Now that got the little captain's attention. I didn't do anything!
He felt Hyourinmaru shrug. /Her reiatsu had begun flaring up like that when she first saw you./
That struck Hitsugaya as odd. They may not be overly familiar, but he and the Kuchiki princess did interact a few times before all this...mess started, and the latter had always been respectful and proper.
Yet earlier, it was almost as if she was seeing him for the first time. She literally just stared, frozen. It was so unusual and came out of nowhere that it irked him a little.
But what bothered him more was the look in her eyes. The pained, lost look on them pinched something inside him for some reason he could not explain. And Hitsugaya Toushirou hated things his genius mind cannot understand. He already had enough in his plate as it is.
This is foolish, Hyourinmaru. We don't have time to waste on things that don't concern us. Hitsugaya snapped irritably. We still need to see Hinamori.
/Of course, master./
Hyourinmaru had enough tact to not mention that his master's gaze remained on the little Kuchiki's form until it could no longer follow.
