I wasn't going to post this one immediately, but goddamn did I love writing it. It broke off from a larger Jerza fic idea that I'll have to put on the back burner for now, but I'm hoping that I can get to it someday.

Also, every accident/injury mentioned in here? I have done to myself. So they're 100% authentic.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.


Title: Disaster-Prone

Pairing: Jellal x Erza

Requester: mystificd

Prompt: Happy established couple


"Hmm, maybe this one would be good to have in my arsenal…" Erza mumbled under her breath, her eyes focused on the glossy magazine page in front of her. An axe stood out in sharp relief, every beautiful detail on the weapon displayed to full effect – Erza was nearly salivating over every lovingly crafted piece of metal and wood it possessed. "I don't have many axes in my collection yet… maybe it's time to branch out a little…" Truly, it was a work of art, and on principle she desired to have it in her possession. But there was the price, and buying a house had set her back a bit in the funds department…

Before she could come to a decision about whether to purchase it or not, a sudden yelp from the kitchen had her on her feet and searching for danger long before rational thought kicked in. Once it had, she shook off her fight instinct. "Jellal?" she called out, hearing muffled curses that could only come from her fiancé. "Is everything alright in there?"

"Fine," he replied, with a little too much bite in it to be believable.

Concerned, she ducked into the kitchen and found Jellal hunched over with his forehead pressed into the countertop. His face was twisted up in pain, and he clutched his wrist. Erza approached him and hunched down next to him, laying a comforting hand on his back. "What happened, Jellal?"

It took him a couple of deep breaths, but eventually he said, "Remember that burn blister on my finger that I got a couple of days ago? From when I tried to make dinner and touched the hot pan?" At her answering nod, he continued, "It popped earlier today, and I forgot about it. Then I tried making lemonade just now, and accidentally stuck the open blister…" he sighed heavily, "…right into the lemon juice."

Erza's eyes popped wide open, and she struggled to hold back a laugh. "Let me guess… was the lemon juice…?"

"Fresh squeezed, yes."

A giggle escaped the redhead's control, which quickly erupted into full-on gut-wrenching laughter.

Jellal glanced at her, and a smile spread across his face as well. "Pretty ridiculous, isn't it? I swear to you, that hurt more than anything else I've ever experienced. And I've survived an Etherion blast."

That made her laugh all the harder. "How is it," she wheezed out, tears streaming from her eyes, "that you are the most accident-prone person I've ever seen in a kitchen? Natsu doesn't even injure himself as badly as you do!"

"I don't know!" Jellal protested, sliding all the way down to the floor, his back against the counter. "I try not to be!"

"You're just disaster-prone, that's what you are."

"That would explain a lot about my life, actually."

"Remember… remember last week?" Erza joined him on the floor, a grin spread across her face. "When you set the oven on fire? And used a fire extinguisher on it? It took all day to clean up!"

He bumped her with his shoulder. "I didn't know you were supposed to use baking soda instead!" After a moment's pause, he added, "What about that time I forgot to put the blender lid on before turning it on?"

The memory of the fruit chunks from the failed smoothie splattered across every surface of their kitchen hurled them both headlong into another fit of laughter, and soon they were holding their sides. When it subsided, they were left with faces that ached from smiling.

"Why don't you bandage that blister," suggested Erza. "And I'll squeeze some new lemons for our lemonade."

Jellal displayed his injured finger for her. "Actually, I think the lemon juice healed it. We should tell Wendy when we get a chance. Maybe we've stumbled onto a miracle cure."

"But is the agony worth it?" his fiancée challenged.

He considered it. "On second thought, no. No one deserves that. I think we'll have to keep this medical breakthrough to ourselves."

Erza leaned over, kissing him slowly. After a moment, she pulled back. "I love you," she told him. "And your kitchen accidents."

"I love you, too," Jellal replied in return. "Even when you laugh at me for them."

Then he kissed her again, and they forgot all about kitchen accidents and their plans for lemonade.