I don't know how long it had been since we had left Namek, all I knew was that I was still exhausted and had been completely out of it for the entire time. I was coming in and out of long dazes and short cycles of sleep, never fully grasping the situation around me. Was I asleep at all during the trip? It didn't feel like I was. The entire time, I was haunted by my countless persistent thoughts that plagued my mind, even before coming to Earth. They plagued me, like a swarm of insects that would cover my entire body and eat away at me as the constant thoughts and memories I kept in my head reflected off them. Nightmares. That's what they were. Horrible memories I was forced to relive every time I closed my eyes.
I don't like to sleep sometimes because of them, but I always tried to keep them a secret, since why should anyone be bothered with my problems. So what if I haven't gotten a good night's sleep since I was 7? Literally everyone else in the world goes through something worse. Gohan is just a child, while I'm an adult, and he has and will have much bigger problems than me. I'm not important, so why should I bother others with my minor inconveniences. Besides, I was reincarnated and brought to this world, and even brought back to life for a second time, so what do I have to complain about? So what if I constantly relive memories of Cooler destroying entire planets and races in front of me, or the rare dreams of me being brought back to my old life, only to die again, over and over again, never reaching an afterlife, never finding an eternal rest. And now the library of horrible memories had been updated, as dreams of both of my parents being murdered by Frieza in cold blood was now in my head, as well as Cooler's final moments on my own. My body had been in a constant chill since that had happened. I had...killed someone. And it terrified me.
It was in the middle of one of these minor, unimportant, nightmares that was only slightly scarring on my mind when I felt something hit the ship that completely brought me out of my constant daze. I looked around as the pod continued to, I could only assume, ram into multiple large things that might have been buildings. I was panting heavily when I was brought back to my senses, still unsure if I was still in the mental hallucinations. Everything's fine, I told myself. Everything's fine! Everyone's alive! They're on Earth. They're safe! You're fine! You're alive! Nothing bad as or will happen right now.
After taking a few more breaths, the pod crashed into something else, but stopped moving. It seemed to be stuck wherever I had crashed into. The pod's door slowly opened, but got stuck not even half way down. I sighed as I punched the pod's door off and looked around. Yep. This is Yardrat. The yellow sky and the metal buildings and structures are definitely Yardrat structures. I then noticed Goku's pod stuck in another building nearby. His door opened, and an unconscious Goku fell out of the pod. No! I immediately jumped out of the pod and flew as fast as I could towards him and caught him. I was still too drained to keep myself in the air though, especially with Goku in my arms. I started to fall to the ground, adjusting my body underneath Goku to break his fall. As soon as we landed, I felt something crack in my back and head as everything immediately went dark.
I don't know how long I was out for, like before, but unlike before, I wasn't plagued with nightmares or memories. It was calm. Nothing happened in my mind. No dreams. No thoughts. Nothing. It was calm. Thank god... I don't know what caused it, but I was grateful for it. I didn't even care if I died. Goku should be fine, so everything was good no matter what happened to me. Just as I was losing myself in the dark void, a voice came to bring me out of the darkness. "You don't get to die that easily. Your job still isn't finished. You need to wake up. You need to wake up. Please, wake up!" The strange, haunting voice turned into a kind, compassionate voice halfway through it's sentence. The second voice was familiar. Could it be...?
"K-Kakarot?" I asked within the darkness. I then felt light pour in as my eyes somehow opened. Once they had adjusted to the light, I saw my brother standing over me, his injuries now tended to and his clothes now the traditional Yadrat garments. There was also a blue, round-head type Yardrat looking at me with concern as well.
"Orion! Oh thank god you're ok! I didn't know what to do when the Yardrats told me you had cracked your spine and skull after you tried to save me from that fall." Goku told me, joy now in his previously desperate eyes.
"That...happened?" I asked, my memory of arriving here still a little hazy. "I feel...fine enough..."
"That's the weird thing that happened. We went to get you some new clothes for when you would wake up, and when we came back, your more extreme injuries from the fall were healed." The Yardrat explained.
"Really?" I asked. "That's...strange." How did that happen? I didn't really know, but I also didn't really care either. I was too out of it to think straight. I gripped my head as my brain throbbed with pain.
"Careful! You're still hurt from the fight on Namek, and you still have a few injuries from that fall. Not to mention you're completely exhausted. It's like you haven't been sleeping this entire time." I twitched at Goku's words. I don't think I did sleep during the trip here, or at least, not for very long whenever I did fall asleep. Too many nightmares. "For now, you should just relax and focus on resting."
"B-But-"
"No buts. You've done a lot in a short time, not to mention you were dead until just recently, so take some time to recover." Goku didn't seem like he would budge on the topic, so I relented and agreed to rest. I was restless the entire time, but I did start to feel better after a while. Goku and I also began to get to know more about Yardrat and the people of the planet and I was given the traditional garbes of the Yardrats, since my clothes were completely destroyed like Goku's. The blue Yardrat from before was Pybara, the Elder of Yardrat. He said that he knew what had happened on Namek and not only how the two of us defeated Frieza and Cooler, but how Goku and the others defeated the Ginyu Force, who were planning on coming to Yardrat and to commit terrible atrocities. As a thank you, he offered to train us in the ways of the Yardrat people. He explained how the Yardrats perfected a skill called Spirit Control, which is a stronger form of ki control that helps amplify a user's techniques and power by giving them better efficiency and power. Spirit Control would also allow for us to learn other Yardrat techniques, like Instant Transmission, a teleportation skill, Healing, Gigantification, and a power move called Forced Spirit Fission, which separates the energy of targets.
Goku and I were very intrigued by these techniques and agreed to be trained by Pybara. And thus we began training. We started training almost immediately, though my training was slower and less stressful than Goku's since I was still recovering from exhaustion and a few injuries. Strangely enough though, I was the first one to achieve Spirit Control, despite Goku training harder and harder to get it. I was confused how I was learning it faster than him, but Pybara explained how I was already at a level of ki control that was almost at the level of Spirit Control, so learning it was far easier for me and easier for me to understand and control. With my ki control taken to a much higher level, one that Pybara said was some of the best ki control and Spirit Control he had seen in a person, I began learning the technique Goku and I wanted to learn before anything else: Instant Transmission. This move would be incredibly useful, being able to teleport to any person whose energy I can sense. Pybara was actually ecstatic to see how far I could take the technique, as with my incredible Spirit Control could allow me to sense people from across the galaxy, maybe even the universe once I get strong enough, he said. I didn't know if that was true, but if it was, then it was crucial I learn the move.
A few months went by as Goku mastered Spirit Control, although his wasn't as good as mine, and we both mastered the Instant Transmission technique. With Spirit Control, our power was made much stronger and our use of techniques and ki were made much more efficient. Goku had trouble controlling his ki at first though, as a simple energy blast that normally would have been the size of his palm became a massive explosion. Our use of Instant Transmission was also pretty strong. Goku could travel across the entire planet, while I could sense and teleport to people on nearby planets. The two of us had also gotten much stronger during our time on Yardrat, and Goku began to train himself to control his Super Saiyan form. He eventually got to the point of being able to activate it at will and not be overcome by the anger and rage of the form. That's an aspect that I was failing at. I couldn't activate my Super Saiyan form at will. It was strange. I knew I could transform into a Super Saiyan, but something was preventing me from actually using it. Goku did his best to try to help me, but nothing seemed to work.
"Try to remember that feeling on Namek. Try to remember that anger and power you felt." Goku told me as I tried to focus my energy. I did as he said and began to remember the feelings I had when I first activated the form. There was so much anger, hatred, regret, disappointment in myself, sorrow. It was a tsunami of emotions that overcame me. A golden glow began to cover me as I began to feel all of those emotions. The memories of what happened to Piccolo, Nappa, Krillin, and Raditz began to fuel me as I started to relive the event. How dare anyone hurt my friends and family! How could I let them die!? That's why anyone who even tries to hurt them should-
"Aah!" I screamed as the golden aura dissipated and left me. I fell to my knees as I started panting. I looked down and saw my hands shaking, trembling even. I...can't do it. I just can't. I don't know why, but I can't turn back into a Super Saiyan. I slammed my fist into the ground. "Damn it!"
"It's alright, Orion. I'm sure you'll figure it out." Goku reassured me as he helped me up to my feet. "You're one of the strongest and smartest people I know, so I know you can figure this out."
"R-Right." I nervously said. But I couldn't figure it out. I tried so many times throughout the months we stayed on Yardrat, but I couldn't turn into a Super Saiyan a single time. Eventually, King Kai contacted us and told us that Frieza was still alive somehow, and that he and his father, King Cold, were traveling to Earth to destroy it as a way of revenge for what the two of us did to Frieza and Cooler. Suffice to say the two of us started panicking immediately. Luckily, the Yardrats had helped repair our ships during our stay on the planet, so Goku immediately started to get ready to leave. I started to get ready, but I stopped before I did. Did...I even have the strength to help out right now? I couldn't go Super Saiyan, so would I even stand a chance? And...even if I did manage to go Super Saiyan, would I...
"Orion." I'm snapped out of my thoughts by Pybara.
"Pybara. Is there something you need?" I asked.
"I would like you to stay here for a bit longer." I was shocked by the elder's words.
"What!? Why!? I-I can't! I need to head back to Earth and help fight Frieza!" I exclaimed.
"But you're worried about not having enough power to help protect them, correct?" Pybara's words left me in stunned silence. I didn't know how to respond to him after he had said what I was just thinking about. "I know I cannot keep you here for long, as you have your own duties to fulfill, but I might be able to help you regain that Super Saiyan form you and your brother have been trying to get."
"Y-You really think you can help?"
"Yes. You just need to stay here for a few more weeks. What do you say?" I thought about Pybara's offer for a few minutes. I...I really need to get back my Super Saiyan form. I won't be able to protect or save anyone from this point onward without it. If he can help me activate the form on my own, then I need to stay. And thinking about it logically, Goku could handle Frieza by himself. My being there with him won't change anything. And that doesn't even include Trunks if he's going to show up.
"...Alright. I'll stay."
"Good. I promise that you'll be able to activate that form of yours by the end of this."
"Thank you." With that, I told Goku about me staying on Yardrat for a bit longer. He understood and said that it was ok. He promised that he would handle Frieza himself if needed and we said our goodbyes. He actually brought me into a hug, which really surprised me, like when Gohan did during the training for the Saiyans. I hugged him back and then he flew off. I then went back to Pybara, who started to explain why he thought I couldn't turn Super Saiyan.
"I have been watching you both try to unlock your transformation and have come to understand what it is." Pybara began. "It was a form that was unlocked after experiencing something horrible, and rage that fueled you brought forth the form in the first place. While your brother, Goku, has learned to use the form with control over his emotions, I think I would be right in thinking that the first time you both used the form, you were consumed by your emotions."
"Th-That's right." I confirmed.
"Then I believe the answer as to why you can't use the form is simple." Pybara began to say. "You're scared of it."
"I'm...scared?"
"Yes. Terrified, even. I think you subconsciously are rejecting the form to prevent the possibility of losing control over yourself again. I believe you might have been thinking, or even done something that had a great effect on you." Cooler's death and how much I wanted to kill him and Frieza immediately came to mind.
"I...I guess that's true."
"Are you afraid that you'll do it again? That you'll be a different person if you turn into a Super Saiyan?" I knew that it was true once Pybara brought it to my attention. It was the reason I never wanted to turn into a Great Ape. I was terrified of losing myself in the power and beastial instincts of the monstrous form. I...suppose it must be the same with Super Saiyan. Pybara then placed his hand on my shoulder and gave me a warm smile. "You won't change. You won't hurt anyone. I know that you're a kind soul who puts everyone before himself, but try to believe in yourself more. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for." I thought about what he said. Am I...really strong enough to handle it? It...never seems like I'm strong enough to do anything. But I have to try. For my friends and family. I'll do anything for them.
"...Ok. I think I can do this."
"Good. Now then, try to focus on what your brother was trying to tell you. Remember how you first tapped into the power of a Super Saiyan and focus on it. Don't forget that you are in control and that you won't lose control over yourself." I nodded and closed my eyes. I focused on the emotions that I felt when I first transformed. They were suffocating, but unlike before, I kept standing toward them. I can't lose control, and I can't be afraid of my own power. If I can't protect them, then who will? "Orion. Look." I opened my eyes and looked down at myself. I was covered with a golden aura. I did it. I had turned into a Super Saiyan, but this time, I was more calm. I didn't have the burning desire to kill. I was...me. I couldn't help but smile when I realized that. Pybara smiled as well. "Since you have found a way to activate your Super Saiyan form, how do you feel about more training?" I turned to the elder and nodded.
"Of course! Let's get started."
