This chapter will cement the zany nature that this fanfiction can take, and will show how Haise deals with all the crap in his life within the walls of Tokyo. And Joji once said, 'Fuck the rules', this fanfiction can be whatever we want, this is an outlet for creative freedom. So if I want fucking Godzilla or Shrek in this bitch, you can be your ass I'll write them in.
This fanfic exists solely for fun and entertainment, not to be deeper than what it actually is.
Anyways, please enjoy lol.
Wearing a maroon-leather jacket with tail coats reaching his thighs, Haise had it zipped open to reveal his partially unbuttoned black collared polo-shirt. With his black leather fingerless gloves wrapped around the vibrating handles of his all-terrain motorcycle, Haise revved his engine as he rode on what was left of the road leading from Saitama to Togichi. Frustrated with his life, and angered that he never felt in control of his own decisions, Haise had 'Devil Trigger' blasting through his AirPods, as all he wanted to do in that very moment was let out his pent-up aggression on those who he felt deserved it.
"Fuck Mutuski, fuck Rize, and fuck Roma—FUCK EVERYONE," Haise screamed through his half-mask, which was just a matching white leather version of the set-piece that Kaneki had. "Fuck Kafka Agency, fuck GOAT,AND FUCK YOU IN PARTICULAR!!!" Haise screamed hatefully with his kakugan active, and gritted his teeth the moment he spotted a raider of the wasteland hiding in one of the nearby bushes just off the ruined highway he had been riding on.
The wheel's of Haise's motorcycle screeched as he made a sharp turn, before using his feet to launch himself over the concrete barrier, and over the spike trap that had been set out for him. Getting about four meters of air, Haise made sure that the back wheel of his motorcycle landed on the masked face of the filthy raider that had tried turning away to flee from him.
"FUCK YOU!!!" Haise shouted with a malicious grin across his lips, before squeezing tightly on the brake handle. Stomping down on the accelerator pedal, Haise could hear for a split moment as the raider let out an ear-piercing scream over the sound of his motor roaring, before quickly disappearing as his rear tear ripped the man's head into gorey chunks.
Hearing the sound of gunfire and feeling his shoulder getting grazed by a kagune-bullet, Haise used his eyepatch to immediately identify where the other highwaymen were, and wasted no time unraveling his massive kagune— using the harden and laminated crossed tips of his tendrils as shields, as he kicked the stand of his bike. With the dragon-tipped bullets chipping away at his incredibly durable kagune, Haise took his time with looting the corpse of the man who he had just brutally killed, and decided to try his hand at whatever weapon he could get off of him.
"'OH HUEUEUE, HAISEEEE, DON'T YOU LOVE MEEEEEE?!?'" Haise shouted in a mocking voice, as he thought of how every woman he had been with wanted romance with him, when all he wanted was to bust a nut. "'YOU'RE MY DADDY, I LOVE YOUUUUU, SO LOVE ME BACK!!!FUCK YOU!!!" Haise screamed out before beginning to grind his teeth, as he pulled out the only thing that the headless bastard had on him, which was a Buzz Lightyear action figure.
Grabbing Buzz's legs tightly like a handle of a weapon, Haise turned around and began sprinting faster than what the naked eye could see. Unable to keep track of his movements and speed, the raiders tried retreating while blindly firing behind them, but it was no use— Haise had already closed the nearly three kilometer distance between the highway and the grassy hill that the raiders had been posted at.
To their naked eye, it appeared as though Haise had teleported behind the ghoul who had their ukaku kagune unraveled. Raising the plastic action figure over his head, Haise swung Buzz Lightyear down hard enough to cause the ghoul's head to explode into a cloud of plastic shrapnel and thick red-viscus.
"To infinity and beyond, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!" Haise cackled like a psychopath, as he used whatever was left of the plastic toy to decapitate the closest raider that had been unfortunate enough to be standing beside the other ghoul. Covered in the blood of his enemies, Haise's fists were enough to punch chunks of gore out of the bodies of those who were trying to escape his wrath.
Not satisfied with killing a mere group of twelve raiders, Haise still had a whole lot more frustration growing within him. Cursing up a storm, Haise took a few moments to loot the corpses of the bandits he had slaughtered, and made off with a pocketful of stolen jewelry and valuable trinkets, before sprinting down the grassy hill, and toward the forests of Togichi, like a feral predator on the prowl for more violence.
Having borrowed Ihei's quinque, Haise pulled out the white handle of 'Aus', and gave the large cleaver-like sword a few practice swings, before beginning to use it like a machete to cut a trail through the bushes of the ancient Japanese woods. Chopping trees, rocks, and bushes alike, Haise slashed through whatever stood in his war path, as he searched for something to hunt.
Making his way to a revive in the middle of the forest, Haise walked into the sight of a seven-meter tall dragon that looked exactly like the legendary chimera of Greek mythology. Almost forgetting about just how pissed off he was, Haise took a moment to admire its lion head as it growled at him, while its goat head continued to drink from the rushing river that flowed through the Togichi overgrowth. "Well… Don't mind if I do," Haise said beneath his breath, as he quickly used his free hand to pull out his cellphone.
Trying to frame the giant beast into his shot, Haise clicked his tongue against the inside of his cheek, and didn't feel worried at all as the chimera's long reptile tail whipped, as the dragon head attached to the end of it opened its scaley jaws to begin forming a concentrated ball of superheated RC-cells in its maw. "All for the gram… Bitches love the gram…" Haise jokingly muttered to himself, while smiling with excitement at his exotic find.
"Say 'cheese', you fucking asshole…" Haise muttered menacingly beneath his breath, as he took a few snapshots of the chimera charging at him, before immediately rolling to the side to avoid being vaporized by the highly-concentrated beam of red-plasma that tore its way through the foliage behind him. Sliding his phone securely back into his pocket, Haise had to duck beneath the paw of the beast that had tried swiping at him, and grabbed Aus' handle before using his kagune to bash the horns of the goat head away from him.
Strong enough to shrug off the sheer power behind his crossed kagune's attack, Haise felt even more excitement at the aspect of being matched with an opponent as durable and dangerous as the chimera. "Get some," Haise growled back at the roaring beast, before parrying the jaws of the lion head with Aus' blade, while using his kagune to wrestle with the dragon's unique tail, and the rest of its uncanny appendages.
Although the dragon was large, it was surprisingly agile, and managed to score quite a few hits on Haise, who was flung backwards and broke through rocks and trees alike, everytime the chimera had managed to slash its claws at him. The feeling of getting his body pierced, cut, and burned made Haise feel alive, as the only way he could achieve a true adrenaline rush was when he knew that his life was genuinely at risk. For hours, thanks to the chimera's ability to regenerate and regrow limbs, Haise and the dragon fought beneath the leaves of whatever trees were still standing around them.
By the end of their six-hour long scuffle, Haise had reigned the victor, and stood over the corpse of the fallen dragon, with its severed lion head raised up triumphantly over the half-ghoul's bloodied head. Covered from head to toe in blood that was both his and the chimera's, Haise was sweaty, and his clothes were barely hanging on by mere threads. It was getting close to twilight, and Haise had just had the time of his life, and wasn't ready to go back to pretending to be well-adjusted just yet.
Dropping the head down on the ribs of the chimera, Haise took a few steps back to get a running start, before kicking the severed dragon's head far above the treetops and out of view, just like how one would do for football. Raising his hands up and screaming 'goal', Haise used Aus to carve the pelt of the chimera to create a bloodied-skin bag, before using it to carry the dragon's kakuhou sacs in and over his shoulder, like a demented version of Santa Claus.
Using his Pipboy Readius, Haise was able to find an old Shinto shrine not too far from where he and the chimera had battled, and made his way up a mountainous slope to where it was located. Excited upon realizing that the Shinto shrine he was going to be camping at for the night had natural hot springs built above the red clouds of fallout below, Haise couldn't help but to admire the starry sky above as he climbed up the ancient steps up the slope of the grassy mountain.
Upon reaching the top step of the stairs built into the rocky slope of the mountain, it was then that Haise realized that the lights within the red-painted and surprisingly well-kept Shinto shrine were on inside. Not sure what to expect, but expecting the worst, Haise hid his harvested dragon remains behind a rock, and twisted the top of the pelt-made bag before walking toward the small stairs that led up to the large front doors of the ancient temple.
Using his eyepatch to switch to thermal vision, Haise was able to count the number of large bi-pedal bodies within the temple— took note that all inhabitants were of different height and frame, and moved slowly in relaxed movements. Expecting to be met with retaliation, but not willing to negotiate himself, Haise unraveled his massive kagune before barging through the locked door of the temple.
Covered in dried blood with torn clothes, a single glowing kakugan and four massive tendrils that emitted blue flames beneath their four crossed tips, Haise was seconds away from slaughtering another stronghold of unsuspecting opponents, but upon seeing the looks of terror and confusion on all the various… Monster-human hybrids in the room, all of which were wearing soft white robes over their unique bodies, Haise suddenly found himself bewildered by the unreal scenario he had found himself in.
With everyone either too shocked or afraid of him, Haise's expectations of being met with fighting made him feel awkward, as though he had barged in on some sort of fantasy LARPing session that he clearly had no business being in. Realizing that none of the mostly female 'monster girls' didn't have any weapons on them, nor did any of them look as though they wanted to test their mettle against him. Still fascinated and mystified by all the different skin colors and body parts of the various individuals who were slowly backing away from him, Haise rose up to his feet and slowly pulled his kakugan back into his kakuhou sacs, as he lowered his weapon while still taking in the sights around him.
While he was in the midst of still trying to process what he was looking at, it was then that he turned his head toward the direction of the wall opposite to where he had barged in through. Dressed in a dark blue and black kimono that was loosely fitting enough to reveal her pale cleavage, a short and petite woman with long pink bangs and long pigtails tied in the back came walking down past the well-decorated shrine, and stared defensively at Haise.
"… You are not welcomed here. Leave, turn back, and descend back into the pit of hell in which you crawled out of," the petite woman with literal fox ears on the top of her head, and a bushel of nine fox tails growing out of her lower back commanded, as she raised an arm up to point toward the busted-in entrance of the front temple door.
Completely gobsmacked by the fact that he was being bossed around by another woman who thought herself above him, Haise smirked challengingly at the fox-girl, and crossed his arms on top of the bottom of Aus' white handle. "Didn't think I'd find a furry convention up here… What's with the cosplay going on here? What, was renting a venue in Tokyo out of the question for all of you, or did you all want to tap into your inner nerd, and have an authentic 'weeb' gathering~?" Haise ridiculed the clearly annoyed fox girl, who didn't find his jabs to be at all funny.
"You mock us for what we are, yet the forced arrogance in your voice makes me believe that you're trying to fool us into thinking that you're human— that's you're able to speak down to us from a facade of 'normalcy'," the petite and admiringly beautiful woman spoke, before adjusting her finger to be pointing directly at Haise. "I sense the evil within you, you devil! You may see us as abnormal on the outside, but it's clear to me that our unique appearances are nothing compared to the darkness within your very soul! That is… If something like you is even capable of having a soul…"
Striking a nerve with Haise, who had always struggled to understand his own moral compass while always trying his best to justify the questionable things he did, the half-ghoul's amused smile vanished just as the fox-woman's lips curled into a look of superiority. "… You know, I came out here looking to escape the need of using my words to communicate how I really feel on the inside, so… Why don't we just skip the lecture and back-and-forth shit, and jump ahead to the part where I make a coat out of your furry ass?!"
Accepting Haise's challenge while the monster girls around them fled down the other corridors within the large temple to avoid being caught in the crossfire, the fox-women's nine kagune-like tails glowed with a radiating yellow light, similar to the sun. "Very well, you devil… I, Tamamo-no-Mae, shall bring you to your knees," Tamamo declared with righteousness in her voice, as she began walking down the small steps from the altar, to where Haise was waiting for her with the back of Aus's blade resting on his shoulder.
Due to how petite the astonishingly beautiful woman appeared, Haise wasn't expecting her to be as fast and as aggressive as she proved herself to be within the first two seconds of their battle. Screaming out like a banshee, Tamamo used her nine tails as a ghoul would use their kagune to battle, and broke the floorboards and pillars around them as she tried overwhelming Haise with her surprise attack.
Unraveling his own kagune to block four of the woman's tails from reaching him, Haise had to rely on Aus to parry the other incoming swipes. Thinking that he had the upper hand, Haise leapt upward between the openings between her nine tails, and cocked Aus back with the intention of ramming its long blade through Tamamo's busty chest. But that's when Haise caught a glance of her making rapid hand gestures, before shouting out, "FIRE!!!"
Upon seeing the puff of bright orange flames forming out of the fox-girl's 'o' shaped lips, Haise immediately raised Aus up in front of him to protect his face, before being engulfed in a cloud of fire. Burning alive, Haise would have been screaming had he been capable of feeling pain, and he had every intention of pushing through the fire and flames to penetrate his blade through Tamamo's body, but the force behind her jutsu caused him to fly back and crash into a pillar.
Grunting as the air was knocking out of him, Haise did his best to remain vigilant as the temple's shrine room became ignited with flames— something that he could tell from Tamamo's terrified expression that had been a result of her carelessness, and wasn't at all intentional. Interested in how the fox-girl was able to produce flames from her mouth, Haise took a moment to memorize the hand gestures that Tamamo was doing, before suddenly blowing out a cloud of sub zero frost, in order to quell the flames that threatened to destroy her home.
Quickly and without overthinking it, Haise mimicked what he had just seen Tamamo do with her hands, and felt completely natural as he felt an icy chill filling up in his lungs. Waiting for Tamamo to turn around to engage with him once again, Haise blew hard enough for his frosty breath to directly hit the fox girl's body— causing her body to tense up and form ice-crystals over her skin and clothes.
"What?! H-HOW?!?" Tamamo demanded with bewilderment in her voice, as she lost all control of her frozen-over muscles and collapsed onto the ground. Only able to wiggle beneath her icey coat and move her head, Tamamo lifted her head and had a look of pure fear in her brown eyes, as she watched Haise walking toward her with Aus held up over his head. "W-Wait…! Now just w-wait a minute, WAIT!!! I submit, I SUBMIT!!!" Tamamo screamed out with tears forming in the corners of her eyes, before immediately trying to worm away from Haise with most of her body still frozen.
Only able to turn herself around by rolling on along the wooden floorboards. Tamamo was only able to get a few meters away from Haise, before suddenly she was pulled back by her fluffy tails. Being forcibly flipped around so she was on her back, the supposed divine spirit nearly pissed herself the moment she saw the tip of Aus' blade pressing up against her nose. Being victorious and given the opportunity to end the life of the terrified woman under his boot, Haise appeared menacing with his white eyepatch mask on, which didn't hide any of the blood from the chimera and raiders that made Tamamo see him as nothing more than an evil devil.
So it came to a surprise to Tamamo, along with all the other monster girls who had been watching the fight from the corners of the nearby corridors, when Haise suddenly lowered his quinque before asking, "… You guys have a shower, or somewhere I can bathe up here, right? You all looked pretty hygienic from what I've seen… I feel really gross right now," Haise admitted with a quiet chuckle, before grimacing as he reached up with one hand to remove the blood stained mask from his face.
Confused as to why Haise hadn't followed up on his promise to transform her into the latest fall fashion wear, Tamamo needed a moment to gather her wits before finally replying back with, "Y-Yes…! Yes, w-we have a bath house in the back… A-And a river to wash clothes, b-but… There's this large monster down there, with two heads, and a tail with the head of a-"
"-Of a dragon, right? You're talking about that Chimera at the base of the mountain?" Haise interrupted, and smiled with an amused look in his red eye, as he watched Tamamo's eyes widen with surprise. "Yeah, that thing put up one hell of a fight… But don't worry about that mangy stray anymore— I put 'Old Yeller' down before coming up here to camp out for the night."
"… Its name was 'Old Yeller'?" Tamamo asked with a shocked look in her eyes— completely oblivious to the reference Haise had made, which earned a chuckle out of him.
"Not anymore it doesn't… You're welcome, by the way," Haise said with a bit of sass in his voice, before taking off what was left of his trench coat to drape over the melting ice covering the fox-girl's body. "Soooo… Here's the deal, Foxxy: I'm going to enjoy the rest of my night here, and might help myself to whatever clothes and food you and your furry-friends have stashed away here. I'm going to spend some time in the hot springs, and find a nice little place to hit the hay for the night…"
"… So long as we are under a mutual understanding of what's going to happen, and you not anyone of your cosplaying friends try anythjng stupid with me, then… I'll leave you degenerates to yiff to your hearts' content, and I'll be out of your furry hair by the morning," Haise explained, while still under the assumption that all the monster-human hybrids were nothing more than strange people in costumes. "What do you say, Foxxy? Water under the bridge?"
Seeing how she herself couldn't stand up to the Chimera that Haise had slain, and being shown that she herself didn't stand a chance against him, the fox priest reluctantly nodded her head before letting out a sigh. "I… I accept your terms, and promise to stay out of your way," Tamamo said with a defeated look in her eyes, as she tried to avoid the surprised gazes from those who looked up to her as a leader and guardian. "But… Please, I ask that you resist the temptation of bringing unwanted harm to these good people up here— this is our home, and we only wish to live in peace, away from the damage done to these lands by mankind."
"Uhhhh… Yeah, sure— okay. Whatever floats your boat," Haise said with a chuckle, all while thinking to himself that Tamamo was a little too dedicated to roleplaying for his taste. "… I'm just gonna… You know?" Haise muttered uncomfortably to the shivering fox-girl, before gesturing with his thumb toward a corridor that he wanted to explore.
"… Y-You can f-f-find some old c-c-clothes in the r-r-room t-t-three d-d-doors down on your l-laleft," Tamamo advised while her teeth began chattering from just how cold her body was. "J-J-Just talk around— one of the girls will s-s-show you an e-e-empty r-r-room…!"
"T-T-T-Thanks," Haise replied back in a teasing voice, before turning his back to Tamamo to begin casually making his way to where the room with clothes were, while fox-girl heard the sounds of some of her followers quietly making their way toward her to provide her aid. Being met with nervous stares, or just avoided altogether, Haise couldn't help but to admire just how well maintained and clean the old Shino temple was, and began taking photos of the artwork on the walls to show his friends later.
'Man… This day went from being totally bullshit, to freakin' sweet,' Haise thought to himself with a content smile on his face, as he waved a friendly hand to a group of monster girls who immediately averted their curious gazes away from his red exposed eye. 'Might come back here again— I guess furries aren't that bad after all... I should practice that ice thing again later...'
And there we have it, an ancient Japanese Shinto shrine and temple, on top of a mountain in a mythical forest filled with powerful dragons— where humans and ghouls usually stay away from. These sort of 'wacky adventures' will be in this fanfic, similar to how aliens exist in the Fallout universe.
But maybe not Dragon Ball Z, because I mean, nerfing them might seem to be too much like neutering them. Might add Bulma, and maybe even Android 18, but I don't know how I feel about doing Vegeta and Krillin dirty like that, so they might just be minor characters. Androids could be in this fanfic though, considering that there's robots and shit already that I need to write, but those robots would mostly fight alongside the Enclave.
Will be adding more Kaneki x Eto chapters, that's for sure.
I might add pre-Raditz Goku, might do that with Bulma, Master Roshi, and Krillin. They'll be like Naruto, where they're not main characters but they do have their own moments. Might not do the scene where we have X walking into Y when they're showering, or if I do, then I'll have it be humorous at first, and then slowly weigh on their subconscious. It won't be an immediate lust.
Eto probably wouldn't be too cheesy in this, but I could try to give her a scene later on where she talks about wishing on stars, and how looking back on it she thinks it was merely wishful thinking, but that if there was one wish that came true of hers, it was meeting Kaneki. That connection Eto said she had with Haise earlier wasn't romance, more so she and him met a long time ago, when she helped Aogiri Tree free the child reapers from Sunlit Gardens.
Might not do Chie Horie immediately, not until I introduce Tsukiyama and all of them. Hikari being thirsty for Kaneki is still an idea, but isn't taking top priority just yet— got lots of stories and plots to write in this, and having ideas on the back burner always helps, so keep on recommending me ideas please.
And yeah, having Kaneki getting with Hinami will take a bit, but Haise getting with Ryouko will definitely lead Hinami into seeking attention elsewhere. And we still have Fiona as an option for Haise to bang, and damn lol, Eto having green nipples is like JoJo characters having colorful lips for no reason lol— funny, and I love it.
But having a thicc green ogre milf? What sort of world do we live in where that's not wanted? And then again, hardly any lemons I write are vanilla or 'casual'. They're all dirty, too damn filthy, and perverted as fuck— just the way God intended them to be.
Okay that's all for now, thank you and have a good one!
