"Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose - a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye." ~ Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley


"Alright, everyone! You know the drill: we're gonna start with the first years and work our way up each floor. Small introductions and one memorable experience. We do it right, keep it tight, and we'll be done before break time. Capisce?" The committee chairman Carlos says to all of you. His black hair with graying strands kept in barbers cut and clear green eyes reminding everyone that he ain't wasting his final year at school looking like a slouch.

From what you've heard, the committee will be busy keeping order during the fair event so it's better if you guys advertise yourselves now and then just set up a registration booth while everyone else will be showcasing their other clubs and talents. Amidst all this, you stifle a yawn and wonder why exactly you were chosen as the few to share their experience.

I'm literally just a member with a rumor slapped on as my title…

Your irritated state does nothing to grab Carlos' attention even as you try to stare daggers at him.
With a sigh of resignation, you instead turn to the classroom doors.

So how do I deal with this…

The committee enters through the first classroom in a single file. You were the last to enter, shoving your hands into your pockets.


"... In conclusion, we'll see if you're a decent person or a really good con artist. So best of luck to all of you," you end your turn.

As the second to the last to exit, you hear the increase of murmurs and gossip, with dark and heavy hints of hesitation, retort, delay, the like.

A small huff rumbles out your nose as all of you proceed to the next classroom. Some students might try applying for the committee by the time you graduate, but that's beyond your control.

However, before you enter the next classroom for whatever year-level, you get stopped by a hand on your shoulder.

The sudden physical contact catches you by surprise and your instincts kick in. You jerk your shoulder away and swiftly turn to glare at… Carlos, who whipped his hand up in response to your reflex.

Oh, and one more person you couldn't identify behind him, though from the looks of it, it seems completely coincidental rather than intentional. You relax from the slightly repulsive reaction you gave, which in turn, got Carlos to exhale the air stuck in his throat.

"Sorry about that, a little jumpy today," you start, looking away from him.

"That's actually what I want to talk to you about, Natalia. Keeping your foot down on those first-years was a bit much, even for me," he scolds as he drops his hand, the rough earth of his tone demanding you to listen, but the sympathy etched in each word proves he only means well.

"Not everybody should be gentle, and certainly not all the time. Unless you want someone to be taking advantage of us," you reason with a shrug near the end.

It's troublesome, but somebody has to do it. Besides, I'm just asking them to be more honest and credible. Nothing physical involved or anything.

Carlos sighs, "I understand your personality and goal, but we're both in our last year here, we should be getting ready for bigger things in life. That one rule for third-years that are still in clubs was specifically made for a reason."

"I read it as well. The mandatory focus on employment and officer induction so that we have time for ourselves for things like prep classes or self-healing and so on. Let everyone's last experience being in clubs be enjoyable or some similar phrase," you roll off while circling your hand around like reading from a scroll.

"Yet what you said to them is unnerving at best. It almost looks as if you're distracted, busy with something else entirely," he says, before dropping the tone and switching to a softer, concerned whisper as you finally gather the energy to look at him directly, "your motivation is wavering. Even I'm not that-! Look. Just... Be more considerate with what you're saying, please."

Whatever happens to this organization without me will be sympathized, but can't be helped.

Despite telling yourself that, there's a slight ache in the very idea of detaching yourself from it. It will definitely be missed regardless.

You nod slowly, your voice just naturally saying, "sorry. Yeah, I won't be careless."

"Thank you," he gives a small smile, putting his hands on his hips and giving a long exhale.

"Now, who's behind you?" You quickly ask afterward, changing the topic.

"Who?"

So I was right. Completely coincidental.

Carlos turns around and steps aside for the both of you to see Sunny, in all his eyepatched glory.

… Fuck. Too coincidental.

Sunny gives a small nod, the both of you wave back in greeting.


He's just standing there.

Menacingly? Doubtful. Uncomfortably? Definitely.
What is he waiting for?

"Isn't that the student you showed me was being chased by Edward yesterday?" Carlos whispers.

Right. You reported the issue to Carlos and left the decision to him (but not without you suggesting expulsion first). It seems like Edward's laying low for now. No detention or suspension yet though.

"Yeah… Why don't you go ahead? I'll take it from here," you break the awkward silence. Carlos looks between the two of you before acknowledging your request with a nod and heading inside.

"Alright, what do you want?" You ask, trying to sound as non-threatening as possible by keeping your voice tired but not grizzly. Sunny steps back at your question before rubbing one of his arms.

Still not at ease. Gotta work on that.

You pull out your hands from your pockets and relax them at your sides. He notices that and takes that as the cue to look upward and point at the ceiling.

"Not much of a talker, huh, kid?" You ask rhetorically as you look up as well.

You see nothing unusual or broken with the ceiling.
What is he getting at here…

You look back to Sunny, who is now instead staring at you expectantly, but still has his finger pointed up at the ceiling. With him having no plan on voicing out whatever it is he wants, you decide to grind your gears some more. You look up to the ceiling again, scratching your head.

Ceiling, upstairs, upper floor, my floor level-! Oh. The stairway?

"You're asking if I'll be there later?"

Sunny nods. Looking nervously around him. Watching out?
He really is gonna stick until he thinks it's safe, huh?

"Yeah, I'll be there. Probably a bit later than usual, but yeah. You can go ahead if you want," you answer. His good eye widened at your answer and you noticed his slightly bigger inhale just now. Anticipation.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I got something to wrap up," you jerk your thumb to the classroom beside you.

Sunny acknowledges that with a nod and promptly walks past you, "okay…"

Probably came back from the restroom.

You enter the classroom afterwards, putting your hands back into your pockets after a little yawn and a fix to the rebonded strands of hair on your left side of the face. Hopefully a little fix to your parting words will be enough for Carlos.


You briskly walk your way to the emergency stairway and open the door to see Sunny already huddled there with the tuxedo cat rubbing her face against his leg. Looks like he really rushed his way here, since he brought nothing with him.

You routinely check above and below your floor level to see nobody. After confirming that the coast is clear, you let go of the railing, prop up your mat, tear open your new ham and cheese sandwich, and plop down.

You protecting Sunny from Edward and reporting to Carlos filled your need to commit a good deed. Meanwhile, yesterday only satiated the hole your curiosity created.
But are those enough?

You now have an ultimatum… Of sorts…

To take the kid in front of you under your wing. Help 'em out.
OR
To never bother him until he leaves you for better people. Save yourself some energy.

Any answer is equally valid, in this case, honestly.

You just stare at him staring at the cat as she heads towards you.

They say the eyes are the window to one's soul. But his eyepatch is seemingly the vault door to a soul full of secrets and sorrow, and his stoic expression isn't giving anything away except a peace gained from acceptance? That's not impossible…

But it's definitely hard to believe.

Hmm…

You finally decided. What's in it for you will be on hold for now.
You tear a piece of the sandwich and give it to the cat. Hopefully it won't mind the cheese mixed with the bread and ham.

Okay, avoid interrogating and be more approachable, be the one to start conversations…
You've already exchanged names, next is talking about the situation right now… What's a great icebreaker?

"Hey, Sunny," you begin.

He perks up and looks at you. His stoic face is not giving away much right now.

"Uh… It's been a few weeks into the school year, how are your classmates?" You ask as you start nibbling away.

Gee… What a wonderful start…

You then add, "just wondering."

"I…" Sunny looks away. Embarrassed? "Tried talking. Awkward."

He really isn't much of a talker after all.

"Well, at least you tried. Most introverts would be more reactive than proactive in talking to others," you start with some praise? Consolidation? Both?

Sunny stares at you curiously, you raise an eyebrow in response after you swallow, "what?"

"You?" He asks you this time as he gestures a hand to you.

"Me… As in 'do I have friends?' Or…"

He nods.

"Yeah, I got friends… Or at least, people who let me sit with them during break," inevitably doubting yourself midway, you amend your response.

"Then…" He trails off before pointing down to the platform the both of you are on.

Ah.

"This is my guard post. It is also where I stay away from the incredibly draining, high-octane high school action, which happens at least twice a week. Library's too close to the cafeteria for comfort," you proclaim before finally taking a sizable bite onto your sandwich.

Sunny nods understandingly.

You steer back the topic, "has anyone tried to talk to you about normal stuff?"

He shakes his head. He rests his chin on his knees and stares at the cat in front of him.

Figures. Must've been the eyepatch and scar, you try to guess without asking further.

"New students have it rough, don't fuss too much," you try to reassure him as you reach for your water bottle, "but you won't get anywhere just sitting pretty…"

He snaps his head up at your second statement and hugs his knees a little tighter.

Ah… Shit… Wrong button.

Carlos would've scolded you again for breaking what he just said a couple of minutes ago.

You shake your head slowly, "Uh… I meant you just gotta do better if you're gonna make new friends, especially if you aren't… One to put on a performance."

He relaxes his grip on his knees, "okay…"


Eh… What now…

You glance at his face as you begin drinking. Specifically, to where his eyepatch is.

If he's going to make friends, then he has to get used to slightly sensitive topics.

"Let's… Try talking about…"

Sunny instinctively, but subtly, brings up a hand to slightly cover his right eye… Even though the eyepatch is already there.

"... Where you studied before you transferred, why don't you start?"

Nice save…

He takes down his hand and momentarily looks at you before staring at his own feet. You can hear him stuttering and pausing every now and then.

"Still too much, huh?" You mumble to yourself.

Weird… What if…

With an inhale, you cleared your throat and decided to share about yourself first, "when I was younger, I had a favorite treat."

Sunny slowly glances up at you, his pursed lips slowly opened to wondering curiosity.

"You could almost say it's my comfort food -Er… Drink. Milkshake," you continue, you can feel a certain degree of embarrassment as you hurriedly blurt out the rest, "six times out of ten, I'd go for vanilla, three times chocolate, one time strawberry. Estimate."

No need to say the reason or history… Should be easy enough for him to answer.

Sunny stares at you and blinks twice before you hear what sounds like a long, slow exhale.

Easier?

"How about you? What is your favorite? Or favorites if you have more than one," you ask.

"... Cookies," he finally answers softly, as if it was a big secret all in itself.

You immediately follow it up, "soft and chewy, light and cakey, or thin and crispy?"

"Light… And cakey."

"Is that so…" Before you shrug and give a small chuckle, "well, sorry, but can't get along with you on that one, I like mine thin and crispy."

This is… good enough, right?
No, you only learned his favorite treat, nothing about his eyepatch or where he studied. Don't get your hopes up.

The bell rings. Five minutes before the next period.

"See you around, kid," you say, standing up as you throw your trash into the tiny garbage bag you brought. You store your book and roll up your mat.

Sunny stands up and nods, before slowly going down the stairs alongside the tuxedo cat.

You went ahead and got ready for the rest of the day.


"Natalia… Can we play?" You hear Samson from behind you.. You turn your head to see the seven-year old boy carrying a box full of legos. His black hair is wet, clinging to the sides of his brown face riddled with dirt patches. You check his fingers to see soil lining up the edges of his nails.

Clearly, he hasn't showered yet after his entire time in the playground with the other kids.

With a short exhale, you turn back to scrub the bathroom tiles and reply rather calmly, "you have school tomorrow. Go to bed early."

"No… Please~?" He intentionally gives a higher pitch, trying to appeal to his 'puppy eyes' side as he tries to bring the box closer to his wide dark brown eyes.

You quickly shoot it down before letting the effects take over, "not right now, Sam. In the middle of cleaning up here."

Sam droops in disappointment as he drags out his hum, then he replies, "later, okay?"

You take a momentary pause, inhaling before looking back to Samson straight in the face, "… Maybe."

"How about on day-offs?"

"Maybe as well. When your dad doesn't give me anything to do," you casually shrug before going back to the cleaning.

Though I doubt that he won't give me things to work on during the weekend.

"Go drink some water first and then rest before showering," you order him.

He nods before turning to leave you in silence and goes to either your mom or his dad.

After all of tonight, I'm taking a quick shower and gonna get some studies in.

The step siblings are already asleep by eleven. You secured the house and brought some soda crackers up to your bedroom before taking a shower. You noticed some shallow cuts near your elbow and on your fingertips.

Hmm… Alright then.


Last time you checked, it's already quarter to one o'clock. Feeling the ache on your shoulders and hips, you take a break and lie down on the bed, your eyes wide open staring at the ceiling, forcing yourself not to yawn.


Your sister starts collapsing on the floor in breathtaking laughter as you finish reporting everything you've done during break time. The heat rushing your ears daring to flame up and burn you into ashes with embarrassment.

"I thought you had friends! What was that?!" She says, trying desperately to catch her breath between each exclamation, wiping tears off her face.

That's it!

"I'm hitting the showers," you declare, abruptly hauling yourself up and stomping out of the room.

"But you just showered a while ago!"

"… I'm gonna get some water!" You march away to the sound of your sister starting another round of hysterical laughter, she's pretty much ecstatic at this point for the rest of the night.

Well, at least you made her day… At the expense of yours.

"Aren't you going to try again?"
"Probably," you shrug, "I'm just helping him get used to talking to people."
"Just like that?"
"He can't make friends if he's known for sticking with me," you shake your head.

She exhales, before looking back up, "whatever you say, well, at least you're doing your b-!"



You didn't bother checking the time again before you crashed to sleep as your eyes gave up.

You dreamt of a crow perching on your left shoulder. Across is an old man, way past his sixties judging by his unshaved beard reaching towards his lower abdomen, blurring his face with a mysteriously dark blot. Two ravens sit on both of his brown-cloaked shoulders as he strolls past you with his wooden staff. His posture is still surprisingly upright while he walks towards the edge of a cliff. Waiting. Observing. As if expecting someone or something to come out of the deep waters below the cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean as his ravens croak and grunk whilst flying away into the distance. Good luck if he encounters any slimy celestial monstrosities from the deep waters below waking from their sleep.

Interesting that your recent sleeps now have dreams in them. Dreamless naps were the routine back then. A result of a small change in your everyday life perhaps?

At least your alarm for four o'clock was set beforehand.


This thing's been collecting dust. Sorry, y'all, I feel awful too for this.
What do you guys think? Any comments, suggestions, criticisms will always be taken into consideration, I greatly appreciate it